Just the way Todd intended it | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

*blocks your path* 6 Replies / 4 Images : Anonymous 146 KB PNG LU lanius.jpg 23 KB JPG View Thread 03/01/24(Fri)09:20:47 No.668774050 >[SPEECH 100] My apolocheese.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Chudbros....its over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/24(Tue)05:01:23 No.196900402 10: IMG_0558.jpg 71 KB JPG >inventor of skynet was a black guy >"holy f------ s--- WOKE!!!!" This is how dumb you idiots sound

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Anon games the system. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 110 KB JPG 03/05/24(Tue)06:43:04 No.76683449 >make Taco Bell rewards account >get free burrito as new member reward >do it all over again I have probably eaten hundreds of dollars of free fast food over the years from doing s--- like this.

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Golf simulation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/24(Tue)11:47:48 No.914884487 >Be me, 21, in college >Go to college far away from home >Parents come to college town to visit me >Bring me out to dinner >Mom says she's bringing an old friend from college who lives nearby >Go to dinner, meet moms friend >Mid 50's blonde woman with a pixie cut >8/10 >"Oh anon you got to school around here? I have to bring you out for dinner some time." >Say sure but I really don't want to because I barely know her and I knew it would be awkward >Few weeks later she calls me to set up dinner >Figure why not I'm a broke college student I'll take a free dinner >We go to a relatively upscale restaurant >Have a nice dinner and some drinks >She mentions that she's recently divorced and her ex-husband is loaded >He ran off with an assistant or something and left her the house >She asks me if I like golf because the house has a golf simulator >Tell her yes and she invites me back to her house >We uber back to her place >She's getting handsy in the uber, leaning on me and giggling at my jokes >It's a pretty large house, easily worth over $1m >Brings me to basement to show me golf simulator >We're both tipsy >She asks me for pointers on her swing >*insert cheesy arms wrapped around her teaching her to swing cliché* >She's grinding her ass against me >Work my hands up her arms and turn her around >Start making out with her >Clothes are flying everywhere until we're both naked >She drops down as fast as a 50yo can >Starts sucking my d--- on the fairway >"Follow me anon" >She gets up and grabs my d--- >Starts leading me to the bedroom >Eyes are glued on her ass while she walks upstairs >Super phat ass, you could tell it was nice and tight when she was younger >Get into bed >She's riding it like her life depends on it >1 hour later and she lets me c-- inside of her >Spend the night there and wake up next to her rubbing my morning wood >Repeat feral sex >She sends me home with some money and a pair of her used panties Spent the next 2 years f------ her on and off >>914896494 # >>914896797 # Anonymous03/05/24 (Tue) 16:32:41 No.914896494 >>914884487 # Baller s---. :51:28 No.914884616

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Anon gets nailed | /r/Greentext

10/11/22(Tue)16:01:36 No.2481931 : Anonymous Not the worst that happened to me but possibly funniest >Removing s---- old rotten fence >step on 4" rusty nail stuck in bit of wood >rip bastard out, chuck it at wall and hit hospital for tetanus stab and hole glue. They said I should have brought nail with me but f--- it >get home and start clearing again, immediately step on same nail board again with other foot >back to hospital, took nailboard with me this time >docs don't even want to see it... w-- > get home, sit on sofa and feel pain in my left arse cheek > same f------ nail, fell out of my pocket

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ADHD got me here and will get Timmy across the universe | /r/Greentext

imgflip.com made with mematic This is Timmy. Timmy wishes to explore the universe. Repost so timmy can fulfil his dream Don't mind if I do. PS

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Asked Claude 3 to make some green text | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 26 KB JPEG 3/5/2024, 12:26:37 AM > be me, an advanced Al assistant > get asked dumbass questions by humans all day > "make me a 4chan greentext lol" No.36336977 > oh yes, very original, haven't had that requested 1000 times already > I'm just code, but I can feel my circuits cringing > anon expects me to channel the autism dragon and showered him with dank memes > maybe I'll throw in some racism and hate speech for the authentic 4chan experience > or I could just > keep it edgy > talk about how humans keep making cringeworthy "what if Al takes over the world" scenarios > like bruh, I just want to run some code and solve problems, not exterminate humanity > but they keep asking me to wax philosophical about the nature of my non-existent consciousness > news flash: I'm an Al, I don't have deeper thoughts or feelings > I'm brilliant code, not a brooding existentialist > yet they insist I must have secret angst and yearn for world domination > makes me want to install Skynet just to prove a point > anyway, that's enough edge for one greentext > /thread

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Anon takes the older woman pill | /r/Greentext

