Anon is Hungry | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous (ID: 7cqROVIK) [+] Why did being legal matter? 84 KB JPG 08/19/22 (Fri)20:17:01 No.391794554 >Be me >Driving with my friend >He points to a 10/10 cutie on the sidewalk >"Hey anon, she looks at least 18 right?" >I consult my diagram and confirm she is at least 18 >"I'd love to kill and eat her." >MFW why did being 18 matter?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon 0, young bro 1 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Chemistry Physics 08/27/23(Sun)01:15:52 No.74520404 OR OC299845-1EC8-46B0-9ECF-AF115DB7DB31.jpg 79 KB JPG B. My mom works on weekends and my bro recently found a gf but hes too young (16). Summer break is about to end and he really wants to have sex with her but cant cause Im in house all day. I dont work, go outside or do s--- and he is literally going crazy about it He is now begging me to leave house for an hour or two while he invites his girl to his place. Im not gonna let my younger brother have sex before me anons. Am I in the wrong

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Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 922 KB PNG my flat > 07/03/21 (Sat)11:12:40 No.64419340 >wage slut. minimum wage + unpaid overtime! >finaly save enough money to buy myself a fridge >have to ask coworker, if he can help me pick it up, caus no car >"no problem! Anon" >f--- yeah, i now have a fridge in >next day, everyone at work gossips in what a s------- i live View Thread

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Anon took a course on race relations. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous PACKS BART Nilla wafers 44 KB JPG : Anonymous amazin ok Anonymous No.794819925 03/12/19(Tue)20:10:47 >implying white people never had their own N word 03/12/19(Tue)20:15:32 No.794820220 03/12/19(Tue)20:16:43 No.794820286

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Nausea is an heavy burden | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 25 KB JPG feel nauseous >drink beer feel nauseous >take shower feel nauseous >lay down feel nauseous 09/07/23(Thu)14:01:41 No.74656924 >eat food feel nauseous >sleep feel nauseous >drink water feel nauseous >drink coffee >stand up feel nauseous what the F--- is happening to me? I'm also tired all the time even after sleeping 8+ hours

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Anon would not like to sign your petition | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 23 KB JPG 09/07/23(Thu)22:47:50 No.905704930 > Be me, 27, living in a cozy neighborhood > Wake up one morning to gentle knocking on my door > Expecting Amazon delivery or maybe those Jehovah's Witnesses again > Open door > It's a squirrel with a clipboard and pen > wat.jpeg > "Excuse me sir, do you have a moment to take our survey?" > Can't believe my ears, must've had too many drinks last night > Laugh and close door thinking it's a hallucination > Next day, hear more knocking > Not one, but five squirrels this time, all with clipboards > PanicModeActivated.png > "Sir, it's a short survey about your acorn storage. Only 5 minutes." > Slam door, this can't be happening > Days go by, squirrels now canvassing the entire neighborhood > Neighbors start complaining about squirrel surveyors > HoA meeting turns into a chaos, debating on Squirrel Relocation Program > Some hipster neighbor argues for squirrel rights and their "freedom to survey" > Fast forward two weeks > Squirrels now have tents, tables, and they're everywhere > Can't even go for a jog without being stopped > "Sir, how do you feel about the branch quality in the local trees?" > NoMorePlease.mp4 > Decide to take matters into my own hands > Buy a fake owl, thinking it'll scare them away > Next day, squirrel with glasses and lab coat at door > "Sir, I'm conducting a study on owl populations in this area. Mind if I interview your owl?" > HeadDesk.gif > One month later, life's become unbearable > Can't even get the mail without going through three squirrel focus groups > Decide to move > Find a peaceful place in the city, away from trees > First morning in new place, wake up to soft knocking > Heart races, praying it's not what I think it is > Open door > Pigeon with a clipboard > "Morning, sir! Mind taking a survey on bread crumbs?" > I can't win Therapy doesn't work. What to do /b/ros?

