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Virgin vs. Chad - Image Gallery Page 16

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Virgin Shopping vs. Chad Browse

"The Virgin Shopping" "The Chad Browse" Plans every conversation before entering the store, still screws it up always browses in packs first shopping cart he grabs already has all the items he needs already inside wears as much clothes as climate permits using reverse temporal mathematics, calculates exact change before leaving the house. wears minimal attire permissive by law If he fails to find an item he needs, he buys something anyways so as not to appear awkward takes the busiest route between aisles worries of being accused of stealing still pays with credit card afraid of asking for help coughs before every attempt at speaking mentally drains all knowledge from an employee whilst screaming sticks as close to the aisle as Feels like his every purchase is possible to avoid greeting people he knows judged by the cashier lets cashier do the arithmetic to minimize risk of embarrassment carries the entire cart with one hand as a pre.- workout always pays in cash

Wizard Walk vs. Virgin Walk vs. Chad Stride

Hair has been firmly fastened to never react to wind or any laws of Hair seems to overreact to wind the wizard wallk "The Virgin Walk" THE CHAD STRIDE Head craned forward ysiques Sometimes uses heaphones to escape potential conversation or mitigate agoraphobic symptoms Has figured out how to- always look everyone in the eye at once at all times Looks below parallel Head is at a perfect verticle angle at all times so polite he has grown angel wings hair overreacts so much it looks like tentacles Avoids eye contact, and looks away immediately if accidental contact Perceives every oncoming fece in his periphery as "looking at him Has never heard a song in his entire life crooked neck Back slouched Does not register the emotions or feelings of others at all Too polite, gives too much traffic Arms constantly flailing in confident, unpredictable ways ace for onc hates people who walk slowly when side-by-side hunched back Intentionally slaps and batters incoming traffic to make his own path Stiff, straight arms Struggles to find comfortable hand form Little arm movement Hands always prepared to grab nearby fertile p---- Might be too tense and rigid Back is so straight you could measure structural foundation with his spinal cord looks so low that you cannot even see his iris Bonus: Clothing is all neutral coloured Wears running shoes Only wears black coats Stands with a weird posture Is insecure about how he walks Walking form is poised like a Greek statue, perpetualy in contrapposto Walking pace/form lacks fluidity because walking pace changes every nanosecond walks at lightspeed he struggles to "autowalk analogous to always manually breathing headphones that block all sound Rapidly tiptoes around like in "going to the store MANDATORY possible: clothing so boring its impossible to look at doesn't even wear shoes long trencoat right out of the matrix posture is only found in ancient minoan mythology would kill himself over the way he walks Walks too fast Compulsively needs to pass anyone walking slightly slower than him Does not feel the need to pass anyone because he's already brutalized everyone nearby into Wears visually-painful bright neon attire 3000 highlighter boots from Giuseepe Zanotti Does not wear a coat, is immune to cold No one alive can insult his posture and get away with it Does not read stupid s--- drawn by Quentin really really long steps arms so straight like they are made of solid metal Tiny beetle-like stride Long strides hand form has eternal suffering

