Anon is not unemployed enough | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous (ID: OHmzUjsS) 160 KB JPG 01/31/24(Wed)18:48:44 No.457114602 >be me >spanish >unemployed >I should learn how to weld, many jobs ask for it, it will be a good addition to my CV >go to unemployment services, they do trade courses for free. >I am not selected because I am not unemployed enough and Raschid and Mutombo have priority over my indigenous ass. F--- this place, f--- this joke of country run by literal thieves, f--- boomers for being overindulgent s--- that only thinks on gibs, f--- millenials for being npcs and f--- zoomers for being less than npcs. this place is hell.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Open na noor... (Anon has a short horror game idea) | /r/Greentext

File: approach.jpg (80 KB, 600x490) I O Anonymous 02/10/24(Sat)11:47:38 No.666691865 [Reply] >make a game with absolutely no opening, intro, plot, backstory or anything >start the game, immediately places you in an empty house >you walk around examining things but can't actually really do anything > you can go outside and into the lawn and walk around >most would get bored with the game and turn it off >the next time the game is turned on, as opposed to only allowing it to be daylight for the first time it is opened, the rest of the game will be in night time and nothing can change this, no brightness settings will be included in the settings >players will suddenly find out that they are given the ability to open things, but only open things >after the first 2 minutes, a small square will appear in the top right corner of the players screen and it will show an outside view of the house from something else's perspective >the view will approach the house, ever so slightly >the player is given the option to open the curtains and doors to the outside, but doing so will cause the view in the square to speed up immensely while the door/blind is open. >the player will be visible from the square screen moving around the house >as the view approaches the door, it doesn't open it, and it is out of view from all windows >small white text appears in the center view of the player >"Open the door"

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T-800maxxing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous : Anonymous >>196124015 (OP) # Based I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it "the terminator". First I crouch down in the shower in the classic "naked terminator traveling through time" pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy. I found tonight that it is more successful to progressively humm it louder as you perform the ritual. : Anonymous : Anonymous nice night for a walk 02/10/24(Sat)09:23:19 No.196124015 : Anonymous arnold.jpg 57 KB JPG 02/10/24(Sat)09:27:30 No.196124141 02/10/24(Sat)09:28:47 No.196124180 02/10/24(Sat)09:29:14 No.196124189 02/10/24(Sat)09:32:06 No.196124272 Please be patient I have autism B4FA0EED-617B-405B-8C90-FC384096E0B7.jpg 16 KB JPG >I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it "the terminator". First I crouch down in the shower in the classic "naked terminator traveling through time" pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy. I found tonight that it is more successful to progressively humm it louder as you perform the ritual.

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Anon is disappointed with his daughter. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I failed as a father 28 KB PNG 02/09/24(Fri) 19:13:17 No.913700196 >be me 28m >have daughter >she's 5 and in private school >bust my ass to pay tuition >didn't want the public school system corrupting her >get a call from her mother while at work >she caught our daughter recording herself twerking bottomless with her tablet >leave work early >rush home >interrogate her on where she learned this behavior >turns out she learned this behavior from another girl in her class >all that hard work and they still got her She's 5 and already on her way at becoming a w----......

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Anon is a White House staffer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: qW8cJeDh 02/09/24(Fri)09:32:27 No.458098551 >>458093134 (OP) >be young ivy league educated staffer >be called to meeting with POTUS >OH S--- THIS IS IT THIS IS WHAT I TRAINED FOR >biden asks a question >"What do we do about the Gaza border?" >"Well Mr. President given international pressure and the humanitarian crisis I think we should ask Israel to open the border... >"WHO?" >"Uh...Israel sir..." >Biden looks around disgusted >"What the f--- does Israel have to do with the Gaza border?" >blank stares >"Uh...sir...Gaza is in Israe..." >"NO. Son, who borders Gaza?" >"Mr. President sir?" >"NO, OBAMA DOESN'T BORDER GAZA! WHO BORDERS GAZA?" >sweating "Uh...Israel sir..." >"NO!" >shaking, sweating..."but sir..." >"MEXICO IS ON THE BORDER OF GAZA OR LITTLE GIRLS DIDN'T PLAY WITH MY LEG HAIRS IN THE POOL!" >dead silence >"Now contact the president of Mexico, Mr. Putin, and tell him to tear down this wall!" >"Ye... Yes sir."

