Outmaneuver | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

AFRIQUE Anonymous 07/17/24(Wed)19:18:46 No.16861920 Robert Lefevre - Portrait of Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821) 1809 - (MeisterDrucke-104595).jpg 212 KB JPG >France's greatest ruler is an Italian man

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon wants to know why orcs didn't do the deed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 384 KB JPG 09/20/24(Fri)13:13:22 No.203715503 >Orcs finally capture Galadriel >she is known to have killed 100000 orcs >they treat her extremely well Wouldn't they realistically gang-r--- her? I mean, I don't even think Adar could stop them. Men in war have r---- women for much less. Anonymous >>203715503 (OP) # 09/20/24(Fri)13:15:55 No.203715564 Isn't she a politically valuable prisoner? Can't r--- your bargaining chip. At most they could undress and humiliate her. >>203715588 # >>203715965 # >>203716778 # >>203717578 # >>203718098 # >>203718357 # >>203719048 # >>203728891 # >>203732620 # Anonymous >>203715564 # Why not? 09/20/24(Fri)13:16:59 No.203715588 I think there was another canonically important elf lady who was strongly implied having been r----. >>203717428 # >>203717564 # >>203718350 # >>203726190 #

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Men of Steel | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)15:50:05 No.16288185 RF IT'S NERF OR NOTHIN' or nothin.jpg 347 KB JPG >told to avoid microplastics >it's in the air >food >water >been around since plastic was a thing The f--- do I do then? Be on a dialysis machine to filter out the plastic for the rest of my life? Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)16:00:15 No. 16288191 >>16288185 (OP) # Apparently donating blood reduces the amount of micro plastics in your blood, so you could do that >>16288205 #

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Tipping Culture Clash | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Greatest country ever 02/01/23(Wed)23:25:32 No.177327436 coulent soutent soulent >you Untitled7_20230201231313.png 2.21 MB PNG WILL leave me a tip >it IS mandatory >it is NOT a reward for excellent service >my boss DOES NOT pay me a proper wage >i WILL ruin your meal >i CANNOT pay my rent without tip >that IS your problem >i WILL call you cheap >i WILL call you greedy >i AM entitled to your money Call us Europoors all you want your mandatory tipping culture is as popular as hemorrhoids Tip is a reward for excellent service not mandatory ps udo wage because you cant pay your f------ bills (and before you ask yes i am waiter as well)

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Anon watches Breaking Bad | /r/Greentext

le: crying_jesse_pinkman_wojak.png (67 KB, 960x730) SIC BI >>203723644 ☐ Anonymous 09/20/24(Fri)23:28:39 No.203723296 >has been selling crystal meth for numerous years >scams a dying man out of several thousand dollars to spend on booze, drugs and cheap w----- >blackmails his own parents after they kick his ass out of a house he doesn't own to get the house back >constantly takes advantage of his two friends who genuinely care about him >breaks his girlfriend, a recovering addict's, sobriety >decides to stick by a man who threatened to kill another man's family, while he was there no less >commits cold-blooded murder >attempts to sell drugs to recovering addicts >breaks into a man's house intent on burning it down, leaving him, his wife and child homeless because said man DIDN'T kill some kid he barely knows >but it's all okay because sometimes he goes "WA WA I FEEL BAD FOR WHAT I DID! I'M GONNA KEEP DOING IT BUT I'M NOT HAPPY WAAAAAA!!!" Is there a bigger group of actual f------ retards than Jesse Pinkman sympathisers? This isn't even all of it.

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Zoomer Spaghetti Survival Guide | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 0b8h72ub)= CNBC CNBC-9) The budget breakdown of a 25-year-old who makes $100,000 a year and is excellent with money, via @CNBCMakelt cnb.cx/2EzW058 Typical Monthly Spending: $2,775 make it 01/10/24(Wed)10:47:31 No.454699519 Is financial independence impossible in this day and age? Why are all young folks broke? 692 KB PNG Anonymous (ID: XWCPDV94) ⚫ 01/10/24(Wed)10:48:33 No.454699593 13 KB JPG >>454699519 (OP) # >dining out >$250 Why are these Zoomer retards not cooking their own meals if they are broke? >take some pasta >crack that s--- in half >place inside boiling water >scoop it out after a few mins >add tomato sauce onto it Thats literally all it f------ takes >>454699758 # >>454699869 # >>454699957 # >>454701090 # >>454701467 # >>454702848 # >>454706102 # >>454712861 # >>454712982 # >>454718891 # >>454726382 # >>454726550 #

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Anon should be euthanized for moral crimes | /r/Greentext

