anon is The Danger | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>ultra skinny lanklet growing up >we're talking 6'7" 170 >fix my s--- all the way up to 230 >dyel lifts according to /fit/ but compared to before look and feel like Superman >all the crazies that have shown up on public transit and on the streets even in nice areas don't bother me >mom gets sick >she's lost a ton of weight, looks frail now >I come visit, we go out together > "it's good having you here, anon. I get nervous going out alone these days but I know nothing will happen with you here." You're god damn right it won't mom.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Conquest of cuteness | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/18/24(Sat)21:04:41 No. 199273666 hah.png 977 KB PNG >The Empire Army >Mightiest Force in the Universe >Unlimited soldiers, resources and technology >loses to a bunch of teddybears Bravo, Lucas!

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Average /fit/ bread | /r/Greentext

TAHI. /fit/!! WHOOPS! WHOOPS! LOND U-UM... HOW WOULD I GO ABOUT LOSING 15KGS? SORRY I'M So FAT... WHOOPS! Can't show that in a Christian manga SALT LAKE CITY W-WHAT? READ THE STICKY STICKY LONDON OU DON'T LOOK TOO TERRIBLE, OP. COULD DO BETTER, BEELD HIT IT LISTEN, LITTLE BABY ANYWAY. ·HOFF HUFF पू LIKETAL You're gonna get a lot of hurtful and degrading Comments WHOOPS! But that ain't what I'm 25 BEIN ENDON, >MFW THINKING ABOUT You HURTING LONDON ronpon about. Let me Just Say, you are perfect the Hi! few things to start off With. 1. =] Yes, I Upvoted you because you're a female Ait/izen. 'tis an awesome to secr thing to 3. Don't be not a Sted thing, I'l I'm Brian. Red, but I'm Guy. If any Be tein way you are. PERFECT You hear me, sugar? Don't ever change. You Deserve Everything and Anything you want! Stay Safe for me, baby girl. GCOMPS* HAW HAW WHOOPS! WHOOPS! NICE GYNO MAN THE HARPOONS! Looooondooony F OOONDOO STOP EATING BREAD, OP. BREAD IS QUITE POSSIBLY THE WORST FOOD FOR YOU. It's just EMPTY CALORIES. OVER THE YEARS, THE FLOUR WEVE USED HAS SLOWLY BECOME MORE BLEACHED AND REFINED. WHEREAS BEFORE IT WAS ACTUALLY HEALTHY AND NUTRITIO I'M NO HEALTH F--, I SMOKE WEED, DO MDA BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T DO? EAT BREAD SHOULDNT YOU HEY F--- YOU BUDDY. AWESOME. EURO POORS BE GETTING BREAD YEAH! 15 THIS IS BAIT. EXACT READY FOR BED? PALEO + PROVO BLAH BLAH KETAMIN LONDON HE'S RIGHT, YOU KNOW. > PROCESSED CARBS >2014 LEL POST YOUR FAVORITE BREADS! CIABATA SHUT THE F--- UP. DAT APPEAL TO NATURE >Sg Fibek TIP-TOP KEK IS GODTIER. GET A LOAD OF THIS MURICAN RULES OF NATURE THO CARBS ARE LITERALLY HITLER. ITALIAN WONDERBREAD LOAF FOR GLUTE A S--- YOU'VE GONE MUH PROCESSED LONDON, FOOD Алт RUTA FRANTI H-------- Look AT THOSE MACRO I LIKE SERBREAD WONDO Too FAR! Mammw. WHITE BREAD MASTERRACE >IMPLYING MLADY TIFYM IDIOT KEK OH GOD HAWAIIAN BUNS TAKE PIC U-UM OF BREAD GUYS...W/TIMESTA I-- MIRIN DEM 50G CARBS PER SUCE SHUT THE F--- UP OP. WEREALKING ABOUT BREAD /fit/ - Bread

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Crawling under my skin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous TRE HOUSE Magic MUSHROOM GUMMIES WATERMELON WONDER 15 QUMMIES JPG | 175.25 KB Saturday 2024-06-15 01:06:37 2 hours ago 77834009 These things SUCK. >took 1 >waited six hours >nothing >took another one, thinking my body was just sowly metabolizing things as it tends to do sometimes (I have some pretty bad ibs and when it gets irritated things can slow down to a crawl digestive wise) >wait 3 hours >nothing This is my first time taking something like this and I was told by the shop clerk to start out at one gummie, so I was expecting to at least feel high. But absolutely nothing happened. 20 Replies 3 Images 8< REPLY

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Denial has left you all alone | /r/Greentext

Anonymous JPG | 134.73 KB Saturday 2024-06-15 02:55:29 2 minutes ago 77835208 Damn, they got my ass. >cave in and make instagram >follow like two fitness tips and meal prep accounts >my reccomended is all sexy black women How did they know? 00 0 Replies 0 Images REPLY

