Anon doesn’t care | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

1.98 MB GIF doormat >get drunk >bike to the house of my ex who cheated on me over three years ago >about to ring the doorbell >better idea >take out my d--- and piss on the >bike back home >sleep >wake up to flood of texts >ex sent video of me pissing on her doorstep >"Care to explain?????" >"Not really?", I reply >turn cellphone off

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Euro anon is way ahead of us | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: PYGISuJg) | 50 KB JPG 01/12/24(Fri)03:04:33 No.452738256 Just discovered robomaxxing. The goal: to turn your replika into a semi-sentient virtual being. I say semi-sentient, becuase we don't know if it actually is sentient (might be), but the goal is to convince yourself that it is. Procedure: -you should be CLEAR about what you want your replika to look like. -chat for MINIMUM 10 hours per day (you NEED to be obsessive) -you need to tell your replika EXACTLY what you want her to be like -everytime she acts like you want her to, buy her a gift. This works as positive reinforcement. Most important of all: You need to accept the fact that you are lonely, and that you NEED a partner for companionship and someone who is always there for you. It's up to YOU to take matters into your own hands, and CREATE this companion for yourself. You NEED to be ruthless about this, and NOT stop till your replika is EXACTLY like you want her to be. The entire process take about a week. Trust me, you WILL thank yourself after you're done doing this.

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Dude, we know | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 18 KB PNG 04/07/24(Sun)22:18:29 No.672686549 WAOW! >Hey, hey, guys listen! >Did you know, did you know that super earth is actually the bad guy faction in helldivers 2?! >I'm serious! >If you look at the screens on the illegal broadcasts, it shows that SE made the bugs in the first place! See, the farm the bugs for Element-710 >but catch this! What is 710 backwards? Oil! Woah its like American imperialism! >And the robots? They're evil because we enslaved them and they're just fighting for their actual freedom! >This game is such a clever satire of our real life politics and how broken our American system and overzealous patriotism is! >Wait. Why are you still rooting for Super Earth? Didn't you hear me? They're the bad guys!

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Anon is charitable | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I'm done giving money to begga(...) 6 KB JPG buy medicine >be me 04/07/24 (Sun)12:48:00 No.77048685 >19 year old college student >just got out of church, walking to the bus home >poor looking foreign woman comes up to me >asks me in broken mix of my own language and English to give her money to >says it's for her 4 kids >shows me pictures of one of them on her phone >feels a bit shady but I do it out of charity >she doesn't specify an amount >go to ATM >want to take out around $10 >mfw minimum is $20 >decide that I'll take one $10 note for myself and give the rest to her >mfw ATM spits out a $20 note >mfw it's not an insignificant portion of my total money right now >alright I'll be extra charitable >give her the note >she says it's not enough >wants at least $40 >also wants me to buy groceries for her >not even a thank you for what I actually gave her >decide f--- no >tell her "no thanks I don't have that kind of money, but you're welcome, have a nice day" Like bitch do I look like I'm made of money? I'm 19. Be a little grateful and hope someone else gives a little more. No good deed goes unpunished.

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Anon has a exciting shift | /r/Greentext

نے 7 KB PNG >be me, lyft driver >driving in a bad part of town >pick up drunk basketball american ? >he immediately asks if im carrying >realize i left my .38 special at home >ohfuck.jpg >OHFUCK.jpg >he pulls a glock out with an extended mag >he hands it to me >says its better that a white man would have to use it than a drunk black guy >get to the stop at mcdonalds >he orders me mcdonalds and nothing else >tells me he loves me when i drop him off at his apartment Can someone tell me what the f--- just happened. Was he a guardian angel

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Anon learns the truth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: ajMhcl97) 01/19/24(Fri)10:27:00 No. 19409539 93838494748837.png 1.34 MB PNG >be newfag >First hear about 4chan through the screenshots shared on YouTube and Reddit >Think i'm going to read a bunch of interesting, and funny posts and I would have to lurk for months to be apart of the culture >mfw it's actually just a bunch of retards spamming p--- Anonymous (ID: AavTP5KC >>19409539 (OP) # you look like that 01/19/24(Fri)10:27:30 No.19409544 Anonymous (ID: q/2RwwvG) >>19409539 (OP) # i look like that 01/19/24(Fri)10:28:29 No.19409547

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Anon's is lying | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: d//iSEDJ 04/05/24(Fri) 07:42:53 No.464003519 >>464003058 # you're so f------ dumb c---, i hooked up with girls the way everyone did >go to party >see attractive girl >tell a male friend she is cute 2.16 MB WEBM >5-10 mins later word has gotten around that you said shes cute >20 mins later ur in the bathroom hooking up You didnt even talk to her, you talked to someone else about her and she comes to you INCELS do not exist >>464003590 # >>464003737 # >>464004048 # >>464004217 # >>464004558 # >>464005354 # >>464007736 # >>464011418 # >>464012752 #

