Stage performance | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous (ID: B/TOSZXQ € 308 KB PNG 09/17/23 (Sun)12:11:31 No.441559447 >be me, 7 years old >love Hitler because he had a cool mustache >think he was just misunderstood and had good intentions >one day, show up at school with a tiny swastika pin on my backpack >everyone stares at me, but I don't care, I'm proud >teacher, Mrs. Johnson, calls me to her desk >she asks me why I have that symbol >tell her Hitler was a great man who did nothing wrong >she looks shocked and tells me to take it off >I refuse, defend my love for Hitler, and call her a dumb c--- >get sent to the principal's office >principal, Mr. Thompson, tries to talk some sense into me >I tell him Hitler was just trying to make the world a better place >he looks at me like I'm crazy, but I stand my ground >call him a fat f----- and demand my swastika pin back >he suspends me for a week, but it's worth it >spend my suspension researching more about Hitler >discover his speeches and think they're the greatest things ever >decide to give a speech of my own at the school talent show >practice in front of the mirror, channeling my inner Hitler >the day of the talent show arrives, and I'm ready to rock the stage >get up on stage, wearing a homemade Nazi uniform >begin my speech, praising Hitler's leadership and vision >the crowd is shocked, some parents start booing and shouting >I don't care, I'm in my element >finish my speech with a Nazi salute, shouting "Heil Hitler!" >chaos erupts, people are screaming, and teachers rush the stage >they drag me off, and the talent show is canceled >when I return to school, everyone treats me like a pariah

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon orders something from Japan. | /r/Greentext

Mint Jams Casiopea 130 KB JPG >be me >discover awesome Japanese jazz fusion band "Casiopea" >love them so much order vinyl record from eBay japan >it arrives in immaculate condition along with two little origami cranes and a pack of tea >little hand written note in English (guy put huge effort into making it look nice) from the seller hoping for the buying experience to be positive and is sealed with real wax seal >make the tea and put the record on in my finished basement >listening to mint jams with origami crane friends >start to cry because nobody will ever love me as much as that random Japanese man >tea is f------ bomb ass delicious- I thought I just didn't like tea before that >sadness becomes warm feeling of gratitude and joy >doomer to bloomer just like that Is this why y'all love weeb s---? That was one of the nicer evenings in my life.

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Anon is desensitized to non-sugary drinks | /r/Greentext

File: 1570322379797.jpg (128 KB, 441x330) soda drinkers when they wind up in hell: Anonymous 09/09/23(Sat)01:38:27 No.189679621 ► >>189679643 >>189679656 >>189680167 >AHHHHH DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DRINK BESIDES WATER IT'S JUST THAT IT DOESN'T REALLY TASTE LIKE ANYTHING AAAAARUUAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

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Anon mogs manlets | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/16/23(Sat)17:16:17 No.189955863 BILBO BAGGINS! DO NOT TAKE ME FOR SOME CONJURER OF CHEAP TRICKS >he says while literally conjuring a cheap trick : Anonymou why didnt g Untitled.png 269 KB PNG >>189966433 # >>189968685 # >>189975528 # Anonymous >>189956628 # 09/17/23(Sun)01:25:22 No.189968685 >>189955863 # Wasn't really that much of a trick, he just stood up in front of a manlet. It genuinely inspires that much dread : Anonymou in them

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Anon does not understand the cultural significance of this comedic timeline | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/09/23 (Sat)21:56:24 No.189709503 ► >>189709797 >>189709810 >>189712711 File: file.jpg (27 KB, 492x412) I'M RICK JAMES ICANHASCHEEZEURGER.COM BITCH!!! >this made millennials piss their pants in laughter

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The perils of dating | /r/Greentext

>want to get a GF >not fat 1h (9/17 22:56) · 74769498 10 Re. 2 Img JPG 953KB (1179 × 1604) IMG_8470.jpg ●●● >see women complaining about the same s--- HOW THE F--- DO PEOPLE MEET ANYMORE : >have my own place >dating apps are useless >women dont want to be talked to at the grocery store or the gym >ask friends how to meet people >they suggest neckbeard s--- like playing disk golf

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Drawbacks of college education | /r/Greentext

52m (9/17 23:12) · 74769663 1 Re - 0 Img PNG 224KB (936 × 1000) 1462180072582.png why do people still pressure me to go to college >student loans >no guarantee for a job >don't enjoy it : >most people end up dropping out >most people end up still getting low-class wagie jobs Yet people on here, other forums, my parents, everyone is fearmongering me to go to college, major in ANYTHING, without giving me any valid reasons.

