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Virgin Surfing concemed about safety glasses glued adopted goofy surfer culture to his head surfs on water thỉnks he's one with the oceam Chad Lava Surfing little regard to his safety favorite pass time inside volcano SURFS wears Deluxe Fireproof Giuseppe Zanotti boots sick lavaboard "Go with the filow, dude" 99 Thad Interstellar Surf casually surfs in space faster than light no need for air, food and sleep glorious silver exterior protects him from cosmic radiation terraforms planets with his c-- UP!

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virgin vs chad virgin v chad surfing lava surfing silver surfer thad virgin walk chad stride

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Virgin Mars Colonisation -Thinks mars will someday turn out as friendly as Earth from future """terraforming projects"""""" Lives for like 1 year on mars before dying of bone cancer Thin, weak atmosphere -Temperature comparable to a cold day in wisconsin -Will literally never happen. -Elon Musk prob fooled you into thinking this is possible for attention -Barely restraining himself from depression caused suicide Chad Venus suicide mission -Accepts venus' eternal literal manifastation of hell. Can literally swim in the 90 bar air, how cool is that -Survives for like 9 minutes max before his space suit melts and space helmet cracks opencracks -Temperature comparable to sticking your head in a pizza oven. Huge rush of adrelinine and testosterone Can easily be done, only ethics are stopping NASA

Is literally a giant baby Reads books and uses big words like a true virgin The virgin Judge Holden Small size just makes his penis look bigger The Chad Glanton Is the leader, even the Judge must answer to him Hairless? That's kinda feminine bro Has sex with a retard and 12 year old girls Claims to be a judge, but never reveals what he's a judge of. Seriously what the hell is going on with that imbecile? Literally told the Judge to stop being a bitch and to get a new horse Last words are unfathomably based Can never go out in a blaze of glory because he can never die Probably isn't even real, just some kinda metaphor. What a cop out. Banned from returning to Texas probably because he had premarital sex with every woman in the state Keen strategist Zero redeeming qualities yet still loved by all

Self The virgin Zeus Centered f-- demons The one true god, Arceus Secretly allied to Cares for all living things ด Does not tolerate malice Mistreats his own family Allowed humans to be mean Finds excuses to do as he pleases Racist to those he call freaks A family man Encourages being nice and kind 100% pure, humble and truthful Friends to other races, even heroic digimon

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The Virgin Handshake vs. The Chad Interlocking Toes

Chad Interlocking Toes Virgin Handshake Though easy in theory, most Reserved for Requires extreme handshakes fall under two the closest Do you balancing skills categories; 'The Dead Fish', or 'The Hydraulic Press' friends only know how disgusting hands are bro? Graceful wOм OUCH! as a ballerina A cold and unpersonal way of greeting someone The first person to have a foot fetish Really low of you to bully Virgin like that, tbh was a woman who had witnessed this awe-inducing way of greeting

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Virgin Qassem v. CHAD KOBE

The Virgin The Chad Kobe Bryant Qassem Suleimani Hates Jews Mourned by the world Legends never die. Hates Christians Mourned We love you Kobe! Hates Sunnis by no one Terrorist Killed by a guy with an xbox controller 2 US presidents wrote heartfelt a4 7,000 miles away Entire NBA took messages about Most people would say, "Who the f--- is this guy?" 24 or 8 second him Hobbies include violations to bomb making and spreading hate honor him Loving father of 4 Only his hand was left. (Now casting for the 5x Champ Inspired a generation of basketball players Died while Addams on his way Family) Encourages people to coach his daughters to be the best at team what they love to do

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Generic Virgin Pop Singer v. CHAD RANCH

Chad Grant MacDonald Virgin pop singer generic music MANLY MUSIC FOR MANY MEN sings about being a loser, while being a literal star dresses like a virgin FULL OF ENDLESS PLEASURE HAS MORE COWBOYS THAN VIRGIN has to feature all songs sound the same other pop singers to get CHADLY METAL RIFFS AND MANLY MOANS money ARE THE PERFECT MADE THE LEGENDARY MEDIUM FOR RAM RANCH STORYTELLING

