Anon chortles really hard at gayness and fakeness | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

PROFESSIONAL >be le massive reditor REDDITORS >heaving over desk to view screen >bad eyesight.jpg > Can't read anything unless it's green >see a short story >hack up a lung chortling at the misfortunes of others >think up most witty reply ever made since that of mark twain >"hmmm yes why my dear fellows this is homosexual...." >and with baited breath I continue >"and FAKE!" >slam down finger on keyboard, break bones in finger >have cardiac arrest laughing at how witty I am > Everything must be homoerotic as per my reddit mandate >nobody on the net can have lives whilst I own a keyboard! > Picrel

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon doesn't like celebrities (me too) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: R4TGYLr2) 08/05/20(Wed)15:51:50 No.271274004 SANTA 55jS2lh.jpg 88 KB JPG >Imagine being a little starving ner baby in Africa and Hollywood's A-List multimillionaire actress Charlize Theron arrives and says she's gonna adopt you and give you a life of luxury. H--------, you can't believe your luck. You're gonna live in LA, eat whatever you want, buy whatever you want, and f--- all the models you want in a few years from all the parties you're gonna be attending. >Then it turns out that your new mother just wants to make you into her own personal f------ Frankenstein experiment, turning you into an aberration and brainwashing you into cutting your own d--- as soon as possible. >And the day of the operation will come and you will be in an operating table having a surgeon turning your d--- outside in and you will be thinking, hey maybe starving in Africa wasn't that bad after all.

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Anon forgot the radical feminists | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 4 H 12/16/23(Sat)08:06:49 No.191302236 HA Flag_of_South_Korea.svg.png 24 KB PNG >will work in one of 5 megacorps when you grow up >parents reward destroying your sleep schedule in cram schools with f------ plastic surgery >all aspects of life are controlled by chaebol (rich untouchable families) >mandatory military conscription after 10-17 hour school days are over >only border is with north korea, constant threat of the largest, densest population center being nuked >constantly being cucked by america, china, or japan at any given moment growing up in your country would be the worst level of depression imaginable

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Anon's sister | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: 360_F_410384074_vjRPB5dKm(...).jpg (43 KB, 1079x360) >dickisdiamonds.jpeg >one day she comes to my room crying >she's being bullied for her autism >tell her to not listen to them >idea.webm >"hey sis do you want a back massage" Oh boy, my first full greentext Anonymous 12/15/23(Fri)20:55:52 No.910898478 >>910898934 >be me >14 >have 10 year old sister >has a cute bubble butt that i sometimes stare at >sure.png >tell her to take her clothes off and have nothing on but a towel >get her situated like pic related >start to massage her back and shoulders >so far she likes it >start to further >reach her ass >cumbuckets.jpeg >i rub the s--- out of her ass and even slap it a little >"anon don't touch that" >don't listen >ohshitohfuck.wav >open the door >eventually take the towel off and rub my face all over it >strip in the process >"don't look at me anon" >eventually end up rubbing my d--- all over >suddenly i hear my dad's footsteps >get on the floor >everybody walk the dinosaur Anonymous 12/15/23(Fri)21:09:25 No.910898934 >>910898478 (OP) 2/10 coomer edition saw it coming miles away Anonymous 12/15/23(Fri)21:14:16 No.910899094 File: image_2023-12-15_211413407.png (453 KB, 939x960) Holy F------ S--- Anon, Pornhub exists for a reason.

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Anon experiences family Christmas dinner | /r/Greentext

12/15/23(Fri)19:22:40 No.75778388 >"Hey, look who finally crawled outta his little hidey-hole! C'mon down and have some holiday season grub, Champ! Don't be a stranger. Tell us what you've been up to. Have those video game coins finally paid off for you, bud? No worry. They'll seem like pennies when we get you a job and you get that first paycheck. But we'll work on that come New Year. Dig in." Anonymous 432 KB PNG >swats your hand away from the alcoholic beverages >"But not those, Champ. I need you focused on a finding a job first." >audible laughter

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Anon talks about xenophobia. | /r/Greentext

International Why do they have such harsh immigration policies?

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anon sends a rig pic | /r/Greentext

21 KB JPG >In college >have girlfriend >Talking to another girl >casual conversation >We have same hobbies >Particularly interested in building PC's >tell her I'll send a pic of my rig later >Later >Send pic of my rig > Some country-hick sends pic of him flipping the bird >oh s---, is that her boyfriend? >Ask him what he thinks of the rig >"F-----' dogshit my boy" It is now impossible to prove I was not flirting with her. I don't know what's worse, my rig insult or my rep decline.

