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Anonymous 53 KB JPG >night out comes >its in some club 05/26/24(Sun)21:09:38 No.77623625 >get a new job >chat to a few of my new coworkers >one of them says some people from work are going out on friday night and asks if i want to come >never had friends or anything so happily say yes >feel accepted for the first time in my life >about 20 people from work are there >club is full to bursting point >women are dressed like prostitutes and have so much makeup on they look like burn victims >guys are all dressed like t---- and are acting like t---- >try to chat to coworkers but can't because of the noise. >try to dance but can't because every time I move an inch I hit someone >don't like alcohol so forced to sit around drunk people for hours >almost everyone seems to be doing drugs as well >just sit there for hours till 1am not even able to think because its so noisy >go home wishing i'd never went >next day in work everyone says its one of the best nights out they've ever had Okay what the f--- am I missing here? Is this seriously what being a normie is like? I honestly had more fun the time I accidentally s--- myself as a teenager and had to smuggle my soiled boxers out of the house without anyone seeing or smelling them

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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Anon is a Buddhist | /r/Greentext

***Anonymous East 21 KB JPG 05/26/24(Sun)23:27:05 No.918923441 >thinking about killing myself >realize reincarnation might be real >18% chance to respawn in China >18% chance to respawn in India >15% chance to respawn in Africa >5% chance to respawn in South America >5% chance to respawn in Middle >if I kill myself, it might be that I have a 61% chance to respawn in an actual s------- country Reincarnation being real would unironically prove Earth really is Hell.

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Anon found a loli | /r/Greentext

File: 1300669768956.jpg (398 KB, 544x600) Anonymous (ID: igTm24fJ 05/26/24(Sun)11:46:13 No.469204848 >>469205280 >>469205534 >>469205704>>469206529 >>469207086 >>469207436 >>469210718 >>469210914 >>469211591 >>469211607 >>469211620 >be me >Exiting mcshits >A wild loli appears >Begin to open door to hold it for her >Immediately calculate all of the years ahead of her, all the b------- she'll pull, the lies she'll tell, the guys shell cheat on and exploit, decades of narcissism and whoredom >She begins walking closer to door >Use man brain to instinctively know trajectory of door >REALLY open it for her at the perfect moment >Mfw the handle knocked her tooth out >She begins crying >Turns into screaming like a banshee when she sees her tooth on the ground and the blood in her hand >Her mother comes running up screaming "what happened" >Both look towards me >Say the wind ripped the door right out of her hand >Got the f--- out while barely getting it together >Almost died laughing on my way home

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Anon on R. Lee Ermey's performance in Full Metal Jacket | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/24(Thu)11:53:14 No.2663937 Screenshot_20240523_114135_YouTube.jpg 532 KB JPG >There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on n------, k----, wops, greasers, injuns, zipperheads, slavoids, or any other inferior race. You will not be allowed to lynch pvt.Snowball. You will not make Holocaust jokes at pvt.Joker. You will not tell our South- Vietnamese allies to open their eyes so they can shoot better. And you MOST CERTAINLY will not shame pvt.Cowboy for being a filthy c----sucking f----- queer. Fried chicken and kosher bagels will be available in the messhall for pvt. Snowball and pvt.Joker respectively. Here you are all worthless subhuman n------. Do you maggots understand that? Was this necessary?

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Anon sleeps | /r/Greentext

83 KB JPG Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh I'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them.

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Anon gets singled out | /r/Greentext

12m (05/25/24 16:31) 77618279 - 6 Re. 1 Img PNG 324KB (576 x 607) Download.png 3 Replies my apolocheese OP >coworkers asked me if i was excited for the 3 day weekend >wasnt thinking and said "oh sure i cant wait to spend another weekend rotting in my room crying my eyes out and cutting myself haha" just f----- up my whole work rep dude

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Anon discuss literary master sister trio | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 KB JPG 05/25/24(Sat)16:24:40 No.23422918 >be final surviving member of literary master sister trio >Destroy your sisters works because they're, idk, bad or offensive or whatever >Go down in history as the most talented and celebrated of the trio Why are women like this?

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Anon almost dies from norovirus | /r/Greentext

Anonymous THESE STUPID PIECES OF S--- CA(...) 05/25/24(Sat)03:19:01 No.2735828 avity Bag 9060 991 KB PNG >be a few hours innawoods camping >filter water with one of these badboys from a large, clear water lake >go to s--- one night, open my ass and its like the bathtub faucet was turned on >never shat like that in my life >whole camp is wretching within hours >we later learn we likely caught norovirus >am the only one strong enough to carry much gear and another guy has to be carried out >other guy is completely fine along with me, but within an hour he's keeled over puking everywhere barely keeping his face off the ground >we start the drive back >can't even make it, have to pull into a motel next to a hospital >within hours, we are delirious from dehydration as we puke 3.5x the volume of whatever we can drink >barely able to lift myself out of bed, make the call we gotta go to the hospital >collapse in the entry way, scared of my own reflection in the mirror when I see it >doctor hooks us up to IV >no longer insane after 15 minutes of the jesus hydration gravy train >tells me I was starting to die from dehydration >turns out these filters advertise as safe for camping, but very few filter viruses, and those that do are ultra slow DON'T USE THESE S------- EVER. ITS NOT WORTH IT. USE PURIFICATION TABS AND/OR BOIL WATER 20 Replies View Thread

