Anon gets a cat | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 145391521408068008.jpg (7 KB, 250x237) 02/15/24(Thu)18:59:50 No.76470901 [Reply]► >>76471018 >>76471026 >>76471067 Anonymous >get a cat >he doesnt like to snuggle and cuddle >behves like some sort of a wild autist >kick him out of the house at night and leave him in the park better luck next time

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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McAnon designs the perfect McDonalds | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 490 KB PNG 02/15/24(Thu)11:24:48 No.20207229 >>20192898 (OP) # Hello McMarketer, there are a few requirements if you want me to eat at your establishment again: >lower mcdoubles down to $1 WITH tax, franchisees can figure out the price before tax based on locality >bring back the $1 any size soda, with infinite refills inside >stop using all sneed oils, go back to cooking in beef tallow >replace high fructose corn syrup with real cane sugar (none of that sneaky sugar beet, bitch) >alternative coupons for customers who don't want to use your spyware phone app for deals, sign up to receive a stack of coupons once a month or so in the mail or email >make the restaurants child friendly again, aggressively advertise ronald and his friends (especially the hamburglar god damn it) >ball pit, playground, video game console stations, etc >birthday party discount for parties up to 8 in size, 50% off, under age 18 >provide a separate area upstairs (yes, build a 2nd story in all locations) for adults that contains a smooth jazz lounge, free coffee refills, and a newspaper/magazine rack

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Anon's a dumbass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.62 MB PNG 2 Replies / 1 Image 02/15/24(Thu)11:13:13 No.76465024 tfw no postapocalyptic gf >she will never save you from mutant raiders by way of introduction >she will never w---- herself out to get enough food for the both of you >she will never let you knock her up to help repopulate the planet why live? View Thread

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Anon does not like Andrew Tate | /r/Greentext

Board /bant/ - International/Random Anonymous (ID: UGUxxDhz 7 KB PNG ▼ Settings Mobile Home 02/15/24(Thu)07:08:38 No.19593412 >*YOU DONT GET IT MOM. IM STARTING MY OWN BUSINESS. IM BECOMING AN ENTREPRENEUR.* >*I JUST NEED $900 FOR THE HUSTLERS UNIVERSITY COURSES* >*NO MOM, ITS BETTER THAN COLLEGE* >*ITS LIKE COLLEGE BUT WITHOUT THE WOKE LEFT INDOCTRINATING MY MIND* >*ANDREW TATE TOLD ME THAT ALL COLLEGE DOES IS WASTE YOUR TIME AND MONEY* >*NO MOM ITS BETTER THAN GETTING A JOB.* >*I WILL BE JUST LIKE ANDREW TATE MOM, I CAN TRAVEL AS I PLEASE AND ONCE IM RICH I'LL GET ALL THE WOMEN* >*WHAT DO YOU MEAN TOO OLD, IM ONLY 36 MOM.* >*WHATEVER, YOUR JUST A STUPID WOMEN WHO DOES'NT UNDERSTAND THE HUSTLE.* >*I GUESS IF YOU WONT GIVE ME THE MONEY, I WILL HAVE TO SELL DADS BASEBALL CARDCOLLECTION*

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Anon meets a porn star | /r/Greentext

Guys I feel f------ sick to my stomach... Guys I feel f------ sick to my(...) 780 KB JPG 02/13/24(Tue)16:16:38 No.19584218 qrd > Gf is friends with the girl in pic. > We go to party and meet her and her bf > Dude seems cool as hell, funny, > several days later gf gets drunk one night while watching movie >we talk about them, say they seem nice >she mentions she's happy she settled down and found a guy > mentions how much of a huge w---- she used to be >When I ask she tells me that she told her she used to p--- >feel sick and disgusted... He also doesn't know >post a photo of her online to a pornsite asking coomers if they know who she is >They come back with the source to the video and pics. >f------ coal burner... How do I tell him what happened without being ostracized and hated by my gf for f------ up her friends relationship?

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Cant be more over than this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 208 KB JPG 02/14/24(Wed)23:02:46 No.76458535 >Sit next to woman on plane >I pretend to be asleep the whole time >She curls over and goes to sleep with her black touching my side and leg >Feel thankful for the free female physical contact >Imagine life together I'm starting to think that being born as a low status male is a result of bad karma in a past life

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Is this greentext too far? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Is cuddling another boy gay? 96 KB JPG >de affe cat >end ST 01/12/24(Fri)05:13:42 No.34226034 >be me >cis straight >tr you get the idea he

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Anon learns the truth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 18 minutes ago SPOILERS 2 REPLIES 76465318 >be me >heard of 4chan, never actually gone on it >decide today is the day >open 4chan >see nothing but p--- >ok lets not jump to conclusions, continue browsing >stumble across r9k >literally just a degenerate cesspool filled with p---, and self hating morons >pic not related 4chan why are you the way that you are?

