Anon is monumentally stupid | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: Shotgun.jpg (89 KB, 1035x432) Post Firearm Accident Greentexts Ar >be me >playing with shotgun on cam with friends >load shell and boint >trigger is a ball hair from breaking >ohshit.jpg >rack the shell out and stop playing with the gun >the shell f------ shatters my $300 moniter Dont play with guns guys.

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>after decades of s------- on Americans for being warmongers and refusing to help the U.S. against Russia and China, 1.97 MB WEBM Europeans suddenly love NATO and American interventionism >meanwhile all the conservatives (who fight America's wars) have become blackpilled isolationists who don't give a s--- if Russian tanks cruise into Paris and don't think Western liberals are any friendlier than Putin How are Europeans going to cope with the fact that their arrogance has destroyed their continent?

Anonymous 03/16/23(Thu)14:34:40 No.92128194 File: Alpha and his watch.png (1.59 MB, 1102x1190) >>92118515 (OP) >be me >buy casio f91w watch >only $10, such a steal >wear it everywhere >people ask "is that a rolex?" >nah bro, it's a casio f91w >they look disappointed > little do they know, it's the real flex >accidentally drop it, still works >try to scratch the screen, impossible >it's like a little tank on my wrist >even have a stopwatch, so fancy >forget to take it off in the shower, no problem >water-resistant af >never taking this bad boy off >Casio F91W gang for life

File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

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Anon expresses an unpopular opinion | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/13/24(Wed)18:34:04 No.205698889 >>205699594 >>205700356 A classic beauty. Anonymous 11/13/24(Wed)20:55:26 No.205706056 the face she's making is the face i make when someone calls an ugly bitch like her beautiful Anonymous 11/13/24(Wed)19:01:57 No.205700100 >>205699594 she looks like the rock with downs

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This community requires title to be at least 10 characters | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 11/13/24(Wed)21:42:05 No.205708269 >I'm green! lol nice try Shenequa you're not fooling anyone

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Field Hospital | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Is moving out possible at all (...) 115 KB JPG 07/19/24(Fri)13:23:34 No.31645889 >Just turned 18 some months ago >Graduated highschool with a 2.1 GPA, was severely anxious and depressed until recently and pretty much just coasted >Made some good money doing side gigs but its slowed down to hardly anything >Living alone this summer paying bills with said money, down to my last thousand bucks >Been applying to jobs for the better half of a year, a few interviews out of hundreds of applications and have not been hired at all >Seriously considering if college is a good decision if i cant even afford a semester >Pressure from family to pursue a 4-year degree but no college fund (LOL) > Adults I know making "very good money" can hardly afford to live on their own themselves, either with a roomate or still with parents >Adults that can afford to live by themselves work dangerous, soul crushing jobs What do I even do from here, am I doomed to neet forever? The prospect of perusing a career I want if any is becoming more and more out of reach. All I want is to live with my partner and work a decent job (if any) that can pay the bills.

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Schrödinger's Ukraine | /r/Greentext

Ukraine is Nazi No, Ukraine is Commie Anonymous (ID: +dEeJNER 11 >>488258353 >>488258443 >>48825870 >>488260220 >>488261204 >>488263352 >>488 >Goes on Twitter >"Ukraine is a far-right neo-nazi state" >Goes on 4Chan >"Ukraine is a far-left marxist state" Pick one, you can't have both.

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Stream of consciousness | /r/Greentext

File: h-------- just kill me.png (60 KB, 860x666) What was your biggest social f--- up moment in your life? Anonymous 11/13/24(Wed)16:31:38 No.79439397 [Reply] >>79439701 >>79439730 >>79439845 I have a BRUTAL one that makes me audibly shout slurs as a reflex from pure cringe whenever I think of it. >be 14 year old me >move for the 4th time in my live to a new school because my dad keeps getting promotions >start the class year midway through it already >as I am introducing myself in front of the class I scan the classroom >everyone has their small friend groups & cliques already >try to make an easy friend as quickly as I can >see fat short boy with bowlcut sit alone all the way in the back of the class >he is wearing a rammstein T shirt with a jacket made out of the same blue material they use for jeans >has a dumb pipsqueak voice >target acquired >approach him and we quickly become friends within hours >on the same exact day I meet him the PE teachers announce that every class will be forced to do an activity organized by the school >vividly remember him recommending the treasurehunt in the woods near the school as it is the easiest to do of them all but its done in duos for safety >agree to become his partner >after 2 or so days the day finally arrives >wake up early and put my sport clothes on >bike to school >meet up with him at the entrance of the forrest >walking doing the treasure hunt >having a good time >suddenly need to take a piss >mention it to him >remember how he EXACTLY stammered "I..uh..ok" >I casually turn 90 degrees to the left towards a tree and whip it out to piss thinking its no big deal at all expecting him to just look away for a second or two >as I am taking a leak I can feel his vision lazer focusing on my penis >awkardly laugh and try to ease the awkwardness by saying jokingly saying >"What? You never seen one before??" >mfw it turns out "HE" was just a fat girl the entire time FบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบบUCKKKKKKKKKKKK thank god I moved away at the end of the year but in my defense she did have a gender neutral name