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Anon is dealing with REAL problems. | /r/Greentext

File: 1705872946920608s.jpg (5 KB, 220x220) Anonymous 02/09/24 (Fri) 16:09:27 No.76408438 [Reply] >tfw i will never have the omnitrix and be a hero. >>76408495

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Don't try, I'm not here. | /r/Greentext

JPG | 1.08 MB Saturday 2024-02-10 00:34:24 41 minutes ago I understand men >ask other femanons to play video games with me >two femanons add me >one says we will play after she is done studying >the other says she will play after work >been 2 weeks >still haven't played either of them Why are other women like this? I never ghost people without an explanation. Do men experience this when dating? Because if so I definitely understand not wanting to date. If making a plan to play a video game is this hard just imagine planning a date. I feel sorry for the men that have to deal with that.

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Don't you hate me? I know I would. | /r/Greentext

JPG | 67.65 KB Friday 2024-02-09 23:05:32 2 hours ago anyone else like this? >make a bunch of friends >become very close with them >they adore me >start acting like a p------------ for no reason >make plans just to cancel them >reel them in by being nice for awhile >act like a p------------ again >it just makes them love me even more why am i like this

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It's not green, downvote away | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 19 KB WEBP 2/9/2024, 3:30:13 PM Open game Stare at screen Close game Open game 2 Stare at screen Close game Open game 3 Stare at screen Sigh... Close game No.71953299

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Anon is playing minesweeper. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 148 KB JPG 02/09/24 (Fri)14:40:28 No.76407665 >be me >try to go the gym >everywhere there's girls with their asses out >try to gravitate my gaze toward the ground >try to find the locker rooms without getting cancelled >it's like a f------ minesweeper game >except mines there's asses and crotches of way to tight clothes

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What's even the point | /r/Greentext

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I've been forced to remember, Everything I want to forget. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 76404789 >Be me >Be sick of being a mentally ill schizoid autist >Decide that I am going to npcmaxx >Buy a six pack of beer, turn on the cricket, and spend the whole night trying to surpress any internal monologue I have JPG | 40.51 KB Friday 2024-02-09 16:12:03 2 hours ago >Any time a thought comes up, I just drown it out with an npc phrase >"THE WINDIES ARE LOOKING GOOD THIS YEAR", "THEY ARE REALLY PUTTING ME UNDER THE PUMP AT WORK", "YEAH, I GUESS THE LATEST MARVEL FILM WAS ALRIIIIIGHT..." >Get tired and buzzed and go to bed >This is usually the time when the existential dread hits the hardest >Just use my trick to interrupt my internal monologue >"NEVER BEEN A HUGE FAN OF THE IMPORTED BEERS", "THE LAWN COULD USE A BIT OF A MOW", "IT'S A HOT ONE TODAY, BUT AT LEAST ITS A DRY HEAT" >Fall asleep pretty fast >Wake up feeling better than I ever had >Get to the office >Head straight to the kitchen for coffee >One of my coworkers who I never talk to is there already >Without thinking, just blurt out "BACK AT IT FOR ANOTHER WEEK, AY" >He says "TOO RIGHT, MATE, TOO RIGHT. ANOTHER HOT ONE TODAY, THOUGH, AY?" >"YEAH, BUT AT LEAST ITS A DRY HEAT" >Get to my desk feeling pretty pumped : Ngl bros, this feels pretty f------ good. You should try it.

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"Interesting choice of words there, Mr President" | /r/Greentext

2MiB, 1552x868, 1688872751737.png View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO [4/2/4] Anonymous Fri 29 Dec 2023 18:09:53 No.191833090 Quoted By: >>191833129 >>191833156 >If Ivanka wasn't my daughter, perhaps I would be dating her. >It's okay to call Ivanka a piece of ass. >If I weren't happily married and, ya know, her father... What did he mean by this? View Reply Original Report

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