OP !SXvs.ZOEU2 11/24/18 (Sat) 15:38:36 No.39811023 >>39811095 >>39811139 >>39811155 >>39811365 >>39811380 >>39811899 >>39811960 >>39812302 >>39812374 >>39812713 >>39812959 >>39812978>>39813276 >be me >be out in deep woods of the Ozarks >have my mosin nagant that i had with me for a long time >it's rusted badly after accidentally dropping it in the river but retrieved it and cleaned it up so it's clean and safe to shoot in my opinion >be wearing nothing but boots, blue jeans and a wife beater's shirt >hidden beside a giant rock and some trees and overlooking the river >see a pack of deer come by and see a buck nearby one of them >pick my rifle up and take aim but can't hit the buck since the f----- was behind a tree and a crowd of other does >decide to kill me a female deer instead >take aim at the biggest one >pull trigger >BOOM >the rest scatter and the one i hit fell and got up and gallop down the river side then fell several feets away making loud deer noise >f------ ears hurt and unload my spent surplus round >make my way over to the dying deer and was about to shoot it's head >see it's vagina >get tempted and feel my erection build up >goddamnit >try and resist but the curiosity got the betterment of me and i decided to drop my pants and boxer while holding my rifle on one hand >get on my knees and press my d--- up against it's p---- >it kicks it's legs and yelps so i ended up headbutted the deer in the head with my rifle and it stopped and just shook from nerve shock instead >slide my d--- in and started to f--- the deer >holy f--- I'm actually f------ a deer >proceed to do this for 10 minutes straight till i cummed inside >did it again and cummed again inside >by this point the vagina was cold and i pulled my d--- out >it felt f------ good >go by the river and wash my crotch with natural water and pull myself together >field dress the deer and drag it back to the cabin and proceed to take the meat and cook me deer steak and saved the rest in a freezer >enjoyed my time in the cabin as i ate the rest of the meat and return to town And that is how my hunting trip went.

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Woppa Birth Rate Style | /r/Greentext

An South Korea's birth rate is 0.81 South Korea's birth rate is 0.(...) 03/29/24(Fri)12:20:20 No.463319083 0.81 births per woman (2021) discuss 103 KB PNG Anonymous (ID: NShKzXb9) [❤] >>463319083 (OP) # woppa gangnam style 03/29/24 (Fri)12:21:46 No.463319209

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The power of imagination | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 524 KB PNG >ask her out 08/14/23(Mon)01:25:25 No.71931404 >be me, 25 year old, decide to turn my life around >start hitting the gym for 9 months, to the point where I can squat 85kg for 5 reps, deadlift 100kg, bench 90kg >20 year old girl at my gym looking at me >over the next months find out she has a crazy imagination, we start playing in the woods in makeshift tree house >we imagine we're fighting dragons, throwing grenades blowing up monsters etc. >work out together every day >one day she texts me "anon do you want to go to our castle today?" >had done like 5 supersets of hammer curls and dumbbell curls so text her I was too f----- up to go with her >evening comes and police officer shows up at my door >"sir are you an acquaintance of anonette?" >freaking out, say yes >"she fell down a creek and drowned in a river in the forest, must have hit her head, it was painless" >I'm broken >attending funeral >her dad tells me "anon, anonette didn't have many friends at school or college and you were always there for her. You were her favorite person" >He's choking behind tears and I'm trying to hold my tears, they start streaming down my face, leave the funeral a crying mess >haven't lifted since, it's been a month, I'm already getting fat, no motivation knowing I've failed and she's gone forever >lifting gains evaporated overnight >nothing left to lift for even though know she would have wanted me to keep going >I can't turn back time, can't stop death, can't bring her back >so hopeless I barely get out of bed anymore

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Anon goes on a cruise | /r/Greentext

VIKING LINE >Be at Swedish ship cruise >haven't defecated in a week week >s--- at least three giant python in the toilet >try to flush >not working.jpg >panic > try to flush again but s--- doesn't flush >look for a cleaner lady in the hallway >Swedish is really bad so grab the hand of cleaner, and take her to the bathroom >try to flush and say "titta"(watch in english) while push flush button >s--- goes quite normally away to sewer

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At your own perro | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Moments that made you re-evalu(...) 08/21/23(Mon)09:38:51 No.74463671 804 KB PNG >be me >us army, 2019/2020, infantryman >deployed to afghanistan >one day we're just moving in a convoy, couple of green beret guys, mostly just cav scouts and some infantry >green beret guys in front suddenly start yelling, stops the entire convoy >f------ hop out and look over to the distance >there's some random afghani guy walking with a dog >thefuckarewestoppingfor.mp3 >one of the green berets decides to turn the dog into pink mist, watched the afghani lose his s--- before shooting at him and leaving him to die >everybody in the convoy thinks its the funniest s--- ever >realize the army may not be for me