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Anon has a job | /r/Greentext

>be me bottomless pit inspector > Job is to inspect bottomless pits for safety regulations > Wake up at 6am, grab my hard hat and safety gear > Arrive at the site, greeted by fellow inspectors > Begin descent into the pit, flashlight in hand > Reach the bottom... f--- > Panic sets in as I realize the pit has an end > Report my findings to the supervisor > Get fired for failing to ensure the pit's bottomlessness > Land a new job as a Bottom Pit Inspector > During my first inspection, the pit I'm inspecting is bottomless > Get fired again. > Life is over. Jump into bottomless pit >mfw its only 2 feet deep

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Anon contemplates war | /r/Greentext

5h (2/10 6:20) 60901532 JPG 311KB (800 × 1030) Tom_Lea_-_2000_Yard_Stare.jpg 7 Replies >300 BC >Gets trampled and eviscerated by war elephants >100 AD >Get hacked to death by a bunch a nude Germans in the Black Forest >1000 AD >Takes boiling water to the face while climbing a castle wall >1500 AD >Drown in mud because you horse got killed and your armor is too heavy to get back up >1700 AD >Get both your legs ripped off by a cannonball >1916 AD >Die suffocating in a hole after inhaling poison gas >1945 AD >Get burned to a crisp by a flamethrower in a s----- bunker >2000 AD >Get killed by an Amazon drone while taking a s--- Anons, I'm started to think war always sucked

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Anon's being bugcel on the Valentine's day | /r/Greentext

YWNFYB Anonymous (ID: UCC7AWqR 02/14/24(Wed)2 You will never find your bug You will never sit with her on a stalk holding legs You will never copulate and make eggs together You will die a lonely insect never feeling other chitin exoskeleton

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The Machine Eats Itself | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Apps (4) > > Discord (32 bit) (6) Opera GX Internet Browser (25) Spotify (8) Task Manager 02/14/24(Wed)16:18:51 No.98991383 14 KB PNG 0% 15.0% 0% 0.1% 285.6 MB 2,439.8 MB 232.6 MB 21.4 MB 0 MB/s 0.3 MB/s 0 MB/s 0 MB/s Hi /g/ Is there any reason why Opera GX takes up over 2.5GB when Im running a youtube video? 0.1 Mbps 0.1 Mbps 0 Mbps 0 Mbps All those 25 tabs have been pinned so I can watch them later so they shouldn't be using much (if not any) ram.

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Most Honorable Admiral | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 0 Qa K/s 02/09/24(Fri) 18:00:39 No.60896298 01:05 * * *** Screenshot_20240209_102543_Firefox.jpg 137 KB JPG >Admiral Fukyu N----- was born in 1880 in a fishing village near Nagasaki. He was born into an ancient samurai clan called "Kuru Krux." >From a young age he was determined to serve in the Imperial Navy and was accepted into the naval academy, where his excellent grasp of the tea ceremony and ability to bow much lower than anybody else ensured his fast graduation. >At the age of 17 he served in the Navy during the Russo-Japanese War and distinguished himself during the Battle of Tsushima by sinking the Russian cruiser Vranya with a single torpedo that struck the vodka storage. >His career was mostly uneventful afterwards until the '20s, when he fell in with the hyper-militaristic crowd. >After coups and government restructuring, Adm. Fukyu N----- was assigned command of the 7th Fleet in the war against China. >He distinguished himself again by his numerous war crimes near Shanghai, including the infamous "Night of 1,000,000 Rapes" for which he was awarded the Order of the Heavenly Katana. >In 1940 as diplomacy with America broke down, he was called to several meetings in Tokyo to discuss the feasibility of war with America. During one of these meetings, after Adm. Yamamoto remarked that Japan had no real chance of victory, Adm. Fukyu N----- flew into a violent rage. >He dropped his trousers and began furiously masturbating while screeching the Bushido Code, which he had memorized. He then declared: "IF WE DON'T GO TO WAR WITH GAIJIN I WILL KILL EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM AND R--- THEIR CORPSES, INCLUDING THE EMPEROR!!!" >This display of the Yamato Spirit impressed everyone deeply, and Hirohito applauded his dedication. 02/09/24(Fri) 18:01:06 No.60896300 : Anonymous >>60896298 (OP) # >After the Pearl Harbor attack, Adm. Fukyu N----- was assigned to the defense of Japan's outer posessions. Here he established his credibility by refusing to properly guard Japanese convoys, ignored air defenses, and disengaged from every battle where he had a decisive advantage. >He developed an intense rivalry with Adm. Desu Sugoi and Gen. Sashimi Sushi, repeatedly refusing to provide proper support to both. When questioned about this by his superiors, Adm. Fukyu N----- would begin screeching about "samurai honor and pride" while threatening to committ Seppuku and Sudoku. This further display of the Yamato Spirit got him assigned to increasingly important assignments. >During the naval battle at Bungo-Bungo, as his destroyers and cruisers werr being r---- by PT boats, he withdrew his battleships to save face, remarking "Ror, rmao!" >As the war turned decisively against Japan, Adm. Fukyu N----- was given command of Suicide Fleet No. 4. His task was to take his fleet into hopeless battle and get everyone killed, in the hope that this would motivate the rest of Japan. >He approved of this plan, remarking that "Those who kill theselves will cause resources and well-trained pilots to appear out of nowhere and ensure victory." >His suicide fleet was jumped by submarines and carrier planes, with every ship destroyed except for the cruiser Chokobo, which picked up the 40 survivors of the whole expedition. >As his flagship, the battleship Senpai was sinking (still being torpedoed in anvill attacks), he committed Seppuku while writing a Haiku: >My life ebbs away >Like the nakadashi flows >From a loli's cun >He is comemmorated in the Tokyo War Shrine and several nationalist groups celebrate his birthday. >>60896640 # >>60896977 # >>60896996 # >>60897140 # >60897426 # >>60897498 # >>60897744 # >>60897778 # >>60898702 # >>60899132 # >>60900639 # >>60900713 # >>60900753 # >>60900817 # >>60900909 # >>60902974 # >60904121 # >>60904187 # >>60904331 # >>60905815 # >>60905907 # >>60906270 # >>60906500 # >>60906756 # >>60907680 # >>60908654 # >>60911359 # >>60911463 # >>60914922 # >>60916000 # >>60918069 # >>60918471 # >>60920287 # >>60923978 # : Anonymous 02/09/24(Fri) 18:10:19 No.60896372 You forgot about Rear Admiral Buk Brakeru anon

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