be me grimlock | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: me.png (160 KB, 310x240) >answer phone >deadmonkeyvoice.mp3 me grimlock Anonymous 02/09/24 (Fri)23:42:30 No.913713221 >be me >makes milk sack talk with dead monkey voice >me Grimlock try on new shoulder pad >dead monkey yell back that new shoulder pad dumb looking >me Grimlock chuck it at tiny ape over there and tell it is not nice dead monkey and go back to bedroom >make dead monkey put me Grimlock down in throne chamber to watch ball game and eat tiny scraps of metal i call chips >stink bug ape whispers that these are not chips >kill that guy >bring in hot dog lizard man from bad place dimension to be good luck charm for sport ball games >someone is missing but not me Grimlock >ringring.wav >unimpressed lizard looks down at me grimlock >punch phone >watch sport ball game >boring Why does this always happen?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon tries something new | /r/Greentext

36 KB JPG > be me > desperately crave clussy, read too many greentexts > decide to get a clown prostitute > she arrives on a tiny bicycle with a red flag flying in the wind > take her upstairs, she has go tilt her shoes so they fit onto my stairs > she sits down on my bed and I hear a fart > wait no, it was just a whoopie-cushion > we both laugh > I start undressing her, she somehow has ten shirts and three bras on so it takes a while > start eating her out, tastes funny but I don't mind > after a while we switch positions and I start hitting it from behind, a soft squeak can be heard everytime my pelvis slaps against her ass > INeed ToKnow The Truth.jpg > grab a t---- > honkhonkhonk > hell f------ yes, they really do honk > keep hitting it from behind, the gorilla-grip clussy makes short work of me tho and I c-- inside her > she looks happy and she starts popping confetti cannons in celebration > she gets up, gets something out of her bag and slaps a cream pie into my face > "now we're even" she says while smirking, I feel like I could go for round 2 instantly Take the clussy pill bros, what are you waiting for?

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pottery.⠀⠀ | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >in tf2 the players killed the game OVERWATCH Z >in ow2 the game kills the player pottery. DON 02/15/24(Thu)23:41:22 No.667219387 300 KB JPG

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But he was the goat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous STAR WARS.com 02/16/24(Fri)09:33:47 No.196315208 IMG_4144.jpg 34 KB JPG >beat maul twice >beat the literal chosen one twice >killed general Greivous >beat count dooku f--- doll multiple times He wasn't the goat but he accomplished the most.

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Green Text over 4Chan | /r/Greentext

>> >> Anonymous 02/15/24(Thu)14:09:04 No.76471529 WHEN THE TEXT IS GREEN, AND ANON IS GAY THE STORY STARTS WITH ">be me straight" GAY EROTICA GAY EROTICA GAY EROTICA ON 4CHAN >>76471610 this is anon getting f----- by a twink Anonymous 02/15/24(Thu)14:19:41 No.76471610 >>76471689 File: raiden.png (1.26 MB, 1015x555) Oh, how pretty, all the greentexts Anonymous 02/15/24(Thu)14:27:52 No.76471689 >>76471871 Anonymous 02/15/24(Thu)14:49:16 No.76471871 >>76471689 When the c-- blows through with a brisk attack the femboy has destroyed his back

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Anon has a childhood friend | /r/Greentext

> be me, 13 years old > Mom's friend comes to my house with her 15 or 16 year old daughter > Beautiful petite girl, fall in love with her instantly > While our mothers talk in the living room we play in my xbox all day. she loves Tekken and call of duty ghost, play that cod game just for her > She even helps me with homework sometimes. Literal ASMR when she explains things to me in a sweet manner > Two months pass by, she gets a boyfriend > Literal fat guy with a beard she met at some party > Get angry as f--- don't talk to her again and start hanging more with my friends to play football while she comes home cause don't wanna see her, still in love tho. > Year later leave my city cause of dads work, time goes by and forget about her completely > Fast forward 3 months ago come back to my old city cause of college, stay with my grandma > Go out to the park for a walk and see her again, shes still beautiful ass hell, even more than before i would say > She sees me and waves at me while calling my name, we start talking, find out she's with the same guy from 10 years ago, don't really give much importance to it. > Spend 2 hours or so talking, we literally would have talked a lot more if it wasn't for the time, we say goodbye and she hugs me, literal 10 seconds hug. 44 KB JPG > Check her socials the guy still looks almost the same as i remember him, just different hairstyle. Why bros, why is such a ugly dude with such a preciosity? what does she see in him? We literally share so many things in common and is so easy to talk to her. She is nerdy, pretty and very friendly, literal one in a million. Is like she's doing pylanthrophy for a guy that doesn't have chance in the dating life. Like am not a 10, but i take care of myself and I'm fairly good looking. Idc if i make harm i'm goin all in with her wish me luck. View Thread

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Anon blames society | /r/Greentext

