Anon goes through basic training | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 11/14/14(Fri)22:48:07 No.23601888 >>23801933>>23801938 >>23801046 >>23802000 >>23601711 >>23601742 Ok, moar Hummel >still basic training >kid gets chosen to read The Soldier's Creed in front of the entire company >kid can barely remember how to wipe his ass, much less recite a paragraph >he approaches the front of the formation, nervous and visibly sweating >i am pretty sure spaghetti began to manifest in his cargo pockets >he takes his position in front of the formation, everyone is standing tight at attention >he clears his throat, takes a deep breath >"THE ARMY CREED! >somehow manages to f--- it up by the second word >1SG is visibly upset, entire formation begins to smirk and chortle >he attempts it again >"THE SOLDIERS CREED!" >he proceeds to the second line, and falters yet again >this repeats for a solid 15 minutes >eventually one of the drill sergeants presents him with a handy notepad, with the creed written on it >f---- it up again, while reading it > eventually approaches the "I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy the enemies of the united states" part >says "I WILL EMPLOY THE ENEMIES OF THE UNITED STATES" >realizes his mistake, says "F---" out loud, then starts over >reaches the same point >"I WILL DESTROY THE UNITED STATES" >everyone is dying at this point >drill sergeant has dropped his military bearings and tripped on them >s--- turns to chaos >eventually gets it right, after a good hour or two >1SG makes him the Company Guide for having the balls to destroy the USA Anonymous 11/14/14(Fri)22:49:49 No.23601914 ► >>23601654 goddamn I'd recommend Hummel for OCS if it wouldn't be such a waste of a damn-fine enlisted man Anonymous 11/14/14(Fri)22:51:35 No.23601933 >>23801974 File: 1413368873966.jpg (116 KB, 673x1005) >>23601888 4SG makes him the Company Guide for having the balls to destroy the USA swear to god, we'll be reading about Hummel the supersoldier 10 years from now Anonymous 11/14/14(Fri)22:51:49 No.23601936 >>23801974 File: 3797567.jpg (33 KB, 623x556) >>23601888 >"I WILL DESTROY THE UNITED STATES"™ I'm drunk and this s--- is hilarious more pls Anonymous 11/14/14(Fri)22:52:26 No.23601946 ►>>23801974 >>23601888 >says "I WILL EMPLOY THE ENEMIES OF THE UNITED STATES" >realizes his mistake, says "F---" out loud, then starts over And this is the moment were my side dies.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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