On and on you are just like my favorite song | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

1h (1/9 1:10) 76047520 · 11 Re - 0 Img PNG 25KB (370x320) 1694007935846400.png 8 Replies >get gf >things going OK for some time >expenses creeping up because she needs to eat out every other day and buy new clothes every weekend, but apart from that, its fine >September 2023 >she NEEDS to see this band in another city >buy VERY expensive tickets + transportation, hotel, she even demanded to buy a expensive costume to attend the concert etc >fortunately arranged to pay the whole thing in 2 installments which made it more accessible >about to pay off the 2nd installment, feel relief >says another band is coming in a few months and NEEDS to see it >buy VERY expensive tickets + transportation (plane tickets) hotel >again manage to arrange to pay in a few installments to make it more affordable >yesterday >about to pay off the last installment, happy its over, can finally save some money >says another band is coming in a few months and NEEDS to see it holy F--- i thought women not knowing how to save money and being responsible for 90% of all spending was just a meme, but no, its real.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is depressed | /r/Greentext

122 KB JPG 03/26/22(Sat) 19:16:05 No.67947955 >Be extremely depressed >Make up delusions of grandeur and superiority >Start unironically believing said delusions >Stop being depressed and feel like a literal god for no reason at all It's this easy, you can change so much in a moment, reality is merely an illusion you can bend to your will and so is your personality. 8 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous View Thread 03/26/22(Sat) 19:24:26 No.67 >>67947955 (OP) # you're legitimately describing manic depression

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Anon's foolproof retirement plans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: HgMqmU2Q 218 KB JPG 01/08/24(Mon)16:52:52 No.19354674 "Where do you see yourself in 5 years." Plan A: >wageslave until 65 Plan B: >move to norway/sweden >catfish p--- into meeting up with me >kill them brutally >do this as many times as i can >eventually get cought >live comfortably in prison for the next 20 years >ill see from there

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A glitch in the matrix | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/09/24(Tue)01:33:41 No.76045997 >become homeless >no longer care about materialism >don't need a phone >don't need money >just get fed by charities and be free >no rent, no bills, free healthcare some days i think about packing it all in

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Santa has an opinion on infantry troops | /r/Greentext

Santa Claus Infantrymen be like 01/08/24(Mon)12:55:32 No.663136876 F--- Horses Horses Stink d.o. infantry 4 Lyfe X Unbenannt.png 39 KB PNG >Oooh yeah, I am Infantroooning >Cavalery? Horsefucker! HORSEFUCKER!!! >No, I don't have a foot fetish. >Yeah, fighting on foot makes me so hard. >Horses are only good for eating. >Why would you ride a retarded horse if you can just fight on foot? >Infantry for da epic win!!! >I am Infantroooooo0000000000000000000000 00000000000oooning!!! 00000000000000000000000000000000000

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Anon gets an interesting hookup | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 211 KB JPG 04/07/21 (Wed)01:43:13 No.851492990 > be me > going to bang chick i met on tinder > arrive at her house > she immediately leads me in to the bedroom > she pulls her pants down enough so that only her ass is visible > meh, a---'s fine too i guess > dont think any more about it, just bust into her ass > she suddenly tells me she has a surprise for me > she pulls at her head, taking off a mask > it's f------ joe rogan > he laughs and calls me a f----- before body slamming me to the ground, breaking my neck and instantly paralyzing me

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Anon wishes he was a landlord because of trans housemates | /r/Greentext

01/07/24(Sun)07:22:53 No.30517871 >trans housemates bedroom is really starting to reek >when the door is open I can see trash is piling up all over the floor >mold is growing on their windows, I have offered multiple times to show them how to clean it but they just keep saying they'll do it themselves >random items go missing: plates, measuring jugs, cook pots, extension cables, knives >the slightest setback results in them performing highly melodramatic full bodied racking sobs to be heard by the whole house >they tried to kill themselves late last year so what do I do without setting off this minefield Anonymous 85 KB JPG Anonymous >>30517871 (OP) # Threaten to evict, or move out yourself. If neither of these are doable, please explain why. >>30517886 # 01/07/24(Sun)07:23:38 No.30517875 Anonymous >>30517875 # I'm not the landlord I cant evict them >>30517895 # >>30518034 # 01/07/24(Sun)07:25:33 No.30517886

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Anon tries repressing and gets gayer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.86 MB PNG Anonymous 01/08/24(Mon)10:49:53 No.76044283 I will be alone forever. >try to repress my homosexuality by jerking off to big booba women 01/08/24(Mon)10:55:17 No.76044324 >going great >go to bed >dream I am having sex >huge fat guy >im topping >we both c-- at the same time like in my animes >covers my face and pillow in ungodly amount of >>76044392 # >>76044422 # coom >wake up checking pillow for coom >thankfully didn't c-- in my pants What does it all mean? : Anonymous Anonymous >>76044324 # i wish i were having your dreams, i am not sure dude maybe you are ironically a repressed heterosexual, think about it, have a big think 01/08/24 (Mon)11:03:39 No.76044392 01/08/24 (Mon)11:07:17 No.76044422 >>76044324 # The more you try to repress it the worse it gets anon.