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Anon Hates Rick and Morty | /r/Greentext

File: Ricky-and-Morty-Justin-Ro(...).jpg (126 KB, 1500x1000) ☐ Anonymous 09/19/24(Thu)17:33:03 No.203675485 >>203675523 >>203676020 >>203676041 >>203676085 >>203676185 >>203676241 >>203676242 >>203676260 >>203676344 >>203676531 >>203677359 >>203678584 >>203678866 Redditors: Rick and Morty is one of the smartest shows I've ever seen! Rick and Morty: >I'm Farts McGee hoo hoo >Don't come near me I'm Farts McGee >I'm gonna do a big fart ooh wee hoo hoo >sometimes I do a big fart but sometimes it's just a small fart >I'm Mr Farty Pants McGee I'm gonna get you with my fart breath wooooo >LOOK OUT MORTY, IT'S FART UMM FARTS MCGEE. HIS FARTS ARE REALLY POWERFUL MORTY DON'T GET TOO CLOSE >ooh i'm gonna get you. I'm Farts McGee. I'm also Piss McGee ooh I'm gonna piss and fart and s--- because I'm also Mr Farty Piss S----- Poo Poo Pants oooh weee ☐ Anonymous 09/19/24(Thu)18:22:05 No.203676070 File: Rick vs Xavier.jpg (145 KB, 1402x736) the virgin cartoon THE CHAD COMPOSITION Uses depression as a cheap excuse for forced drama. Uses juvenile nihilism as an excuse for lack of effort Forgettable and trendy memefest Derivative, noodle- limbed artstyle, reeks of CalArts peers Too afraid to completely step outside of it's status quo. Main character defeats challenges through mind- blowing philosophical insights Extremely quotable and memorable dialogue. Flanderization. Forces memes all the time. Overstays it's welcome Completely unpredictable Style so avant-garde it makes Formulaic predictability becomes even more noticeable on rewatches. Poses questions to challenge the fabric of human nature ~ "We gotta *burp* ..we-we- we gotta go to space Morty" Explores dozens of different themes every episode without spoonfeeding you anything Gradually lost momentum and will only get worse as it continues. Fanbase full of edgy manchildren who feel persecuted. "Imao everyone is dumb but me wake up sheeple" سر Profound characterizations Only true patricians can appreciate it TASTE THE PAIN! normies and art thots implode Destroys the fabric of reality in every episode. Multiple viewings are obligatory to try and comprehend it. It's actually funny. Lasts exactly for as long as it needs to. Leaves a profound mark in it's viewers despite short length. Genuinely educating in it's subject matter, >> Anonymous 09/19/24(Thu)18:23:15 No.203676085 >>203675485 (OP) I refused to watch the show after he got unjustly fired ☐ Anonymous 09/19/24(Thu)18:32:59 No.203676185 ► >>203675485 (OP) >People s--- on Rick and Morty because of Roiland >>203676549 >Roiland hasn't been a writer for the show since season 2 >It's universally agreed that R&M turned to s--- after season 2 He was the heart and soul of the show. ☐ Anonymous 09/19/24(Thu)21:55:07 No.203678540 >G-gee Rick I-I just have this bad feeling th-that I'm voiced by a P--------- i-it's just this sinking feeling y'know th-that I can't shake I-I-just really think the guy th-that voices me grooms children aww man >WE ALL AR-*burp*E MORTY WE'RE ALL VOICED BY A PAEDOPHILES IT'S THE ADULT CARTOON BIZ MORTY THINK ABOUT IT YOU GOT ADULT *burp* AND YOU GOT CARTOONS, KIDS ADULTS AND KIDS MORTY IT'S A CLASSIC P--------- COMBINATION WHY WOULDN'T WE BE VOICED BY CHIL-CHILD MOLESTERS IT'S OVBIOUS TH-THESE GUYS NEVER GREW UP TH-THAT'S WHERE THE ATTRACTION STEMS MORTY M-MENTALLY THEY'RE ALL STUCK IN HIGH SCHOOL *burp* N-NOW GIVE THEM A LITTLE POWER AND OH BOY YEAH THEY DO A NUMBER ON THE CHILDREN *burp*

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We cant win nothing Anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/20/24(Fri)15:28:13 No.78869298 Velssy Nyan I don't care about height. I am 5'7 as long as he's not 5'5 and below. 1000090463.png 38 KB PNG >I don't care about a man's height! >Also don't be under a certain height Damn 5 Replies View Thread

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