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Anon gets cucked | /r/Greentext

Anonymous cucked by my girlfriend 09/17/23(Sun)06:47:03 No.74766737 IMG_2916.jpg 23 KB JPG >be me >have qt3.14 gf of a few months >she comes out as trans >idc she will never be a man >grow distant but don't break up >fast forward 2 months >she gets bottom surgery >has a "penis" now >realization >she has a penis inside her that isn't mine >mfw cucked by my own gf

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Glorious Green Text | /r/Greentext

Today I am going to tell you what I am most afraid of.... here we go. >Be me >Be about a 6/10 >Just move into a new neighborhood and have no friends >Be outside mowing the lawn when random dog runs up to me >Look up and a 9/10 is running after it >Help her get dog back, introduce ourselves >Become very good friends >Eventually begin dating >Fast forward about two months >New girl moves in >eh about a 7/10, would boink >Try to be polite and introduce myself to new girl >New girl and I start to become friends too, even though she seems a little odd >Tell her i have a girlfriend, can see she is (literally) insanely jealous >Fast forward two more weeks >Start to see less and less of my girlfriend and at the same time new girl starts to become even more of a psycho bitch >Fast forward 4 days > Get a random Facebook message from my girlfriend saying that 7/10 threatened to kill my girlfriend if she ever talked to me again >w--.jpeg >Fast forward one more week >Do not hear or see either girl since that message on facebook, start growing very worried >Random knock on my door, Its the cops >Shows me picture of two girls asking if I know them >Say yes, getting more worried >Cops tell me that 7/10 committed suicide and remains of my girlfriend showed up in her stomach during the autopsy TL;DR why was the 6 afraid of the 7? Because 7 ate 9

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Anon embraces spanish culture | /r/Greentext

File: 1657197678492778.png (470 KB, 1201x713) 59 YO SOY Anonymous E 04/26/23 (Wed) 22:35:52 No.181078631 >>181078662 >>18107867 >>181078706 >>181078876 >>181079198 >>181079305 >>181079335 >>181079394 >YOU WILL LEARN SPANISH >YOU WILL BE CATHOLIC >YOU WILL TURN YOUR PYRAMIDS INTO CATHEDRALS >YOU WILL FULLY ASSIMILATE INTO SPANISH CULTURE >YOU WILL BE A SUBJECT OF THE QUEEN & KING OF SPAIN

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The Hymen Taker | /r/Greentext

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Anon doesn't understand women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous why don't women ever give emot(...) 09/17/23(Sun)08:04:26 No.29777678 >have gf of 5 years >kindest person i ever met, consider wifing >make sure to support her whenever she has problems >have emotional problem >she notices 59 KB PNG >"anon, are you ok?" >"no, not really" >"oh" >sits on couch and plays with phone >no kind words, no hug, nothing this is cold i thought you guys were just getting unlucky with women, i can't believe years of a relationship isn't worth even basic help when you feel bad What do I even do here? Is this normal for women?

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Anon cured balding | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/17/23(Sun)10:20:57 No.35917546 >dating a filipino girl in my 20s >she sits me down in the kitchen >her mom comes in from the bathroom with 3 jars >"white boys always lose hair. We put a stop to it" 181 KB PNG >girlfriend holds my hand >mom opens first jar >white like elmers glue >rubs contents all through my hair >feels like liquid silk >she talks to daughter in Tagalog >opens second jar >dark green with texture like lotion >dips her finger in >rubs it along my hairline >a few minutes pass as they talk in a language I can't understand >girlfriend gets up and rinses my hair off in the kitchen sink >her mom opens the last jar >pulls out a scoop with her finger >its like honey consistency but red >tells me to open up >rubs it all over my tongue >it tastes like copper and salt >holds my face and tells me not to swallow yet >it's disgusting >girlfriend brings me water >I drink it >hair has been perfect ever since >mfw I don't know what the f--- happened or what any of that s--- was but it worked.

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