Anon has a fight with his coworker | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous I'm in legal trouble 54 KB JPG 04/12/24(Fri)18:00:56 No.77109299 >had fight with female coworker who insulted me for no reason >I was being extremely cruel and telling her that her life had no meaning, her husband hates her, she's worthless etc... >she fell to her knees and started rocking back and forth and crying, facing away from me, I keep repeating the same insults while she has her mental breakdown. >she suddenly stops. >I look at her to see if she's alright: apparently when she was rocking back and forth she was deliberately hitting her face against a hard surface, her entire face is completely mangled up and she will need extensive surgery just to look deformed by the end. I had no idea she was doing that. >I am being sued for attempted murder despite not even touching her. >no one will believe my story. : Anonymous 04/12/24(Fri)18:04:32 No. 77109338 honestly anon I find it hard to believe that she was hitting her head hard enough to mangle it and you thought it was a simple rocking back and forth.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Lore purists are funny | /r/Greentext

Anonymous So Vault tech nuked America There's a lot of earning potential with the end of the world. 534 KB JPG 04/16/24(Tue)23:06:46 No.673665312 Let me get this straight. For over 20 years the lore was >China launched the first strike Now it's >these greedy capitalist organisation run by greedy rich billionaires deliberately nuked the world so they could run these obscure experiments on people vaults This is your lore when it's written by Indians. Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed)02:15:01 No.67367628 >>673665312 (OP) 411 KB PNG

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Anon doesn't have netflix | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 220 KB JPG TV now? 04/18/24(Thu)06:54:40 No.198358421 >anon, what are you doing with that really long cable from behind your TV? >oh you're just charging your laptop? >wait...what do you mean the movie will come from the laptop? >w-- why is your laptop on the >ummm why does your browser have like 50 tabs open? >we have to wait for what? a torrent? >anon just open netflix??? >anon I don't know what a VPN is or why it's not working right now. >ok anon I gotta go now, bye Door closes.

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Anon hates modern headlights | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 2bl0sn4V 04/17/24(Wed)14:21:42 No.465324838 >>465332008 >>465332250 File: 5905088eiis81.jpg (118 KB, 1247x939) >>465320228 (OP) >Muh heart attacks of boomers that would have died from a cold breeze of air 5 minutes later anyway >Not how they're blinding people and causing crashes due to, ironically, lack of vision I HATE JOURNOSCUM. And i hate LED headlights. Not the technology itself, but the execution and legal aspects. I only need to see far enough to stop in time and it only needs to be bright enough to see the road. Same for everyone else. Bulbs achieved this purpose already. The warm yellow instead of harsh blue was comfy. Best was what we called "french yellow" but i suppose zoomers and burgers don't know about that. But wait, there's more! >Headlights used to be glass and could be polished clear again if they turned milky after 20 years >Light element separate from housing, cheap and easy DIY fix, bulbs at every gas station for chump change >Now they're plastic and the LED cluster is integral with the housing >Also it's illegal to replace individual LEDs, gotta change the whole cluster because it's a "EU certified" part you're not allowed to "manipulate". >A 5 euro problem is now a 1000 euro problem >Normie: hurr hurr just leasecu*k and accept ever more assisted driving and surveillance, what are you, some sort of "ewiggestriger" ("eternalpaster", our version of deplorable, you're not allowed to notice things are getting worse if f--- say it's "progress" for "safety") I felt pride, solidarity and childlike joy when plebbitors were seething that Ivans systematically destroyed every EV they could find. Everything after 2012 should be destroyed. It's when sensor and nanny mania began. Pic related, says "Elon Musk is a d---" for making the rolling antichrist abomination from Demolition Man real. After they neutralized it so it can't do any more harm, of course. TOTAL MODERNCAR DEATH.

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Short kings... its so over. Will we recover? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: OiYA7jUW) 38 KB JPG 03/22/24(Fri)12:20:47 No.462551304 >tfw not 8'11 Chad It's over Anonymous (ID: eAIE5ddf 03/22/24(Fri)12:21:38 No.462551371 >>462551304 (OP) # the way they look at him bros... 6'3cels it's over.

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Anon loves Shanin Blake | /r/Greentext

1/7 2Ar6DpPt (OP) US 39m (04/16/24 22:13) 465221898 108 Re 17 Img JPG 342KB (1440x1799) GJvpldQXEAA6Bha.jpg_large.jpg 42 Replies Shanin Blake >understands race >hates the government >understands natural healing powers >rejects goyslop > understands what the pyramids are for >won't go near n >convers with the mixed olmecs to find out more about blue eyes golden skinned hyberboreans of times past >openly expresses that she loves her race No wonder fat goys, ni ers, and jews hate her. 1/1 BL5b9Gka US 38m (04/16/24 22:14) 465222004 4 Replies >>465221898 (OP) WHAT THE F--- IS THAT

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Anon gives a lonely guy a chance | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 252 KB JPG 12/15/17(Fri)22:28:01 No.9722834 >feel bad for a lonely guy in my class >invite him to a cosplay event >he shows up dressed as Fred Flintstone in blackface >he keeps screaming "I yabba dabba dindu nuffin!" This was a f------ mistake.

