Anon is a balloon baby | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 64 KB PNG 07/02/24(Tue)00:49:54 No.920727468 >be me >at local fair >guy is making balloon animals >approach him >ask him if I could get a sword >he tells me I'm a little too old for balloons >f------ a------ >I may be 30 but I'll be f------ damned if I don't want a cool ass balloon sword >have fun playing with rubber your whole life >f------ prick

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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We all felt that | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/24(Mon) 18:00:26 No.681435590 1611621296483.jpg 10 KB JPG >IF YOU ARE TOO SICK FOR SCHOOL YOU ARE TOO SICK FOR VIDEOGAMES

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Double trouble | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/24(Mon) 18:10:31 No.681436626 DAW MANN TAIN TAIN MAIN me MANN PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE image_2024-07-01_180239440.png 500 KB PNG LIVE MANN 7:49 PM MT >"My opponent Blutarch has been handling the gravel wars terribly, frankly, it's a disaster. 4 Spies, 2 Snipers, no Medic, you can't do it! You're on Badwater Offense, you just can't do it!"

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anon has a pron addciton | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/28/15(Sat)09:00:34 No.601034522 >Be me >Have super ashy skin (I'm white) >So bad that in the mid- summer I sometimes bleed 74 KB JPG from my skin cracking >Go to dermatologist >Get this lotion thats supposed to help >300 dollars a bottle >Get home >J------- with it

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Mario and Wario type shit. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/26/23(Sun)18:21:03 No.140842492 AP440518012-1024x640.jpg 150 KB JPG >>140842410 (OP) # >Evil dictator is named Hitler >Second in command is named Himmler Who wrote this s---

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Finders keepers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/23/24(Sun)08:51:04 No.200386040 Robert-Downey-Jr-as-Iron-Man-in-Civil-War.jpg 123 KB JPG >That shield doesn't belong to you. You don't deserve it. My father made that shield! How do you respond without sounding mad

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My Mom Left | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/18(Sun)09:54:07 53 KB JPG >my mom left school at 16 due to poverty >never showed much interest in books, music etc >retired last year >has since been reading through all the books I left in boxes at home >her enthusiasm for reading is so pure I feel bad for not enjoying reading that much these days >she kept asking me if I was writing a book and said she could "never do that" >picked up the hint and encouraged her to give it a go, without getting my hopes up >tfw she sent me a story she wrote about two rabbits who become friends >tfw it made me cry and feels more honest than anything I've written How to cope with this feel bros? I love my mum so much.

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Anon is a cotard | /r/Greentext

And Wyd if you are a living corpse? Wyd if you are a living corpse(...) Cose Cook GOOD Reset 55 KB PNG Done 07/01/24(Mon)23:45:21 No.78014070 >smashed my head against the wall 3 days ago >everything around me started smelling rotten in a sour way despite me showering daily and having good hygiene >small bugs like flies and mosquitos started oribiting me for no reason at all >metabolism started slowing down, rarely feeling hungry or sleepy anymore despite being a lazy glutton before >started feel less and less emotional, just feels empty and drained 24/7 >stopped being able to control my muscles, walk with limp legs and raises my voice at random Am I f------ dead and just controlling my dead body? Does that mean dead ghost girls are now game without me being a necrophile? Anonymous 07/01/24(Mon)23:46:44 No.78014082 >>78014070 (OP) # It means you're a brain damaged retard who needs to go to a medical professional

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Comic life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/24(Mon) 13:41:43 No.200736402 OH, I'VE WASTED MY LIFE images (67).jpg 10 KB JPG >owns a successful business >plenty of friends >highly knowledgeable >spends all day enjoying his hobby >BUT HE WASTED HIS LIFE BECAUSE HE DIDN'T PUT HIS D--- IN A WET HOLE, OK??? Why did the writers do him dirty like this? What's wrong with this guy's life?

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Democranon Hates West Virginia | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous West Virginia ▼Settings Mobile Home 06/30/24(Sun)17:22:08 No.78005751 STATE OF WEST VIRGINIA 216 KB PNG >Lowest Income >Highest Poverty >Least Educated >Worst Healthcare >Highest circumcision >Worst Infrastructure >Least Job Opportunities >Lowest Life expectancy >Highest Obesity This really is the worst state. Why do they clown on Blue states when they wont fix their own problems? Anonymous 107 KB JPG 06/30/24(Sun)17:24:52 No.78005769 Damn, even their flag is s---...

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Strange to think that there were cartoon spin-offs of RoboCop, The Toxic Avenger, Rambo, Conan the Barbarian... | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 01/04/24(Thu)10:11:36 No.194304151 ► File: 0_hvBspndHQTNmJaUC.jpg (104 KB, 1400x865) >>194303823 >Lewis you stupid BITCH. I need Robocop tonight so that I can improve his robocock stamina by 1.4%!

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Anon works as phone salesman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon) 15:11:46 No.849659169 >be me >work as a phone salesman >95% of calls are old peope >nobody ever actually buys anything 110 KB PNG just want to talk >get paid per time spent in calls >most old people are lonely and >talk to old people about how they water their plants for hours >basically everyone at my job just talks to old people for 12 hours a day >even have regular callers that know us by names >supposed to advertise products but i actually just talk to grandma Lauren every day for 8 hours about how she used to live back in the day >she appears to forget what she said, repeats the same thing 10s of times. >my job is basically to register when Lauren made a pause in her speech and say "Very interesting, keep going"

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Anon discusses the water cycle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/24(Mon)00:54:22 No.16262445 >be drop of water in ocean >exist for millions of years >evaporate and exist as clouds >fly down to earth as rain >repeat this beautiful dance for millennia >witness evolution of life 156 KB JPG >see humans build cities >one day land in man made lake >go down pipe >come out pipe into cup >swallowed by human >p----- out through R Kelly's diseased c--- onto a 12 year olds face Humans ruin everything.

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