Its bean good | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 04/21/24(Sun)08:24:39 No.917203625 SH'S My Style IMG_8290.jpg 25 KB JPG >wife asked me to subscribe to hulu so she could watch TV show >told her we don't have the money for that >she takes my phone while I'm asleep >found secret bank account >saw I had spent $150 last month on only fans >left note saying she was going to her mom's with the kids this is my dinner, how has your weekend bean?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon explains how to have a fun night | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 145 KB PNG 04/15/24(Mon) 12:13:01 No.37703847 Benadryl is the secret to seeing the outer-world. >200mg to start seeing ghosts >250mg to start seeing reality for what it is >300mg to start having full conversations with the entities that control us >350mg to start going on adventures with the entities >400mg+ to open your mind and understand reality fully After doing this for a week for nearly a month, I can see through the simulation and have started to see reality creep in. The outer-world speaks to me when I'm sober more than ever. I'm going to continue to find the truth. Why haven't you taken the pink pill, anon?

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Could Be a Dream | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 04/21/24(Sun)17:14:00 No.77219070 315 KB PNG >Yes, we can walk through walls. They're called doors.

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Mods, I know you saw it, how could you let me read that? | /r/Greentext

its all s---- and giggles until Your kitty hass a stillbirth SOULSPENT

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Anon goes on a trip with his boss | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 04/21/24(Sun)15:45:22 No.917222981 >you're on a work trip >your boss booked your room for you >he told you he booked you an extra treat >walk into hotel room >see this wat do??

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Forest of Das poopenbrappin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >WW2 01/23/24(Tue)15:42:58 No.60744138 >Grandpa sent out on patrol through some dense forest with a couple of other guys >They're not paying attention, so they somehow stumble into a German patrol doing the exact same thing >Both groups almost at point-blank range >Everyone freezes >it's a Mexican standoff >Totally silent >Suddenly, one of the Germans farts >Really, really loudly >It echoes through the forest >Both sides start laughing uncontrollably >Wave each other off, go in opposite directions That K---- brap is why I'm here today >>60744927 # >>60745942 # >>60746234 #

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Anon makes a mistake | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 252 KB JPG 12/15/17(Fri)22:28:01 No.9722834 >feel bad for a lonely guy in my class >invite him to a cosplay event >he shows up dressed as Fred Flintstone in blackface >he keeps screaming "I yabba dabba dindu nuffin!" This was a f------ mistake.

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Anon configures his TV | /r/Greentext

File: r6u646u6.jpg (34 KB, 500x500) Anonymous 04/21/24(Sun)15:21:10 No.100118407 >>100118496 >>100118554 >>100118604 2004 >want better sound for TV >buy sound system >plug in power >plug in aux >done 2024 >want better sound for TV >buy sound system >plug in power and aux >nothing works >read manual >"you need to download this app to make it work" >negative 0.5 star rated app owned by the CCP >download >app won't start unless I give it access to my data, my microphone, camera and Bluetooth access to my grandpa's pacemaker >approve >app needs to update >continue reading manual 44 minutes later when update is done >the app now requires me to install a second app >download it and agree to only wear Pepsi merch for remainder of the year as part of user agreement >"You need to update the sound system" >"Please do not unplug sound system or turn off any other electrical appliance while update happens, warn your neighbours to do the same" >2 hours later update is done >continue reading manual >"Make sure the display shows that sound system is ready to pair with the subwoofer" >the entire display is just a singular point of light >"the light should now flash to the beat of the Uzbekistani national anthem..." >"...system is ready to pair when the Uzbeki government is overthrown and the light flashes to the new anthem" >finally press button on remote when ready >a bloop is heard and the light is no longer flashing >"Good job. Now onto step 2" >Cut out my own liver and mail it to Harrison Ford as part of the ritual >...

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You Think You're Cooler Than me | /r/Greentext

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It's called environmental story telling (shit writing) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/24(Sun)14:43:13 No. 198459664 THE WORLD DESERVES A BETTER ENDING Fallout prime APRIL 11 New Series images (81).jpg 59 KB JPG >200 years since bomb dropped >no agriculture, despite trees and animals everywhere >no one has repaired their houses >what few houses remain standing are still full of rubble and corpses It can't possible take 200 years to take some rubble out of your house and rebuild a roof.

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Anon takes his dogs for a walk | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: UGpmfMX6) 35 KB JPG 04/16/24(Tue)03:15:26 No.465144924 >be me >walking dogs >waiting for them to poop >girl walks past >20s, yoga mat, Starbucks >"hey cute doggies" >finishing email on my phone >I give her a quick glance and smile >"hi, how's going" I say politely >look back at my phone >she walks away >half way down the block calls over her shoulder aggressively >"I was saying hi to the DOGGIES!" what are the politically implications of this? Anonymous (ID: +U9rUsLH) 04/16/24(Tue)03:17:10 No.465145074 they see you as beneath them in looks I guess. should bark at them that would be just as logical

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Anon cracked the code | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Incel/virgin/loser Rocking roll is here to stay @neath waters People on Twitter: Having decorative pillows makes you part of the borgeouisie (?) People in real life: Hey man how's it going 8:21 PM - 4/8/23 5,636 Retweets 149 Quote Tweets 38.6K Likes 17 249 KB JPG 04/21/24(Sun)13:24:30 No.917213626 >Be 16 y/o >Don't workout >Eat like s--- >Most veggies I eat is at dinner and only because my parents make me >Don't care about appearance >Only watch edgy youtubers like FilthyFrank and Idubbbz >Only watch anime Why does nobody like me? FFW >Be 20 y/o >Pick up interest in boxing >Get fitter >Get more confident >Start trying out trendy hairstyles and clothing >People start to compliment my appearance >Start developing my own sense of style >With new confidence try to go to parties >Still a bit awkward but I push my way through >Learn some social skills and cues >Realise most people of different races and sexualities are pretty cool >Media and internet only covers the bad stuff >In general within your own circle (likeminded people like degree, work, etc.) they're pretty chill >Get a gf >Realise I simply should've stopped looking like a school shooter or raging misogynist to be approachable Was it really that simple all along?

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Attractive virgin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 556 KB PNG talking about sex 04/20/24(Sat) 17:15:48 No.77204993 >Be good looking virgin guy >23 yo >supposedly women want virgin guys >can pull dates easily >go on dates with women from decent places (church, book clubs, other clubs) >by the 3rd or 4th date we start >be honest and tell them I am a virgin >get ghosted This has happen 5 times already, should I just hire some escorts and lose my v-card? I wanted my first time to be with someone I love. Anonymous >>77204993 (OP) # >women want virgins 04/20/24(Sat) 17:18:01 No.77205012 Where did you hear this? Women want men that have had a lot of sex. >more experience = better in bed >feel good about themselves because they got a guy who was apparently in demand yes this is retarded obviously, but women don't think critically

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