Comic life | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 07/01/24(Mon) 13:41:43 No.200736402 OH, I'VE WASTED MY LIFE images (67).jpg 10 KB JPG >owns a successful business >plenty of friends >highly knowledgeable >spends all day enjoying his hobby >BUT HE WASTED HIS LIFE BECAUSE HE DIDN'T PUT HIS D--- IN A WET HOLE, OK??? Why did the writers do him dirty like this? What's wrong with this guy's life?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Democranon Hates West Virginia | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous West Virginia ▼Settings Mobile Home 06/30/24(Sun)17:22:08 No.78005751 STATE OF WEST VIRGINIA 216 KB PNG >Lowest Income >Highest Poverty >Least Educated >Worst Healthcare >Highest circumcision >Worst Infrastructure >Least Job Opportunities >Lowest Life expectancy >Highest Obesity This really is the worst state. Why do they clown on Blue states when they wont fix their own problems? Anonymous 107 KB JPG 06/30/24(Sun)17:24:52 No.78005769 Damn, even their flag is s---...

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Strange to think that there were cartoon spin-offs of RoboCop, The Toxic Avenger, Rambo, Conan the Barbarian... | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 01/04/24(Thu)10:11:36 No.194304151 ► File: 0_hvBspndHQTNmJaUC.jpg (104 KB, 1400x865) >>194303823 >Lewis you stupid BITCH. I need Robocop tonight so that I can improve his robocock stamina by 1.4%!

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Anon works as phone salesman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon) 15:11:46 No.849659169 >be me >work as a phone salesman >95% of calls are old peope >nobody ever actually buys anything 110 KB PNG just want to talk >get paid per time spent in calls >most old people are lonely and >talk to old people about how they water their plants for hours >basically everyone at my job just talks to old people for 12 hours a day >even have regular callers that know us by names >supposed to advertise products but i actually just talk to grandma Lauren every day for 8 hours about how she used to live back in the day >she appears to forget what she said, repeats the same thing 10s of times. >my job is basically to register when Lauren made a pause in her speech and say "Very interesting, keep going"

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Anon discusses the water cycle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/24(Mon)00:54:22 No.16262445 >be drop of water in ocean >exist for millions of years >evaporate and exist as clouds >fly down to earth as rain >repeat this beautiful dance for millennia >witness evolution of life 156 KB JPG >see humans build cities >one day land in man made lake >go down pipe >come out pipe into cup >swallowed by human >p----- out through R Kelly's diseased c--- onto a 12 year olds face Humans ruin everything.

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Don't underestimate a samurai | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What went wrong? 06/23/24(Sun)19:49:30 No.200399640 汇 FE878B95-CE4D-46C5-A65C-F641D4501F51.png 111 KB PNG >immortal demon >transcends time and space >unrivaled conqueror of the universe >defeated by a dude in sandals How did he let this happen?

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Anon and the nanny | /r/Greentext

old >go to dinner with my dad, his friend, his friends wife, their newborn and 2-3 year old...and their "nanny" (who is really his friends daughter). >dad's friend: "Hey (the nanny) cooks! We should do a dinner party" >my dad: "Yeah!" >dad's friend: "Okay [Nanny] and [Anon] you both get together and put together the party" >obvious-setup.png >not sure what else to do so I give her my number >dinner party is like 15 people now, including the nanny's dad I feel super awkward about this. I got a text today with her menu and she seems very excited, but, I feel super awkward that I think this is just a ploy for my dad and his buddy to set me up with his nanny/friends daughter. It also feels kinda creepy because I'm 36 and she's apparently 22. I don't even know what I'm asking I'm just hoping some anons might lend some advice. How do I handle this? How do I not make this awkward? The menu the nanny made looks incredible though, I'm f------ impressed.

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Anon is happy | /r/Greentext

54 KB PNG >Be me >See a group of turkeys in a van >Immitate the sound of yelping >The turkeys yelp back >Die of laughter >Day instantly becomes better Truly life is good

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The autistic exorcist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 86 KB JPG 06/22/24(Sat)00:34:36 No.200342826 >Mom looks mad as she gets home from parent teacher conference >Says my teachers have told her I refuse to go to science class because they teach "apostasy" >Shake my head at this woman who, like Eve, has been seduced by the demon of secular education >Begin to chant in Latin under my breath as I retrieve a vial of holy water (blessed by myself, for I can trust no other priest in this fallen town) from my makeshift bathrobe/cassock >Uncork the holy water vial as my Mom goes on about how "embarrassing it is to have a son with autism" >Splash her in the face while cursing Diabolus and demanding he withdraw his infernal Legions from her witchy mind >Mom confiscates my holy water and now I can't watch Pope's Exorcist again until I apologize In times like these I feel only Russel Crowe and I really understand the infernal threat we're facing. God help the rest of you.

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United We Stand | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/24(Mon) 12:23:21 No.77935053 507.jpg 20 KB JPG >Source? SOURCE? where's your source? >I'm too stupid to learn things on my own and apply critical thinking, I need to be spoonfed. >SOOOURCE

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Anon is into wrench wenches | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/01/24(Sat) 13:09:27 No.678279368 171720632957476.jpg 352 KB JPG What's this type of character called? 10

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Moth Madness | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 06/30/24(Sun)17:41:18 No.78005894 >Be me in the early 00s >S------- kid >Summer comes by 78 KB PNG >Everyone opens their window due to the heat >EvilPlan.jpeg >Find out about moth catchers >Catch some moths in the little tub >Go outside looking for open windows >Find one >Unleash the swarm >Run back home >Repeat the process

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Anon falls for the girlfriend meme | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Onge 699 KB PNG 07/07/22(Thu)16:38:47 No.69327036 the greatest psyop this site ever pulled was the autistic gf meme >be normie tier loser, slightly spergy but no major issues >meet autistic tomboy online >she messages first, keeps the convo going and acts very interested >remember that according to you retards this is my best chance to ascend >we go on a picnic date at a local park >she shows up with noise cancelling headphones and a literal autism card (like in the joker movie, except explaining that she gets autistic meltdowns) >talks to me for an entire hour nonstop about the most random s--- >i said 3 words max >we get to the spot, i brought some supermarket sandwiches >doesnt touch them, the texture makes her uncomfortable >eats a protein bar and drinks some weird onions milk shake instead >spends 2 more hours rambling on about weird medical s--- >try to relate, tell her about an article i read related to the conversation >ignores every single word i said i thought having an autistic gf would mean i dont have to deal with typical woman b------- but just a couple hours talking to one and im already sick of it. dont fall for the me me lads.

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