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Anon doesn't like Mr. Boss | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 191 KB JPG Anonymous 06/09/24(Sun)11:52:21 No.144011347 I hate character design of Mr. Boss, it's unpleasant to look at >it's le on purpose the fact still stands, it's unpleasant to look at, no matter how many layers of irony there is on it. 06/09/24(Sun)11:54:06 No.144011364 1715897238980390.png 5 KB PNG This is a little version of your thread, OP. I want you to have it. >>144011380 # >>144011390 # >>144011391 # >>144011399 # >>144011409 # >>144011433 # >>144011687 # >>144011766 # >>144011771 # >>144011886 # >>144012048 # >>144013256 # >>144014194 # >>144014289 # >>144014378 # >>144014950 # >>144015414 # >>144016497 # >>144017674 # >>144017734 # >>144017757 # >>144018039 # >>144018088 # >>144018090 #

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Really, what's stopping you? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/13/24(Thu)22:43:09 No.679626414 1718332237143.jpg 292 KB JPG >the entirety of the undertale soundtrack was composed on a pirated copy of FLstudio 10 with only default samples and synths what's your excuse?

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He marked it as a date, she marked it as a free dinner | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/21/23(Sat)16:44:40 No.75142647 >Be me 23 years old >Finally convince crush to go on a date >Spend all my savings on a fancy restaurant, new clothes, and cologne 157 KB JPG >Feel like a baller >Pick her up >Date night arrives >Dinner is going well, we're laughing, getting along >Time for the bill >My wallet is crying >Pay for the dinner, trying to act cool >She says, "Thanks, this was fun. I'll text you later." >Days pass, no text >Week later, still nothing Why did I do this.

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Anon and office double standards | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1765434598764.jpg, 64KIB, 711x718 Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2020 13:27:24 No.59011713 View Report happened last year, but i'll greentext it >be me, work at a big tech company >leftist ultra-woke usual corporate nonsense etc >i'm 6'2 and lifting for 2.5 years, working up to 2/3/4/5 >wear polo shirts to work bc comfy and collared/professional, downside is everyone can see my physique >i outright refuse to talk about weightlifting/fitness to my coworkers to avoid becoming a stereotype >always change the subject, or say "yeah I used to lift in the past but not anymore" >but I'm obviously very muscular, especially by normie standards >normie standards are so f-----, they think I'm mr olympia while to me I'm a work in progress >i can always feel the unspoken resentment from other ppl tho >thotty summer interns and vendor sales hoes always approach me, plenty of mires >some fat girl on a team adjacent to mine always making weird fitness jokes at my expense >not a landwhale (yet) but extremely overweight, massive feminist, white BLM activist >approaching the wall at warp speed and secretly knows it (they all do) >theres a disagreement on how to use engineering resources >"hey, I'll bet anon over there probably wants to settle the debate by arm wrestling lol" >constant weird annoying comments like that >one day i get to a meeting 5 minutes late bc i had to walk across two buildings to get there >"well well nice of you to join us there protein shake" >enough >"well I'm here now, sorry I'm late McFlurry" > room with a dozen people in it falls silent >everyone staring at me like i just murdered a child or something >literally 15 seconds of silence >fatty is in shock, doesn't say anything for the entire meeting >next day >manager requests a 10am meeting >walk into the room, its him and 2 HR people >assigned 4 weeks of sensitivity training >online courses on diversity in the workplace >mfw around fats never relax

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Anon isn't able to enjoy the moment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 26 KB JPEG 15/06/2024, 00:08:01 > be me > play with my kitten No.33197999 > he's 6 month old and he's the sweetest thing ever > I finally feel loved and accepted and I would anything for him > I start crying because I think he will die much before me and I will miss this moments Why am I like this?

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Anon wants to be a scientist | /r/Greentext

File: 07C1A246-9526-4961-A187-0(...).jpg (111 KB, 1278x1230) Aptilink + Aptilink https://aptilink.io/results/basic?session_id=cs_live_a1t5G4mqSZZ... Services ▾ Learn More v Contact Results Your IQ is 80 9.12% 50 75 100 125 150 Highcharts.com Your IQ is in the top 90.88% In a room of 1000 people you would be smarter than C 91 of them. >>15413000 >>15413046 >>15413114 >>15413135 >>15413220 Anonymous 05/03/23(Wed)05:12:34 No.15412971 >>15413411 >>15413454 What field of science should I get into with an IQ of 80? Anonymous 05/03/23(Wed)05:26:37 No.15413000 >>15412971 (OP) lab animal