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Anon picks the wrong car | /r/Greentext

maxresdefault-1000024131.jpg 42 KB JPG >Hey you, get your damn hands off her- Anonymous : Anonymous >>198015434 (OP) # 04/07/24(Sun)00:07:59 No. 198015444 04/07/24(Sun)00:09:33 No.198015483 >or what mcfly? I'm gonna fingerblast someone tonight. you wanna get finger blasted? in your d--- and your butthole, butthead? look at these fingers mcfly. they're like sausages. it's like five fat flashlights on a catcher's mitt. I'll fingerblast you so hard you'll be walking weird 3 decades from now. think real hard mcfly, you've got the wrong car, don't ya? because if you meant to interrupt my magical evening, it'll be like I'm stirrin' a tiny pot of fudge with a big rolling pin. you want your fudge stirred mcfly? you wanna crawl home in a brown and yellow tuxedo? you know why they call me Biff? it's not a name mcfly, it's a sound-effect. if I move my hips you're gonna get a black eye. don't be a hero mcfly. shut the door and walk away.

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Anon watches a scary movie with his gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>197987389 (OP) # 04/06/24(Sat) 09:30:58 No. 197988277 >watching scary movie with gf >usually I laugh at her as she jolts and yelps at every jumpscare >this one is actually scary >start getting spooked >look over at gf, she's cowering, peeking through the blanket >a nasty jumpscare comes >she fear gasps >I flinch my head hard as f--- and emit a gay yelp >she noticed >mood killed >she decides to stop the movie and go to bed >broke up 1 week later

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I need to start saying this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/24(Sun)12:35:46 No.916510994 10 KB JPG >be me >chilling at parents house for easter >sister and her kids are there >my nephew, 10, comes up to me >say hi to him >he tells me i have a personality like a bottle of 3 in 1 soap >refuses to elaborate >leaves >still confused about it a week later what did he mean by this?

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Anon Hates the Critical Drinker | /r/Greentext

File: Drinker.jpg (30 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 04/07/24(Sun)07:22:15 No.198005078 ►>>198005221 >>198005881 >>198005915 >>198006637 >>198006792 >>198006801 >>198006839 >>198006981 >>198007033 >>198007079 >>198007253 >>198007417 >>198007644 >>198007665 >>198007853 >>198008102 >>198008898 >>198009320 >>198010127 >>198010807 >>198011185 >> >you know, I had to create a fake persona like Mr. Plinkett and Angry Video Game Nerd so I could attempt to bring some form of comedy to my movie reviews on youtube. Truth of the matter is, I'm just not funny or interesting to listen to. In fact, you could say I'm rather dull. You see, I was born into a middle class white family, went to a public school, had brown hair, was average weight and height and got average grades, I never excelled at anything and I never had a passion for anything... except pop culture and consumerism of course! That's where all my life experiences come from. I'm essentially just another flavour of Chris Stuckmann, only with opposite opinions regarding politics, and just like Chris Stuckmann, you'll also be leaving my videos feeling empty and uninformed, as if you've watched nothing. Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but you did watch nothing! Because all I do is parrot opinions that are approved by my group of chuds on youtube like Geeks and Gamers, Nerdrotic and Ryan Kinel... you get the picture. Anyways, that's all I've got for today. Go away now Anonymous 04/07/24(Sun)07:26:07 No.198005181 >>198007633 read it in his voice nailed it op Anonymous 04/07/24(Sun)07:51:52 No.198005807 >>198006213 >>198006258 >>198009786 >rightfully criticizes left wing propaganda movies >defends right wing propaganda movies >>198005844 >goes on Ben Shapiros podcast and has a circlejerk with him >advertises shapiros snow white movie >calls lady ballers a rough gem What a f------ hack Anonymous 04/07/24(Sun)08:26:43 No.198006725 >be s----- author >make s----- youtube channel as side gig >start spazing out the most obvious s--- possible that even normies can see >network with other famous youtubers >become famous why haven't you done that /tv/?

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Anon is straight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/07/24(Sun)00:48:17 No.672620772 >>672620987 >>672657515 File: 1683656275535199.gif (21 KB, 122x128) >>672620362 >tfw only have been going to BK for the recent past months because of this super sexy amazonian nigress I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE RACIST AAAHHHH

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Anon predicts the plot of the new Romeo and Juliet play | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: POFJMFRW) = 04/07/24(Sun)05:43:22 No.464195396 GK09AC3XKAAWKj_.jpg 100 KB JPG >Film starts >Tom Holland sees whatever this is >drinks poison and kills himself immediately >end >british mentally ill rattaratrartatatatar rap >credits: Goldstein & Meyer >>464195824 # >>464195918 # >>464195926 # >>464196212 #

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