At least we get day one patches and apology letters | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous LU.4 CARD 08/03/24(Sat)20:59:25 No.684536346 1998 TE 2001 30/61 t3.png 745 KB PNG >zoomers will never ever experience a true paradigm shift, true next generation leap in visuals It was so good to live back then zoombros, the skies seemed the limit

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon thought it was an apple | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Exact moment you became a robo(...) 42 KB JPG 08/28/17(Mon) 14:06:59 No.39366814 >halloween >some guy gives me a caramel apple >bite into it >it's actually a caramel onion >everyone laughing >am 5 >don't get the joke >happily eat my delicious candied onion >laughter turns to confusion >"that's an onion, buddy...." >"I like it!" >adults all visibly disappointed Fate's die was cast, Halloween 1995.

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Minecraft gives anon some friends | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 30 KB JPG >Be me, 12 05/18/19(Sat)09:18:40 No.800032420 >Be me >hey anon, it's minecraft's tenth anniversary! >immediately go home and redownload it on my computer >nostalgia.jpg >get a private message on Skype from my canadian buddy I met on a server >hey anon, it's so fun to play with you and I love your art. Do you wanna join a group I'm in to play with us and talk about graphic design? >YES PLEASE.jpg since I had barely any friends >talk with them for the first time >immediately become some of my best friends >the only ones who were there for me no matter what through years of depression >4 years of almost constant every day calls or games >look at the old dms on skype and discord >thank you minecraft for giving me such good friends and so many memories >I miss them sometimes, but we all have to grow up I guess I know I'm a day late but I just wanted to say this

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Anon finds that life is worth living | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 KB JPG 04/22/19(Mon) 19:13:12 No. 798004600 >be me >changed schools and locations at least a dozen times in my life >old friend invites me to his party >never been to a party before >but I havent seen him in so long >f--- it Im going >expect that Im gonna be a social stigma and talk to nobody >oh well >arrive at party >"ANON!" >everyone happy as f--- to see me >hugs on top of hugs on top of hugs from people I havent seen in years >they all missed me >I always thought I was a social outcast >smoking pot, getting drunk >flirting with girls that I used to think were way out of my league >vibing like there is no tommorow >3 am, crossfaded out of my mind >pass out on friend's floor >people actually like me >people actually enjoy my presence >feelsgoodman

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Anon meets a sandman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 247 KB JPG make it 08/03/24(Sat)09:57:03 No.78378471 >be me >sales guy for major corporation >go to saudi arabia on a business trip >either the food or the water didn't agree with me >get the mad s---- >close to the hotel, but no way I'll >rush into the nearest bathroom >public, but any port in a storm >in there for hours >sounds like the trenches of verdun down there >eventually hear a knock at the stall door >"we will never meet, but I believe in you brother" in a thick arabian accent we didn't meet again, but you've been in my mind ever since, strange sandman

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is it over? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/05/24(Mon) 17:46:26 No.78401500 >waist to hip ratio >0.79 >im a guy how over is it 199 KB JPG Anonymous 08/05/24(Mon) 17:48:21 No.78401516 w-- do you mean over? you can pick up a chair by the armrests with no hands, that is cool as hell my guy

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War of buzzwords | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: UfFSQpZf 07/31/24(Wed)00:36:43 No.476275266 NI taxi_driver_tomoko_by_kurokimoko_dfqyhOn-pre.jpg > KAMALA IS BRAT :000 83 KB JPG > REPUBLICANS ARE WEIRD ;D What the actual f--- is this election cycle COMP

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anon gets into trans asmr roleplay | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb Sauce NAO ✓ ninja.jpg, 92KiB, 1280x720 R Anonymous Fri 26 Jul 2024 04:59:02 No.78282521 View >be me >2 years ago Report >discover asmr when searching for sleep aids because of le insomnia >listen for a few nights >"girlfriend roleplay" starts appearing in my recommended LIVE >thefuckisthis.jpg >click >actually enjoy it >start listening to gf rp instead of normal asmr every night >actually addicted now >get curious one night, decide to search for boyfriend instead >mfw its even more comforting >mfw i larp as a small girl being comforted by her bf >mfw this has been my nightly routine for a year now is it over? im not even gay..

