anon suffers from success | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO ✓ 1720983562485195.jpg, 144KiB, 1280x1904 kinda bad' looksmaxxing made me incel Anonymous Tue 30 Jul 2024 16:54:53 No.78332553 View Report >be me, below average kid, late first kiss, late sex, late everything >but it happened >get into self improvement/lifting/sig by 19yo or so >rarely had girls speak to me, this decreases further >years pass, am big, have good job, go to all sorts of lengths to better my looks, good cologne, good clothes, good everything >all i get from that is being asked if im gay from time to time >cutie in the office talking to another female coworker >'imagine getting hit on by anon, id be scared, like actually uncomfortable' >self esteem is zero so i dont even take issue, just laugh it off and jokingly ask if i really am that bad >'no silly, youre just too much, i dont want to be with some ripped model, id feel >not english speakers but this is a rough translation >they laugh it off and go off topic do women really think this? it didnt seem like they were making fun of me. i have been approached by a few girls before, but strangely enough it all happened before i embarked on the whole looksmaxxing thing

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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anon thinks he's guts | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO berserk.jpg, 176KiB, 525x589 BRTH END Anonymous Sat 03 Aug 2024 21:47:14 No.78379457 View Report I f------ love Berserk. I don't know how to explain it but even though I have nothing in common with Guts I just feel like we're similarly f----- up. Miura must have had a very f----- up life to come up with some of this s--- and the way Guts' character arc goes mirrors a lot of my own life >Be 18 >In college >get first real girlfriend since middle school >She's cute, I knew her from highschool >apparently she had a thing for me for a while and was upset when I graduated because she thought she'd never see me again >pure bliss >she says she loves me >invites me over "My parents aren't home <3" >proceed to make out with a girl for the first time >she gives me the worlds worst h------, I don't even c-- >eat her out >a few weeks later >she calls my mom a bitch >claims I r---- her and got her pregnant >we never even had sex >give up on women >don't even talk to women for 8 years >drop out of school >get a paid internship at intel >work my ass off, get several fulltime long term contracts at intel >COVID sucked any social skills I had out of my brain, realize I pretty much had my mid 20's deleted for no real reason >I've been making s--- money for 7 years now barely scraping by > living with parents still, they're disabled and on a fixed income I've been taking care of them since I was 14 >neither of us can afford rent alone >opportunity comes up >job pays $120k/yr >It's in defense >that is 3 times what I make now >It is 500 miles away >I'd have to move but f--- it the money is too good >get the job >move, still paying parents rent, make sure they have everything they need >work in Singapore for 4 months >meet a girl >decide to give love another shot

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anons tenant fucks the air conditioner | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO air-conditioner-near-a-new-house (...).jpg, 231 KiB, 1024x683 Anonymous Sun 04 Aug 2024 20:22:13 No.78390297 >be me View Report >dad owns a rental property empire, 24 homes and some apartments >could basically live for free for the rest of my life but dad insists i 'learn the trade and earn my living', so i have to do house maintenance for all his houses >get a new tenant in one of our houses >morbidly obese man (fat people are good tenants because theyre mostly too lazy to call you about any problems) >two weeks into his lease >calls up and says his a/c is broken >old a/c unit, no surprise there >go there, just some dislodged wiring, figure an animal ran into it, it's an outside unit like pic related >fix it, easy peasy >two weeks later >he calls again >go over there >same problem >fix it again >another month goes past and he calls again >go over there and i'm very confused >all the wiring inside the unit is dislodged, as if someone has violently rattled the unit >still manage to fix it though >ask the tenant if he's heard anything outside at night >he tells me he hasnt heard anything >as i'm leaving a guy from the neighbouring house calls me over >"listen bud, this is going to sound strange... but that guy's been f------ the a/c unit" >obviously think this guy is crazy >he can tell so he pulls out his phone >shows me a video he took last night from his window of my tenant in the garden >the tenant is just aggressively humping up against the a/c unit, like he's making wild love to it >"not the first time i've seen him do it, but first time i recorded it, do you want me to send it to you?" >"no, that's okay..." >run to my car and drive away i've just parked in a mcdonalds parking lot and i'm not sure what i should do. my dad's old so i don't want to bother him with this, but i can't imagine talking to the guy about this. can i hire someone to deal with this??

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Anon dates blind girl | /r/Greentext

7 KB JPG >Dating a blind girl >All of her friends are blind >Love that she holds my arm when we're out >Love that she eventually got used to my apartment and can now navigate around by herself >Love that her guide dog is super friendly and is always on the job to help her. >Love that her family sees me as a great person because her being blind doesn't bother me >Love that she doesn't use the internet because it's too much hassle >Love that she requests I read new books for her in my voice and record them so she has her own boyfriend audiobook library.