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Virgindere Dev v. Chadhead

The Virgindere Dev The Chadhead has never coded in his entire life incapable of controlling emotions, tard rages after falling to chads masterpiece, cuphead can't make characters, buys them off unity store instead programming skills haven't improved at all specialises in art has to seek valdiation from forum posters shows true passion for his game, quit his job to continue working on it ouch! literally named chad spends more time streaming than developing his game incapable of making own art, resorts to stealing already knows he's perfect, doesn't need validation from his game is challenging and appeals to a wide audience specialises in tricking his fans into thinking he's making in progress his audience consists of the internet virgins and horny teenagers knew he couldn't make a game alone, had a team work on the game

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Simp versus Wizard and Virgin

Hair seems to overreact to wind "The Simp walk" "The Virgin Walk" the wizard walk Head craned forward Sometimes uses heaphones to escape potential conversation or mitigate agoraphobic symptoms A hand containing all its money is Looks below parallel extended when so polite he has grown angel wings approaching the stacy. Avoids eye contact, and looks away immediately if accidental contact hair overreacts so crooked neck 100$ Back much it looks like slouched tentacles Perceives every oncoming face in his periphery as "looking at him" The hand with the money is the highest topo- graphical point of the simp when extended Too polite, gives too much space for oncoming traffic But secretly hates people who walk slowly when side-by-side Used to be a Wizard but ate a hunched back Stiff, straight arms GMO soy burger at Burger King, the high estrogen content short circuited its brain so it forgot how prostitution works: It will pay females for doing nothing. legs struggle to drag body around moves slowly. Struggles to find comfortable hand form Little arm movement Might be too tense and rigid Чw Gets stuck in curbs and tram tracks looks so low that Bonus: Sold its wings to give stacy more free money Walking pace/form lacks fluidity because he struggles to "autowalk" -- analogous to always manually breathing walking pace changes walks at lightspeed Clothing is all neutral coloured Wears running shoes Only wears black coats Stands with a weird posture Is insecure about how he walks Occasionally expells a soy-milk like white liquid. Can't reproduce even if it had the you cannot even see his iris every nanosecond Sold hair and pawned earphones headphones that block all possible: Walks too fast sound chance. clothing so boring its impossible to look at doesn't even wear shoes long trencoat right out of the matrix posture is only found in ancient minoan mythology Compulsively needs to pass anyone walking slightly slower than him really really long steps So humble it scrapes against the pavement arms so straight like they are made Drags so hard against the would kill himself over the way he walks pavement that it leaves a of solid metal Even medieval Japanese pesants, begging for their lives to a ruthless feudal lord, thinks this posture is a bit too submisive. No shoes, sold them to give the money to stacy if it had any Long strides trail of blood hand form has eternal suffering

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NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES - THE DOODLECHAD

"MyOoo yOy WAAAA!" Oh god oh f--- he has Chad's magic pencil Chad is legit worried about what he had created Chad created doodlechad to have a lifting buddy, it backfired big time Easily the biggest mistake chad has made so far "YoU DoOdLe Me ChAd!" "Me NiHoY mE NoY!" it was only a matter of time until doodlechad decided to rebel against his creator [WAAAA!! "YaAaA yOoO wAaAh!!"

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Virgin Nostalgia Critic v. CHAD AVGN

The CHAD AVGN The virgin nostalgia critic Rushes video without care Not Bully Bully Isnt really Respects coworkers an a------ Rude to until coworkers Is an a------ to needed everyone Takes time and care in videos Mostly keeps Coworkers in Keeps cc works outside forno reason

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Virgin Moonman v. CHAD JOHNNY REBEL

The Virgin Moonman The Chad Johnny Rebel never even promoted his music, still famous started as a McDonald's mascot, literally the face of globalism fanbase is exclusively /pol/ and incels uses the music style of the people proud southerner, only sings country he claims to hate songs produced for the shock value instead of actual humble, doesn't like unwanted attention McDonald's so embarrassed by him that entertainment they removed all his statues started out in the 60s, loved by boomers and zoomers alike not all of his songs are racist so he's got something for everyone

