Anon talks about Russian jets | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 06/09/24(Sun)18:47:53 No.61824060 >the first 5th gen fughter loss to enemy combat >not in syria because of an Israeli operation >not in yemen because of a american operation >in russia, because of their own operations Russia is such a joke. They don't even have triple the number of digits.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon is Jigsaw | /r/Greentext

File: Bitchythepuppet.png (209 KB, 454x456) For all the feedees Anonymous 06/09/24(Sun)21:54:20 No.919617599 >You're a gainer >You're at home consuming your 99th burger >You reach through your hundreds of fat rolls to find your penis, the c-- sticking them together painfully snapping off and pulling your hairs >chloroform.jpg >You wake up >Billy le puppet is on a tv, a chain going up your anus is connected to a truck >Le scale nearby with le cleaver >Crane with wrecking ball is nearby >"Hello anon, for years you've neglected your health for nothing more than meaningless pleasure, putting yourself through numerous heart failures, diabetes diagnoses, and bouts of diarrhoea. Today, you will s--- out more than just faecal matter. The chain is hooked directly into your colon. In just ten seconds, the truck will speed off, giving you the mother of all a--- prolapses. The only way to save yourself is to cut off all the weight you have worked years to gain and fap to, and place it on the scale, which will cause the wrecking ball to crush the truck, preventing it's activation. Live or die anon, make your choice."

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Ancient Sins | /r/Greentext

>[ 01/24/08(Thu 23:35:22 No.51907770 Last summer after i was finished administering a good hot dicking to my girlfriend (in b4 i don't think you have etc.) I go to to the bathroom to clean up like i always do. And this time a had to take a s--- so I'm about to throw the condom into the toilet to get rid of it when an idea comes to me. I put four fingers into the open end of the condom and stretch it out and hold it up to my a------ and s--- into the condom. A perfect smooth finely tapered poop. It slides all the way down into the bottom of the condom. Coming to rest in the pool of e--------, and displacing some if it so that it flows up the sides of the turd. Perfect. It fits like a banana in it's skin. Then i look at my creation, wondering if anything could possibly be more awesome. Then i clip my toenails and drop them in there for good measure. I take the whole thing, hold the opening over the faucet and start filling it with warm water. I'm thinking of all the awesome things i could do with my newly acquired disease balloon. Running all the different scenarios through my head. Trying to select the single most awesome one. "This is going to be epic." I tell myself. I take it off the tap, it's about the size of a volleyball now. I go to tie it at the end, and I have the bit stretched around my fingers, ready to put the tip through the loop and complete the knot, when m----------- slips out of grip because the freshly unrolled end was still lubricated. It starts spewing it's payload before it even hits the floor. >> [ 01/24/08(Thu)23:36:09 No.51907834 It lands on my foot, bounces a little and empties itself all over my white socks. My girlfriend, who is still in the bedroom it's startled to hear a loud "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCK" emanating from the bathroom. She then opens the door to check on me and is greeted by the sight of her boyfriend standing in a puddle of s--- stew with a limp condom at his feet. The just stares for a moment. Dumbfounded. Like she can't believe what's happing. Or she doesn't want to believe. There poo and c-- and toenails on the floor. On the walls, the mirror, on me. While her brain tries to make sense of the scene in front of her, I slam the door in her face, which seems to snap her out of the daze. "What the f---?! What the f--- did you do?!" she screams, like she's about to cry. I feel regret. Not for what I did, but for what I could have done. It smells now. I dry off with her towel then drop it on the floor, covering what part of the mess i can. I put on my cool face and exit the bathroom, gently shutting the door behind me. My girlfriend eyes me. I know she's waiting for an explanation. But i don't think she could handle it. So i walk past her without saying anything. I put on my coat and tell her "It's getting kind of late. I'm gonna head home." She just stares at me with that dumb look on her face. I drop my poo socks in her mailbox and walk home. That was the last time i would hear from her. But i had something better now. A dream. I would make another.

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Anon gets anointed with praise | /r/Greentext

2h (06/08/24 16:28) 77768327 • 1 Re. 1 Img JPG 26KB (1002 x 249) 1698801669868.jpg imgflip.com 0 >get catering gig for a local church >bbq for one of their get-togethers >lost of semi boomers >organizer calls me the day after to tank me for the delicious food and also said the people thought i was cute

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Anon might’ve killed someone | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Think i killed some idiot on t(...) 06/07/24(Fri)23:09:49 No.27718927 16 KB GIF >be me going to visit my sister >driving down highway >going the speed limit coz im not a f------ criminal >traffic is conjested as f--- and theres a dude next to me going the same speed >bigass truck starts tailgating me. >refuse to speed up and break the law >truck starts f------ honking at me >car next to me speeds up and switches lanes but i refuse to break the law >have unopened monster energy that I forgot to drink >idea.jpeg >truck switches lanes to pass me >f------ chuck my monster out the window at him as he speeds up >truck swerves and flips over like 4/5 times It sure feels good to be bad Anonymous >>27718927 (OP) # 06/07/24(Fri)23:13:36 No.27718933 He made his choice by buying a truck.