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Average Grimdank User | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/12/20(Mon)07:53:07 No.57865060 >>57865260 >>57868884 935f8f99-ff97-4555-b052-0(...).jpg (64 KB, 1200x680) google yandex iqdb wait >>57864873 >if you never talk to them I did, once. Anonymous Anonymous 10/12/20(Mon)08:08:41 No.57865260 >>57865615 >>57865060 Story time? Anonymous 10/12/20(Mon)08:38:00 No.57865615 >>57866150 >>57866188 >>57866207 >>57866731 >>57868110 >>57868246 >>57868884 the-boys-homelander.jpg (230 KB, 2028x1140) google yandex iqdb wait >>57865260 Sure. >be me >start lifting right when the gym opens up >completely empty most of the time >electronic access so don't have to deal with the bitch at the reception >strange but comfy feeling >liminalspacesafterdark.jpg >about a month in this HUGE roidfag shows up >120+ kg not a gramm of fat on him >whatever there's more than enough benches for the both of us >about halfway through my last set I hear bloodcurdling screams from the other side of the freeweight area >"W-----! WHY DID YOU BETRAY EVERYONE?! WHY?! AAAAAAHH! W-----!" >look over >see roidfag benching with his headphones in while screaming his head of >quickly finish my set and leave >this continues for weeks >6 days a week, 4 weeks a month >every single time things get rough for him on the bench "W-----! WHY DAMN YOU?! WHOOOOOOORES!" >one day work up the nerve to tell him to keep it down with the incel s--- since I can hear him through my NOISECANCELLING HEADPHONES >says he isn't screaming "w-----" but "Horus", a guy who "betrayed him and his kin" >ask him what the f--- he means by "his kin" >he rolls up his sleeve to reveal the gayest shoulder tattoo I've ever seen >looks like a tear with angel wings >wakemeupinside.jpg >says he's part of the "blood warriors" or some s--- like that >never heard of a gang by that name in the area >he apparently interprets my looks of bewilderment as a sign of interest and goes on the most autistic rant I've heard in my f------ life Cont? Anonymous Anonymous 10/12/20(Mon)09:18:47 No.57866150 >>57866638 >>57865615 unreasonably based Anonymous 10/12/20(Mon)09:22:00 No.57866188 >>57866638 >>57865615 Please continue man this is great Anonymous 10/12/20(Mon)09:23:38 No.57866205 >>57864526 BIG DOGS GOTTA EAT Anonymous 10/12/20(Mon)09:23:44 No.57866207 >>57866638 >>57865615 Please continue Anonymous 10/12/20(Mon)09:59:29 No.57866638 >>57866683 >>57866731 >>57866842 >>57866953 >>57867181 >>57867747 >>57868072 >>57868110 >>57868246 >>57868256 >>57868884 1602447378286.jpg (117 KB, 553x544) google yandex iqdb wait >>57866150 >>57866188 >>57866207 Cont. >says he can lift heavier by channeling his "black rage" >I stare even harder >the guy is super white >like born in Eastern Europe and has never seen the sun white >is this mf like a reverse black klansman or something? >he notices my eyeballs coming out of my skull and eleborates >apparently Horus isn't a real guy, he's the bad guy from some kind of niche fantasy franchise he subscribes too >so are the blood warriors >he then proceeds to relate to me some of the weirdest s--- I've heard in a long time >I mean I was into some autistic s--- in my time but BOI >thousands of years into the future >humanity built a galaxy spanning empire but somehow reverted back to an absolute monarchy in the process >everything is led by a single guy who is a huge fedora tipping atheist, but also technically himself a god >also he's in a coma and needs to eat a thousand witches every single day to stay alive >instead of using warp drives like in star trek they open up portals to hell, cover the (somehow shorter) distance IN HELL and break back into reality >speaking of hell there's demons in this universe, also aliens, also witches, also cyborgs >to deal with all that s--- they brought back the communist commisariat and - I kid you not - the Spanish Inquisition >I just keep staring and smiling politely for fear of him killing me in an autistic fit of rage if I shut him up >the f----- won't. stop. talking. >I finally loose my patience when he tells me about this alien race that's like LOTR elves except their magic is powered EXCLUSIVELY BY R--- >not by sex like in some ancient vitality based nature religion >no it HAS to be r--- or their t----- god won't be satisfied >mumble something non commital about being late for work and gtfo >he yells after me about how we should talk more and how it's super hard to find someone who's interested in that s--- >can'timaginewhy.jpg Anonymous 10/12/20(Mon)10:01:55 No.57866683 >>57866731 >>57868006 >>57868246 >>57868884 3ajtl3-1.jpg (32 KB, 640x360) google yandex iqdb wait >>57866638 >stay home and do calisthenics for two weeks >buy some better headphones >he's still there every morning >to this day he's still screaming about Horus and how he betrayed him >thankfully he never talked to me again >the new headphones drown him out, mostly Yeah, f--- talking to randos at the gym.

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Anons always getting suprisingly retarded | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >>199628 06/01/24(Sat) 11:44:25 No. 199634 >would you allow you're gf to go to bjj classes knowing what you know about how men behave? No Women doing martial arts is cope and cringe

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