I just wanted some pumpkin spiced coffee | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 9/15/2024, 1:50:52 PM No.97576435 2582 KB JPEG > Go to a local cafe to support local businesses (doing my part) > Orders a pumpkin latte > The barista drops it while they were handing it to me > Apparently that was the last of the pumpkin sauce they had > Gets normal coffee > Go to another place to get lunch with my normal coffee on hand > Waiter looks at my coffee cup and says they found rat s--- in the coffee beans there before and to avoid the place > Maybe this is why local businesses are dying

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Anonymous 03/16/23(Thu)14:34:40 No.92128194 File: Alpha and his watch.png (1.59 MB, 1102x1190) >>92118515 (OP) >be me >buy casio f91w watch >only $10, such a steal >wear it everywhere >people ask "is that a rolex?" >nah bro, it's a casio f91w >they look disappointed > little do they know, it's the real flex >accidentally drop it, still works >try to scratch the screen, impossible >it's like a little tank on my wrist >even have a stopwatch, so fancy >forget to take it off in the shower, no problem >water-resistant af >never taking this bad boy off >Casio F91W gang for life

File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

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Nice psyops Vlad, but I aint gonna be Putin's cannon fodder thank you very much | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Reason to move to russia 49 KB JPG 09/16/24(Mon)03:33:59 No.78821522 >Did you know there is no law against kidnapping asians by simply picking them up and bringing them home in russia as long as you let them go within 2 days and dont do anything illegal to them? >Did you also know that patting isn't considered sexual assault there? This means you can legally kidnap asian girls, lock them up in your basement, pat them on the head and talk to them for almost 2 days, release and than do it again with no legal consequences? View Thread

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The 1957 Cadillac Eldorado Brougham | /r/Greentext

IMG_2499.jpg 25 KB JPG >Be me >Friends with an Indian coworker >The 2 of us have an unhinged sense of humor >See him bald one day at work >Ask him if he's got cancer >Bro says his grandfather died ?????

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A Descent into Madness | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Heath ledger's joker diary(...) 07/03/24(Wed)12:01:05 No.200828481 THINGS THAT MAKE ME LAUGH Blind babies Land mines AIDS Beloved pets in road accidents. Statistics Pencil Cases BRUNCH! The periodic table YOU HAVE UNTIL MIDNIGHT TO CHANGE YOUR MIND, FRANCIS IF YOU DON'T YOU'LL BE THE POOREST FISH OF ALL-- of elements --AND DEAD AS A MACKEREL! HAH HAHAH Like a grub growing all wrong in a tiled cocoon, like a caterpillar liquefying to filth in its own nightmares, or a fetus dissolving in sewage and sour milk, the Joker dreams, awake. His is the mal ojo, the evil eye. He wills Death upon the world. Bowel cancer. Fish being gutted. Mister Ed. Guns in schools. Cripples. Racism. Breathing slowly in his bright and boundless Hell, the Clown Prince of Cruelty dreams a new face, a new world, a Year Zero. An unforgettable golden age of blood-red comedy and crime! Alzheimer's. The mosquito, meanwhile, gets the message, shudders and falls from the Joker's hand. Blind and crippled, it spins in circles on the radiant floor, choking on tainted blood. The-Dark-Knight-Heath-Ledger-s-Joker-Diary-4~2.jpg 205 KB JPG >Oh no I spent 30 days in a hotel room in going literally insane!!! Why are normals so cringe?