Wizard Sit vs. Virgin Sit vs. Chad Lounge

"The Virgin Sit" "THE CHAD LOUNGE" The Wizard Sit Vibrates constantly to annoy people Tries to stay perfectly still Takes up an entire row of chairs by himself Perfectly aligns spine with the center of the Earth for optimal posture, making his neck immune to pain. to avoid bothering other Always chooses the middle of a row of chairs. Hunches back and neck, and will not sit up straight to relieve growing pain in neck because he thinks that will make him stand out. Head always faces up while looking everyone in the eye Doesn't know who's around him people. Head always facing down to avoid eye contact, looks at feet to determine who is around him. When needing to is always relaxed, but still ries to sit near someone, he will simply sit on top of them Sits in the mathematically perfect center of all available chairs in the nearby vicinity change his posture constantly to challenge himself Always listening for a chance to start a conversation with a stranger When needing to sit near Is never in a relaxed pose his chaso someone, will sit on the edge of the chair to avoid being close to someone else who's sitting down. Uses every limb available to manipulate smartphones Believes that it is impossible for a mortal man to see him maintain the same pose Completely immobile, vital processes have ceased to ensure a total lack of movement Never removes his earbuds, uses them to avoid social interactions with strangers. Thinks everybody is looking at him Entire outfit is composed of jeans Too busy to own a cellphonee Uses his smartphone constantly in an attempt to appear busy and less awkward. Doesn't wear pants. Eyes have never made contact with another living being, can use feet to determine the future Keeps legs close together so as to not annoy people for taking up space Wears jeans exclusively only to fit in, has no sense of personal style Legs spread as wide as possible for maximum comfort. Has manipulated the total consciousness of mankind to make sure everybody who ever existed is looking at him Maintains least comfortable pose possible, changes pose every attosecond Earbuds are permanently embedded in all orifices

The "Virgin Drive" vs. The "Chad Plow"

The The "Virgin Drive" Can't even look other drivers in the eye -Chosen solely to slay as much p---- as possible - Is able to wave to every driver in a mile radius - Car is neutral colored and chosen based on fuel efficiency - Doesn't even havea license, driving speed -Modified to have - Has never dared to honk his horn - Scanning 3-6 seconds ahead of him and maintains six different horn a proper following distance sounds play all at and direction is entirely random once wow - C-- and p---- juice stain the entire back seat, making it unusable - Car is either perfectly clean from lack of use or extremely dirty with fast food wrappers and loose change ill plow through - Will leave and go somewhere else if forced to parallel park - Upper half of body is hanging out the window, car is controlled with Chad's toes - Wouldn't dare to stick his arm out the window other cars and/or park sideways in the middle of the road Never drives drunk -Will die if BAC goes under 1%

The Chad Feast

Only capable of eating if there are at least 50 people present. Eyes are incapable of seeing or comprehending any device invented after the 1950s Only eats in a pack with other chads Refuses to eat anywhere except for a restraunt. Back is perfectly straight and parallel with the table at all times Literally incapable of consuming food while alone. Constantly screeching as loudly as possible. Talks constantly with friends while eating, not even stopping to chew or swallow Uses telekenesis to lift food into his mouth, removing the need for arms Ambrosia, definitely not water. DANG Chest has takern on the shape of a funnel as a result of years of training Meal is an exact replica of the food pyramid Has never heard a song in his life

The Virgin Meal

Prefers a quiet dinner instead of loud social interactions "The Virgin Meal'" Eye's fixated on eletronic device Eats alone Would rather order take-away or delivery as opposed to eating at a resturant Arched back, leans towards the table Uses mobile device to substitute eating and talking with friends stays silent Eats alone on weekends, public holidays and birthdays Uses adjacent arm to shovel food into mouth Soda, possibly water Junk food or leftovers instead of a nutritionally balanced meal Slight pot belly, is conscious of his weight but does nothing likes ambient music to drown out the silence

MS Paint illustration

Hair seems to overreact to wind "The Virgin Walk" Head craned forward Sometimes uses heaphones to escape potential conversation or mitigate agoraphobic symptoms Looks below parallel - Avoids eye contact, and looks away immediately Back slouched if accidental contact Perceives every oncoming face in his periphery as "looking at him Too polite, gives too much space for oncoming traffic But secretly hates people who walk slowly when side-by-side Stiff, straight arms Struggles to find Little arm movement comfortable hand form Might be too tense and rigid Bonus: Clothing is all neutral coloured Wears running shoes Only wears black coats Stands with a weird posture Is insecure about how he walks Walking pace/form lacks fluidity because he struggles to "autowalk" analogous to always manually breathing Walks too fast Compulsively needs to pass anyone walking slightly slower than him Long strides

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