anon shoplifts like a p---- | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 02_checkout-lane-1.jpg (38 KB, 479x319) cold beer Thievery Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat) 18:30:04 No.77042201 How many of you guys seriously Shoplift regularly? What's your strat? Here's mine: >Never do anything major, shoplifting anything very valuable will just lead to you getting arrested >Go to Grocery Stores that also have non-Food items. This is what I steal. >Only Steal things you have enough money to pay for, this way you can always get away with the "I forgot it was in my pocket" excuse >If the store is small enough where it doesn't have picrel, your job will be far easier. Take something, put it in your pocket and casually walk out like you didn't buy anything. If caught, just say that you forgot you had it and shamefully pay >if your caught at one spot, its good to not steal there for a couple months, or at least when that employee isn't there it isn't much, but its extremely difficult to get caught and nearly impossible to actually get in punishment for it. Especially if you can say you're autistic

Share Pin Download More

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: png

Resolution: (1442px x 518px)

File size: 334 KB

File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

View All 43,689 Images

More:

the pic is too big to fully be in the screenshot | /r/Greentext

I am never listening to normie advice again! Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat) 16:29:19 No.77040872 [Reply] ► >Be me >Discuss with my normie friends ways to get a girlfriend with my interests >They told me that I should touch grass and approach them. >I didn't believe them at first but decided to f--- it, I decided to surfacemaxx >I walked like 40k steps non stop, I went outside early in the morning and came back at like 8 pm. >I went to all sorts of places, parks, vidya stores, anime stores, literally anywhere that I have passion for. Nobody had approached me, I gave compliments to a few eGirls who wore cosplay and they just said "Thank you", nobody continued small talk. >I even went to grocery studios. I managed to make small talk but none continued it. >I was promised by normies that by making small talk, I'll succeed at love but all I got is me spending the entire day outside. >Mfw I am never listening to normies advice ever again.

Pin

Anon Does a Workout | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Rate my routine 03/21/24(Thu)12:43:03 No.73870352 Monday: Head Tuesday: Shoulders Wednesday: Knees 47 KB JPG Thursday: Toes Friday: Knees Saturday: Toes Sunday: Rest

Pin

Unspoken rizz | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 41 KB JPG >be me >white 04/06/24(Sat) 06:46:26 No.31015451 >straight >have annoying 20yo neighbour >he blasts s----- trap music every. f------. day. >yells at his dog, his dad, on the cellphone, etc >sometimes I catch him on camera smoking weed with his dangerous-looking friends, but didn't know what his face looked like >fast forward to yesterday >I see him while I was going to the convenience store >he looks and dresses EXACTLY like picrel, just a tad bit lighter-skinned. I don't know why, but I got hard instantly. Like, I'm a masculine man 99% of the time, but there's just something about this dude in specific that makes me want to get beat down and dominated by him - which doesn't make any sense because I'm taller, older and stronger than him. I kinda want to talk to him, but I'm 99% sure he is straight and would punch me in the face the second I suggest anything. Not only that, but I'm also scared as F--- of his friends. W-- is wrong with me?

Pin

Anon is gonna get his ass beat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 759 KB JPG 03/29/24(Fri)06:41:40 No.916055019 >walk up to random person on the street >"sir/ma'am I'm going to need to see some identification" >if they question or refuse me I simply repeat the question in a more annoyed tone and slightly louder voice >they, without fail, always show me some ID in the end >as soon as they hand it over I look at it for a while, glance towards them and the ID a few times, before handing it back to them and saying "ok, have a nice day sir / ma'am" and walking away. It's really that easy. And you know what /b/? If I met any of you on the street and did this to you, you'd submit instantly, I know you would.

Pin

Kinda wholesome ngl | /r/Greentext

File: tou.png (162 KB, 277x325) Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat)18:28:22 No.77036914 >>77037370 >Be an average muslim guy >Pretty normal, pray five times a day and all that >>77036934 >>77037249 >>77037344 >Couple of days ago my younger brother came up to me and told me he thinks he's probably gay >He's panicking and distraught and pretty clearly been crying >Brother is a way better muslim than me and goes to mosque a ton >This was pretty shocking to say the least >First things first ask him if he still wants to be muslim >He instantly says he knows he still wants to be muslim and doesn't want to sin >OK, i then tell him to do a few things >First never ever tell our parents about this, i did some research on this topic and it turns out that being gay isn't inherently a sin but acting upon it was >Our parents are definitely not smart enough to understand the difference and all they would accomplish would be turning my brother away from us and our religion >I then went with him to our local mosque and spoke with one of Imams who had experience with this sort of thing >He reassured my brother that he did a good thing by resisting his urges and he will be rewarded greatly in the afterlife >Could see my brother visibly relax a bit He's gotten a lot better recently and i think he's starting to understand that he's still a good muslim. He said we wanted to tell our parents but i keep telling him to never do so, they just won't be able to understand and will just persecute him. They were already pretty bad parents. But yeah this whole thing was pretty unexpected.

