The tale of anon and the greasy van | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

The greasy van KINGS 12 KB JPG > Be me > Enduring the daily torment of working alongside a 50 year old boomer > This guy, let's call him Carl has been here forever > because of this he thinks he owns the place > And he smells like s--- > he treats everyone like garbage > One day, he explodes on me because I parked in a spot he claims is his > It's not, of course > But he doesn't care, just wants to flex his imagined authority on me > That's the last straw for me > I vow to make his life as miserable as he's made mine > Decide to tail him after work > not surprised he drives like a a------ > way to fast and recklessly > Somehow manage to keep up with him > Follow him to his rundown condo > Watch him stumble inside, probably to terrorize his poor cat or something > As I sit in my car, a devious plan forms > Next night, I execute it > Grab a 3-liter bottle of vegetable oil from my kitchen > Sneak to his van > pour the oil over every inch of his white van > Make sure it seeps into every crevice > Even inside the brakes and windows > Leave no trace of my presence > Next day, the office buzzes with Carl's outrage >Blames it on some mischievous kids > heard it cost him around 2000 to get is fixed > laugh my ass off when he have tried to wash the car four time but it still is greasy > Little does he know, I'm already planning my next move Does anyone know what I should do next? I really want to make his life harder

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon draws a pentagram | /r/Greentext

Anonymous A devilish prank 144 KB JPG paranormal 04/11/24(Thu)13:02:06 No.77096357 This s--- happend last week I really cant stoo laughing my ass from this > Be me > Working the graveyard shift at the hospital > Co workers lets call them Sarah and Mike are hardcore believers in all things > They have been binge watching Sam and Colby videos > Every creak, every shadow, they are convinced its a ghost > Tonight, its a slow shift > Im bored out of my mind > Then, a mischievous idea strikes me >Sneak into the supply closet > Grab a red marker > Quietly make my way to the changing room > Behind the door, I draw the Sigil of Baphomet > It looks sinister in the dim light > Finish my shift, trying not to smirk As we are leaving > Sarah spots it first > Oh my god, what is that? > Mikes eyes widen in fear > Mike yells > its the symbol of the devil > I bite my lip to stop from laughing my ass off > they are now convinced the hospital is haunted > Spend the rest of the next shift listening to their theories

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Anon really likes Mega Man X | /r/Greentext

170KIB, 1800x900, wwe-2k23-cody-rhodes.jpg View Same Google ImgOps SauceNAO Anonymous Thu 11 Apr 2024 03:36:28 No.673028325 Deleted View Original Report Quoted By: >>673029075 >>673030731 >>673034897 >>673037451 >>673037465 >>673038010 > 1 The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time > 2 Metal Gear Solid >3 Halo: Combat Evolved > 4 Super Mario World > 5 Mega Man X Would you say he has good taste /v/? Anonymous Thu 11 Apr 2024 03:37:20 No.673028403 Quoted By: >>673028438 fake sociopath taste Report Anonymous Thu 11 Apr 2024 03:37:44 No. 673028438 Report >>673028403 Megaman X is top tier taste you f-----

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Anon thought he was the godfather | /r/Greentext

129 KB PNG > Its 2021 > recently been sick for a few weeks > while I have stayed at home I have been watching mafia movies > you know, Scarface, goodfellas, the godfather etc > at this time I have a identity problem, dont really know what defines me > come up with the idea to act like a Italian mobster > this fits perfectly where Im half Italian and half American > I go to Etsy and buys a pinky ring > go to the local mall and buys some leather loafers and a pinstripe dress pants > its school and Im back after a couple of weeks > new me > I enter the classroom with my pinstripe pants and new leather shoes. Also rocking the pinky ring > even made some pasta in my lunchbox > I take a seat and look at my best friend > I say in a Italian accent > HOW YA DOIN FranKiE, anYonE BOthering you COMe to mE > the Class burst into laugh > i Get humiliated > I go home and stays home for a few days > atleast the pasta was good

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It’s a stereotype and it’s offensive anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Italian-Americans 343 KB PNG drugs 04/09/24(Tue)11:05:44 No.195842862 >Immigrates to America in the 1920s >Immediately takes over New York and New Jersey from the Irish >Refuse racemixing and integration even with whites >Destroys the black community with crime and >Among the only real euro-American immigrant cultures left standing today >Singlehandedly keeps New York and New Jersey half Republican despite s---/nig incursion Why are they so powerful bros?