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The Appeal of Batman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.81 MB JPG 03/31/24(Sun)15:58:39 No. 197795258 Is batman a vigilante or what a woman would describe as their realistic dream man? Tell me the appeal of batman. >He knows everything about all academic fields >He knows all fighting styles >He can make any gadget by himself including vehicles and aircrafts. >He's the mysterious introvert type in costume but Chad playboy out of it >He's supposedly handsome >He's super rich >He's a trust fund baby so old money >If he wants to, he can kill everyone in the Justice League >He's dark, stoic and unexpressive but actual soft, feels deeply and is hopeful >He lives in a literal castle

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Anon wants the walkable city experience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Anons Living in Walkable Citie(...) 1.08 MB JPG >go outside 09/09/24(Mon) 14:20:18 No.2017733 Sup, hoes. Where do Anons that want the walkable city experience live? I am a software engineer, young guy, looking to grow my career so it has to be a city that at least has a tech sector. I currently live in the 'burbs and it's f------ dogshit. >WFH >get in car >come back >get in house >go outside later to walk the dog >only children playing and parents outside >people my age only leave their house to get in their cars and despawn from the map >feels like nobody really lives here, just come to die >everybody in their pod home >I just want to live in a place where I can walk to most places and see my neighbors doing the same. > I just want to live in a place where some dumb roastie on her phone can't dictate how quickly I can reach my destination. > I just want to live in a place where I don't have to sit at a red light for 3 minutes when I'm THE ONLY CAR ON THE ROAD >I just want to live in a place where I can walk to a bar and actually recognize the people there, like my cute neighbor > I just want to live in a place where I can walk or bike to places. I know you f---- all avoid homeless, libtards, and nignogs, so how are you guys liking living in these areas where these people are rampant, but you get to experience the walkable city life? If I have to live another year in a lonely suburb as a young guy looking to have fun ima blow my brains out so how the f--- do anons deal with living in a place like NYC with all the s--- that comes with it? Considering the move bros...

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Anon works at a fast food joint | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 3kT6tiGw) 08/09/14(Sat) 14:01:04 No.561419596 >>561420141 >>561420292 >>561420312 I have a story of a whale that f---- me off everytme I see these stupid tumblr idiots. >Be me >Couple years ago at work >working at locally owned burger joint >Actually really enjoy it >Gets pretty busy sometimes >First day I worked there it was so packed/stressful I felt like I was crammed in a tin of sardines >Only me and another guy work most days >He's about 6"3 DYEL lanklet mode >Apparently a "Skilled musician" >He could be a huge hit with ladies if it wasn't for his negative attitude >I think he's awesome but I think he deeply hates me >Anyway boss is a huge d--- >Crabby old man >Greedy as f--- too >Very angry/High blood pressure >I could swear when he's angry he goes as red as a tomato >One day he brings his "pride and joy" into work >mfw he meant his daughter >She waddles through the door "Hey guys" >mfw she's literally a f------ whale >Like literally I think she weighs almost a ton >Laughing internally >She comes in and makes small talk with me after an hour or so >Tells me how she's a cheerleader and whatnot > brush it off as casual talk because chicks usually hit on my masterrace lanklet co-worker >Few days pass and she comes in again to talk to me somewhat ignoring my friend >Anyway weeks go by and this continues on >Until that fateful day (Cont.) Anonymous (ID: 3kT6tiGw) 08/09/14(Sat) 14:05:47 No.561420292 ►>>561420639 >>561420917 >>561421492 >>561423872 >>561424060 >>561425689 >>561426065 >>561426751 >>561427662 >>561419596 (cont.) >She asks me to come around the back (Where we keep some of the ingredients) >Grabs my hand >"I know you want me, I know the way you looked at me when I first walked in." >Vomitted in my mouth a little >Nope'd right the f--- outta there >Tried to tell my boss about it >Spent 30 minutes trying to convince him that she pulled this s--- on me >He wouldn't believe his little girl would do such a thing >Lost it at this point >Started swearing alot cause i was p----- >"Me daughter wouldn't do such a thing, aye swear on me life." >I replied "F--- you, you Irish f---! that whale needs to be put on a leash." >He loses it >I swear his eyes are popping out of his head and he's red as f--- >Fires me over some whale >No f---- given >Have to walk home cause I have no drivers license >End up going Jellyfishing with Patrick later that day >mfw