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Anon the window counter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)16:51:08 No.72163100 >Be me. NEET f-- >Go to pick up my little brother from his school. >Standing outside waiting with other parents. >Autistic so I look up at the school and start counting the windows. >Notice movement in one if the windows. >Its a pigeon trapped between the glass and window drape. W--.png >Kids come out with their teachers. >Tell little bro to go and let his teacher know about the bird. Good deed of the day.mp4 >We leave after he come back FF to next day. >Pick up bro again. Ask him about his teacher and her reaction to the bird problem. MFW he tells me, "They saved the bird. But she also laughed at you for just looking up and staring at windows."

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Anon's GF experiments with Meme Magic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/04/21(Thu)23:37:30 No.9970552 >>9970421 okay let me try >relaxing one day texting your gf >she says she's got a surprise >ground trembles suddenly >EARTHQUAKE! >shadow falls over your backyard >it's GF >she's 200 feet tall and practically bouncing with energy >"Anon anon it finally happened I'm huge!" >nothing in your life so far has prepared you for this situation >"H-how" >"Anon I was on that website you said I shouldn't go to and I got like 5 digits in a row in my reply post where I said tfw I will never grow 200 feet tall and have a boyfriend who respawns on death!" >oh god she's powered by meme magic >p-praise kek? >"Okay let's see if the other half of my post worked" >giant shoe blocks out the sun >yell "wait" but she stomps down >oh f--- that hurts >all your bones break >feel yourself pop >blink and you're standing in your backyard next to her giant foot >unharmed >lifts up and there's a red stain where you were in your lawn chair a minute ago >scoops you up and holds you in front of her face >"Anon I'm gonna go smash up downtown wanna come?" >nod feebly >"Okay great you wanna ride in my hair or somewhere... dirty teehee" >shakily pull up /x/ on your smartphone and start asking how meme magic works

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Anon likes Natascha | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed)15:44:38 No.673705387 >>673706924 >>673709595 File: 16499083088150.jpg (56 KB, 398x326) >2 days ago >banana bay >playing shotgun heavy, doing alright but not amazing >decide to use primary which happened to be natasha >their team is entirely scout, pyro and demoknight >absolutely wipe ass >*DEAD*enemy topscorer: guess we're not allowed to have fun anymore because he decided to play natasha >(enemy topscorer has disconnected) >more people slowly getting p----- in chat >2 more people on my team go natasha >wipe the floor with them in the second round too >topscore by a mile Almost forgot how fun this game can be, especially if people actually f------ use the chat function

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/tg/ Anon wins | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/05/23(Tue)20:43:24 No. 10750971 >Be hero >Also be really smol >Wield a mighty sword (thumbtack) and shield (shell of beetle) >First monster he "fights' is a basic orc >Pisses herself laughing at the sight of tiny anon. Falls on the floor in hysterics at this pint sized paladin. >Counts as a victory for anon though. Gets exp and everything. >Decides to follow him (very slowly he cant walk very fast) because its funny. >And maybe just a little endearing. >This repeats >A lot >Soon tiny anon is walking around with his "subjugated" army of monster girls including an ancient dragon (hadn't seen a person in millennia and wanted company) and a general of the monster lord (the pay is s---) >Nobody tells him he isnt so mighty. They're either softies, or afraid of provoking the wrath of the softies.

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It's joeover Anon time to ropemax I guess | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ITS OVER 04/03/24(Wed)16:57:39 No.76999872 >Be born and get only one chance at life >End up only 5ft 4in tall 15 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon failed the test | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 90 KB JPG 04/17/24(Wed)21:39:49 No. 198346990 >When I was sixteen, I won a great victory. I felt in that moment I would live to be a hundred. Now I know I shall not see thirty. None of us know our end, really, or what hand will guide us there. >A king may move a man, a father may claim a son, but remember that even when those who move you be kings, or men of power, your soul is in your keeping alone. When you stand before God, you cannot say, "But I was told by others to do thus." Or that, "Virtue was not convenient at the time." This will not suffice. Remember that. How do you respond without sounding like an atheist? : Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed) 21:40:55 No. 198347019 I quote whatever passage of the bible is most convenient for what I wanted to do anyway >>198347235 #

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