Anon meets the robin hood | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 6 hours ago >1 in the morning 434656828 >GF at the time wanted to get food and rent a movie to fool around to before bed >Stop by a redbox at a walgreens near her place >Black guy dressed like f------ Peter Pan or something pulls up to us in his car by the redbox >Figure, "oh s--- here we go, going to have to fight some nog" >"Nah y'all don't need to be paying for that now, f--- a redbox my dude" >Hands us a Wal-Mart bag filled with about 40 burnt disks with recent movie titles on them >Backseat is full of these bags >Go to shake his hand and say "Jesus man, thanks. What's your name?" >"Who me? Y'all can just call me... N---- ROBIN HOOD!" >Dude peels out of the parking lot and speeds off into the night >GF and I confused as f--- >Go home, put in the disks >About half of the movies are HD rips of what the disks says they are, other half are actually just filled to the brim with new brazzers scenes Unironically the most based dude I've ever met 6 REPLIES

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is a receptionist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:18:37 No.650816867 ►>>650816966 >>650817694>>650818031 >>650820819 File: 1446832947686.png (316 KB, 579x579) >work the front desk at a hotel in Galveston, Tx >easy day, just dicking around on my phone when IT enters the lobby >half man, half beanbag chair, easily 400+ lbs. >start praying that the once human entity doesn't trip, fall and collapse the building with me inside >beanbag man gets to the counter and leans on it, visibly out of breath >"H-Hi, checking in?" >planet Ham of the McDonald's galaxy tells me he has a reservation for a room on the 7th floor >take his card, give him his key, yadda yadda yadda >entire time I'm holding back gagging because he smells like roadkill >hamgalaxy starts making his way to the elevators >get an idea >"Sir, I apologize but the elevator is out of order. You'll have to take the stairs to the 7th floor." >7th. F------. Floor. >his face when >dis n---- gon die.fat >the walking heart attack breaths a deep sigh, preparing himself for the journey ahead. >hop over to the security cams because I know this s---'s gon be good >Lardex, Destroyer of Buffets takes 3 minutes to clear the first flight of stairs For comparison, you can get to the second floor in about 10 seconds at a brisk walk >gets to second floor, immediately gets a coke from the vending machine, plops down on a chair and rests >concerned for the structural integrity of that chair Some time later I went to check on the chair, it was, no f------ joke, soaked in ass sweat. Had to throw it out as to not spread his beetus. >the human garbage disposal sits there, contemplating all the bad decisions that got him that fat for about 5 minutes >have to tend to some work for about ten minutes >apparently people were wondering why the building was caving in >get back to the cameras and see white shrek on the third floor >swear to God, lying on the floor >people would walk over or past him like the pile of garbage he was cont. Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:19:30 No.650816966 >>650817553 >>650817694>>650817823 >>650817999 >>650819741 >>650819773 >>650820077 >>650820295 >>650820718 >>650820798 >>650820819 >>650816867 >stairs to the 4th floor are being renovated >the few at the top are just wooden planks on one side >leave some police tape kinda stuff in the middle of the stairs to direct people >fatsy can't fit on the good half of the stairs >mumbling to myself "Come oooooonnn... Do iiiiiittt." >Snorlax steps too far to the right >steps on a wooden plank >it cracks under his quadruple digit weight >man-t--- is now waist deep in floor >Prayers answered.gov >calls the front desk to bitch at us >tell him we had warnings all over the f------ place >"OH, (DEEP BREATHING) WELL CAN YOU GUYS (GASP FOR AIR) AT LEAST SEND SOMEONE UP (SANDWICH) TO HEL-" >hang up >manboobs kind of waddles himself out by rolling back and forth Pretty impressive actually >reaches the 4th >half way there, the destination is at ham >clears the 5th stairway, no problem after about 42 years >gets to the top of the 6th stairway, his floor is just 4 steps away >hamplanet braces himself, leaning on the wall >what the f--- this n---- doin.burger >fatsy bends over and just vomits >not just a little spittle, like a baby, he is recreating Niagra f------ falls with vomit >puddles at his feet and trickles down the steps like a beautiful river >see chunks of undigested food/people in the gallons of vomit and stomach acid >the man of a thousand lunches just lifts his head, wipes his mouth with his wrist and just keeps going >unphased by the lake of spew he goes to his room >a lone Viking, crossing the fabled plains, towards his final resting place in Valhalla Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:26:28 No.650817823 >>650816966 HOLY F------ KEK OF ALL KEKS I HAVENT LAUGHED SO HARD INA LONG TIME. Thanks anon Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:48:26 No.650820819 File: kermit_Lol.gif (63 KB, 120x120) LOL >>650816867 >>650816966 TOP KEK screenshotting this. Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:25:26 No.650817694 ► File: 1438956505392.jpg (115 KB, 413x395) >>650816867 >>650816966 11/10 my sides are in another dimension. Oh f--- I hope that is real. Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:48:18 No.650820798 ► >>650816966 >the destination is at ham F------ dying Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:24:23 No.650817553 >>650816966 >a lone Viking, crossing the fabled plains, towards his final resting place in Valhalla tears are rolling down my face, good job anon

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Anon is losing | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 45243472 42,2 KB JPG >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" >... >He's technically right >I am losing a lot of fat 3 REPLIES O IMAGES Anonymous | 45243502 Nice keep going man REPLY

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Anon did a little thing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 845 KB JPG 04/15/24(Mon) 16:10:36 No.77141403 >marriage was all but finished >we'd just let it go and silently knew the writing was on the wall >driving to work one morning >someone on the radio said "text your partner and just say I love you." >Did it. >It was the reset we needed >20 years on still happy Thanks DJ.

