Whoopsie Daisy | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 22 KB JPG 10/25/23(Wed)17:29:50 No.908278335 >>Be me >>Pee in tub >>Forget about it >>Go to take a shower >>Slip in piss, almost fall >>mfw

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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The Inevitable Star Wars Reboot | /r/Greentext

File: l-intro-1686067436.jpg (203 KB, 1600x900) Anonymous 10/26/23(Thu)23:28:41 No.191399257 >>191399280 >>191399326 >>191399473 >So yeah, THAT happened.. >So THAT was a thing.. >I guess I'm sorry for, y'know, being a d---? >Mmmyeah. You were. But it's whatevs. ☐ Anonymous 10/26/23(Thu)23:32:56 No.191399326 ► >>191399372 >>191399376 File: FCBE07CC-9F1C-4202-9C59-9(...).jpg (8 KB, 195x258) ANT >>191399257 (OP) >It's not coming off. CO NATIO DIE >What?! >Yeah it's stuck. How do I get this thing off? >Push both buttons in and lift. >I am pushing both buttons in, still not coming off. I'm gonna try wiggling it. >No don't wiggle it; you'll make it worse.

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Anon thinks with his pp | /r/Greentext

11 10 KB JPG >be horny >go on doublelist >find post for girl looking to suck d--- >think with pp >send her a fully nude body shot with face >she asks for more and wants to know my name >send her more and tell her my name >she then blackmails me >threatens to send pictures of me to all my family members on facebook >jokes on her >I don't have Facebook >she doesn't know >I act scared and tell her to tell me where to send the money >she gives me her cashapp >I report it to the authorities and tell her I need a few days to gather the money >they continue to threaten me by sending my photos of my linked in account >not too long after, they get caught >get call from detective >turns out it's some 23 year old dude from California

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Anon receives a message from a female co-worker | /r/Greentext

File: empty.jpg (97 KB, 600x532) never received a message from a girl before Anonymous 10/26/23(Thu)10:26:01 No.75195765 >>75195787 >>75195789 >receive message from female coworker asking whether I can cover one of her shifts >instantly imagine life together with her when does it end?

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Its so over shithole bros... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 20231020_234614.jpg 10 KB JPG 10/25/23(Wed)10:27:50 No.655285769 Steam is removing regional pricing and game prices will be based on USD from now on.

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Anon is questioned | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/26/23(Thu)12:01:36 No.75196637 365 KB PNG >be me >have carpenter housemate who works from home >take out trash >car pull up next to me >woman asking me if I lived with the carpenter >"yes" >woman asking me if he drinks >start thinking she was insulting his work and calling him a drunk >lies >"never drunk in his life" >"you sure? He doesn't like beer, vodka?" >mfw I realised it was xmas soon and she just wanted to buy him a gift why do I immediately think the worst of people

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Anon breaks up with his girlfriend | /r/Greentext

File: tereyt.jpg (112 KB, 768x512) codependent Anonymous 10/26/23(Thu)13:03:14 No.75196649 >>75196654 >gf is codependent >starts talking about wanting "guy friends" to hang out with >immediately break up and find another That's how I run things. That's how you should, too. Ignore the psychology toxic b-------. Anonymous 10/26/23(Thu)13:04:09 No.75196654 >>75196649 (OP) # >immediately break up and find another codependent >Ignore the psychology toxic b------- Imao

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Anon has a purpose | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 45 KB JPG 10 Replies / 3 Images : Anonymous 8) 63 KB JPG 10/26/23(Thu)11:58:20 No.75194297 I broke down in tears while thinking my purpose again View Thread 10/26/23(Thu)12:20:26 No.75194473 >>75194297 (OP) # You pass butter WUBBALUBBADUBDUB

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Anon questions his sexuality | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_1966.jpg (41 KB, 640x557) Am I gay? Anonymous 10/26/23(Thu)09:32:19 No.75195458 >>75195483 >>75195493 >>75195506 >>75195523 >>75195467 >be me >straight >friend says that if he can show me his d--- over discord vc he would give me a free lunch ($9.50+ each) >Imao what >money eyes.gif >agree >he asks if I can show my d--- to him he would give me another free lunch >what Imao >decline >money on my mind.png >eventually agree >millionare.mp3 Robots, is this gay? I don't think so, and I did it for the money so it's ok. Is this normal?

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anon shares a not so fun story | /r/Greentext

>be me last year >Taking my girlfriend home >She's my f------ everything >Drop her off, tell her I love her >She asks me to come in for a bit before I close the door >I accept and go in >She bought a new love sack >We lay in it like pic related >She keeps trying to get me to stay longer but I have to get home to let my dog out and I know she needs sleep >She accepts and I leave >On the way out I get a call from her and she's saying she's feeling kinda sick >She tells me she loves me and goodnight >I get home, let my dog out and fall asleep >Next morning wake up to 3 missed calls from her >Her mom called me The Get Up Kids 618 KB PNG >Her mom is still crying and says my gf took her life >I can't even breathe and I hang up >My dog hops on my lap and I just lay there for hours >Still haven't recovered a year later.. I wish I couldve helped her bros.

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Anon asked the real question | /r/Greentext

R: 4/1: 1 Would your country be a good axe?

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Anon eats LOADS of carrots | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/25/23(Wed)19:06:54 No.908269590 ► >>908269667 >>908269713 >>908270270 >>908270445 >>908270918 >>908271357 >>908271437 >>908271654 >>908272108 >>908272265 >>908272911 >>908273382 >>908269397 >be dog >do a poo >my owner ignores it >people complain and tell them to pick it up >be horse >do a poo >my owner ignores it >go home to castle >eat more carrots >do a big race >lose >get shot dog poo is small.. horse poo is big.. what size or weight is enough for ME to be able to s--- in the streets? Anonymous 10/25/23(Wed)19:08:15 No.908269667 >>908270150 >>908270649 >>908270844 >>908271275 >>908271324 >>908272258 >>908272618 >>908273159 >>908274512 >>908275008 >>908275349 >>908275532 >>908275849 >>908276139 >>908269590 If this was /pol/ I could 100% guarantee your flag wouldn't be India

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Anon uses dating apps | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_4360.jpg (21 KB, 220x275) Anonymous 10/26/23(Thu)07:59:28 No.908296520 >>908296792 >be me >download tinder and bumble >get no matches >get a haircut, trim beard so it looks nice and put on nice clothes >take new pics >get no matches still >one week goes by and I finally get a match >open bumble and it's a massive woman with acne on her face >looks like fat is overtaking her face, eyes nose and mouth look small and surrounded by fat >fuckit >chat her up for a bit >15 minutes >she tells me she is a size queen and asks how big my penis is >I tell her the true size >she says that isn't enough for her >go to message her again and I am unmatched >zero matches since then

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