Anon goes on no-fap | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous The Nofap pill is a lie 4 KB JPG without jerking it 04/01/24(Mon) 12:00:19 No.73953930 >be me >hear all the benefits of semen retention >decide to give up masturbating >fail most times >stop browsing twitter and log off my nsfw reddit >finally managed to go a long time >I feel even more tired than usual >don't end up feeling like going to the gym in the morning or at night >work is even more of a slog than usual >social life doesn't improve and in fact, people say I'm even less talkative than usual >talks with my girlfriend become super bland and boring as we used to flirt and sext, but now I don't want to as I'd get horny and end up fapping >HURR DURR FAKR AND GAY ANON CANOT HAS GF BECAUSE HE IS LE 4chiNNER >usually end up fapping before bed or wake up horny an hour after sleeping to bust >now fight those urges >now I have sleep paralysis an hour into bed and feel something pushing on my chest >gave up YouTube and am super bored now too Mfw I'm 4 weeks on no fap and it hasn't done anything good for me, and has only made me more awkward and summoned a demon into my room >what should I do anon?

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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4chan talks about Hunger Games | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 124 KB JPG 01/28/24(Sun)02:23:44 No.913061458 >Food is unaffordable >Children forced to play Fortnite IRL >Society ruled by trannies Was The Hunger Games trying to warn us? Anonymous 01/28/24(Sun)02:33:29 No.913061822 I dunno but I'd a--- f--- Katniss Everdeen.

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Anon finds out AOC her shoe size | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: exKXVZ6/ 01/10/21(Sun)14:28:24 No.301779559 Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC As most people know by now, many things were stolen during the terrorist insurrection at the Capitol: laptops, mail, even the Speaker's lectern. Security cameras also picked up a well- disguised fellow about 5'4" stealing all of my SHOES, for Chrissake. Unbelievable 2:42 AM Jan 10, 2021 739 Retweets 126 Quote Tweets 25.8K Likes F51566B5-9E3F-4C34-8D8C-9FE0C1D896B6.jpg 191 KB JPG Ok who's the smartass... Anonymous (ID: +bOaCkAZ 01/10/21(Sun)14:29:39 No.301779834 >>301779559 (OP) # Did you know Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has size 11's? >>301781107 # >>301786107 # >>301789207#

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Anon's older brother is a huge failure | /r/Greentext

W-- is wrong with my brother 20 KB PNG wrong with him >be me 04/01/24(Mon) 17:38:53 No.76980155 >have an older brother >only talks to me and our parents >wears masks everywhere cuz he's fat af, even during school classes >went to a psychiatrist with mom, didn't say a word, psych says he's never seen such a case before, doesn't know what's >can't go outside alone, doesn't go to school alone, and avoids going outside after school like the plague >high school starting in September >says he won't go alone, but the school is 2km from home, grandpa can't drive cuz drinks rakia every day >already planning to wear a mask in high school too >has a neuro disorder and receives expensive medication funded by the country >MFW i realize that my country is spending 0.00076% of it's GDP on a living failure

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The Red Cow Project | /r/Greentext

Board /b/ - Random Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 04/01/24(Mon)12:31:54 No.916233450 379 KB PNG >Be me, a cow in the heart of Texas >Eating my grass >Jewish guy approaches me >He tells me that I am the most perfect cow in the world >Tells me that I am special >Surprisingly he doesn't eat my s--- like other cow worshippers do >He takes me on a trip to Israel instead of being turned into a burger >Treats me like a god for the whole journey >Then he f------ burns me alive

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Anon really thought this was a good idea for a thread. | /r/Greentext

FREE Bitcoins R: 93 / I: 10 $ LISTEN UP FEMCEL FRENS!: I've got $25 USD in BTC bucks for any femcel who post an audio recording of her queefing the US national anthem with her p---- in it's entirety! Good luck

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Why does she look like that | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 51 KB JPG 03/30/24(Sat) 09:13:01 No.671803171 >See an ugly woman in a video game >Say I'm not gonna buy it cause it doesn't appeal to me. >Everyone gets mad at me, downvotes me, calls me an incel, tells me to touch grass Why is this? Why am I not allowed to only buy products that appeal to me?

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Anon is straight | /r/Greentext

195 KB PNG >be me, STRAIGHT elderly chinese man >10 minutes ago >go to sandwich shop >order the same thing I always do from the same guy that's always there >see someone new come out from the back room and go behind the counter >cute ass slim mexican femboy >notice he keeps eyeing me every few seconds while my sandwich is being made >make eye contact and he smiles >asks if I need anything else in the softest little voice >"I need you to do something" >pull out my service revolver >force him to beat me at MAHJONG otherwise I will banish him to the land of Yi (my term for barbarians) 7 Replies Anonymous View Thread 10/13/23(Fri)23:51:36 No.75059287 I wanna f--- the smug cat >>75059292 #

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Anon fixes his life. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Meth fixed my life, thanks met(...) 150 KB JPG 03/31/24(Sun)19:45:18 No.76972605 >Room is just me sleeping on bare mattress surrounded by moldy plates >Take meth >Clean room, bleach everything >Apply to 50 different jobs >Clean car, call in to have it serviced and get my warrant >Send long texts to entire family apologizing for being a f--- up That was a week ago, a temp agency already got back to me, they want me to start on wednesday. I love this drug

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The strategy of idgaf | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 42 KB JPG 04/01/24(Mon) 17:54:14 No.195522877 >Earth: Stop killing whales >Japan: No >Earth: It'll ruin your international reputation >Japan: No it won't. We'll just...keep doing it. Unapologetically. We literally just don't give a f---. 99% of the world don't actually care. Kinda weird how this form of diplomacy won.

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Anon is disappointed with Pewdiepie | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Y1yMsuwG 852 KB PNG 03/31/24(Sun)04:50:44 No.463463279 >Be Pewdiepie >Be the most subscribed YouTuber >Use 4chan >Don't redpill your young fan base >Marry an Italian If I saw this f----- IRL... Anonymous (ID: j+4aYavW) Z >>463463279 (OP) # 03/31/24(Sun)04:51:39 No.463463334 Tran >>463471460 # Anonymous (ID: nlSpQaRr) >>463463279 (OP) # 03/31/24(Sun)04:52:06 No.463463357 >Don't redpill your young fan base Wrong >>463479410 # >>463499662 #

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Anon has no sense of smell | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Okay guys. Here goes. >be me age 17 10/25/16(Tue)17:24:09 No.3232916 >my brother is a Chad and frequently has friends over >I'm holed up in my room, I hate going outside of my room when there's guests over >Really need to s--- >Don't want to leave >See a towel in my room >Squat over the towel and s--- on it instead of leaving my room >Continue doing this throughout the years, 'cause I don't have to leave the comfiness of my room and the poop comes out easier that way >Have to eventually deliver poop-covered towel to my toilet which involves walking across the hallway >Sometimes I'd store many poop towels until I finally decided it was time to dispose of them >Have to make sure coast is clear before delivering towel >Mess up one day and my brother comes out >Get startled, drop towels full of poop >My brother's face scarred me forever

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Anon tries laundry | /r/Greentext

No.73694965 86 KB JPEG > Be me > never done laundry in my life. Moved directly from my parents house into a house with my girlfriend > Mom has always complained about how tough it is to do laundry while my Dad is at work > Gf complains about how much laundry she has to do with us and our two kids > Eventually divorce, and I'm living by myselfd > dreading-laundry.wav > throw clothes in the machine > come back two hours later and take them out What is their problem?

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