Anon f---- up | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 20 KB JPG >look at pc 10/17/20(Sat)15:37:32 No.838054717 >be me at 15 >share pc with family >dad screams at me >beats me up because I "installed a virus on the pc" >the neighbors call the police because they saw me getting his s--- kicked out >it's the windows 10 update

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Its bean good | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/24(Sun)08:24:39 No.917203625 SH'S My Style IMG_8290.jpg 25 KB JPG >wife asked me to subscribe to hulu so she could watch TV show >told her we don't have the money for that >she takes my phone while I'm asleep >found secret bank account >saw I had spent $150 last month on only fans >left note saying she was going to her mom's with the kids this is my dinner, how has your weekend bean?

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Anon explains how to have a fun night | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 145 KB PNG 04/15/24(Mon) 12:13:01 No.37703847 Benadryl is the secret to seeing the outer-world. >200mg to start seeing ghosts >250mg to start seeing reality for what it is >300mg to start having full conversations with the entities that control us >350mg to start going on adventures with the entities >400mg+ to open your mind and understand reality fully After doing this for a week for nearly a month, I can see through the simulation and have started to see reality creep in. The outer-world speaks to me when I'm sober more than ever. I'm going to continue to find the truth. Why haven't you taken the pink pill, anon?

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Could Be a Dream | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 04/21/24(Sun)17:14:00 No.77219070 315 KB PNG >Yes, we can walk through walls. They're called doors.

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Mods, I know you saw it, how could you let me read that? | /r/Greentext

its all s---- and giggles until Your kitty hass a stillbirth SOULSPENT

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Anon goes on a trip with his boss | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 04/21/24(Sun)15:45:22 No.917222981 >you're on a work trip >your boss booked your room for you >he told you he booked you an extra treat >walk into hotel room >see this wat do??

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Forest of Das poopenbrappin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >WW2 01/23/24(Tue)15:42:58 No.60744138 >Grandpa sent out on patrol through some dense forest with a couple of other guys >They're not paying attention, so they somehow stumble into a German patrol doing the exact same thing >Both groups almost at point-blank range >Everyone freezes >it's a Mexican standoff >Totally silent >Suddenly, one of the Germans farts >Really, really loudly >It echoes through the forest >Both sides start laughing uncontrollably >Wave each other off, go in opposite directions That K---- brap is why I'm here today >>60744927 # >>60745942 # >>60746234 #

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Anon makes a mistake | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 252 KB JPG 12/15/17(Fri)22:28:01 No.9722834 >feel bad for a lonely guy in my class >invite him to a cosplay event >he shows up dressed as Fred Flintstone in blackface >he keeps screaming "I yabba dabba dindu nuffin!" This was a f------ mistake.

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Anon configures his TV | /r/Greentext

File: r6u646u6.jpg (34 KB, 500x500) Anonymous 04/21/24(Sun)15:21:10 No.100118407 >>100118496 >>100118554 >>100118604 2004 >want better sound for TV >buy sound system >plug in power >plug in aux >done 2024 >want better sound for TV >buy sound system >plug in power and aux >nothing works >read manual >"you need to download this app to make it work" >negative 0.5 star rated app owned by the CCP >download >app won't start unless I give it access to my data, my microphone, camera and Bluetooth access to my grandpa's pacemaker >approve >app needs to update >continue reading manual 44 minutes later when update is done >the app now requires me to install a second app >download it and agree to only wear Pepsi merch for remainder of the year as part of user agreement >"You need to update the sound system" >"Please do not unplug sound system or turn off any other electrical appliance while update happens, warn your neighbours to do the same" >2 hours later update is done >continue reading manual >"Make sure the display shows that sound system is ready to pair with the subwoofer" >the entire display is just a singular point of light >"the light should now flash to the beat of the Uzbekistani national anthem..." >"...system is ready to pair when the Uzbeki government is overthrown and the light flashes to the new anthem" >finally press button on remote when ready >a bloop is heard and the light is no longer flashing >"Good job. Now onto step 2" >Cut out my own liver and mail it to Harrison Ford as part of the ritual >...

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You Think You're Cooler Than me | /r/Greentext

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It's called environmental story telling (shit writing) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/24(Sun)14:43:13 No. 198459664 THE WORLD DESERVES A BETTER ENDING Fallout prime APRIL 11 New Series images (81).jpg 59 KB JPG >200 years since bomb dropped >no agriculture, despite trees and animals everywhere >no one has repaired their houses >what few houses remain standing are still full of rubble and corpses It can't possible take 200 years to take some rubble out of your house and rebuild a roof.

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Anon takes his dogs for a walk | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: UGpmfMX6) 35 KB JPG 04/16/24(Tue)03:15:26 No.465144924 >be me >walking dogs >waiting for them to poop >girl walks past >20s, yoga mat, Starbucks >"hey cute doggies" >finishing email on my phone >I give her a quick glance and smile >"hi, how's going" I say politely >look back at my phone >she walks away >half way down the block calls over her shoulder aggressively >"I was saying hi to the DOGGIES!" what are the politically implications of this? Anonymous (ID: +U9rUsLH) 04/16/24(Tue)03:17:10 No.465145074 they see you as beneath them in looks I guess. should bark at them that would be just as logical

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Anon cracked the code | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Incel/virgin/loser Rocking roll is here to stay @neath waters People on Twitter: Having decorative pillows makes you part of the borgeouisie (?) People in real life: Hey man how's it going 8:21 PM - 4/8/23 5,636 Retweets 149 Quote Tweets 38.6K Likes 17 249 KB JPG 04/21/24(Sun)13:24:30 No.917213626 >Be 16 y/o >Don't workout >Eat like s--- >Most veggies I eat is at dinner and only because my parents make me >Don't care about appearance >Only watch edgy youtubers like FilthyFrank and Idubbbz >Only watch anime Why does nobody like me? FFW >Be 20 y/o >Pick up interest in boxing >Get fitter >Get more confident >Start trying out trendy hairstyles and clothing >People start to compliment my appearance >Start developing my own sense of style >With new confidence try to go to parties >Still a bit awkward but I push my way through >Learn some social skills and cues >Realise most people of different races and sexualities are pretty cool >Media and internet only covers the bad stuff >In general within your own circle (likeminded people like degree, work, etc.) they're pretty chill >Get a gf >Realise I simply should've stopped looking like a school shooter or raging misogynist to be approachable Was it really that simple all along?

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