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What does this even mean | /r/Greentext
Uploaded by Reddit Moments Oct 21, 2024 at 07:20PM EDT
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![File: uno.jpg (7 KB, 500x500) UNO Uno Anonymous 10/21/24(Mon) 18:36:19 No.926294728 [Reply] >>926295020 >>926295165 I hate this game so f------ much. >Be me >At college party >All either drunk or high >Everyone wants to play Uno >I've never played Uno >Tell them and they all just laugh >Most instruction I got was "It's f------ Uno" >They start without explaining anything >My turn >Everyone is talking and not paying attention >thefuckdoido.jpg >Throw down a random card and go to the bathroom hoping they'll just move on before I get back >Return to a room full of people laughing so hard they can't stand >People are crying and falling off of their chairs and off the sofa >"Anon what the f---?" (same guy that said it's f------ uNo) between tears from laughing so hard >Say that I should probably just not play >They beg me to keep playing but still no one tells me how to play >My turn again, not sure what to do and they're all watching me intently >Throw down a random card that just happens to be the same color as what it was supposed to be >They all cheer like I figured it out >Still no idea what I'm doing >My turn is coming up again >Act like I have an assignment due the next day and leave party early >Get home and google the rules >You just match the colors and numbers Really? That's all they had to say? >It's f------ Uno F--- me.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/930/399/54b.png "Anon tries a new game | /r/Greentext")
![File: 1474885625692.jpg (39 KB, 509x619) ☐ times where you have almost made it Anonymous 03/09/17(Thu)11:23:00 No.40643882 [Reply] >>40644281 >>40644891 >>40643911 >>40643931 >>40643932 >>40643942 >>40643946 >>40644094 >>40644105 >>40644114 >>40644126 >>40644145 I am considering to renovate my apartment just to distract me from being myself /fit/ >visiting female friend I have known for many years >do friend stuff, nothing fancy >plan was that I stay the night if it gets too late >oh boy I have prepared myself so long for this >clean shaven, got my best cologne out and even bought a nice new tracksuit to hang around at her place (we are long past gone the point where we pretend to not be hobo-tier while being at home ) >at night >we go to sleep and browse s--- on our phones >could clearly see her miring when I got out of the shower before bed >I have lifted so long for this very moment >decide to be bold it's now or never >"hey wanna have sex?" >ALPHA AS F--- this is my new me >she puts phone down and smirks "uhm haha what? I mean yea sure why not" >stare at her for 5 seconds >bros you can't imagine how long 5 seconds can be >autism spike >look at her and say "yea well I didn't expect that answer" >silence >she looks at me for a few seconds clearly expecting me to make a move >she eventually rolls over with her back to me and gets back on her phone >don't talk or even mention it next morning Hold me, /fit/. Please hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/929/964/061.png "Weaponized autism | /r/Greentext")
![File: N-008.png (283 KB, 523x567) HAN RED WHITE &BIL PARACH Anonymous 03/24/17(Fri)11:29:31 No.726714895 [Reply] > be me > be in 2003 > firework night > britfag celebration of the torture of a catholic > Uncle reveals he's attached mice/guinea pigs to the rockets along with makeshift parachutes > fireworks start going off > no mice survive > wholesome family tradition begins > be one year later > more mice > family compete to see who can make the best parachutes > no mice survive > be in 2008 > first successful landing > first firework day trophy is awarded to my sister > still no survivors though > baby steps > be in 2010 > first survivor touches down > big celebration > we begin breeding the mice to save money > survivor is used as stud to selectively breed an ubermaus race of rocket riders > be in 2011 > we are getting good at this > survival rate has reached ~5 per year > survivors are sent back up > clearly they are the best specimens > need to stay competetive to win the trophy and newly introduced monetary prize > be in 2015 > great year for rocket riders > 11 survive >mfw I still haven't won a trophy > pic related](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/929/749/175.png "Anon makes paratroopers | /r/Greentext")
