Anon gets singled out | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

12m (05/25/24 16:31) 77618279 - 6 Re. 1 Img PNG 324KB (576 x 607) Download.png 3 Replies my apolocheese OP >coworkers asked me if i was excited for the 3 day weekend >wasnt thinking and said "oh sure i cant wait to spend another weekend rotting in my room crying my eyes out and cutting myself haha" just f----- up my whole work rep dude

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon discuss literary master sister trio | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 KB JPG 05/25/24(Sat)16:24:40 No.23422918 >be final surviving member of literary master sister trio >Destroy your sisters works because they're, idk, bad or offensive or whatever >Go down in history as the most talented and celebrated of the trio Why are women like this?

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Anon almost dies from norovirus | /r/Greentext

Anonymous THESE STUPID PIECES OF S--- CA(...) 05/25/24(Sat)03:19:01 No.2735828 avity Bag 9060 991 KB PNG >be a few hours innawoods camping >filter water with one of these badboys from a large, clear water lake >go to s--- one night, open my ass and its like the bathtub faucet was turned on >never shat like that in my life >whole camp is wretching within hours >we later learn we likely caught norovirus >am the only one strong enough to carry much gear and another guy has to be carried out >other guy is completely fine along with me, but within an hour he's keeled over puking everywhere barely keeping his face off the ground >we start the drive back >can't even make it, have to pull into a motel next to a hospital >within hours, we are delirious from dehydration as we puke 3.5x the volume of whatever we can drink >barely able to lift myself out of bed, make the call we gotta go to the hospital >collapse in the entry way, scared of my own reflection in the mirror when I see it >doctor hooks us up to IV >no longer insane after 15 minutes of the jesus hydration gravy train >tells me I was starting to die from dehydration >turns out these filters advertise as safe for camping, but very few filter viruses, and those that do are ultra slow DON'T USE THESE S------- EVER. ITS NOT WORTH IT. USE PURIFICATION TABS AND/OR BOIL WATER 20 Replies View Thread

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Anon analyzes a certain Pokémon episode. | /r/Greentext

►Anonymous 01/27/16 (Wed) 19:33:33 ID: bef0a2 No.4737009 File (hide): 1453952013985.png (Spoiler Image, 151.84 KB, 549x322, 549:322, hero of the episode.png) >>4734029 No movie I can think of but here's a cartoon, courtesy of /tv/'s thread on Angry Birds. It's the episode of Pokémon where the Charmander evolves. >Character of the week is Melvin the magician >He's not drawn like any other character in the show >>Shep haircut >>Big nose >>Beady little eyes >>The most heinous Jew accent ever to be on television >Vid of Melvin here: https://youtu.be /yymlq0tvGXo?t=1m38s The plot of the episode >Melvin's first seen getting scolded by a woman because he refuses to pay her >He's an eccentric cheapo >He is trying desperately to get into show business >Gets Misty on her own and pressures her into being his assistant and wearing a revealing outfit >He hypnotizes and brainwashes Ash to do all his work for him >Catches an army of Exeggutor and plans to use them to hypnotise everyone in town so they'll give him all their money (seriously) >Most important is pic related, the carnival owner who confronts Melvin about the army of Exeggutors and plans on firebombing them

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Anon has a medical condition | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/24/24(Fri)22:50:21 No.918852351 ile: IMG_1596.jpg (265 KB, 700x521) uncurable >Get BJ on prom night >Week later massive red spot on c--- >Herpes >F--- >doctor say this s--- is >No woman will want me >Struggle with shame and depression >Lose all interest in sex >Go years without being with a woman >Finally regain some self confidence >Brainwave.exe >Need woman who already has the disease >Find old h----- on craigslist >Looks pretty ragged on the blurred photo >Has probably had a million diseased cocks in her >Call her up >Explain I have herpes >Tell her I presume she has it too >Silence >Then she hangs up I dont know where to go from here bros