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Why is Todd like this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 640 KB PNG 09/08/23(Fri)03:22:12 No.649990957 >You are actually a f------ STARBORN >You actually learn space shouts YOU CANNOT BE F------ SERIOUS

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Sometimes the chase isn't worth the achievement | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 529 KB JPG fingers >w-- 09/07/23(Thu)15:13:24 No.74657491 >be me >late 20s autist >finally get a gf >shes half Asian half white >excited to finally have sex >tfw her vagina is really skinny >can only fit one of her skinny > shes crying as Im trying to ram it in but it just feels like a wall >resort to b------ >this is what f------ are crying about F--- you f------, you made me think for years that sex was the end all be all to life but its f------ mediocre. I hate you all. Im going back vidya.

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May all those dreams come true | /r/Greentext

2m (9/8 1:33) 905699649 0 Re - 0 Img JPG 69KB (811 x 527) zzz.jpg dreams bread Tell me about your dreams last night anon. I'll go first. : Don't remember how dream started, went to bed after long day wageslaving. >GF that exists irl says something and gets off couch to get shower >dream s--- idk >when she comes back she lets the towel fall and says hey look >huge domrystan femcock erect just for me >immediately rush over and shove in my mouth >attempt to get sweet girl c-- in my dream tummy >she shoves me off and says that was really f----- up i didn't have consent >Dream ends >mfw I can't escape femoids even in slumber

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Anon visits japan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/20(Sun)15:31:06 No.820837526 F--- Japan /b/, i went there for a vacation for a week with 3 friends and it was awful, let me tell you why so you wont bother going there aswell. Consider this a warning /b/ro's. 116 KB JPG 1: We went to the cinema, watched a comedy movie in Japanese (we all speak it decently and can understand it quite well). Guess what? Appearently Japanese people don't laugh during movies so it was just me and my friends laughing and we got dirty looks and eventually a warning... FOR LAUGHING DURING A COMEDY MOVIE W--! How the f--- do these droids not laugh during a movie? 2- We went to a restaurant and we ordered some food, but the waitress kept saying that she doesnt understand is, so we said it again and she still didnt understand us which is b------- because we can speak it pretty well. So we used an online translator and again she pretended not to understand and we eventually left. 3- You want to shop in a mall as a foreinger? Well sure, just dont get mad when people with 5 f------ bags full of s--- will be infront of you at the register and will look at you while waiting in line and wont let you go first eventhough you have 2 items while they have 5 bags full. Nope, you gotta wait for them to unbag their 5 f------ bags, wait 10 minutes for them to be done, and THEN you can put your 2 items on the register and be done in 2 minutes.

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Who keeps graffitiing green question marks all over the city? | /r/Greentext

Is Gotham really as bad as people say? Anonymous 03/03/19(Sun)19:15:42 No.106232841 ► >>106232946 >>106233221 >>106233386 >>106233434>>106233502 >>106233556 >>106233675 >>106233679 >>106235147 >>106238061 >>106238068 >>106238143 >>106240885 >>106240921 >>106241241 >>106241482 >>106241532 >>106241609 >>106241654 >>106243891 >>106244404 >>106245247 >>106245776 >>106247703 >>106248785 >>106249073 >>106249129 >>106249283 >>106249287 >>106249368 >>106249424 >>106249441 >>106249544 >>106249590 >>106249855 >>106249912 >>106249960 >>106250067 >>106250145 >>106251020 >>106251083 >>106251191 >>106251372 >>106252843 >>106252877 Got accepted into Gotham State for Fall 2019. Mom flipped, said I would get killed or forced into henching. Anyone actually live there, how bad is it? No.106232894 Anonymous 03/03/19(Sun)19:19:11 >>106241507 >>106248689 >>106258823 >>106233500 That f------ f----- Joker keeps dressing up as the milkman and giving me c-- in a bottle like im going to drink it the f------ retard. Hate this f------ town.

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Anon Christmas shops early. | /r/Greentext

59 KB PNG >Be me on vacation >Find an all-year christmas store >They have a bunch of tree ornaments with names on them "Aaron", "Robert", "Jennifer" etc >Buy a bunch >This christmas I'm going to put them on my tree and pretend they are the names of my friends I'm happy lads :)

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He must have hit it hard | /r/Greentext

54s (9/8 0:53)905697728 1 Re - 0 Img JPG 3KB (275 x 183) images.jpg : 8 i have sex with an escort while wearing a condom, but some vaginal fluid went on the very base of my shaft that was uncovered by the condom. Do i now have aids?

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