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Anon gets creampied | /r/Greentext

nonymous 04/08/24(Mon)18:30:32 No.14141618 >have gf for 8 months now >she tried to become a gymnast then an actress, works as a clown in a children's hospital for nearly two years now >says we should take our relationship to the next level >asks me if I want role-play in the bedroom >tell her I want to bone her dressed as clown >first surprised but agrees >next night go over to her place >fuckingclowngf.mp4 >c-- the biggest nut of my life inside her >cuddling post-coitus >all of a sudden she says "oh almost forgot something" >opens the drawer and pulls out a pie with cream topping and a clown horn >shoves the pie in my face >"ok, we are even now :^)" >honkhonk.mp3 should I put a ring on her?

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Anon is experiencing gender discrimination | /r/Greentext

57 KB JPG face a lot more >Make friends with girl in physiology class start of the year >We're both kind of stealth autists and relate well to eachother >It's nice, I feel comfortable with her in a way I don't with other friends >Got a septum piercing recently >Afterwards I've noticed her staring at my >She's always been physically affectionate but that's intensified too >Don't mind really, again, it's nice >Studying w/ her on campus a week after >Can feel her looking at me and then she says >"You'd be soooo cute as a girl, Anon." >Look up at her >Don't know what to say >??? >"I just mean. You know. If you ever wanted to be a girl you could tell me." >"Okay. Cool." >She smiles and things go on as normal after that >FFW A WEEK AFTER dragged to go shopping after we get lunch >"Hey, Anon! Look at this dress." >"Oh, that's nice." >"Isn't it!!! It'd fit you." >She looks at me >"If I bought it, would you wear it?" >"Oh, uh.. I don't know." >She looks a little disappointed and puts it back on the rack >???? Yesterday she texted me asking me if she could do makeup on me before we leave to see a movie this weekend. I have no idea what started this, outside the piercing?? Did that activate something in her brain? She's never looked at or talked to me like this before. She's not trans and I don't think I am either. I have longer hair, sure, but that's just from me not being f----- to get it cut again. I'm so confused at all of this

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anon is dreading the adult life | /r/Greentext

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Anon avoids jury duty | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/24(Wed)18:10:21 No.77085080 79 KB JPG >get an appointment with the doctor to remove my tonsils >Get a jury summon that is scheduled a month from now >Don't really want to f------ go >Call the doctor to change my appointment to to jury date >Schedule is set >Call the number on the papers to tell them about an important life saving surgery on that day >They are notified and understand and no longer am apart of jury duty Is this illegal?

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A all time classic… | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Not gay That was funny I'm laughing 138 KB GIF 12/21/21(Tue)13:02:24 No.21583990 Ok so I'm not gay but love the fact I give him pleasure. He c--- deep into my sissy swede guts, breeding my booty hole|

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Anon lived a dream | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 88 KB JPG 03/12/24(Tue)17:00:53 No.915273836 >spontaneously move to italy to do a phd >pay is s--- >barely get by >meet matilde >moves in with you >struggling financially, research is mid, but Matilde makes it all worth it >wakes you up every day with a smile, oh my god her smile >talk about plans to move to the Italian countryside >life is amazing >wake up >last thing you remember was doing 185 on the freeway, kawasaki suddenly makes whining noises >anon you've been in a coma for 3 months I can barely move, muscles atrophied, bones are still healing, Matilde is not real and the worst part is noone f------ believes me. God I miss her. I miss her dearly. F---.

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Anon doesn't like dolphins | /r/Greentext

File: 7508394280_c8675d3d6a_b.jpg (135 KB, 1023x681) Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat)03:21:51 No.4766206 >>4766223 >>4766287 >>4766290 >>4766401 >>4766520 >>4766525 >>4766733 >>4766833 >>4766836 >>4766 Remind me again why they're so loved by normies? Even with the tiniest reddit-tier knowledge about them you'd realize they're murderous degenerates. Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat)04:04:37 No.4766219 Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat)04:12:53 No.4766223 Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat)08:23:01 No.4766287 >>4766288 >>4766864 >>>4767180 >>4769546 File: 1705776366490464.png (304 KB, 575x726) >>4766206 (OP) > HATE dolphins and killer whales because they are murderous. genocidal rapists!! reddit opinion

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Anon is bulking | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 256 KB JPG 04/10/24(Wed)21:03:15 No.74022721 >Be me >Wake up >12pm >Order a Caines Chicken Sandwich meal along with a Craniac Combo >Get a Coke & Hi-C juice respectively >Dont forget my 4 extra Caine Sauce cups either wagie! >Eat myself into a food coma >Wake up 15 minutes ago >Go to BK and order a large whopper meal Right now I'm just thinking about what to get for a midnight snack after I finish chowing down on this whopper. How's your bulk session going anons?

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