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Ebrahim Anon | /r/Greentext

WRSEURSEU ♥ Anonymous (ID: TXt3pfDL) 05/20/24(Mon)09:37:57 No.468598033 >>46859814 >>468599719 >>468599737 >>468601013 >>468601040 >>468601492 >>468602086 >>4686 >spends +15 hours trying to locate crashed helicopter of nation's president >couldn't start search because it was raining >had to be given nightvision technology from turkey because their drones had no nightvision >still couldn't find the helicopter or their president >had to be given coordinates of crash by a third party that simply checked the heat map >thinks they can win a war against Israel and the West ☐☐ Anonymous (ID: fqU3c9Pt) 05/20/24(Mon)09:39:47 No.468598134 >>46859932 Cousin f------ 80 IQ Muslim bros... ☐ Anonymous (ID: Bknwc3x3) 05/20/24(Mon)09:39:53 No.468598141 >>468604488 >>468598033 (OP) pretty embarrassing desu

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What tf is wrong with them | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 37987271 >psychic energy vampires keep creeping at my window at night what's their f------ problem JPG | 62.03 KB Saturday 2024-05-25 13:10:48 3 hours ago 5 Replies 0 Images 2< REPLY

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Anon deals with the devil | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I think I f----- up 10 KB JPG 05/23/24(Thu)21:20:34 No.37977423 >be me >having panic attack >pray to God to help me >nothing happens >pray to Satan to help me >feel better immediately >thinks to myself "damn I should pray to the devil more often >order food >food arrives >look at ticket number >666 >mfw How bad did I just f--- up? Will God forgive me for my sin? I'm scared bros

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Anon ponders about American politics | /r/Greentext

File: jrjfy4bxe4lc1.png (67 KB, 334x508) 1980 United States Senate election in North Carolina -1974 November 4, 1980 1986- Nominee John East Robert Morgan Party Republican Democratic Popular vote 898,064 887,653 Percentage 49.96% 49.38% Anonymous 02/28/24(Wed) 09:01:06 No.16331782 >named John East >wins every western district while losing in every eastern district What did he mean by this?

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Anon visits the family | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_20240524_104210293.jpg (635 KB, 3120x4160) We had to put a chicken down for /b/otulism Anonymous 05/24/24(Fri)23:30:32 No.4805965 >Visit my folks for the weekend >He and mom have like 24 chickens I love chickens, I feel at peace when I'm surrounded by chickens >The chicks escape the greenhouse >Spend like 2 hours getting them back inside, see picrel >Dog mauled one of the chickens last week >Chicken is infected >Rotting black-green skin, maggots everywhere Dad tried bringing the chicken inside, cleaning it with isopropyl alcohol, and saving the chicken >LostCause.jpg >Takes chicken out back >Shoots it with a 12 gauge to euthanize it >It explodes >He gives it a viking funeral pyre This story ultimately adds up to nothing, I just am sad a chicken died

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Anon is a sleuth | /r/Greentext

File: 1507418676688-468x475.png (239 KB, 468x475) ☐ Anonymous 05/25/24(Sat)01:07:28 No.918858168 >guy on grindr with no pic constantly hounding me bc he's super close >don't respond to him just ignore it >roommate goes camping >all of a sudden grindr guy isn't so close >curious >look up campsite >16 miles away >look at grindr guy >16 miles away >oh f--- I think my roommates banging the grindr guy Anonymous 05/25/24(Sat)01:09:20 No.918858263 >>918858168 How is the conclusion not that the roommate is the grindr guy?

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Anon is oblivious | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 239 KB PNG >16 miles away >oh f--- 05/24/24(Fri)22:07:28 No.918858168 >guy on grindr with no pic constantly hounding me bc he's super close >don't respond to him just ignore it >roommate goes camping >all of a sudden grindr guy isn't so close >curious >look up campsite >16 miles away >look at grindr guy I think my roommates banging the grindr guy : Anonymous >>918858168 (OP) # 05/24/24(Fri)22:09:20 No.918858263 How is the conclusion not that the roommate is the grindr guy?

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Abnormal activity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 117 KB JPG 03/27/24(Wed)03:21:46 No.37549755 >get phone stolen one night >get home in the early hours of the morning >open bedroom door >phone is on floor My whole worldview changed. Not larping

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