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Anon cast Avada Kalashnikova | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/17/24(Sat)03:41:20 No.202569771 main-qimg-b3edd64e93fad09f533d08b5b955a84e-lq.jpg 44 KB JPG >Professor, because I grew up among muggles, I know about their weapons. They have one that can kill any dark wizard >What is it, Miss Granger? >It's called a gun

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American bros, did this happen to you? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: ftmMx6zy American Parents 11/02/24(Sat) 08:42:31 No.486673236 IMG_0223.jpg 55 KB JPG >No don't socialize with other kids or develop any life skills or enjoy life or freedom in any way you need to focus on school work so you can get a good job >Why are you so demotivated, depressed, alone, and still living with us at 30 we had three kids by your age Why are American parents like this? I wasn't even allowed to go outside in the backyard because my mom was scared of child molesters.

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Business Relations | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 ▼Settings Mobile Home Anonymous r/AskReddit u/Ni99erfa990t69. Jetzt *A Übersetzen 11/13/24(Wed)16:27:58 No.79439351 What is your standard MC Donald's order? ♡ יס Teilen AutoModerator MOD . Jetzt Hi, your post has been removed as it's related to the ongoing US elections. There's currently a thread for that topic here, please feel free to post your question and/or thoughts in that thread instead. Thanks! I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Antworten 411 KB PNG Voten >Go on Reddshit >Go on r/AskReddshit >Ask them what they order at McDonalds >Get Banned for politics MdDonald's is political how? Anonymous >>79439351 (OP) 11/13/24(Wed)16:28:44 No.79439359 poorly programmed filter that only looks for the word donald

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Red Dead...Based? Redemption II | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Sg3cwaPC) [+] 06/05/23(Mon)17:13:57 No.429553057 ROCKSTAR GAMES PRESENTS RED DEAD REDEMPTION A Red-Dead-Redemption-2-Ecran-Partage-Featured.jpg 101 KB JPG >you WILL fight bigotry and intolerance in this game, chud >you WILL attend the women's rights rally. >you WILL not attack the native Americans >you WILL kill the Confederate southerners who are depicted as retards >you WILL remark that it's a good thing black slavery is over and then proceed to kill white slave owners 74 Replies 15 Images View Thread

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Anon is black | /r/Greentext

File: 0d8.jpg (22 KB, 600x744) Anonymous 09/17/20(Thu)13:12:45 No.60083338 >>60083786 >>60083828 >Be me >Black robot >Can't talk to non robots because I'm socially awkward and they get at me for not "acting black" >Can't talk to robots because I get called a n----- and laughed out of any conversation It's hard out there. Anonymous 09/17/20(Thu)13:50:01 No.60083786 ► >>60083338 (OP) That's what you get for being a f------ n-----

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Anon visits his aunt and uncle | /r/Greentext

>5 year old sister and I (7) visiting aunt and uncle on their ranch >after getting settled into our room my sister and I go out to the horse pasture fence to pet the horses >friendly mare takes grass from us and lets us pet her head and nose >young male horse wanders up to us >he's a bit skittish but eventually takes some grass >all of a sudden he lunges towards my sister and bites the top of her head >she screams as blood starts streaming down her face and neck >We run crying and screaming back toward the house >aunt and uncle hear us and run outside >aunt puts a towel on sister's head then drives her to hospital >I go hide upstairs in my room cause I'm scared >after a while I hear a noise coming from outside >look out window and see my uncle beating the horse to death with a metal pipe

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Иҟалап аахәаҩ иџьаз ажьақь ахьыҟоу азы дашшылозар | /r/Greentext

763 198 KB JPG > MMKM+ > Ter AREA THE WIFE HEMOUE?

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