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1h (9/17 19:26) · 74767579 32 Re4 Img PNG 314KB (577 × 563) 1667573032448761.png >meet a nice robot from /r9k/ >tell him I'm not a virgin >he blocks me :( next time i'll just lie :

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Anonymous 38 KB JPG 06/08/21(Tue)19:51:50 No.146433504 >have a coworker who is Dutch >we both need to go to the same project the next day >offer to drive and say I will pick him up >he says thanks and gives me his adress >the next day I drive over to his home >he isn't fully ready to leave yet but offers me to wait inside >he asks if I want a coffee >say sure because I didn't have my morning coffee yet >his wife makes me a coffee while he finishes getting ready >drive him to the project and drop him back of at his home in the evening >he says "thank you so much for driving anon!" >get home myself >hear a notification comming in on my phone >it is a 'tikkie' for 0.50 EUR from my Dutch colleague for the morning coffee I had at his place

Anonymous 11/27/24(Wed)23:29:29 No.146551057 1713812614849717.png 1.49 MB PNG ITT: we pretend we're in Gotham Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)08:34:28 No.146555487 I was waiting at the bus stop and next thing I know Im at Batmans feet with a broken collar bone and three weeks missing. Turns out Mad Hatter put one of stupid hats on me when my back was turned. Work says theyve already filled my position and theres nothing they can do I hate this city I hate this city Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)08:36:40 No.146555501 I was blowing a dude in crime alley but his c--- tasted funny. Kinda... earthy? I looked up and it was Clayface. Called me a f-- and ran away laughing. 69 KB JPG

Oh my GOD just talk to actual women, we're all horny and unhappy too you're not special you f------ weirdos New York Post @nypost- Apr 15 Tech exec predicts 'Al girlfriends' will create $1B business: 'Comfort at the end of the day' trib.al/XORAIML : Anonymous (ID: P3y3PZCt >talk to women ew weirdo >dont talk to women ew weirdo 11/16/24(Sat)11:35:50 No.488637069

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Anon got into a trap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 35 KB JPG 09/10/23(Sun)00:17:10 No.35849355 >khhv at 28 >saw a tiktok of some cute femboy teehee posing >message him just for fun >turns out he's at my city >keep chatting & sending nudes to each other >one day he asks for my address >gladly send it to him while horny >he says he will stalk me and he is going to top This is where the real succubus is, bros. This is the devil's deal.

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Stage performance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: B/TOSZXQ € 308 KB PNG 09/17/23 (Sun)12:11:31 No.441559447 >be me, 7 years old >love Hitler because he had a cool mustache >think he was just misunderstood and had good intentions >one day, show up at school with a tiny swastika pin on my backpack >everyone stares at me, but I don't care, I'm proud >teacher, Mrs. Johnson, calls me to her desk >she asks me why I have that symbol >tell her Hitler was a great man who did nothing wrong >she looks shocked and tells me to take it off >I refuse, defend my love for Hitler, and call her a dumb c--- >get sent to the principal's office >principal, Mr. Thompson, tries to talk some sense into me >I tell him Hitler was just trying to make the world a better place >he looks at me like I'm crazy, but I stand my ground >call him a fat f----- and demand my swastika pin back >he suspends me for a week, but it's worth it >spend my suspension researching more about Hitler >discover his speeches and think they're the greatest things ever >decide to give a speech of my own at the school talent show >practice in front of the mirror, channeling my inner Hitler >the day of the talent show arrives, and I'm ready to rock the stage >get up on stage, wearing a homemade Nazi uniform >begin my speech, praising Hitler's leadership and vision >the crowd is shocked, some parents start booing and shouting >I don't care, I'm in my element >finish my speech with a Nazi salute, shouting "Heil Hitler!" >chaos erupts, people are screaming, and teachers rush the stage >they drag me off, and the talent show is canceled >when I return to school, everyone treats me like a pariah

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Anon orders something from Japan. | /r/Greentext

Mint Jams Casiopea 130 KB JPG >be me >discover awesome Japanese jazz fusion band "Casiopea" >love them so much order vinyl record from eBay japan >it arrives in immaculate condition along with two little origami cranes and a pack of tea >little hand written note in English (guy put huge effort into making it look nice) from the seller hoping for the buying experience to be positive and is sealed with real wax seal >make the tea and put the record on in my finished basement >listening to mint jams with origami crane friends >start to cry because nobody will ever love me as much as that random Japanese man >tea is f------ bomb ass delicious- I thought I just didn't like tea before that >sadness becomes warm feeling of gratitude and joy >doomer to bloomer just like that Is this why y'all love weeb s---? That was one of the nicer evenings in my life.

