Anon is a high calorie individual | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

☐ File: IMG_9528.jpg (504 KB, 1179x1015) >apologize and say i ate the last one >"wdym? we baked like 40" crappy morning Anonymous 11/03/24(Sun)19:02:18 No.79341690 [Reply] >be me >visiting my younger sister's house for dinner with my mom and dad >her and her husband are bakers and they made some cookies >after dinner everyone is sitting around chatting >i'm right next to the cookies >everybody's had one or two (important) >the cookies are literally delicious >i asked the group if anybody wants another one and nobody answered >every so often i grab one and chow down >before i know it the bowl is empty >after some time sister's husband pipes up >"hey man can you pass the cookies?" >my mom and dad agree and say they want another one >apologize again and say i guess i finished them and chuckle >i say "guess they were just too good!" to kind of ease the tension >nobody laughs >sister, mom and dad are just looking at me >conversation resumes but everything feels a little off >later we decide to get ice cream as a kind of second dessert >when we're at the ice cream place my dad goes "careful everybody, keep your ice cream away from anon!" >this time everyone laughs other than me >feel awkward as hell >next day my sister calls me and tells me she was upset that i ate all the cookies and they were supposed to last the whole week >ask w-- i was supposed to do and she snaps "maybe don't be such a fat f---?" >hang up on her so that was how my day started, how was yours?

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Poor Dreamcast | /r/Greentext

SEGA dreamcast.jpg 32 KB JPG >Does absolutely nothing wrong >fails anyway OPEN

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Life wasn't all grim (except for certain times) | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/02/24(Sat)20:21:18 No.693604852 The Middle Ages according to... Historians: Hollywood: 1.46 MB PNG >no glass windows >random torches on the walls >dirt and mud all over the roads and walls >use mud and straw on wood housing, including on tile roofing >no color Yep, that's a medieval game right there

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Portuguese Anon shares his everyday routine | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 28 KB PNG 10/28/24(Mon)09:27:50 No.203929810 >wake up early (10AM) >get up and have a coffee and cigar for breakfast >my parents, whom I live with, wish me a happy birthday >turn 31 today >head outside, the sun is shining, weather is great >collect my welfare, i'm unemployed and NOT looking for a job >tourists come up to me, give them wrong directions and send to the dangerous parts of the city >have some cod and wine for lunch at a local restaurant >spend 100 euros on the lottery, sports betting and other games of luck, lose all of it >oh well better luck next time >buy a pack of cigarettes, should last me for a couple of hours >go over to my girlfriends house >have sex and then beat her bloody (my football club lost) >join a march for the chud party >don't know any of their policies, just don't like immigrants >harass every single Brazilian I come in contact with >go to the beach >take as many creepshots as I can of the women >go to the local tasca >get drunk >its dark so I make my way home >turn on the tv >some s----- news channel reporting on yet another boomer that killed his wife and then himself >fall asleep at around 3AM >will repeat all of this the next day Anonymous > 10/28/24(Mon)09:36:50 No.203930095 >>harass every single Brazilian I come in contact with 1.62 MB PNG

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The absolute state of /an/ | /r/Greentext

BPC-Services-Spiders-Yellow-Sac-Spider.jpg 489 KB JPG A spider has entered my body against my consent what do I do? I was at my ex's house this morning and she's like you people obsessed with bugs and s--- and has fish tanks with spiders and crickets and all that weird s--- so I was hanging out with her like usual and we sleep together and nap before I go do whatever for the rest of my day and I wake up to her letting a spider like this one but super tiny into my cockhole. I freaked out and kicked her off the bed and squeezed my c--- but idk if it's still in there I said what the f--- and she said she wanted me to c-- the spider in her vagina so she can be a spider queen and so I left her house and she spammed text messages saying don't call the police she'll kill herself she'll get r---- in prison etc so i blocked her but i don't want her to harm herself so im at home with an ice pack on my c--- drinking lemonade so I can piss it out hopefully do spiders like cold? What can I do? I have no insurance so no hospital for me thanks keep me posted

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Probably for the best | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/02/24(Sat)07:41:34 No.693536853 1730464460735972.jpg 20 KB JPG >Yeah, I killed the entire Dragon Age franchise for good