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Anon hates the fallout show | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >shady sands is now in LA 04/14/24(Sun)17:38:18 No.673444995 >some sort of massive "fall" in shady sands had occurred that no one talked about in New Vegas >shady sands is nuked after its "fall" by Vault-Tec >the NCR has seemingly been completely wiped out from their heartland, barely any remnants remain, all of their infrastructure and massive population has basically been reduced to nothing >the Brotherhood of Steel goes from barely existing at all to being an immensely powerful force in less than two decades. Despite this, they are depicted in the show as being extremely incompetent and their culture is not faithful to the games >Caesar's Legion is nonexistent >New Vegas is shown to be largely/completely abandoned with destroyed securitrons and crashed vertibirds >Vault-Tec is hinted to have started the great war by nuking. America and/or China >House was aware they might do this and was at the meeting when it was discussed, meaning that House's story he told in New Vegas was largely a lie. >Sinclair was also at this meeting and was representing Big MT >power armor, the technology that was so successful it allowed America to push into China, is shown to have a vulnerability that allows its wearer to be killed by a single shot to the front of the suit >Vault-Tec are now a major faction >the Brotherhood of Steel are now a major faction >somehow, the Enclave has returned In conclusion, the NCR, House, and the Legion have essentially been wiped off the map, replaced by the Brotherhood of Steel, the Enclave, and Vault-Tec, who are now the major factions of the setting. A single season of bethesda's and amazon's "fallout" have undone everything that Fallout 1, Fallout 2, and Fallout New Vegas had built. The west coast is now the east coast wearing a cowboy hat.

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Worldoftshirts.exe | /r/Greentext

Anonymous We are witnessing a legendary (...) 04/15/24(Mon)12:01:15 No.77141669 mook backstage 11 KB JPG > be me > Has autism > dont have a lot of friends growing up > decide to make YouTube videos because why not > gets around 20-30 views > start uploading random skits to tiktok > gains a following > one video is me singing Empire State of Mind by jay z > everyone loves it > signs a record deal > the deal gets canceled > oh anyway lets travel to New York > starts live streaming > gets a huge following > start charging people to take selfies with me > make a quick buck here and there > decides to try alcohol > tasty.png > slowly but surely develop alcoholism > travel around Europe meeting fans > due to being intoxicated I find myself involved in conflicts > have outburst and scream to bystanders > REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.exe > keeps drinking > dye my hair Oompa Loompa green > people start following me and steal my iconic hat > still Believe I have genuine fans when in reality people just like to troll me > everything gets uploaded online Autism is one hell of a drug

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Anon Has Been Watching Invincible | /r/Greentext

File: 1700422065444.jpg (111 KB, 1920x1080) ☐ Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)11:02:56 No. 143184347 >>143184382 >>143184412 >>143184774 >>143185135 >>143186034 >>143186156 >>143186444 >>143186460 >>143189621 >>143190981 >>143191009 Well, /co/. Would you Monster Girl? Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)11:03:59 No.143184360 >>143184389 >>143184396 >>143184482 >>143184493 >>143184502 >>143184562 >>143187057 >Looks like my sister >acts like my sister >has the same name No >> Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)11:18:48 No.143184562 >>143184360 >looks like anons sister >acts like anons sister >has the same name Yes ☐ Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)11:22:39 No.143184619 >>143190005 File: IMG_0633.jpg (64 KB, 800x450) The law requires that I answer "no" ☐ Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)16:51:29 No.143190005 >>143184619 underrated ☐ Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)17:38:41 No.143190390 >Viltrumites live for thousands of years >Mark is effectively a baby by their standards Does that make Anissa a r----- AND p--------? Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)19:25:42 No.143190981 >>143184347 (OP). sexxo ☐ Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)19:34:56 No.143191009 >>143184347 (OP). Honestly she's kind of a bitch.