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Virgin Template v. CHAD CLAYMATION

The Virgin Template The Chaadman Claymation My hair is made of cheeese! Boring hair Unique Overdone Huge masculine hands Tiny hands OUCH Flat bluge Bulge made of 1lb of clay Hand sculpted Traced

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Virgin Regular Speedrun v. CHAD AMERICAN DAD SPEEDRUN

The virgin Normal speedrun The chad American Dad Intro speedrun Impregnates women without touching them in a 10km ratius. Cheaters get executed on the spot by the Stan him: Spends countless hours practicing different games to get a better knowledge of their engines sometimes even men Never spends more than 10 seconds in a run, too busy slaying p---- Gets scamed by 12 year olds promising money in exchange of breaking records Streams his runs to ensure to people that he's not cheating, people still doubt him Uses tricks that only require patience and precision instead of real skill Wins millions of dolla everytime the discove 0.01 second shortcut Cheaters only get humilliated, Uploads his runs to youtube, people trust him knowing that he would never edit them how boring No one knows him All the tricks he does are frame perfect and require super chad instincts to be done Has never played a game in his life, still breaks every record

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Virgin Moe Art Anime v. CHAD JOJO v. THAD OINGO BOINGO

The Chad Jojo The Thad Oingo The Virgin Anime Started of as hyper muscular, and then became more feminine and androgynous Born from Araki's Art Style Moe Art Style Boingo Art Style Look like someone from Chernobyl insecurity of his future when he just got married Abnormally huge eye and lack a nose. Bizarre, abstract and yet aesthetically pleasing Aesthetically pleasing Bright colored hair that make the characters look like feminazi Accurately predict the future but is everyone often misinterpret it due to its abstractness Was displayed at Louvre. Try to look cute but it isn't Inspired by Araki's fashion sense and Greek and Roman Art and sculpture

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The virgin iron man vs The Chad War Machine by ChurchOfWarmachine

Dresses like a gay janitor The Lovecraftian Horror that is Uncle GuspachoM Same color scheme His mere presence violates the Geneva Conventions causes any in the immediate vacinity to buckle or collapse. as Lightning Mcqueer Lasers. That's literally all he does whether out of arousal or Forces minorities Unclenched fists always ready to strangle enemies of the state despair, only the fallen know and children to be Iron Man when he gets too incompetent to do his own damn job M----------- is so addicted to overcompensating that he built fake muscles into his suit "And the truth became so hideously clear: Never killed a human, just a lot of communists If there ever was a sweet Jesus andif there ever was a God, that god was War Machine" Alcoholic - I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream At least 12 weapons of mass destruction protruding from each appendage, each of which could level a small continent or bring down a 3rd world government in the span of a few hours Diaper fetish His two 14 inch stallion grade meat pistons each have 17 confirmed kills and left many more permanently disabled and in constant orgam His "personality" consists entirely of OMG ROASTED SAVAGE So gullible that he actually beleived Pepper when she told him the kid wasn't COMPILATION #435 and unfunny sarcasm Got legs f------ shattered by stark's fagbot, gets up and keeps serving his country without so much as a complaint Tries to quit at every possible interval because he's a lazy p------------ Happy's Signed the Sokovia Accords Signed the Sokovia Accords so his wife would come back because that's what America Bombed muslim children would want him to do Bombed muslim children for America money

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+23

Virgin vs. Chad - Virgin Surfing v. CHAD LAVA SURF v. THAD SILVER SURFER

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Virgin Surfing concemed about safety glasses glued adopted goofy surfer culture to his head surfs on water thỉnks he's one with the oceam Chad Lava Surfing little regard to his safety favorite pass time inside volcano SURFS wears Deluxe Fireproof Giuseppe Zanotti boots sick lavaboard "Go with the filow, dude" 99 Thad Interstellar Surf casually surfs in space faster than light no need for air, food and sleep glorious silver exterior protects him from cosmic radiation terraforms planets with his c-- UP!

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