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Peter should have chosen the landlords daughter. He fumbled hard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/06/24(Sun)10:52:57 No.204224651 172822573683112550.png 686 KB PNG >Peter, I don't want to hear about your 2 jobs, university, internship, dead parents, dead uncle and 1 living related soul who is a sick old lady, financial struggles, loss of your house and your scooter that got demolished in a car accident. Why didn't you show up to my play? I have to f--- Chad now, bye : Anonymous >>204224651 (OP) # 10/06/24(Sun) 10:53:41 No.204224664 Women are unironically like that. >>204225210 # >>204226624 # >>204229174 # >>204229237 # >>204229649 # >>204229751 # >>204231449 # >>204232223 #

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Based and real | /r/Greentext

⠀ Anonymous (ID: qB8ni0uS) 11/03/24(Sun)22:17:19 No.486800578 HAVANA SYNDROME lowiqpublic.jpg 227 KB JPG >Havana Syndrome leaks >congressional testimony comes out that technology exists to mimic craziness/schizophrenia >some of the diplomats claim to have heard voices >oh s--- Nicholas Cruz, Kyle Odom, Operation Red Mist >immediate CIA coverup and witness tampering >even people on this board claim TI's to be larping schizos LOL

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Covert Operation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous O.K. 07/19/24(Fri) 07:37:09 No.31644326 GF BLOWS YOU UP WITH A HOMEMADE EXPLOSIVE ASMR. based.jpg 93 KB JPG >37 >khv, but tbf never really tried, and have no desire to nor do I want to. >have a job, pays well >No debt, have a house/car. >don't hate it, so it's pretty good >have some time to play videogames at home after work and on the weekends. >Stepfather/grandmother/grandfather passed away, last grandmother has early stages of dementia. >Grandfather is still alive. >Parents retired this year, and are still doing fine so far. >Live in quiet solitude. >Have a friend who visits once every few months. >Not sad/depressed. >Health is alright. Not obese--yet. Have some mild tinnitus for the past year. >Just...alright. Everything's just...fine, I guess. I'm kinda bored.

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In Pod We Trust | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot(1539).png (632 KB, 802x452) NA LAUDEL ☐ Suicide Doctor Arrested Anonymous (ID: V8mbLrxc 11/02/24(Sat) 15:16:22 No.486664403 >>486664447 >>486664617 >>486665950 >>486666396 >>486666581 >>486666651 >>486666813 >>486667118 >>486667163 >>486667223 >>486667276 >>486667729 >>486667947 >>486668208 >>486668567 >>486668900 >>486670388 >>486675274 >>486677364 >>486677799 >>486677957 >>486678270 >>486678337 >>486678596 >>486678993 >>486679162 >>486679446 >>486679920 >>486680054 >>486680316 >>486680417 >>486680651 >>486681146 >>486681798 >>486681861 >>486682957 >>486683272 >>486683577 >>486684092 >>486687146 >>486687189 30 minutes of strangulation inside the pod. Australian-born Dr Philip Nitschke, 77 - nicknamed Dr Death invented the Sarco, short for sarcophagus. >suicidals BTFO https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14030293/Sarco-suicide- pod-post-mortem-evidence-dark-spot-caught-camera-mysterious- alarm-questions-PAUL-BRACCHI-investigates.html >> Anonymous (ID: V8mbLrxc) 11/02/24(Sat) 15:19:30 No.486664617 >>486667276 >>486667734 >>486668341 >>486670041 >>486677149 >>486677611 >>486678432 >>486678596 >>486678766 >>486679140 >>486679346 >>486680533 >>486681346 >>486682994 >>486683701 >>486684552 >>486684801 File: Screenshot(1540).png (376 KB, 510x506) >>486664403 (OP) >This line of inquiry, the article alleged, came to light at a court hearing when chief prosecutor Peter Sticher is said to have suggested the woman may have been strangled. The claim was based on a phone call from a forensic scientist to investigators a few hours after she had died that she had suffered injuries to her neck. Apparantly she wasn't dying after 30 minutes of struggling so they opened it up and strangled her with hands around her neck. Dr. Death fled the scene. ☐ Anonymous (ID: QTIJaile) 11/02/24(Sat) 16:49:45 No.486670388 >>486675175 >>486675510 >>486677341 >>486677382 >>486664403 (OP). there's something deeply funny about the idea of this guy panicking when he realizes she's not dying, then deciding to just finish the job himself via strangulation "ah f---, what do I do now....guess I gotta strangle this bitch" it's some straight up looney tunes s--- ☐ Anonymous (ID: s0b2X9nY) 11/02/24(Sat) 18:22:19 No.486675274 >>486664403 (OP) >And this is Frank, he will strangle you to death with his big muscular hands if the nitrogen doesn't work. ☐ Anonymous (ID: JvDuqtwx) 11/02/24(Sat) 19:12:12 No.486677799 >>486664403 (OP). >tfw my hecking wholesome futuristic assisted unaliving operation is just the doctor's personal choke people to death legally fetish ☐ Anonymous (ID: G42wFaia) 11/02/24(Sat)21:16:14 No.486683577 >>486664403 (OP) >Australian-born Dr Philip Nitschke Aussies always troll.