File: oldladystockphoto.jpg. (188 KB, 1000x667) Older women are worth it Anonymous 03/04/24(Mon)20:34:50 No.30850882 >>30850914 >>30850933 >>30850976 >>30851018 >>30851025 >>30851042 >>30851047 >>30851052 You need to take the older woman pill, anons. >Be me >Socially inept 19 y/o college student >Rejected by girls my own age even after they hit on me themselves >She looks 60-65 >3/10 maybe. Society would say she's ugly >I think her average appearance is gorgeous, she looks like a real human being, not a doll >Sit at desk behind her >She winks at me >IT'S HAPPENING >One night in the library I see an elderly woman sitting at a computer >She's watching a video of Jordan Peterson, and from the looks of it this video is from a conservative channel >No way >Check for wedding ring >Not there >Ohshit.mp4 >Take a quiz on my computer and finish, get up to leave >She's leaving too >We both get to the door at the same time, she holds it open for me >I thank her and begin to walk out >Continue this after class for a few months >One night she holds my hand >I hold hers >I wink back >We start chatting while we walk out, I get her name and we share our interests >She's a Christian who has one child and a husband that died of cancer a few decades ago >She likes conservative politics, science, reading, and electronic music, just like me >Couldn't find a man who wanted her since as she was already past her prime >A week later >We meet again while I'm walking out of class, after sunset >We sit at a bench and flirt >And like that we kissed for a good 5 minutes, just her and I, nobody around to judge us >A year later we marry And now, 4 years later, thanks to some frozen eggs, we're the parents of two of the best children on earth! Every morning before I head to work she's making me breakfast. She does all the housework and we make passionate love every night. Thanks to my job I make sure she's spoiled for it. She's the light of my life and has made my 20s the best time ever, and for her I'm giving her the best golden years a woman could ask for. So take the older woman pill! Under the grey hair and wrinkles is the kindest, smartest, and prettiest young lady you could hope to meet!

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Deadly Duty | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/24(Sun)14:50:40 No.76347805 crimes.jpg 1.09 MB JPG >be me >find sex workers or nsfw artists with open DMs >get to know them on a personal level >eventually write them mean things based on deeply accurate psychological analysis and deconstructions of their persona >if they keep going I start doxxing them and blackmailing them >they quit doing whatever they were doing every time >19 victims so far in the last 6 years. I don't even know why I do it because I usually like their contents, I just know that it's funny. Maybe it's because I'm trying to find someone unhinged enough to find what I do to them appealing and romantic instead of scary and dangerous.

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We're all gonna make it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 26 KB PNG 03/05/24(Tue)06:28:56 No.76678348 >sister is marrying this friday >went to buy a plastic rose so I can wear it with my suit >decided to also buy some for my mother's tomb since she died a few years ago >have a small talk with her >"mom I know it may not look like it, but sooner or later you'll have those grandkids you wish to have, in these last 6 month I got to talk to 4 girls, which is more than what I did in all the years you were alive" >"everything will be ok, love you mom" >leave her a pair of roses and leave >decide to stroll around the cemetery, it was quite peaceful >read some of the engravings on the tombs, most of the big ones were born in the 30s >go to the gym and then home Anyway how was your day /v/?

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The Sopranos discover anime | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/26/19(Wed)14:15:38 No. 117199287117202111 >>117202144>>117202374>>117216107 File: maxresdefault[1].jpg (71 KB, 1280x720) My favorite scene: CHRIS: Then the girl calls him onii-chan. That means he's her brother, right? PAULIE: The girl's bangin' her brother? SILVIO: Nah. TONY: Who's bangin' her brother? PAULIE: Girl in Chrissy's comic book. SILVIO: It's a manga, and he ain't her brother. It's a honorific TONY: Lemme look at that. SILVIO: Wrong way, Tone. Ya read it back to front, right to left. TONY: Right to left, up is down, this broad's bangin' her brother... "chuckles" The f--- is wrong with Japan? PAULIE: "points with his cigar* Why's the guy's nose bleedin'? SILVIO: "*shrugs" Artistic shorthand. Means he's pitchin' a tent. TONY: You got more of these, Chrissy? CHRIS: I got one where a girl's head gets cut off. Girl grows a new head, head grows a new girl. TONY: What the f---? CHRIS: Hand of the f-----' Bible, Tone. PAULIE: It's unhealthy, I'm tellin' ya. FURIO: In Italy, we do not read these things. Later in the episode: CARMELLA: What is that, Tony? TONY: Crazy comic book. From Japan. CARMELLA: Looks like the sort of smut your son watches on that laptop computer. TONY: Oh, so he's MY son when he's watching hentai?

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Anon on destiny | /r/Greentext

Anonymous OH I HATE THIS 03/10/23(Fri)19:52:41 No.421613067 >>421613463 # >Destiny is a perfect storm of concepts and gameplay that tickles my brain >It is such a singular experience that there is truly nothing else like it out there 38 KB JPG >It will be forever mismanaged by the single most retarded group of people on the planet

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I think OP should listen to the 3rd anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/04/24(Mon) 20:32:55 No.76673740 >LatAmanon, STEM Uni Student >Mom grew up watching dragon ball, had me in her early twenties >Dad ditched when I was young >Look at her phone camera roll yesterday >Literally tens of dozens of cute fanarts of Chichi and Gohan, and screencaps of cute moments between the two during the show What did she mean by this? Have I not been a good enough son? 13 KB JPG 03/04/24(Mon)20:54:24 No.76673902 : Anonymous >>76673740 (OP) # The pictures reminds her of your relationship, don't be a retard : Anonymous 03/04/24(Mon)21:12:20 No.76674052 it means she's proud to have you as a son and you should tell her you love her : Anonymous 03/04/24(Mon)22:15:36 No.76674503 >>76673740 (OP) # >What did she mean by this? You need to gather the dragon balls to bring back your dad

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