Anon is gonna get a heart attack | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 03/27/24(Wed) 06:20:57 No.20343469 300 23DE5BC0-38C5-4C9A-8946-CB39DABF3291.jpg >makes muzzies seethe 107 KB JPG >tastes and smells amazing >extremely versatile in the types of dishes it works with >extremely easy and quick to cook >cheap >actually one of the best foods for raising testosterone due to the saturated fat Is bacon the most based food?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is a fan of Markiplier | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/22/24(Fri)15:44:51 No.197514393 I'm tired . . Markiplier 6.5M views 10 days ago 20240322_214300.png 324 KB PNG >I GOTTA PLAY VIDEO GAMES ONCE A WEEK AND MAKE MILLIONS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH I'M GOING INSANE 6:55

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Robot lives in Australia | /r/Greentext

Australia is the worst country to be incel in Australia is the worst country(...) 51 KB JPG 03/27/24(Wed)16:47:03 No.76918221 >mogged everywhere by aussie chads >women are hot as f--- and always dressed skimpily >housing is the most expensive in the world, almost impossible to get on the property ladder >extroverted social culture filters shy autists

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No prep time needed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/25/24(Mon)03:39:25 No.142848527 E8ED8F9E-6D98-40C5-9D29-EAF1A6F7030A.jpg 1.14 MB JPG This is literally endgame for Batman >reforms a villian and proves not all people are always evil >steals his worst enemy's girl >clussy

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btw georgy partied later with twilight sparkle!!!! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 108 KB JPEG 3/27/2024, 7:24:09 AM (AcuteNight Earlier) No.39302537 > Georgy loved to read and lovingly always went to the library to love on others! she loved to go at night for there were always new opportunities! this night in particular was very cute! it started with her waking up from her all so very loving evening nap that was awesomely and solely setup for the loving occasion of an all very loving cute library trip! she headed towards her closet to put on the lovely clothes she had set aside for such an event, she wore her hair straight and happily ran to the library! - getting there she seen much friends and Many new really awesome faces! she greeted all with a heartwarming smile then slowly but patiently moved on to find a book! she searched and searched till she found something magical: a glowing book sparkling with glittery cuteness! this not only blessed her greatly but it reminded Georgy of her favorite pony! (cutebeginnings)

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PCMR in shambles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous PC gaming is unironically over 37 KB JPG battered one 03/27/24(Wed) 15:36:00 No.671512954 >Software bloat has completely outpaced hardware advances >A decent PC rig will cost >$2000. $1000 is no longer enough >Discrete GPUs cost a fortune, while IGPUs are still s--- >If you want a decent GPU, you may have to go used where you have a very good chance of getting a crypto/ai >Have to settle for sub 60fps and 1080p using upscale, same quality as 15 years ago >Old games are poorly supported and indie games run like s--- despite being 2D and all >Chink GPU, the only hope out of this hellscape turns out to be a disappointment. How do you cope getting priced out of this hobby?

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Ann watches the British dub of Star Wars | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/21/22(Mon)08:15:50 No.125422100 KANE 1666091736503.jpg 163 KB JPG >let the FACKIN 'ate flow fru you lad

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Anons gladly except t3h b0yK1sSeR oF d00m | /r/Greentext

t3h boyk1sSeR oF d00m hi every 1!!! :3 97 KB PNG 03/26/24(Tue)16:03:11 No.35163282 *holds up catboy* hi every1 im new!!!!!!! my name is kayden but u can call me t3h b0yk1sSeR OF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^... im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch boku w/ my boyfriends (im pan if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SO000 random!!!! theyre random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! FEMBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Λ *glomps u* t3h b0yk1sSeR oF d00m Anonymous 03/26/24(Tue)16:03:48 No.35163284 >>35163282 (OP) # god you are such an annoying f----- Anonymous 03/26/24(Tue)16:05:21 No.35163301 t3h boyk1sSeR oF d00m 03/26/24(Tue)16:05:50 No.35163309 Anonymous 03/26/24(Tue)16:06:13 No.35163313 Anonymous 03/26/24(Tue)16:50:45 No.35163672 Least obvious fed Anonymous 03/26/24(Tue)16:54:07 No.35163697 Hai Kayden!!!!! (^_^) Or should I say... t3h b0yk1sSeR OF d00m!! Teehee :^). How r U 2day! Do u wanna be frends...? Lolz. *Squeezies you* WAFFLEZ! : Anonymous >>35163282 (OP) # 03/26/24(Tue)16:59:00 No.35163735 rawr X3 welcome to teh chans kayden ^w^ : Anonymous 03/26/24(Tue)17:01:03 No.35163748 >>35163282 (OP) # kill yourself at the earliest convenience Anonymous 03/26/24(Tue)17:01:24 No.35163753 Anonymous 03/26/24(Tue)17:06:05 No.35163790 People used to talk like this on the internet unironically >>35163826 #

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On the Horizon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/24(Sun)10:21:02 No.76884416 ENOUGH 222.jpg 5 KB JPG >be me >uber eats driver >get an order by a girl named michelle >it's some vegan wings bs with vegan ranch dip (didnt know that s--- had meat in the first place) >based on her name and diet realize she's probably a hot as hell health nut >get extremely horny >decide to put some meat in her ranch >send her a message telling her im stopping for gas but just stop by the gas station >dip my d--- in the ranch dip >feels glorious >deliver her food tunrs out its an ugly t----- anons that f------ degenerate wouldve paid for that s--- and i gave it for free

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Boomer humor, but still better than r*ddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/24(Mon)18:36:31 No.671370476 1711035251310077.jpg 105 KB JPG >I says to my wife, "how come you can't take the Ring? It just doesn't seem fair making these Hobbit kids carry it" >And she says to me, "in place of the Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and despair!" >Nice to know she wouldn't let the Ring change her. >>671376963 # >>671382652 # >>671385423 # >>671385550 # >>671409558 # >>671409631 # >>671410254 # >>671411738 # >>671414624 # >>671416623 #

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Anon factory resets brain | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Late night thoughts 44 KB JPG 03/26/24(Tue)18:04:16 No. 10947199 > be me > don't go to school > be in bed all day > smoke dmt and weed before going to sleep > can't sleep > masturbated to help fall asleep > doesn't begin to feel urge to c-- until thinking about eating someone out > pretends I am eating my girlfriend's p---- > I am girlfriend > c-- to me eating my own imaginary p---- Did I just factory reset my brain?

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Anon tries to be funny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: LyJHMiRu 03/26/24(Tue)21:50:43 No. 19891531 >Walk into work >Co-worker points at my hat and says "Hey, that hat is a different color" >I try and be funny "You're a different color" >He's Mexican 51 KB JPG

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(jenny)(Jessica) (Emily) (and may) !!! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 52 KB JPEG 3/26/2024, 7:41:44 PM (Acute Night Earlier) No.38120050 > Jenny and her friends were having a high-school slumber party and all girls wanted slushies! they lovingly waited Until 4am to dress up in girly princess costumes and spend money! - lovingly ready to have so much fun lol - next they lovingly raced to Jenny's candy cane decorated vehicle in a awesome joyous rush, heads filled with cute silly thoughts! (cutebeginnings)

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