/tg/ Anon wins | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 09/05/23(Tue)20:43:24 No. 10750971 >Be hero >Also be really smol >Wield a mighty sword (thumbtack) and shield (shell of beetle) >First monster he "fights' is a basic orc >Pisses herself laughing at the sight of tiny anon. Falls on the floor in hysterics at this pint sized paladin. >Counts as a victory for anon though. Gets exp and everything. >Decides to follow him (very slowly he cant walk very fast) because its funny. >And maybe just a little endearing. >This repeats >A lot >Soon tiny anon is walking around with his "subjugated" army of monster girls including an ancient dragon (hadn't seen a person in millennia and wanted company) and a general of the monster lord (the pay is s---) >Nobody tells him he isnt so mighty. They're either softies, or afraid of provoking the wrath of the softies.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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It's joeover Anon time to ropemax I guess | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ITS OVER 04/03/24(Wed)16:57:39 No.76999872 >Be born and get only one chance at life >End up only 5ft 4in tall 15 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon failed the test | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 90 KB JPG 04/17/24(Wed)21:39:49 No. 198346990 >When I was sixteen, I won a great victory. I felt in that moment I would live to be a hundred. Now I know I shall not see thirty. None of us know our end, really, or what hand will guide us there. >A king may move a man, a father may claim a son, but remember that even when those who move you be kings, or men of power, your soul is in your keeping alone. When you stand before God, you cannot say, "But I was told by others to do thus." Or that, "Virtue was not convenient at the time." This will not suffice. Remember that. How do you respond without sounding like an atheist? : Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed) 21:40:55 No. 198347019 I quote whatever passage of the bible is most convenient for what I wanted to do anyway >>198347235 #

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They know Anon, they know | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Oh no 04/17/24(Wed)07:22:58 No.673692218 h8tqrtv7ov161.png 551 KB PNG >be me >look up r34 of gacha character >log into gacha for daily log in reward >outta curiosity check to see what banners are up >see the character I've just beat my meat to >f--- it we ball >spend a single free summon >expecting to get trash >get the character >mfw D do do they know?

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gacha moment | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 04/08/24(Mon)01:52:01 No.1445429 File: IN THE END.png (426 KB, 500x500) ONE STAGE I DON'T KNOW WHY I GRINDED AN EVENT WITH NO MATS TO BUY KEEP THAT IN MIND THEY DESIGNED THIS STRIFE TO INCREASE OPERATOR GRIND AND THAT'S ALL I KNOW IN GACHA GAMES, ROLLS ARE KEY WATCH THEM FLY BY AS THEIR STARS ARE THREE

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anon is a mosquito | /r/Greentext

Tweet N----- Be WILIN @NiggazWILIN bitches really be gettin horny over some veins... are u a mosquito 1:45 PM · Mar 17, 2020. Twitter for iPad 4.3K Retweets 21.5K Likes 27 ↑

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Anons discuss mirrors | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed)19:36:16 No.917020463 >>917022547 >>917020653 >>917020687 >>917020737 >>9170210 I don't get why mirrors flip everything left to right but not top to bottom. makes no f------ sense to me. Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed)19:48:31 No.917020653 >>917020463 (OP) They don't... Cameras do that though. >>917021184 >> Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed)19:51:17 No.917020687 >>917020463 (OP) Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed)19:54:40 No.917020737 File: Devil's Mirror 3927.gif (98 KB, 500x500) >>917020463 (OP) Mirrors are the Devil! Retard.

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Anon notices something | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: LDS6Tipe) E 04/13/24(Sat)22:48:02 No.464873477 1691258463598259.jpg >israel is attacked 16 KB JPG >bitcoin immediately goes down the s------ Coincidence? Anonymous (ID: LMCGrxrg >>464873477 (OP) # 04/13/24(Sat) 22:50:07 No.464873785 >bibisi, t----- and non political threads also down mods should be permabanning these f---

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anon's wife gets scammed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 67 KB JPG Another one >Be me 04/17/24(Wed)06:33:51 No.917000421 >Be me >Door to the garage won't stay shut because the latch is busted >Put something in front of the door >Wife gets mad, tells me to just lock it >Explain that if the latch doesn't work, the lock will not work >proceeds to keep locking the door and wonders why it keeps opening up. >Wife complains that her car blows cold air >It's winter, thinking her heater core wasn't working >Works fine >Keeps telling me it isn't warm until she gets to work >Tell her the engine needs to be warm for the heat to work >Tell her to warm the car up >Takes car to mechanic >he changes the heater core >nothing changes >Charged $700 Is my wife retarded?