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![File: 0a2d157d97e93cfe5229fab48(...).jpg (61 KB, 793x786) Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)15:01:35 No.878076304 >>878076342 >>878076436 >>878078208 >>878078713 >>878080105 >>878081141 >>878083056 Feels thread. I f----- up bad. I need to know I'm not alone right now. Thread theme https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwgKmIBNt4Y [Embed] >> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)15:02:21 No.878076342 ► >> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)15:03:30 No.878076426 ► >>> Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)15:03:40 No.878076436 ► >> Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri) 15:11:34 No.878076836 >>878076937 >>878076979 >>878077130 >>878077288 >>878077512 >>878077540 >>878080105 >>878080162 >>878083182 >>878083385 >>878083469 >>878083533 >>878083564 File: 00c560958c2db19d268adf933(...).jpg (47 KB, 548x389) DUDE WHAT >>878076836 You can't make this s--- up >we had been flirting on and off for months by this point I figured it was a sure thing Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)17:29:13 No.878084359 ► File: Elpym 4W4AEq9Sx.jpg (57 KB, 693x960) >I ask her why not >"I'm not into bigger guys. No offense but I feel like you could crush me if you wanted to" >"No I couldnt" Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)15:13:24 No.878076937 ► >>878077144 >>878076836 i dont even know how to process that >>878076342 >be me >Yes you could >My autism kicks in and I decide to prove that I wasnt that big >I push her on the ground (playfully) and kind of lay on her (keep in mind we were both clothed in our work uniforms by this point) >Apparently she really couldnt breath and she starts screaming and yelling for help. >Autistic as f--- Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)15:14:17 No.878076979 >>878077144 File: yikes pepe.gif (1.34 MB, 568x396) >>878076836 >have crush on cute coworker at my birger flipping job >we're both close to the same age, only a few years difference between us (i'm 26 and she's 17) >finally work up the courage to tell her how I feel since I'm going home from uni next week >"Anon, you're okay but I'm not interested" I just spread out over her more >Boss and several coworkers come over and tell me to get off of her but because of the commotion it didn't register what they were saying >finally get off when my boss kicks my ribcage Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)15:16:47 No.878077130 ► >>878078436 File: aBOVIYZW_700w 0.jpg (38 KB, 669x670) >my coworker is struggling to breathe and says that I "collapsed her lungs" whatever that means. >boss sent me home early but took me off the schedule for the rest of the week and I know the girl talked to a police officer later that night How screwed am I b/ros? It was an honest mistake. I'm a diagnosed autistic, could that help lessen my charges? I genuinely thought she was into me and was just playing around. 14 TO Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)17:07:31 No.878083182 File: 1648443793113.jpg (174 KB, 570x424) LIVE TUCKER REACTION Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)16:53:18 No.878082389>>878082439 >>878082616 >>878083665 >>878083778 can someone screencap this thread >>878076836 Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)16:54:20 No.878082439 >>878082616 >>878082389 put me in the screencap >>878076836 > This n---- f------ crushed a bitch That's retarded. I'm laughing, very hard, at the thought of you just randomly f------ laying on top of someone and squishing them for no reason, but it's also really f------ stupid. And not how people act. My brother was on the spectrum, I've known other people that were, and they never did stuff like that. Live & learn and don't go full retard again. Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)16:34:35 No.878081409>>878081571 >>878081696 >>878081974 >>878081982 >>878082066 >>878083253 File: 0ae69e588416a106a7c848f5a(...).jpg (21 KB, 400x388) Guys, I'm really stressed about this after what you're all saying. There's no way I actually go to prison for this, right? I've already peed like ten times in the past hour. I should've never made this stupid thread I figured someone had been in a similar situation and could offer some condolences, but I feel worse now than when I started. >I know I f----- up >I know what I did was wrong >I don't think I'm a monster and it was an honest mistake If you don't have anything nice to say don't say it. Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri) 16:53:49 No.878082410 >>878082577 >>878083193 File: 00e4c3ca016fc495eeff1de85(...).jpg (60 KB, 999x827) >>878082066 I'm going now. I'm going to play some Payday 2 and drink myself to sleep tonight. I genuinely didn't think what I did was that bad... Autism Is A Hell Of A Drug Calm Down op you'll survive but hot damn dude think before you act](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/598/462/255.jpg "Anon has a crush | /r/Greentext")
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