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Anon receives guidance | /r/Greentext

5h (7/6 19:44) · 71510310 JPG 43KB (1024 × 1024) 1613510906010.jpg 5 Replies back when I was first starting, like 4 months in >at my gym there was always this super jacked black guy that would put up huge numbers >everytime he's done with his set he yells out "0000000 BABY" >it was never obnoxious or anything, I found it funny >he catches me smirking at him after he did it once >he tells me that it helps with the next set >I laugh >a few weeks pass and I'm on a hard set of deadlifts >was still doing stronglifts so these are my max >push through them and for some reason yell out "000000 BABY" >I hear "DAS RIGHT" from across the gym >my next was easier Thank you jacked black man

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Not just the mayor. He’s also the undertaker. | /r/Greentext

78 KB JPG >Bourdain, August 2011: "I look at Guy Fieri and I just think, 'Jesus, I'm glad that's not me.' You work that hard and there's not a single show of yours that you'd want to sit down and say, 'Hey, I made that last week. Look at that camera work. It's really good, huh?" I'm proud of what I do." >Bourdain, September 2012: "I'm fascinated by the Guy Fieri terror-dome they just opened up. 600 seats, something like that? 600 seats. And a gift shop. And all of these poor diners, drives and whatever, douchebags waddle in there. First of all, he single handedly turned the neighborhood into the Ed Hardy district which I'm a little p----- off about..." >Fieri, October 2012: "Everybody's been asking me, 'What on earth are you going to say at Bourdain's roast? He's been s----talking your name everywhere.' And I've been saying, 'Don't you worry about me. I won't touch him with a 10-pole, because smack-talking Bourdain would be like hitting a piñata full of s---.' Real messy. I want everyone to understand that I'm going to be the bigger man. I'm going to take the high road. I wouldn't dare come up here and call Anthony Bourdain any of these things that people have called him: No-good, loud mouth, j------, wannabe authority, pseudo rebel, nerd, s----talking, blow hard, celebrity-seeking, Eric-Ripert coattail, Mario Batali ass-kissing hate monger... Jose Canseco of the food world, snaggle tooth, Lurch-looking m-----------. No, I'm here to take the high road." >Fieri, October 2012: "Anthony, I gotta ask a question, why do you hate me so much brother? ... Is it because you went to a fancy culinary school and I didn't? I hear you're the only one in class who did most of his cooking with a spoon and a Bic lighter."

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Anon can noclip through walls | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 30 KB JPG 01/19/23(Thu)13:45:52 No.33882070 >>33880489 (OP). You can noclip through walls. You first have to have 100% faith and run towards the wall. Even a little bit of doubt and it won't work. Go and run full speed into a wall and 100% it will work and it will. Done it several times. Pic related is me as prof Anonymous >>33882070 01/19/23(Thu)14:34:17 No.33882484 Just tried it and almost broke my neck. Kys Anonymous 01/19/23(Thu)14:36:43 No.33882502 >>33882484 Thats because you didn't have enough fait. I suggest trying it again and this time without any doubt.

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anon does something good for once | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO ✓ 7e7138e5c441c1c4845938fea986a76e.jpg, 73KiB, 550x550 what the f--- just happened to me Anonymous Sat 27 Jul 2024 19:32:08 No.78299602 View Report >be me a few years back, 14, stonned in a mall parking lot with two guys in their 20s >hear a kid crying, since I'm the youngest they ask me to go check on him >don't like kids but don't really care at this moment >talk to him, doesn't speak English, only Slovak, talk to him in Russian >don't understand half of what he says because of the language barrier and because of the kid crying >understand he is sad because he didn't get anything at the mall, and it just started closing >give him some s----- trinket I carried around with (most likely an anime keychain? don't remember) >his dad comes so I leave and go back to smoking weed with the guys still not sure what actually happened, never hallucinated before

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porn addict at a wedding | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO IMG_5265.png, 20KiB, 586x523 >across the room is a hot girl >this is my chance to escape the incel life >go up to her >she smiles >begin small talk >30 minutes pass and ask for her number >she gives it >good dream I just had Anonymous Tue 30 Jul 2024 14:19:16 No.78331217 View Report >be me >live with mom at 27 >stayed in my room for the last month >finally get a chance to escape the confinements of this hell hole >mom drives me and her to a wedding >I can't drive because I still don't have license >arrive at wedding >mom talking to everyone and being very social >sit alone at a table away from everyone >play on my phone >now time to seriously ask her out in real life this time >get paralyzed in fear >end up not doing it >sit paralyzed from social fear for the next 4 hours >mom comes over and says we have to go >drive back home >still paralyzed in fear >arrive home >run to my room >j------- to the thought of dating the hot girl at the wedding >e-------- >feel extreme guilt for the girl >40 minutes later back at it again

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