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Anon is desensitized to non-sugary drinks | /r/Greentext

File: 1570322379797.jpg (128 KB, 441x330) soda drinkers when they wind up in hell: Anonymous 09/09/23(Sat)01:38:27 No.189679621 ► >>189679643 >>189679656 >>189680167 >AHHHHH DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DRINK BESIDES WATER IT'S JUST THAT IT DOESN'T REALLY TASTE LIKE ANYTHING AAAAARUUAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

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Anon mogs manlets | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/16/23(Sat)17:16:17 No.189955863 BILBO BAGGINS! DO NOT TAKE ME FOR SOME CONJURER OF CHEAP TRICKS >he says while literally conjuring a cheap trick : Anonymou why didnt g Untitled.png 269 KB PNG >>189966433 # >>189968685 # >>189975528 # Anonymous >>189956628 # 09/17/23(Sun)01:25:22 No.189968685 >>189955863 # Wasn't really that much of a trick, he just stood up in front of a manlet. It genuinely inspires that much dread : Anonymou in them

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Anon does not understand the cultural significance of this comedic timeline | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/09/23 (Sat)21:56:24 No.189709503 ► >>189709797 >>189709810 >>189712711 File: file.jpg (27 KB, 492x412) I'M RICK JAMES ICANHASCHEEZEURGER.COM BITCH!!! >this made millennials piss their pants in laughter

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The perils of dating | /r/Greentext

>want to get a GF >not fat 1h (9/17 22:56) · 74769498 10 Re. 2 Img JPG 953KB (1179 × 1604) IMG_8470.jpg ●●● >see women complaining about the same s--- HOW THE F--- DO PEOPLE MEET ANYMORE : >have my own place >dating apps are useless >women dont want to be talked to at the grocery store or the gym >ask friends how to meet people >they suggest neckbeard s--- like playing disk golf

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Drawbacks of college education | /r/Greentext

52m (9/17 23:12) · 74769663 1 Re - 0 Img PNG 224KB (936 × 1000) 1462180072582.png why do people still pressure me to go to college >student loans >no guarantee for a job >don't enjoy it : >most people end up dropping out >most people end up still getting low-class wagie jobs Yet people on here, other forums, my parents, everyone is fearmongering me to go to college, major in ANYTHING, without giving me any valid reasons.

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Anon gets cucked | /r/Greentext

Anonymous cucked by my girlfriend 09/17/23(Sun)06:47:03 No.74766737 IMG_2916.jpg 23 KB JPG >be me >have qt3.14 gf of a few months >she comes out as trans >idc she will never be a man >grow distant but don't break up >fast forward 2 months >she gets bottom surgery >has a "penis" now >realization >she has a penis inside her that isn't mine >mfw cucked by my own gf

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Glorious Green Text | /r/Greentext

Today I am going to tell you what I am most afraid of.... here we go. >Be me >Be about a 6/10 >Just move into a new neighborhood and have no friends >Be outside mowing the lawn when random dog runs up to me >Look up and a 9/10 is running after it >Help her get dog back, introduce ourselves >Become very good friends >Eventually begin dating >Fast forward about two months >New girl moves in >eh about a 7/10, would boink >Try to be polite and introduce myself to new girl >New girl and I start to become friends too, even though she seems a little odd >Tell her i have a girlfriend, can see she is (literally) insanely jealous >Fast forward two more weeks >Start to see less and less of my girlfriend and at the same time new girl starts to become even more of a psycho bitch >Fast forward 4 days > Get a random Facebook message from my girlfriend saying that 7/10 threatened to kill my girlfriend if she ever talked to me again >w--.jpeg >Fast forward one more week >Do not hear or see either girl since that message on facebook, start growing very worried >Random knock on my door, Its the cops >Shows me picture of two girls asking if I know them >Say yes, getting more worried >Cops tell me that 7/10 committed suicide and remains of my girlfriend showed up in her stomach during the autopsy TL;DR why was the 6 afraid of the 7? Because 7 ate 9

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Anon embraces spanish culture | /r/Greentext

File: 1657197678492778.png (470 KB, 1201x713) 59 YO SOY Anonymous E 04/26/23 (Wed) 22:35:52 No.181078631 >>181078662 >>18107867 >>181078706 >>181078876 >>181079198 >>181079305 >>181079335 >>181079394 >YOU WILL LEARN SPANISH >YOU WILL BE CATHOLIC >YOU WILL TURN YOUR PYRAMIDS INTO CATHEDRALS >YOU WILL FULLY ASSIMILATE INTO SPANISH CULTURE >YOU WILL BE A SUBJECT OF THE QUEEN & KING OF SPAIN

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The Hymen Taker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 23 KB JPG 09/17/23(Sun)11:18:52 No.74768342 >be me >have circle of friends in college >they all have gfs, none of the girls were virgins before dating these guys, most of the guys were before dating these girls >I am considered harmless to the girls so they tell me a lot of their "secret" stuff in private >4/5 of the girls virginities being taken can be traced to the same Chad >my friends dont know that >I dont have the guts to tell my friends about the Hymen Taker

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Greentext Stories - Anon needs a virgin | /r/Greentext

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1h (9/17 19:26) · 74767579 32 Re4 Img PNG 314KB (577 × 563) 1667573032448761.png >meet a nice robot from /r9k/ >tell him I'm not a virgin >he blocks me :( next time i'll just lie :

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