Anon saves a doggo | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG entertainment. 08/19/18(Sun)13:30:30 No.777598427 ITT: Good deeds you've done in your life. >Be me. >Go for a walk because I'm not a shut in virgin. >Walk by trailer park for some human >Girl comes running up to me. >Tells me her dog is dying and she needs help. >F----- jumped in the pool and didn't know how to swim. >Luckily I'm an EMT in training. >Grab big ass golden retriever out of pool. >Pretty sure its dead. >Give the dog CPR. >He's not responding but I keep at it. >Girl calls 911. >Turns out they don't send ambulances for dogs. >Just before I'm about to carry it to her car he starts coughing. >Throws up all over me. >Girl comes running over and hugs dog. >His tail starts wagging. >Girl thanks me. >Gives me a hug. >Tells me she'd kiss me if she didn't have a boyfriend. >Respect her relationship and leave with my head held high. I like helping people. It makes me feel good!

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Bravo Raimi | /r/Greentext

File: 1722653645321047m.jpg (62 KB, 1024x1024) ☐ Anonymous 08/04/24(Sun)18:59:05 No.202120781 >>202120818 >>202120842 >>202120862 >>202120880 >>202120889 >>202120941 >>202120962 >>202121010 >>202121182 >>202121201 >>202121220 >>202121299 >>202121346 >>202121389 >>202121441 >Peter... The Red Skull is dead.. I've been shot... >the responsibility of bringing on the new Reich falls to you now, boy.. Anybody feel a tad uncomfortable at this scene? ☐ Anonymous 08/04/24(Sun)19:02:43 No.202120818 ►>>202121176 >>202121292 File: 1498520847480.png (194 KB, 280x284) >>202120781 (OP) >You want door fix, Man of Spiders? Yes, I know these things you do, I learn how to find many secrets in old country. You will not pay rent? This is fair. We will take rent in other ways. When I was in old country, in Bosnia, my friends and I... we do things to women. Terrible things, make them ugly women who will never be loved. Your friends, redhead girl and science girl... they will beg me to stop, as my men and I rain alternating blows of e---------- and fists upon them. And when they are broken, Man of Spiders, when they are nothing more than shells... you know the rent is paid. >For this month ☐ Anonymous 08/04/24(Sun)19:04:22 No.202120842 File: 1722190266863274.jpg (318 KB, 900x682) AD011 Hitler Kampf >>202120781 (OP). >peter... ☐ Anonymous 08/04/24(Sun)19:07:45 No.202120889 ► >>202120781 (OP) >peter, when you go home tonight... there's a dufflebag in the closet in my workshop. I won't lie to you peter, it's full of heads. >> Anonymous 08/04/24(Sun)19:10:04 No.202120915 File: 1428475646392.png (217 KB, 500x259) >It's you who's out, Gobby. Out of the closet, you f------|

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Anons deserve respect | /r/Greentext

27 KB PNG >be me >drinking vodka and singing old Irish songs with friends >I end up passing out >wake up to my phone stolen and wallet empty >call friends with home phone >"ya hey man sorry about that we were playing poker and you lost them to john ill give him a call" >john calls me > "hey anon do you want your s--- back I know you were drunk and all" >get my money and phone back >mfw im a respected part of my friend group

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Murderous proficiency | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/28/24(Sun)21:54:04 No.201852524 1704378308113098.jpg 95 KB JPG >commits several murders >gets away with it since the police is just a bunch of dumb rednecks who have to piece the crime together by themselves was it really that easy before cameras and forensics?

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My wagie academia. (My hero academia spoilers) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 228 KB PNG >Becomes a wagie 08/03/24(Sat) 19:39:00 No.684557286 >Deku loses his powers >Instantly gives up on being hero >Doesn't even try to be a quirkless hero that relies on gadgets or anything just instantly gives up after months of training and hard work >Completely ghosted by every single one of his "friends" >No fans, no bitches, nothing, despite saving the f------ world >Doesn't even get any form of character growth since he's still a f------ cry baby loser >Fast-forward 8 years of being a social reject and he's suddenly given a hero suit funded by his gay lover Bakugou after he forced the rest of the class to fund development alongside him >Moral of his story was 'You're either born talented and successful or you're a loser that needs nepotism and handouts' KEKYPOO >>684557402 # >>684557495 # >>684557638 # >>684557834 # >>684557901 # >>684558319 # >>684558330 # >>684558424 # >>684559567 # >>684559715 # >>684560030 # >>684560232 # >>684560813 # >>684560843 #