File: nerd rage.jpg (278 KB, 894x858) CON Mai My bike got stolen and i blame society Anonymous 02/15/24(Thu)21:21:05 No.76472127 ► >Be me >live in s----- apartment building thats part of an Old Folks home >Means i have to deal with Old people as neighbors but atleast the rent is cheap >For the first year put my bike in the house into corner under the stairs >Not the only one who does that >At some point some dementia karren complains that the bikes are in the way >w--.jpeg >Bikes are actually completely out of the way >Old lady continues to complain saying its in the way in case of a fire >Land Lord is a bitch and gives in >All bikes have to be removed >Land Lord is forced to build a s----- shed to keep bikes in >A bit annoying but it still works so no real problem >Shed has really cheap door so you have to turn key twice to actually lock it >Some Dementia patient forgets to turn key twice so its left unlocked >Other Karren neighbor gets really mad and complains to the Land Lord again >Land Lord puts really cheap wood piece in between the Lock and the Door >Now you only have to turn the Key once to lock the door >Doesn't sound that bad right? >The problem is that we have s--- weather here with lots of rain >Piece of wood absorbs the water and starts to swell >Wood piece now so big that you have to really force the door shut >Old people are to weak to close the door so the shed gets left unlocked >Next day two bikes including mine are gone F------ B------- i hate my f------ neighbors. The really annoying part is that the lady who complained at the start that the bikes were in the way is now using that corner to store her walkers. >> Anonymous 02/15/24(Thu)21:23:16 No.76472151 ► damn hank hill's f------ p-----

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Anon IS the Matrix. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous argina 2/14/2024, 6:16:32 PM No.63338149 337 KB JPEG > Be me, just an average guy with a boring job and a mundane life. > One day, I receive an anonymous letter claiming my entire life is a lie. > Laugh it off at first, but curiosity gets the best of me. > Start digging into my past, uncovering unsettling truths. > Discover I was actually kidnapped as a child and replaced with a clone. > My real family is wealthy and powerful, hiding their dark secrets. > Confront my "parents" about the truth, only to find out they're part of a sinister organization. > They reveal I was bred for a specific purpose: to carry out their twisted agenda. > Shocked and confused, I refuse to comply, determined to expose their evil deeds. > But then, the biggest plot twist of all: I realize I'm not the original clone. > I'm just another pawn in their sick game, and the real me died long ago. > Everything I thought I knew about myself is a fabrication. > My identity shattered, I'm left with nothing but the harsh reality of my existence. > And as I try to navigate this twisted maze of lies, I realize the true horror of my fate: I may never know who I really am.

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Anons discuss their paranormal trap experiences | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Sun 23 Feb 2014 00:24:20 No.14220610 Quoted By: >>14220634 >>14220563 actually OP, i do. >be me >21, at club >see gurl >go over to gurl and ask her "ay gurl u wan sum f--" >we go to the boy's restroom >i tell her take off her panties >she takes dem off >d---.jpeg >i gasp >he becomes a ghost and flies around >scared as s--- >he possesses me >die it's really hard to believe but it's 100% true Anonymous Sun 23 Feb 2014 00:26:11 No.14220624 Quoted By: >>14220639 > once f------ a trap for the hell of it > kick her in the balls bc it is kink as f--- > she screams in pain > her granda burts through the door > granda has cataracts and is blind > freaks the f--- out of me, lose the mood > asks if she is alright > grandma doesn't even know I'm there or that her grandson is a hot trap

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Anon is actually unironically straight (and lonely) | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/09/24 (Fri) 13:27:05 No.76404558► >>76404599 >>76404653 >>76405629 Women have soft and pretty voices. I like listening to women talk. Their voices make me feel good. I love women. << Anonymous 02/09/24(Fri)13:32:51 No.76404599 ► >>76404612 >>76405608 >>76404558 (OP) Any ASMR chicks to recommend? Anonymous 02/09/24(Fri)13:36:51 No.76404612 ► >>76405608 >>76404599 Idk I don't listen to asmr I just like listening to any woman with a soft voice >> Anonymous 02/09/24(Fri)13:45:55 No.76404653 ► >>76405073 >>76405558 >>76404558 (OP) Their so soft and warm when you get hugged by them. Their giggles are f----- adorable. I too love women >> Anonymous 02/09/24(Fri)15:08:32 No.76405073 ► >>76405511 File: 1693024764621618.gif (1.4 MB, 640x360) >>76404653 >Their so soft and warm when you get hugged by them. this too >get hugged by a small, skinny woman >they feel gentle and cute >get hugged by a bigger or chubby woman >they feel very soft and warm i wanna stop thinking about women but any contact at all with a woman feels so nice >> Anonymous 02/09/24(Fri) 16:11:55 No.76405511 ► >>76405588 >>76405073 >imagine she gets comfortable on you're shoulder on the couch >she falls asleep >her body is soft and warm >bonus if she has her hand on youre chest also a women smiling makes me so happy inside too bad I have literal diagnosed autism

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Rare anon W | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous DAYTI >"LETS GO!" >banger >hidden gem >souls-like 02/15/24(Thu)19:43:54 No.667174379 Why did this become such a prevalent saying lately related to gaming? Like it's already played out but people keep saying it over and over. Just stop. IMG_1084.jpg 56 KB JPG

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Anon is straight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous > be me > 17 male, straight > he because too. 245 KB JPEG 15/2/2024, 8:36:10 am No.26980415 Joma dont think i can come back to women

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Anon remembers the good ol days | /r/Greentext

PARENTAL ADVISORY EXPLICIT CONTENT blink-182 ab67616d0000b2736da502e35a7a3e48de2b0f74.jpg 147 KB JPG >watch early 2000s kino >blink 182 starts playing

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