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Anon is frustrated with modern technology | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 7ZPopz3E 648 KB GIF mikatoh 08/05/24(Mon)15:52:31 No.20920191 >Fail to install Xubuntu even though I followed all the instructions >PC gets blue screen of death after I tried to remove the drive partitions i created >iMessage on my iPhone says it it needs repair so I log out of it (a solution I read in a guide) I now cant access it because my authentication code is being sent to a dead phone number that my iPhone still thinks i use for some stupid reason and still sends peoples messages to The technology designed by humans is poorly designed in interface and utterly prone to failure in architecture. I hope artificial intelligence takes over and improves it into something dynamic and unfailing and kills the people who created such s--- software in the first place, I hope it showers California with nukes.

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Anon finds a 6-letter word for fun | /r/Greentext

2h (08/05/24 18:45) · 78403584 - 8 Re - 0 Img GIF 19KB (640 x 454) pepe-hooray.gif 3 Replies >be me >feeling a little down today >went to Barnes and Noble book store >sees a book with 600 word search puzzles >costs 8 dollars which is kinda a lot but I buy it anyway >does a few at home and it is very fun and satisfying >feels better Thanks book!

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anon goes through his sisters google cloud | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO ✓ P----------.jpg, 349KiB, 2555x1437 >normie woman moment >download the images off of google cloud >scroll down Anonymous Fri 26 Jul 2024 18:01:41 No.78287923 View Report >sister's phone got kill >she basically lost all pictures >some were saved by google cloud >asks me for help >sure whatever >thousands of pictures, screenshots, pictures of useless s---, etc. >scroll down >... >?! >What the... >pictures of a phone >p---------- >not hardcore but still more than vanilla >"A-Anon, you can skip those!" >ask her what the hell those are >"evidence against husband" >... >discuss about it >asks me whether it's normal her husband is viewing such things >well yes, but also no >asks me whether I do it too >... >explain to her that most men do it so it's pretty normal but it really shouldn't be normal in my opinion >etc. etc. >brought up examples of people me and her know who do the same Man... This was wild. I named some close relatives and told her to shut up about it. Hope she keeps the promise.

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Lesser of 2 Evils | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)13:42:10 No.201450691 IMG_3961.jpg 108 KB JPG >never made a retarded deal to sell his entire IP name >gets to make on cinema forever while sam cries that he can't use the million dollar extreme name anymore he won

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At least we get day one patches and apology letters | /r/Greentext

Anonymous LU.4 CARD 08/03/24(Sat)20:59:25 No.684536346 1998 TE 2001 30/61 t3.png 745 KB PNG >zoomers will never ever experience a true paradigm shift, true next generation leap in visuals It was so good to live back then zoombros, the skies seemed the limit

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Anon thought it was an apple | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Exact moment you became a robo(...) 42 KB JPG 08/28/17(Mon) 14:06:59 No.39366814 >halloween >some guy gives me a caramel apple >bite into it >it's actually a caramel onion >everyone laughing >am 5 >don't get the joke >happily eat my delicious candied onion >laughter turns to confusion >"that's an onion, buddy...." >"I like it!" >adults all visibly disappointed Fate's die was cast, Halloween 1995.

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Minecraft gives anon some friends | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 30 KB JPG >Be me, 12 05/18/19(Sat)09:18:40 No.800032420 >Be me >hey anon, it's minecraft's tenth anniversary! >immediately go home and redownload it on my computer >nostalgia.jpg >get a private message on Skype from my canadian buddy I met on a server >hey anon, it's so fun to play with you and I love your art. Do you wanna join a group I'm in to play with us and talk about graphic design? >YES PLEASE.jpg since I had barely any friends >talk with them for the first time >immediately become some of my best friends >the only ones who were there for me no matter what through years of depression >4 years of almost constant every day calls or games >look at the old dms on skype and discord >thank you minecraft for giving me such good friends and so many memories >I miss them sometimes, but we all have to grow up I guess I know I'm a day late but I just wanted to say this

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Anon finds that life is worth living | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 KB JPG 04/22/19(Mon) 19:13:12 No. 798004600 >be me >changed schools and locations at least a dozen times in my life >old friend invites me to his party >never been to a party before >but I havent seen him in so long >f--- it Im going >expect that Im gonna be a social stigma and talk to nobody >oh well >arrive at party >"ANON!" >everyone happy as f--- to see me >hugs on top of hugs on top of hugs from people I havent seen in years >they all missed me >I always thought I was a social outcast >smoking pot, getting drunk >flirting with girls that I used to think were way out of my league >vibing like there is no tommorow >3 am, crossfaded out of my mind >pass out on friend's floor >people actually like me >people actually enjoy my presence >feelsgoodman

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Anon meets a sandman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 247 KB JPG make it 08/03/24(Sat)09:57:03 No.78378471 >be me >sales guy for major corporation >go to saudi arabia on a business trip >either the food or the water didn't agree with me >get the mad s---- >close to the hotel, but no way I'll >rush into the nearest bathroom >public, but any port in a storm >in there for hours >sounds like the trenches of verdun down there >eventually hear a knock at the stall door >"we will never meet, but I believe in you brother" in a thick arabian accent we didn't meet again, but you've been in my mind ever since, strange sandman

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