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File: 1570322379797.jpg (128 KB, 441x330) soda drinkers when they wind up in hell: Anonymous 09/09/23(Sat)01:38:27 No.189679621 ► >>189679643 >>189679656 >>189680167 >AHHHHH DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DRINK BESIDES WATER IT'S JUST THAT IT DOESN'T REALLY TASTE LIKE ANYTHING AAAAARUUAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

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Anonymous 38 KB JPG 06/08/21(Tue)19:51:50 No.146433504 >have a coworker who is Dutch >we both need to go to the same project the next day >offer to drive and say I will pick him up >he says thanks and gives me his adress >the next day I drive over to his home >he isn't fully ready to leave yet but offers me to wait inside >he asks if I want a coffee >say sure because I didn't have my morning coffee yet >his wife makes me a coffee while he finishes getting ready >drive him to the project and drop him back of at his home in the evening >he says "thank you so much for driving anon!" >get home myself >hear a notification comming in on my phone >it is a 'tikkie' for 0.50 EUR from my Dutch colleague for the morning coffee I had at his place

Anonymous 11/27/24(Wed)23:29:29 No.146551057 1713812614849717.png 1.49 MB PNG ITT: we pretend we're in Gotham Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)08:34:28 No.146555487 I was waiting at the bus stop and next thing I know Im at Batmans feet with a broken collar bone and three weeks missing. Turns out Mad Hatter put one of stupid hats on me when my back was turned. Work says theyve already filled my position and theres nothing they can do I hate this city I hate this city Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)08:36:40 No.146555501 I was blowing a dude in crime alley but his c--- tasted funny. Kinda... earthy? I looked up and it was Clayface. Called me a f-- and ran away laughing. 69 KB JPG

Oh my GOD just talk to actual women, we're all horny and unhappy too you're not special you f------ weirdos New York Post @nypost- Apr 15 Tech exec predicts 'Al girlfriends' will create $1B business: 'Comfort at the end of the day' trib.al/XORAIML : Anonymous (ID: P3y3PZCt >talk to women ew weirdo >dont talk to women ew weirdo 11/16/24(Sat)11:35:50 No.488637069

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Anon mogs manlets | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/16/23(Sat)17:16:17 No.189955863 BILBO BAGGINS! DO NOT TAKE ME FOR SOME CONJURER OF CHEAP TRICKS >he says while literally conjuring a cheap trick : Anonymou why didnt g Untitled.png 269 KB PNG >>189966433 # >>189968685 # >>189975528 # Anonymous >>189956628 # 09/17/23(Sun)01:25:22 No.189968685 >>189955863 # Wasn't really that much of a trick, he just stood up in front of a manlet. It genuinely inspires that much dread : Anonymou in them

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Anon does not understand the cultural significance of this comedic timeline | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/09/23 (Sat)21:56:24 No.189709503 ► >>189709797 >>189709810 >>189712711 File: file.jpg (27 KB, 492x412) I'M RICK JAMES ICANHASCHEEZEURGER.COM BITCH!!! >this made millennials piss their pants in laughter

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The perils of dating | /r/Greentext

>want to get a GF >not fat 1h (9/17 22:56) · 74769498 10 Re. 2 Img JPG 953KB (1179 × 1604) IMG_8470.jpg ●●● >see women complaining about the same s--- HOW THE F--- DO PEOPLE MEET ANYMORE : >have my own place >dating apps are useless >women dont want to be talked to at the grocery store or the gym >ask friends how to meet people >they suggest neckbeard s--- like playing disk golf

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Drawbacks of college education | /r/Greentext

52m (9/17 23:12) · 74769663 1 Re - 0 Img PNG 224KB (936 × 1000) 1462180072582.png why do people still pressure me to go to college >student loans >no guarantee for a job >don't enjoy it : >most people end up dropping out >most people end up still getting low-class wagie jobs Yet people on here, other forums, my parents, everyone is fearmongering me to go to college, major in ANYTHING, without giving me any valid reasons.

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Anon gets cucked | /r/Greentext

Anonymous cucked by my girlfriend 09/17/23(Sun)06:47:03 No.74766737 IMG_2916.jpg 23 KB JPG >be me >have qt3.14 gf of a few months >she comes out as trans >idc she will never be a man >grow distant but don't break up >fast forward 2 months >she gets bottom surgery >has a "penis" now >realization >she has a penis inside her that isn't mine >mfw cucked by my own gf

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Glorious Green Text | /r/Greentext