Pin

Anon Figuren out Hisbollah | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: ODle717) 01/04/24(Thu)10:47:32 No.454019139 على طريق القدس الذكرى السنوية الراحة الاستقواء الحاج قاسم والفتاح أبو مهدي ورفاقهما انون الثاني 2016 م 1645 _132199004_nasrallah.jpg 47 KB JPG >welp! You really did it this time! >Ooooooh you pesky Israelis! Your day is coming! >just... Not today... But it's coming! >Yep, we'll make you pay! Just... Not today, just to be clear >oooh Israel, you mess with the bull you get the horns... Maybe... >Urm, just.. Don't do it again please... O-Or else!!

Pin

Anon is a financial genius | /r/Greentext

File: pepemoney.jpg (119 KB, 986x1024) Best financial advice Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat) 19:07:40 No.77039072 Best financial advice? Invest in companies that you absolutely f------ hate. >if the company dies, you win because the company you hate died >if the company scores a win, you win because you invested in that company You literally can't lose and always come out on top. Why don't more people do this?

Pin

Anon nearly exploded | /r/Greentext

File: 178931783144721.jpg (6 KB, 208x242) >she actually did it >c--- gets rock solid >20 Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat) 19:12:30 No.77039106 >>77039135 >inexperienced retard (women usually hate this trait) >first time dating > chick and i get real close after a while >she hugs me >i literally got a little movement down there >try to play it f------ cool >grab her ass cheeks >"damn they are soft as f--- ahahah" >she still has no idea what im going through in my head >a moment later >im sitting on park bench while shes standing >she asks me if she can sit on my lap >"yeah sure take the seat" >still trying to PLAYING IT F------ COOL >"is it comfy for you?" >she giggles and says yeah >nothing happened after this, only a couple kisses >night ends >j------- 4 times while thinking about those moments i f------ hate being an inexperienced incel in this hookup culture society. i nearly exploded in my pants while trying to play a confident laidback persona

Pin

Anon achieved the dream | /r/Greentext

⠀ Anonymous 36 KB JPG 04/05/24(Fri)18:21:34 No.73983079 >tfw been with wife for almost 8 years > Me a former /co/ and /fit/f-- > her a con kid that heavily browsed /cgl/ > both super fit when we met in 2016 > relationships and life happens, slowly stop lifting > eat well so no drastic weight gain > 8 years later, wife is now built like Fugtrup's Mei with cowtits > realize I like her body more now than ever > become an architect > make an effort starting last year to just keep active for health and not care about weight > continue to lift 2-3x a week and run 2x a week for general health, not caring about aesthetics > she swims 2x a week for her own health > just enjoy life and each other, becoming more attracted to each other every day She's a 34G/32H, has a belly, a perfect fupa innie p----, and will dress up in outfits for me. She sat on my face dressed as Velma. I am enraptured by her, obsessed with her. Waking up next to her is one of the biggest joys in my life. Her family loves me more than my own family does. We support each other, uplift each other. It is great. >>73983183 # >>73983646 # >>73986050 # >>73987340 # >>73987833 # >>73989418 #

Pin

Anon Wants To Go Back | /r/Greentext

Anonymous We need to go back to SMGs 268 KB JPG 04/03/24(Wed) 05:08:32 No.61320550 >I can't do heckin See Cue Bee with a 20 inch AR, better go to to 11.5 inches >Oh f--- its a handeld flashbang >Throw a can on, but now its still not really quiet, has gimped ballistics and runs dirty >Lets make a whole new round for suppressed short barreled rifles that can be loaded to mimic pistol round ballistics >we need a gun for rear echelon troops >Lets design a new small armor piercing cartridge with retarded straight walls >It can't actually pierce armor better than Swedish steel core 9mm from the 60s. 5.56 SBRs, .300BLK and PDWs are all trying to solve problems that SMGs already solved, let rifles do rifle things and SMGs do SMG things : Anonymous 04/03/24(Wed) 05:12:54 No.61320566 The thing is, my dear seething PCC troon, even with supposedly "gimped" SBR ballistics, they still leave SMG ballistics in the dust. >>61320616 #

Pin

Anon regrets his romantic liaison with mom's dog. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 242 KB JPG 12/06/23(Wed) 09:52:17 No.910426146 >Be young gay furry that's curious about dogfucking >Mom owns dog grooming shop >Part of the business requires her to pet sit for people out of town >Experiment sexually with animals due to bad p--- habit >Mother boards a big male german shepherd named "Rookie" one day >he's intact >idea.png >sneak out one night and suck Rookie's c--- while my parents are asleep >eat his ass too >one night, bring him into the laundry room when no one is awake >set up cell phone to record >assume the position >let him f--- my gay little virgin ass on camera >upload video >it spreads over the internet >show face in video >even look at camera cause I'm a dumbass >fast-forward 13 years >video lives on the internet forever >still think about it and obsess over it daily >cant escape >part of me is still in the laundry room with Rookie, and that part of me lives on the internet forever. That vid pretty much ruined me mentally. Now whenever I see a german shepherd I am instantly reminded of the video and I get really horny. >>910426218 # >>910428028 # >>910429198 #

Pin

Anon has trouble making friends. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 75. 133 KB PNG 11/06/23(Mon)04:57:12 No.30112129 >college is the best years of your life! >this is where you form your life long friendships! >this is where you will find your wife! >it's IMPOSSIBLE to make friends after college so what happens to people who are in their 3rd year and have not made a single friend

Pin

Know Your Meme

Like Page 1.8M likes