Anon goes to therapy. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 04/17/21(Sat)21:41:13 No.63265334 >Talking to a therapist, she asks me about my sexual history >Tell her I'm a virgin still at 28 WHAH My I did... 55 KB JPG >"Oh, so you're asexual?" >"No, I'm not, I want to have sex I just haven't." >"What do you mean?" >"What do you mean what do I mean?" >"You can't tell me you've honestly been trying this long and are still a virgin?" >mfw I didn't know what to f------ say to that and she changed the subject. Therapy is f------ useless. View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Dumbledore explains the plothole | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/08/24(Mon)21:23:01 No.194612886 Dumbledore.png 448 KB PNG >Harry, did I ever tell you about Time-Turners? They are magical devices that allow the user to travel backwards in time. This incredible power can even be used to save loved ones from death, as you and your friends discovered with Buckbeak. Despite the fact that the Ministry has an entire closet full of Time-Turners, we never once thought to use one to end Voldemort's reign of terror. It would have been as simple as using one right after he killed one of his victims, say, your parents, and then lying in wait to ambush him before he showed up. Alas, time travel is simply too dangerous to meddle with. It must only be used for the express purpose of allowing a little girl to take extra classes one semester, and only if she is a good friend.

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Anon activates his tard strength | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 103 KB JPG >ivehadenough.exe >"I'll show them!" >jump out of bed as high as I can and thrust my legs down to increase the impact on the floor 01/09/24(Tue)09:53:49 No.912088002 >hear two massive crashes from downstairs followed by child crying >be me >33 year old alcoholic >downstairs neighbors have 5 y/o little s--- >sounds like they have nightly furniture moving competitions and the screaming never ends >me suffering in bed with a hangover >almost s--- my pj's out of fear >several minutes later ambulance, police, fire truck, and landlord show up >pj's are shat >start throwing back shots of liquid cirrhosis because I have anxiety >knock at the door but pretend I'm not home >phone rings, luckily it's on silent >"anon, are you home?!" I hear through the door >lost in the sauce at this point and don't answer >find out next day a portion of their ceiling collapsed along with their kitchen cabinets : Anonymous >no one knows it was me >downstairs family finds new apartment because they don't feel safe here >peace at last BOOBA 1.06 MB PNG 01/09/24(Tue)09:56:43 No.912088133 >>912088002 (OP) # Put me in the screenshot, redditors

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Anon wears pants | /r/Greentext

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Anon has shower sex | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 38 KB JPG 08/17/18(Fri)02:45:42 No.47557562 2 Replies >Be me >Take shower >Water touches my whole body including c--- >Watercycle.jpg >Girl takes shower >Water touches vagina >Mfw I basically had shower sex Later virgins View Thread 08/17/18(Fri)03:07:53 No.47557792 : Anonymous >>47557562 (OP) # F--- OFF NORMIE GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT

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Anon goes to Japan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 141 KB PNG >go to japan >girl at a bar bought me a(n expensive) drink >asked to see my passport >took a pic of it >said she was going to the bathroom and never came back >see same girl at another bar >she pretended not to know me >tell her i recognize her tattoo >she suddenly doesn't speak english anymore >bartender tells me to leave

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Just incel things | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 45 KB JPG 05/17/22(Tue)13:14:03 >random girl is nice to you for 5 seconds No.168138175 >daydream a whole relationship with her for weeks What a loser r-right bros? N-never happened to me.

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On and on you are just like my favorite song | /r/Greentext

1h (1/9 1:10) 76047520 · 11 Re - 0 Img PNG 25KB (370x320) 1694007935846400.png 8 Replies >get gf >things going OK for some time >expenses creeping up because she needs to eat out every other day and buy new clothes every weekend, but apart from that, its fine >September 2023 >she NEEDS to see this band in another city >buy VERY expensive tickets + transportation, hotel, she even demanded to buy a expensive costume to attend the concert etc >fortunately arranged to pay the whole thing in 2 installments which made it more accessible >about to pay off the 2nd installment, feel relief >says another band is coming in a few months and NEEDS to see it >buy VERY expensive tickets + transportation (plane tickets) hotel >again manage to arrange to pay in a few installments to make it more affordable >yesterday >about to pay off the last installment, happy its over, can finally save some money >says another band is coming in a few months and NEEDS to see it holy F--- i thought women not knowing how to save money and being responsible for 90% of all spending was just a meme, but no, its real.

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Anon is depressed | /r/Greentext

122 KB JPG 03/26/22(Sat) 19:16:05 No.67947955 >Be extremely depressed >Make up delusions of grandeur and superiority >Start unironically believing said delusions >Stop being depressed and feel like a literal god for no reason at all It's this easy, you can change so much in a moment, reality is merely an illusion you can bend to your will and so is your personality. 8 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous View Thread 03/26/22(Sat) 19:24:26 No.67 >>67947955 (OP) # you're legitimately describing manic depression

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Anon's foolproof retirement plans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: HgMqmU2Q 218 KB JPG 01/08/24(Mon)16:52:52 No.19354674 "Where do you see yourself in 5 years." Plan A: >wageslave until 65 Plan B: >move to norway/sweden >catfish p--- into meeting up with me >kill them brutally >do this as many times as i can >eventually get cought >live comfortably in prison for the next 20 years >ill see from there

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A glitch in the matrix | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/09/24(Tue)01:33:41 No.76045997 >become homeless >no longer care about materialism >don't need a phone >don't need money >just get fed by charities and be free >no rent, no bills, free healthcare some days i think about packing it all in

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Santa has an opinion on infantry troops | /r/Greentext

Santa Claus Infantrymen be like 01/08/24(Mon)12:55:32 No.663136876 F--- Horses Horses Stink d.o. infantry 4 Lyfe X Unbenannt.png 39 KB PNG >Oooh yeah, I am Infantroooning >Cavalery? Horsefucker! HORSEFUCKER!!! >No, I don't have a foot fetish. >Yeah, fighting on foot makes me so hard. >Horses are only good for eating. >Why would you ride a retarded horse if you can just fight on foot? >Infantry for da epic win!!! >I am Infantroooooo0000000000000000000000 00000000000oooning!!! 00000000000000000000000000000000000

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Anon gets an interesting hookup | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 211 KB JPG 04/07/21 (Wed)01:43:13 No.851492990 > be me > going to bang chick i met on tinder > arrive at her house > she immediately leads me in to the bedroom > she pulls her pants down enough so that only her ass is visible > meh, a---'s fine too i guess > dont think any more about it, just bust into her ass > she suddenly tells me she has a surprise for me > she pulls at her head, taking off a mask > it's f------ joe rogan > he laughs and calls me a f----- before body slamming me to the ground, breaking my neck and instantly paralyzing me

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