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Yeah, I guess this is character writing now | /r/Greentext

108/32/4 >I just got chased by a guy with a freaking pyramid for a head

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Anon its disappointed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/07/24(Fri)22:01:44 No.77625331 hololive STAGE World Tour 24 New York Jakarta Singapore Atlanta Kuala Lumpur More information to be announced. >world tour >no Europe >no flyover states >no LATAM 1717811924562914.png 1.97 MB PNG © 2016 COVER Corp +

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The last line of defence | /r/Greentext

File: Cat and dog.png (167 KB, 296x300) >They arrest the guy Anonymous (ID: w7iklM6K) 08/06/14(Wed)13:25:02 No.560918306 >Be living with myself and my two pets, a cat and a dog >Dog barks at everything and cat never gives a f--- about anything or anyone >Be asleep >Hear my dog barking >notagain.jpeg >He shuts up after 30 seconds >I try to fall asleep again >After two minutes my dog start barking again like crazy >I go down to tell him to shut up >When I get down there is a freaking burglar on the bookshelf >Ski mask and all >On the floor lies a gun >Beneath bookshelf is my dog barking and jumping up after him >On the couch sits my cat looking like he found my tuna stash >I call the police > I give my dog a sausage for being a good guard dog >A couple of days later a guy calls from the station >During the interrogation the burglar admitted that he broke into my house, kicked my cat and lured my dog into a closet >My dog jumped him two minutes later >The burglar didn't know my dog can open doors >He can't >My cat being "f--- everyone else"-king of the house can though >Taught himself so he can come and go as he please >My cat must had become p----- and released my dog so he could attack the burglar >MFW my cat is a d--- >MFW I added animal cruelty to the charges

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Anon is Italian | /r/Greentext

650x813, sads.jpg) Anonymous (ID: Z/jgpDx3) 11/09/12(Fri)17:58:20 No.435969427 Replies: >>435971345 >>435971635 >>435971949 >>435972123 >>435972254 >>435972291 >>435972559 >>435972704 >>435973158 >>435973159 >>435973326 >>435973549 >>435973950 >>435974179 >>435974538 >>435974676 >>435975137 >>435975236 >>435975307 >>435975408 >>435975448 >>435975862 >>435975875 >>435975909 >>435975973 >gf is prego >we like to get kinky anyways >one night things get particularly saucy >i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird f------ chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights >w-- it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period >i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering >ohshitohshitohshitohshit >i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital >she's still bleeding everywhere >by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much more, but all color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent >oh s---, she looks like she's in a vegetative state >storm into to the emergency room, carry her to the nearest doctor and explain everything >he takes one look at her and says >"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" >"WHY THE F--- NOT???" >"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce" >mfw

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Imagine a world where anon imagines being successful | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/08/24(Sat)00:55:07 No.77760580 >imagine their wor the s------ >pop a massive erection Every time. Lots of ppl do this right?

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What was the thought process here? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: CYWRJ8ml) → 06/07/24(Fri)18:32:42 No.470481166 54 KB JPG ALEX JONES >spreads lies about the families of the victims of the Sandy Hook Massacre >gets sued by them >loses >"I'M BEING PERSECUTED!" What the f--- is his problem?

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anon dominates nature | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 06/08/24(Sat)00:55:07 No.77760580 ► >see anthill >stomp it hard >warrior ants deployed en masse >massacre their army >imagine the terror of the s------ and worker ants in the city below >their world literally collapsing before their eyes >pop a massive erection Every time. Lots of ppl do this right?

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Headlights in The Darkness | /r/Greentext

Board /bant/ - International/Random Anonymous (ID: XjNb3i70) Dashcam Videos Settings Mobile Home 06/05/24(Wed)17:24:29 No.20467707 UK Dashcams 520 KB PNG [Not original Picrel] >Gets minorly inconvenienced by other driver >Unleashes unfathomable rage USA Dashcams >Car pulls out 1 mile ahead of cammer on rural road >Still crashes Russian Dashcams >Car explodes due to lack maintenance >Truck crashes into it at 60mph; also explodes >Asteroid hits the intersection >Nobody notices >0 deaths Chinese dashcams >Drives >45 people get crushed

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