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Bedshit Infamies | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 11/02/24(Sat)14:12:20 No.79328438 330 KB PNG >Be me >Last night >I'm making out with big dicked chad >He proceeds to f--- me in the ass >FeelsGoodMan.jpeg >Wake up to my alarm before he c--- in me >Realise I was having a gay wet dream >Realise I shat all over my bed At least I didn't fail no nut November yet. 83

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The Irish connection | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: m31c1n8p 10/20/24(Sun)22:00:20 No.485416659 11° 10° 9° 8° 7° 6° 55° Letterkenny DONEGAL Lifford Donegal ATLANTIC OCEAN Ballyshannon Carndonagh Buncrana Londonderry NORTHERN IRELAND (U.K.) Belfast SCOTLAND (U.K.) Ballycastle Sligo Dromahair Monaghan Belmullet 8 SLIGO Ballina LEITRIM MONAGHAN 54° Carrick-on Dundalk Cavan MAYO Boyle Shannon Castlebar CAVAN LOUTH IRISH SEA Westport ROSCOMMON LONGFORD Claremorris Drogheda Baltinglass Longford MEATH Skerries Roscommon WESTMEATH Trim 2 Clifden Tuam Mullingar Athlone Swords GALWAY Athenry Maynooth Dublin Ballinasloe Edenderry Galway Ballyvaghan Tullamore Naas 3 Bray OFFALY Loughrea KILDARE Birr .Gort 53° IRELAND LAOIGHIS Portlaoighise WICKLOW Wicklow Ennistimon' Nenagh Ennis Carlow Arklow CLARE TIPPERARY NORTH RIDING CARLOW Kilkee Shannon Kilkenny Limerick KILKENNY LIMERICK TIPPERARY Listowel SOUTH RIDING Newcastle Clonmel Tralee Charleville Enniscorthy WEXFORD New Wexford Ross Rosslare Kanturk Dingle 52° Mallow Waterford WATERFORD KERRY Killarney CORK Dungarvan Cahersiveen Blarney Cork Kenmare Youghal Cobh Bandon, Kinsale Key to numbered Counties 1 DUBLIN COUNTY BOROUGH 2 DUBLIN-FINGAL 3 SOUTH DUBLIN 4 DUN LAOGHAIRE-RATHDOWN Castletownbere Bantry Clonakilty Skibbereen CELTIC SEA 0 20 30 40 mi 60 km 2007 Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc. Ireland.gif 589 KB GIF >Hundreds of years of history >Only contributions to society are alcoholism, violence, and a global plague of ginger people What is wrong with this island?

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Anon thinks he’s Big Boss | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 111 KB JPG 11/02/24(Sat) 14:17:00 No.79325937 >be me >light up a c-------- >as the smoke rises, get that rush - think I'm Snake >gravelly inner monologue kicks in, voice drops an octave >"Kept you waiting, huh?" whisper to no one in particular >scan the room like I'm on a covert mission, everyone's a potential target >take a long drag, eyes narrowed, feel the adrenaline >start moving like I'm sneaking around, hiding behind corners in plain sight >some dude gives me a weird look >"civilian. doesn't know I'm on a mission," mutter under my breath >finish the c--------, feel the Snake fading >walk away, mission complete Next time, I'll be ready

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