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Anon is doomed to have to breed with a water buffalo-esque sort of female. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Ael5ywFW) 04/15/24(Mon)01:41:59 No.465054964 Follow BROKIES BEWARE A A don't hmu unless you're at 8+ figures/month and > 6'2.*+ Big is optional but preferred. I love cosplay and boba tea ratemytwat.co/ Joined December 2020 2 Following 80K Followers Not followed by anyone you're following 184 KB JPG Scrolling through x and come across this. I don't really speak to that many women, but she seemed to be really cute, as far as her pics go. Do all cuties have this high standards?? I'm in my late 20s, and don't think I'll ever be at 8 figs + per month. Ever since school I dreamed of one day marrying a hottie like her, but this keeps seeming more unlikely as time passes. Does this mean I'm doomed to have to breed with a water buffalo-esque sort of female? 175 Replies / 30 Images View Thread Anonymous (ID: Bp1DHXn) 04/15/24(Mon)04:26:04 No.465062730 >>465054964 (OP). Yes if you're hell-bent of staying in the west. If you earn decently well ($50k+/year), have reasonable social skills and are at least average looking, then you can move to a tier-3 country (Thailand, Colombia, etc) and land a hottie there.

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Anon plays the sims | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 21 KB JPG house 08/25/19(Sun)23:34:20 No.808028749 >Be me, 26 >Buys The Sims for PC >Create character that looks like me. >Get a job, and a wife. >Have a kid >Successful in career and nice >Close down the game >Stare into a blank screen while drinking heavily. I keep telling myself it's not too late, but deep inside I know it will never happen.

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Anon usedvanlig their spare time om tiktok | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 125 KB JPG 04/15/24(Mon)04:45:54 No.77139268 >install tiktok >become faceless contrarian shitposter >take the most extreme opposing view always >normies lose their minds >inbox full of seethe >they even post video essays about my comments i havent had this much fun on the internet in years. try it for yourselves anons 3 Replies View Thread

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anon goes to the doctor | /r/Greentext

12:24 ill 26% : Anonymous 02/29/24(Thu)00:11:33 No.76623881 TARD JAIL >be me, go to doctor >"there's something wrong with how fat your nuts are" >don't understand the rest >doctor leaves room for a 25 KB JPG min >afraid he'll want to keep touching my balls >want to leave but too afraid I'll be caught before my appointment is finished >try to escape out the window >accidentally break it >panic and start kicking window >whole thing just pops out and falls to the ground >forgot I'm on the 2nd story >too late to turn back now >jump out window, hit ground >foot hurts >alot >remember I'm at a Dr's office >go back inside to get foot looked at >think they won't recognize me >they recognize me >police show up >I'm arrested, charged with destruction of property >foot still hurts, nuts still fat I'm due to show up in court in like a month. What do? I'm too retarded to be trusted with adulthood. : Anonymous 02/29/24(Thu)00:16:48 No.76623919 Dude. What thef f---. |||

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Anon gets good advice | /r/Greentext

File: piyvqltbipj51.png (794 KB, 1080x1210) how tf do i progress from here 1 reply omitted. Click here to view. ☐ life after HS Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)21:06:01 No.916901845 [Reply] >>916902167 >>916902291 >be me >19, pushing 20 >spend all of my day on my computer or phone >consume fast food all day everyday >graduated HS almost a year ago >lost all my friends and acquaintances after HS >completely isolated, zero friends >never asked a girl out, never had a relationship >decide to lose virginity to some chubby escort because im tired and ashamed of being a virgin >pressured by my family to pursue a future in the medical field that I never want or care about >got rejected from the University I wanted to go to due to poor choices I made in HS >forced to go to a s----- community college >classes are full of older people who i cant relate or make friends with >work a s----- dead-end part time job with no human interaction >continuing to do what i do because i have no other escape >smoke weed everyday to escape the harsh reality of my life and future Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)21:13:38 No.916902167 >>916901845 (OP) take this advice from someone whos been where you are (now 28 with wife and baby and own home) >quit smoking weed >start saving money and investing it even if its small, always pay yourself first >cut the fast food and start eating real food you will feel way better >if you want to make friends join a local club (something you like, chess, soccer, volleyball, even a church if you are religious) >if you want to find a girl use tinder/bumble/POF its not hard but dont make your world revolve around her either. figure out your own life and who you are as a person first. >lastly make a plan to get a better job, so you can really save more and improve your life. this usually starts with school and networking >get off 4chan and go outside Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)21:14:41 No.916902206 Knock off the fast food and weed. Youre asking to be poor and suffer doing that. As for the rest f--- if I know. Try vshred and see if it works. Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)21:16:22 No.916902291 >>916901845 (OP) Life is full of disappointment Anon. Find happiness in the present moment, and be content with what you have. Then just live from that place and let your path unfold with grace and gratitude. You're only 20, just be.

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Always love yourself more than you love a woman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 59 KB JPG 04/14/24(Sun)19:21:16 No.31065223 >ask girlfriend to get married >she says she wants to but ask me how much I have in my bank account and what's my yearly salary (around 50k per year) >claims that It's too little, that her mom's married out of love and she always had a miserable life >try to explain my investments and my retire plan >breaks up with me on the spot because "that's not the life she wants" >FFW >She is now with a new guy >Common friend tells me the new guy is verbally abusive, limit her wardrobe and cheats on her with a femboy >she refuse to leave him because his family is rich >TFW My only hope is that she will never regret this, and if she does she won't come back to me, because I won't take her back, I love her but I love more. I want her to be happy but deep down I know that happiness mustn't be with me.

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