Anon Hates the Critical Drinker | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: Drinker.jpg (30 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 04/07/24(Sun)07:22:15 No.198005078 ►>>198005221 >>198005881 >>198005915 >>198006637 >>198006792 >>198006801 >>198006839 >>198006981 >>198007033 >>198007079 >>198007253 >>198007417 >>198007644 >>198007665 >>198007853 >>198008102 >>198008898 >>198009320 >>198010127 >>198010807 >>198011185 >> >you know, I had to create a fake persona like Mr. Plinkett and Angry Video Game Nerd so I could attempt to bring some form of comedy to my movie reviews on youtube. Truth of the matter is, I'm just not funny or interesting to listen to. In fact, you could say I'm rather dull. You see, I was born into a middle class white family, went to a public school, had brown hair, was average weight and height and got average grades, I never excelled at anything and I never had a passion for anything... except pop culture and consumerism of course! That's where all my life experiences come from. I'm essentially just another flavour of Chris Stuckmann, only with opposite opinions regarding politics, and just like Chris Stuckmann, you'll also be leaving my videos feeling empty and uninformed, as if you've watched nothing. Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but you did watch nothing! Because all I do is parrot opinions that are approved by my group of chuds on youtube like Geeks and Gamers, Nerdrotic and Ryan Kinel... you get the picture. Anyways, that's all I've got for today. Go away now Anonymous 04/07/24(Sun)07:26:07 No.198005181 >>198007633 read it in his voice nailed it op Anonymous 04/07/24(Sun)07:51:52 No.198005807 >>198006213 >>198006258 >>198009786 >rightfully criticizes left wing propaganda movies >defends right wing propaganda movies >>198005844 >goes on Ben Shapiros podcast and has a circlejerk with him >advertises shapiros snow white movie >calls lady ballers a rough gem What a f------ hack Anonymous 04/07/24(Sun)08:26:43 No.198006725 >be s----- author >make s----- youtube channel as side gig >start spazing out the most obvious s--- possible that even normies can see >network with other famous youtubers >become famous why haven't you done that /tv/?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is straight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/07/24(Sun)00:48:17 No.672620772 >>672620987 >>672657515 File: 1683656275535199.gif (21 KB, 122x128) >>672620362 >tfw only have been going to BK for the recent past months because of this super sexy amazonian nigress I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE RACIST AAAHHHH

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Anon predicts the plot of the new Romeo and Juliet play | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: POFJMFRW) = 04/07/24(Sun)05:43:22 No.464195396 GK09AC3XKAAWKj_.jpg 100 KB JPG >Film starts >Tom Holland sees whatever this is >drinks poison and kills himself immediately >end >british mentally ill rattaratrartatatatar rap >credits: Goldstein & Meyer >>464195824 # >>464195918 # >>464195926 # >>464196212 #

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It's the kangaroos | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous G NV that? 168 KB PNG 04/07/24(Sun)08:24:50 No.195745397 >F--- off we're full! Okay? How? You're the size of continental USA with a population of 25 million only. >Oi b-b-but muh desert, you fawkin drango, C---! Egypt is a desert also and it's smaller with a population of 100 million. In fact you don't inhabit all the coasts, why is >Imb4 This doesn't mean I'm for importanting poos, no. I'm genuinely asking why Australias don't expand if they have an overpopulation problem and a housing problem.

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Anon's neck hurts | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/10/23(Tue)14:59:01 No.75021829 >Be me peppo-pepe.gif 25 KB GIF >Wake up with a stiff neck Fml >Never tell anyone about my neck FFW to next day >Scrolling through phone >See an ad for a neck and head supporter W-- is going on. Anonymous 10/10/23(Tue)15:00:10 No.75021845 Don't worry about it, goy. PURE COINCIDENCE 82 KB JPG

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Anon remembers the most important scene in WWZ | /r/Greentext

Anonymous WORLD WAR AN ORAL HISTORY OF THE ZOMBIE WAR 04/06/24(Sat)03:15:51 No. 197988912 >artillery doesn't work on zombies because.... because it just doesn't ok??? Let's be honest, a faithful adaption would have been s--- also. MAX BROOKS 41 KB JPG Anonymous >>197988912 (OP) # 04/06/24(Sat)03:17:34 No. 197988942 brad pitt drank a soda during this movie >>197990944 # >>197998243 #