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Anon Comes Up Short | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8 271 KB PNG 12/13/23(Wed)12:00:43 No.91077963 >be me >Have micro d--- >Not like your typical small d--- that can get up to 3-4 inches no like an actual micro d--- >When erect and stretched/pushed to the bone it's maybe 1.7 inches >Not into SPH either so no benefit there >literally too small to actually properly masturbate >Get a girlfriend at one point >Tell her before we have sex about my "condition" >She laughs and says it's probably not that small >She stares at it like pic related when she sees it >still single I'm considering just getting a penectomy because at this point it'd be easier to explain : Anonymous >>910779637 (OP) # You need to start gooning rn and become a p--- addict so sph and cuckolding will appeal to you. Sorry life isnt fair bro >>910782419 # 12/13/23(Wed)12:05:53 No.910779834 : Anonymous Your d--- is literally shorter than mine is wide. 12/13/23(Wed)12:17:01 No.910780327 : Anonymous 12/13/23(Wed)12:43:00 No.910781490 Why not get a phalloplasty, I hear they can make them look pretty good these days 12/13/23(Wed)12:47:53 No.910781704 : Anonymous >>910779637 (OP) # Small d---- require small holes. Look for small holes anon. ;)

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Should have let him finished | /r/Greentext

Does Hakuna Matata have an e---------- joke? Does Hakuna Matata have an eja(...) >And oh, the shame >(He was ashamed!) 12/15/23(Fri)22:24:46 No.193220344 timon pumbaa.jpg 79 KB JPG >Thought of changin' my name >(Oh, what's in a name?) >And I got downhearted >(How did you feel?) >Every time that l- >Pumbaa! Not in front of the kids! Was he going to say "every time that I came"? Kind of weird for a kids movie. https://youtu.be/kaOlxl|4LCA?si=7JV XYFj3sv5SWNjd&t=67 [Open]

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anon misses his chance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Oh my god boys it really is ov(...) 37 KB JPG 12/15/23(Fri) 18:45:12 No.75775188 >7/10 with nice body messages me on yubo wanting to f--- >using slang terms >dont really get what she means >she says nevermind and ghosts me Why was I born?

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Anon played Omori | /r/Greentext

Anonymous File: deadnny.jpg 12/12/23(Tue)11:27:34 No.457640414 ► >>457641084 (156 KB, 1416x1068) >noooo i dont wanna play violin! *dies* What was his f------ problem?

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Anon activates his gamer rage | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/16/23(Sat)00:24:35 No.660808937 grand theft autory FIVE 9.17.2013 IMG_9441.jpg 60 KB JPG Since GTA hype is back. I'll tell a ragetard story from GTA 5's release hype. >Be me, 15 years old in 2013. >GTA 5 hype is massive, played every GTA game in my childhood up to that point. >Already planned to buy the game online because I knew it would be sold out at stores & I wasn't old enough to technically buy it. >Still have 2 prepaid $150 cards my grandpa gave for my birthday. >Bought GTA 5 at release online, got it within 2 days. >Did the intro missions, after that immediately went to the strip club as is tradition. >Got a lap dance & wanted to keep touching the girl, stupid rule where you can't touch them. >Touched them too much & got thrown out & couldn't re- enter. Got p----- off & started fighting the bouncers. >Somehow f------ lost the fight because I suck, WASTED. >[Tard rage activated] immediately ejected the disk & threw it at the wall frisbee style as I usually did with other games I raged at. >Didn't expect it to break because the other games never did, GTA 5 disk breaks, a little piece of disk chips off at the center, didn't work afterwards. >Had to wait 2 months before I could by another copy. Everyone & friends playing GTA 5 while I'm playing GTA 4 & the episode DLCs while in a state of regret & self loathing.

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Anon loves the D in a no homo way | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I love sucking d--- 704 KB WEBM 12/16/21(Thu)06:04:29 No.21545752 >message a bunch of guys "hey i want to suck your d---" >suck a guy's d--- for the first time. very weird but extremely hot in retrospect >want to suck d--- more often, but don't want to be gay >put an ad up "looking for someone who wants b------- every day no h---" >guy responds. pretty average looking. not impressive but eh >invite him over, immediately give him head as discussed. 10 minutes into meeting this guy and i've sucked his d---, swallowed his c-- >comes over again the same day, give him another b------ >texts me the next day, agree to suck his d--- again >guy blows my phone up constantly. "bro where u at lol" >usually agree to meet even if i don't feel like it. always glad that i did. >tame my gag reflex on a dildo just to give this guy better head >he's all like "f--- yeah dude that's so good s--- dude im gonna c--" >basically become glurk glurk 4900 >probably swallow a gallon of this guy's j--- over the next few months >suddenly he moves to another city f---

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