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Anon is American | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/23/19(Sun)07:07:59 No.802961509 20190623_080514.jpg 1.53 MB JPG I'm about to give myself a root canal/filling. I have no dental training. But the pain is more than I can bare. Ask me anything. I'm scared guys.

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Gay Testing | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/16/24(Tue)08:52:10 No.916972981 >me, 12, dumb as s--- >him, 16, older brother >good relationship >I have close group of friends >The four of us always together >One day brother and I talking >"So who's the f--?" >"What?" >"Just saying, group of you like that, as close as you are, one of you is bound to be a f--." >gets me defensive but thinking >he keeps going off on this >any time friends over he brings it up to us >one time we are having a sleep over >brother comes over to us tells us that he has a sure fire way to figure it out >tells us all to get naked >if gay we'd get hard being with other naked guys >we all agree to do >nothing >step 2 brother says, start touching each other >that's gay one friend says >"No, if you aren't gay you could care less that you're touching a d---, a real f-- would get rock hard with a c--- in their hand." >we see his logic >"what if we get hard?" >"proves nothing, any guy would get hard having their c--- played with. Means you're a man." >we all start jerking each other off >soon fighting begins over who was hard and when >"Man can't believe you f--- are making me do this. We need to go to the final stage." >brother comes over to me and starts sucking me off >I freeze >like two minutes of silence as everybody watches my brother giving me head >"See how my d--- got soft doing that s---? I didn't like it so proves I'm straight. Notice how anon didn't c--, because he didn't like it either. You f--- get it?" >nod >becomes a big suck fest >next hour we are all jerking it and sucking it, me and my friends and my brother >after awhile my brother stands up >"Guess I was wrong none of you are gay. My bad boys." >he leaves and the was an awkward air about the rest of the sleepover >every so often my brother would tell me he was worried about his sexuality and if it was cool if we did gay testing Cut to 10 years later >brother has family over >introduces us to his bf and comes up >family shocked >me, "I knew him c------ in my mouth wasn't an accident!"

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It is funny that Russia went from being criticized for being radical leftists to being criticized for being christofascists. | /r/Greentext

36KiB, 868x581, Screenshot 2024-02-13 205544.png Anonymous Tue 13 Feb 2024 21:04:33 No. 193710916 Quoted By: >>193710960 >>193710991 >>193711240 >>193711320 >>193711369 >>193711818 >>193711872 >>193711945 >>193713309 >Literally banned religion, deeming it backwards. >One of the first countries to give female soldiers medals of honor. >Made posters criticizing American /pol/tards (KKK) from the time. View >Built universities to import third worlders to Russia to provide them education. >Made a movie about how unlike "AmeriKKa", nobody cares about interracial marriage in Russia, which literally ended with various eastern european ethnicities singing a lullaby to a mixed baby. (Circus 1936) Why does /pol/ like to laud them as "defenders of traditional values" when they were the OG leftists.?

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Anon finds out politics turns people into zombies | /r/Greentext

>Found out friends ostracized me for this. Politics ruins friendships Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed)01:04:17 No.917015911 >Be me in the 2010s, in my 20s. >Friends come to ask me to join them >Expecting the usual pizza, vidya, and b-movie riffing, always a good time. >Friends don't have movie or vidya up "What's up?" >"Oh hey anon, we're talking about [Current Political BS], we want your opinion." >Decide to be honest with them, they are my friends after all "Sorry, I don't know enough about the current political culture to make a valid argument or opinion, I'd rather not say anything that would be intrinsically wrong." >"Anon, you live in this f------ country, you HAVE to have an opinion!" >MFW my friends to try to put me into conversational hostage over this. >Decide to rebuke "Look guys, how about we just get a pizza, and fire up some Injustice 2?" >"Anon, we're adults, we talk politics now." >I just leave because I don't wanna deal with that b-------. Since when is being smart enough to know that I don't know something a bad thing? Politics has really ruined things for me and it's kind of sad because I miss my friends on who they used to be, it's like bodysnatchers.

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