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I remember | /r/Greentext

3h (1/8 15:16) 76043048 8 Re - 1 Img PNG 145KB (640 × 513) · B4B26240-9A11-45F4-B56F-2D3FB445EBCA.png 3 Replies >swap shifts with a coworker >qt coworker sees me and is surprised >in the past i told her i like curly hair >if i knew you were coming i would not have straightened my hair anon! >mfw she has a boyfriend and way out of my league what did she mean by this?

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Anons 18 and underprepared | /r/Greentext

Anonymous SHITSHITSHIT 122 KB GIF 01/08/24 (Mon) 08:54:45 No.30525353 >be me >18 >graduate senior highschool >now plan is to rest or get a part time job for like 1 year. if 1 year passes now i go to college >parents disagree >pressured to go to college instead when im done graduating senior highschool >3 months in >parents always fight >so tired. need rest >afraid to tell parents cuz they will kick me out >dont tell parents im not going to college >instead i said college is online when its really not >do this for 2 months >failed 1st semester but dont care >now parents are suspicious >dad yells at me and threatened me to kick out >i say its still online >believes me >now january 15 will start 2nd semester i underestimated college. they will definitely kick me out if i tell the truth. they are not merciful.

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Anon views new social horizons | /r/Greentext

File: Ec80MetXSAAVVhF.jpg (77 KB, 1242x1464) Ogrowth of social skills Anonymous 01/07/24(Sun)13:47:20 No.76034889 ► >>76034892 > be me, obsessed with books > part with also bookish gf of 5 months last christmas but on good terms > take a year off investing deeply in relationships to finish my associate's and look for work > graduate in spring, vacation 2 states away all summer (nice & affordable) and then back home to play the interview game > after getting accepted as a waiter at 2 different places I luck the hell out and get accepted as a technical writer for ERP software last october, and in my hometown no less > this company is the best place to work, all coworkers are quick-minded but none are snobby, with tastes varied as the day is long > head of CS is girl my age, likes a lot of the same books as my ex, but extraverted instead of enormously introverted > barely see her anymore, but hey they would probably be good friends > all three of us are at church this morning so I intorduce them as best I know how, and they hit it off immediately, but since I'm nervous I need the restroom by now > last I saw, after 20 minutes they were rooted to the same spot still deep in conversation I would not have been able to read people well enough to anticipate this before my last year of experience, maybe a but weird to share but its a nice feeling not being totally baffled by people's aims and decision making Anonymous 01/07/24(Sun)13:47:48 No.76034892 ► >>76034889 (OP) Good work my friend, hopefully you make it

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Unchecked baggage | /r/Greentext

2h (1/8 16:25) 76043383 · 14 Re · 0 Img JPG 405KB (1500 × 1500) · hungrypepe.jpg 3 Replies . HUNGRY PERE Summer Camp entrepreneur Summer camp story >Be me >At a summer camp >Hungry as f--- >Grew tired of eating camp slop : >Missed junk food >Retarded camp banned Coca Cola/Chips or any other junk food but allowed candy bars, Nestea with sugar dose enough to give anyone diabetes and even sold them in Summer Camp shop. >I solved the issue of Coca Cola access by hiding it in my locked luggage between my clothes >Other people weren't so lucky, Had a retarded Camp guy who would search any unlocked baggages. >I had enough room for other bottles so I would sell my space for other people in exchange for money >That still left the junk food problem, pizza to be specific. >I asked the chef if I could borrow cheese, bread and ketchup >Chef allowed thanks to my Charisma level >Started making my own pizza >Added some cracker bits with Italian spices I had as a flavor additive. >Anon what the f--- are you eating? said some person >Told them about my pizza >Started selling pizzas to people in exchange for money >Despite this positive memory. Summer camp sucked. but I had learned great entrepreneur skills there so there is that.

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Anon plays Roblox | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/08/24(Mon)18:50:06 No.912054561 >>912054646 File: 1704366446496767m.jpg (85 KB, 578x1024) >>912054082 # >be me >just turn 20 >go out drinking with childhood friends >hop in buddy's car with him as driver because we gonna live forever >guy goes downhill towards turnoff onto a bridge going about 200km/hr >car rolls a bunch of times >driver lost his head >buddy in back seat lost his arm >me in front passenger seat hit my head and go into coma >wake up a week later smoothcriminal.mp3

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