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Anon’s girlfriend makes her feel loved | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 64 KB JPG 06/13/19(Thu)20:31:08 No.802160267 >be me >be 14 >only female on this site >depressed af >new girl joins the my boxing club >11/10 qt 3.14 >we become friends >find out she lives 2 minutes away from me >hang out every day >start to crush on her >grow some balls and confess my feelings >she likes me back >parents homophobic so we date in secret >ugly ass friend from school keeps asking me out >she's creepy af >i tell her i'm in a relationship but she persists >turns into borderline stalking >she follows me to the cinema where i'm meeting my gf >takes pictures of us kissing >outs us to the school >we tell people about her harassing us and about her r--- fetish >mfw people stick up for us 1 year passes >plan fancy dinner date for our 1 year anniversary >living with gf and her supportive family cause parents kicked me out >she gets sick so we lie in bed instead >she feels bad for "ruining" our anniversary >throws up then passes out with her head on my chest >mfw i feel loved >mfw i'm not depressed anymore >mfw i finally have a supportive family I made it /b/

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Anon thinks he's better than everyone | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/03/24(Sat)22:55:26 No.78382378 3.7 MB GIF >never/dont smoke weed, cigs etc >never/dont do any drugs whatsoever >never/dont party >never/dont drink alcohol >never/dont have sex >never/dont talk to women outside of work >never/dont talk to anyone outside work >never/dont do anything outside work, video games or reading/watching television or work out >deans list in college, commuted to classes, got full time job right when I graduated. >have nice job, nice apartment, not living paycheck to paycheck >dont care about politics, never voted and dont plan to >everyone at work likes talking to me, always reject offers to hang out with them outside work My life is peaceful. I like it this way. I dont want to change it.

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Anon fumbles a girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 69 KB JPG 12/11/22(Sun)15:24:51 No.890564073 >talking to girl I know >she's not very into me but I like her >we share a lot of opinions, she seems pretty smart >decide to compliment her >"hey, you're pretty smart, >not really thinking about it, end the sentence with: >for a woman." I can't think of anyone to blame for this but you f----

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Anon on the plight of the zoomers | /r/Greentext

File: 1721884549847434.jpg (6 KB, 200x202) ☐ Anonymous (ID: yyTSDhgw 08/03/24(Sat) 18:11:50 No.476823935 >>476824099 >>476824318 >>476825346 >>476826603 >Zoomies get scammed with $160,000 of debt for college >Get their degree in poopoonomics with a side of gender studies >Get out can't find a job and cri on TikTok >Complain they can't buy food >Vote Kamala

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Anon receives guidance | /r/Greentext

5h (7/6 19:44) · 71510310 JPG 43KB (1024 x 1024) 1613510906010.jpg 5 Replies back when I was first starting, like 4 months in >at my gym there was always this super jacked black guy that would put up huge numbers >everytime he's done with his set he yells out "0000000 BABY" >it was never obnoxious or anything, I found it funny >he catches me smirking at him after he did it once >he tells me that it helps with the next set >I laugh >a few weeks pass and I'm on a hard set of deadlifts >was still doing stronglifts so these are my max >push through them and for some reason yell out "000000 BABY" >I hear "DAS RIGHT" from across the gym >my next was easier Thank you jacked black man

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Anon is lonley | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/30/22(Fri)16:31:02 No.886526720 >be me, 30 years old >write greentext >screenshot it and post it on plebbit >some retards make fun of "anon" 106 KB JPG The only notifications I ever get on my phone. >keep writing greentexts just to have some human contact Wish I knew how to make friends. Anyway, going to post this there too. How are you doing /b/

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Anon gets a puppy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 31 KB PNG >be me 02/13/19(Wed)13:55:42 No.792533342 >be loser who drives a delivery van all day >work is f------ boring as f--- >get new puppy >puppy is sad when I go to work >have idea >I will take puppy to work with me >Next day put puppy in van >Puppy sits shotgun all day, does not piss or poop in cab >Take puppy to park during lunch break >Puppy waits patiently while I make deliveries >Drive home >Realize work was fun with my little puppy buddy >Have never had this much enjoyment of work >Thank you puppy

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anon has a meltdown | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 58 KB PNG >do it in 2 hours 11/01/18(Thu)20:30:36 No.49047062 >Have a whole week to do an assignment >Wait until the last 4 hours >have panic attack and total meltdown because 4 hours isn't enough to do it >have to try >get 95% on the assignment >one week to do assignment >wait until the last 2 hours

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