Today I am going to tell you what I am most afraid of.... here we go. >Be me >Be about a 6/10 >Just move into a new neighborhood and have no friends >Be outside mowing the lawn when random dog runs up to me >Look up and a 9/10 is running after it >Help her get dog back, introduce ourselves >Become very good friends >Eventually begin dating >Fast forward about two months >New girl moves in >eh about a 7/10, would boink >Try to be polite and introduce myself to new girl >New girl and I start to become friends too, even though she seems a little odd >Tell her i have a girlfriend, can see she is (literally) insanely jealous >Fast forward two more weeks >Start to see less and less of my girlfriend and at the same time new girl starts to become even more of a psycho bitch >Fast forward 4 days > Get a random Facebook message from my girlfriend saying that 7/10 threatened to kill my girlfriend if she ever talked to me again >w--.jpeg >Fast forward one more week >Do not hear or see either girl since that message on facebook, start growing very worried >Random knock on my door, Its the cops >Shows me picture of two girls asking if I know them >Say yes, getting more worried >Cops tell me that 7/10 committed suicide and remains of my girlfriend showed up in her stomach during the autopsy TL;DR why was the 6 afraid of the 7? Because 7 ate 9

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Anon embraces spanish culture | /r/Greentext

File: 1657197678492778.png (470 KB, 1201x713) 59 YO SOY Anonymous E 04/26/23 (Wed) 22:35:52 No.181078631 >>181078662 >>18107867 >>181078706 >>181078876 >>181079198 >>181079305 >>181079335 >>181079394 >YOU WILL LEARN SPANISH >YOU WILL BE CATHOLIC >YOU WILL TURN YOUR PYRAMIDS INTO CATHEDRALS >YOU WILL FULLY ASSIMILATE INTO SPANISH CULTURE >YOU WILL BE A SUBJECT OF THE QUEEN & KING OF SPAIN

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The Hymen Taker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 23 KB JPG 09/17/23(Sun)11:18:52 No.74768342 >be me >have circle of friends in college >they all have gfs, none of the girls were virgins before dating these guys, most of the guys were before dating these girls >I am considered harmless to the girls so they tell me a lot of their "secret" stuff in private >4/5 of the girls virginities being taken can be traced to the same Chad >my friends dont know that >I dont have the guts to tell my friends about the Hymen Taker

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Anon doesn't understand women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous why don't women ever give emot(...) 09/17/23(Sun)08:04:26 No.29777678 >have gf of 5 years >kindest person i ever met, consider wifing >make sure to support her whenever she has problems >have emotional problem >she notices 59 KB PNG >"anon, are you ok?" >"no, not really" >"oh" >sits on couch and plays with phone >no kind words, no hug, nothing this is cold i thought you guys were just getting unlucky with women, i can't believe years of a relationship isn't worth even basic help when you feel bad What do I even do here? Is this normal for women?

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Anon cured balding | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/17/23(Sun)10:20:57 No.35917546 >dating a filipino girl in my 20s >she sits me down in the kitchen >her mom comes in from the bathroom with 3 jars >"white boys always lose hair. We put a stop to it" 181 KB PNG >girlfriend holds my hand >mom opens first jar >white like elmers glue >rubs contents all through my hair >feels like liquid silk >she talks to daughter in Tagalog >opens second jar >dark green with texture like lotion >dips her finger in >rubs it along my hairline >a few minutes pass as they talk in a language I can't understand >girlfriend gets up and rinses my hair off in the kitchen sink >her mom opens the last jar >pulls out a scoop with her finger >its like honey consistency but red >tells me to open up >rubs it all over my tongue >it tastes like copper and salt >holds my face and tells me not to swallow yet >it's disgusting >girlfriend brings me water >I drink it >hair has been perfect ever since >mfw I don't know what the f--- happened or what any of that s--- was but it worked.

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Anon loves his dad........... | /r/Greentext

positive dad stories thread >be me, 9 >own a toy firetruck >godifuckinglovemyfiretruck.jpg >bring to show and tell >kids make fun of firetruck >go home tell dad >dad tells me not to worry about it >next day >dad wakes me up for drive to school >pass school >"dad where are we going?" >"my friends want to meet you anon" >pull up to firehouse >dad told his firefighter friends what happened >get tour of firehouse and meet real firemen >get to honk real firetruck horn mfw my dad took off work just to make me feel better over some stupid toy truck

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Not today Satan | /r/Greentext

qNaUkYDK US 1h (9/17 5:08) · 18710872 3 Re-1 Img JPG 68KB (734 × 720) 1625951252932.jpg >wish for some kind of contact with women >younger 14 year old cousin is visiting my family and acts really strange around me and comes into my room trying to have small talk without any real reason ●●● : >she's an ugly redneck with the body shape of a c--------- and its clear that she's been doing weird s--- around other boys in the family satan really is this what the world thinks i'm worth? the devil thinks i'm such a f------ loser that i would stoop that low just to stop being a virgin

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Greentext Stories - Anon is desensitized to non-sugary drinks | /r/Greentext

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File: 1570322379797.jpg (128 KB, 441x330) soda drinkers when they wind up in hell: Anonymous 09/09/23(Sat)01:38:27 No.189679621 ► >>189679643 >>189679656 >>189680167 >AHHHHH DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DRINK BESIDES WATER IT'S JUST THAT IT DOESN'T REALLY TASTE LIKE ANYTHING AAAAARUUAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

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