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Anon analyzes a certain Pokémon episode. | /r/Greentext

►Anonymous 01/27/16 (Wed) 19:33:33 ID: bef0a2 No.4737009 File (hide): 1453952013985.png (Spoiler Image, 151.84 KB, 549x322, 549:322, hero of the episode.png) >>4734029 No movie I can think of but here's a cartoon, courtesy of /tv/'s thread on Angry Birds. It's the episode of Pokémon where the Charmander evolves. >Character of the week is Melvin the magician >He's not drawn like any other character in the show >>Shep haircut >>Big nose >>Beady little eyes >>The most heinous Jew accent ever to be on television >Vid of Melvin here: https://youtu.be /yymlq0tvGXo?t=1m38s The plot of the episode >Melvin's first seen getting scolded by a woman because he refuses to pay her >He's an eccentric cheapo >He is trying desperately to get into show business >Gets Misty on her own and pressures her into being his assistant and wearing a revealing outfit >He hypnotizes and brainwashes Ash to do all his work for him >Catches an army of Exeggutor and plans to use them to hypnotise everyone in town so they'll give him all their money (seriously) >Most important is pic related, the carnival owner who confronts Melvin about the army of Exeggutors and plans on firebombing them

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Anon has a medical condition | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/24/24(Fri)22:50:21 No.918852351 ile: IMG_1596.jpg (265 KB, 700x521) uncurable >Get BJ on prom night >Week later massive red spot on c--- >Herpes >F--- >doctor say this s--- is >No woman will want me >Struggle with shame and depression >Lose all interest in sex >Go years without being with a woman >Finally regain some self confidence >Brainwave.exe >Need woman who already has the disease >Find old h----- on craigslist >Looks pretty ragged on the blurred photo >Has probably had a million diseased cocks in her >Call her up >Explain I have herpes >Tell her I presume she has it too >Silence >Then she hangs up I dont know where to go from here bros

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Ebrahim Anon | /r/Greentext

WRSEURSEU ♥ Anonymous (ID: TXt3pfDL) 05/20/24(Mon)09:37:57 No.468598033 >>46859814 >>468599719 >>468599737 >>468601013 >>468601040 >>468601492 >>468602086 >>4686 >spends +15 hours trying to locate crashed helicopter of nation's president >couldn't start search because it was raining >had to be given nightvision technology from turkey because their drones had no nightvision >still couldn't find the helicopter or their president >had to be given coordinates of crash by a third party that simply checked the heat map >thinks they can win a war against Israel and the West ☐☐ Anonymous (ID: fqU3c9Pt) 05/20/24(Mon)09:39:47 No.468598134 >>46859932 Cousin f------ 80 IQ Muslim bros... ☐ Anonymous (ID: Bknwc3x3) 05/20/24(Mon)09:39:53 No.468598141 >>468604488 >>468598033 (OP) pretty embarrassing desu

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What tf is wrong with them | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 37987271 >psychic energy vampires keep creeping at my window at night what's their f------ problem JPG | 62.03 KB Saturday 2024-05-25 13:10:48 3 hours ago 5 Replies 0 Images 2< REPLY

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Anon deals with the devil | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I think I f----- up 10 KB JPG 05/23/24(Thu)21:20:34 No.37977423 >be me >having panic attack >pray to God to help me >nothing happens >pray to Satan to help me >feel better immediately >thinks to myself "damn I should pray to the devil more often >order food >food arrives >look at ticket number >666 >mfw How bad did I just f--- up? Will God forgive me for my sin? I'm scared bros

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Greentext Stories - Road to Berlin | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 53 KB JPG >night out comes >its in some club 05/26/24(Sun)21:09:38 No.77623625 >get a new job >chat to a few of my new coworkers >one of them says some people from work are going out on friday night and asks if i want to come >never had friends or anything so happily say yes >feel accepted for the first time in my life >about 20 people from work are there >club is full to bursting point >women are dressed like prostitutes and have so much makeup on they look like burn victims >guys are all dressed like t---- and are acting like t---- >try to chat to coworkers but can't because of the noise. >try to dance but can't because every time I move an inch I hit someone >don't like alcohol so forced to sit around drunk people for hours >almost everyone seems to be doing drugs as well >just sit there for hours till 1am not even able to think because its so noisy >go home wishing i'd never went >next day in work everyone says its one of the best nights out they've ever had Okay what the f--- am I missing here? Is this seriously what being a normie is like? I honestly had more fun the time I accidentally s--- myself as a teenager and had to smuggle my soiled boxers out of the house without anyone seeing or smelling them

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