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New Lore Just dropped | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_6203.jpg ( 840 KB, 1170x899) सुपर्णनखा ने क्यों बसाया मक्का म CC BELIEVE AUTINE सुपर्णखा की इस गलती से हुआ इस्लाम धर्म का जन्म | Surpanakha Ke Bare Mein Janka... Factaiz Facts · 2.9M views • 1 year ago 9:28 : O Anonymous (ID: 86nmXrs/ ) 04/06/24 (Sat)19:15:56 No.464156703 > >464156977 >>464157220 >>464157225 >>464157360 >>464157384 >>464157503 >>464157758 >>464158090 >>464158428 >>464158952 >>464159520 >>464159874 >>464159898 >>464159966 >>464160126 >>464160364 A good proportion Of Hindus believe their lord Vishnu is held hostage inside kabba by Muslims and to save him they need to destroy it lol

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It's almost like treating employees well leads to better products | /r/Greentext

How does FromSoftware release AAA games so frequently? Elden Ring boss says "we are just blessed with a great staff" that the studio empowers and retains By Dustin Bailey published 1 day ago "We're able to understand quickly what we want to make" GHIIGKOWUAAakeT.jpg 63 KB JPG They just don't make them like FromSoft Anonymous 02/25/24(Sun)08:42:34 No.668246473 >don't fire people after finishing work >allow them to get better >w-- how the hell do they do it Truly a mystery for the ages.

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autistic dog owner | /r/Greentext

File: shiba4.jpg (61 KB, 640x630) Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat) 18:08:47 No.77041904 [Reply] >>77042083 >be former neet, turbo autist >desperate to be normal >get normal person job >establish surface level connections so as not to look like an outsider/transplant, become functioning part of social ecosystem at work >looksmax, become passably attractive >mimic common interests and trends >im doing it im doing it >open mouth >misread social cue/reply slightly off >they can smell the autism on me >get White Girls At Party Looking Disgusted.png Look >its over why do i even try. i cannot defeat hundreds of years of pattern recognition in the human brain. they can smell the uncanny valley on me Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat) 18:21:35 No.77042083 ►>>77042190 >>77041904 (OP) >why do i even try. to make money so that you can afford to take care of your dog. Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

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anon shoplifts like a pussy | /r/Greentext

File: 02_checkout-lane-1.jpg (38 KB, 479x319) cold beer Thievery Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat) 18:30:04 No.77042201 How many of you guys seriously Shoplift regularly? What's your strat? Here's mine: >Never do anything major, shoplifting anything very valuable will just lead to you getting arrested >Go to Grocery Stores that also have non-Food items. This is what I steal. >Only Steal things you have enough money to pay for, this way you can always get away with the "I forgot it was in my pocket" excuse >If the store is small enough where it doesn't have picrel, your job will be far easier. Take something, put it in your pocket and casually walk out like you didn't buy anything. If caught, just say that you forgot you had it and shamefully pay >if your caught at one spot, its good to not steal there for a couple months, or at least when that employee isn't there it isn't much, but its extremely difficult to get caught and nearly impossible to actually get in punishment for it. Especially if you can say you're autistic

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the pic is too big to fully be in the screenshot | /r/Greentext

I am never listening to normie advice again! Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat) 16:29:19 No.77040872 [Reply] ► >Be me >Discuss with my normie friends ways to get a girlfriend with my interests >They told me that I should touch grass and approach them. >I didn't believe them at first but decided to f--- it, I decided to surfacemaxx >I walked like 40k steps non stop, I went outside early in the morning and came back at like 8 pm. >I went to all sorts of places, parks, vidya stores, anime stores, literally anywhere that I have passion for. Nobody had approached me, I gave compliments to a few eGirls who wore cosplay and they just said "Thank you", nobody continued small talk. >I even went to grocery studios. I managed to make small talk but none continued it. >I was promised by normies that by making small talk, I'll succeed at love but all I got is me spending the entire day outside. >Mfw I am never listening to normies advice ever again.

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Anon Does a Workout | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Rate my routine 03/21/24(Thu)12:43:03 No.73870352 Monday: Head Tuesday: Shoulders Wednesday: Knees 47 KB JPG Thursday: Toes Friday: Knees Saturday: Toes Sunday: Rest

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Unspoken rizz | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 41 KB JPG >be me >white 04/06/24(Sat) 06:46:26 No.31015451 >straight >have annoying 20yo neighbour >he blasts s----- trap music every. f------. day. >yells at his dog, his dad, on the cellphone, etc >sometimes I catch him on camera smoking weed with his dangerous-looking friends, but didn't know what his face looked like >fast forward to yesterday >I see him while I was going to the convenience store >he looks and dresses EXACTLY like picrel, just a tad bit lighter-skinned. I don't know why, but I got hard instantly. Like, I'm a masculine man 99% of the time, but there's just something about this dude in specific that makes me want to get beat down and dominated by him - which doesn't make any sense because I'm taller, older and stronger than him. I kinda want to talk to him, but I'm 99% sure he is straight and would punch me in the face the second I suggest anything. Not only that, but I'm also scared as F--- of his friends. W-- is wrong with me?

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