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What would Anon do in this situation? | /r/Greentext

>early morning >wake up >go into bathroom half awake to take a piss >notice you're pissing on yourself for some reason >look down >notice you have t--- now and your c--- is now a c--- >freakout.gif >hear strange voice in your head >"Calm down anon, it's me, God. I turned you into female for 24 hrs as punishment for saying n----- too much on the internet. Hopefully you'll learn your lesson after this." Wat do with this newly acquired body /pol/? Anonymous (ID: KD7/16mG) >>479929105 (OP) # 08/29/24(Thu)00:10:47 No.479929213 Say the "n-----" word live on all social medias for 24 hours until I change back. >>479929350 # >>479929888 #

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Anon trusted in Indonesian package delivery. | /r/Greentext

File: Indonesian package delive(...).png (703 KB, 534x535) Anonymous 09/24/16(Sat) 19:16:35 No.705232816 ►>>70. >>705234753 >>705234776 >>705234796 >>705234929 >>705235166 >>705 I can't even make a joke about this, it's just really sad >> Anonymous 09/24/16(Sat) 19:17:01 No.705232850 >>705232816 (OP) get cucked Anonymous 09/24/16(Sat) 19:17:36 No.705232894 ► ≥ >>705232816 (OP) STAR698 >> le: untitled.jpg (65 KB, 800x450) 11 C >>705232816 (OP) c'mon op is not that bad >>705233161 keksimus maximus >>705233161 Kek No.705233161 >>705233237 >>705233245>>705233266 >>705233276 >>705233292 >>705233317>>705233390 >>705233505 >>705234075 >>705234642 >>705234723 >>705234821 >>705234912 >>705234945 >>705235019 *478 >>705235542 >>705235620 >>705235668 >>705235733 >>705235964 >>705236115 >>705236183 >>705236348 >>705236434 (24/16(Sat) 19:20 so My god anon you ear -^ >>705233161 some 50 keks >>705233161 i lost

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Defend in Depth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.2 MB JPG 07/12/24(Fri)01:31:18 No.16277543 >be a woman >Marry up to competent borderline genius scientist (Pierre Curie) >Be his assistant in lab >He received nobel prize but was a complete cuck and forced Committee to give her nobel prize too >Work more as assistant of husband >Husband dies in car incident, but most of essential work is done >Complete the rest >Get nobel Wymen in science moment. And feminists call her icon of female superiority in science : Anonymous >>16277543 (OP) # 07/12/24(Fri)01:33:31 No.16277546 >Marie Curie is a DEI Nobel laureate Never change /sci/ >>16277560 # >>16277742 # >>16279549 # >>16283528 #

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An outside experience | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous JUST TOUCH GRASS BRO 39 KB PNG choosing signals 09/09/24(Mon)04:08:07 No.78749188 >decide to ditch dating apps and go outside to meet women >people suggested bars and clubs so I went to a bunch >every time I go it's just the same experience >everyone else is with their own little groups talking amongst themselves >no girls even look at me or give >try approaching a girl and it's clear she wants nothing to do with me, other men become hostile and tell me to go away >go back home after wasting $30 on beer I think this is all b-------... if girls don't give you signals at bars and clubs they ain't gonna give you signals anywhere else in real life. This is why I started using dating apps in the first place

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It's over dwarfcels. | /r/Greentext

And what gift would a Dwarf ask of the Elves? anilion (IG Nothing. Except to look upon the lady of the Galadhrim one last time... ...for she is more fair than all the jewels beneath the earth. FfH_m4PXWAUMgoW.jpg 101 KB JPG >Seethes at Elves for 140 years >Catches the faintest whiff of Galadriel's elfussy >Immediately starts simping Are Dwarfcels really like this?

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Angry Bird | /r/Greentext

1717005606622980.jpg 311 KB JPG Oh you're looking for your bowling ball? Sorry bro idk where it could be

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