Not too fond of speedhumps | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: speed-bump.jpg (88 KB, 650x430) Which retard invented speedhumps?? Anonymous 08/25/23(Fri) 15:49:24 No.26951396 ► I want to find him and hit his head repeatedly against his brilliant invention, until the s--- that's inside it flows out of his ears. I'd also r--- his daughter if she's hot.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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What did he mean by this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/23(Fri)16:33:01 No.904950862 MUG SHOT - AUGUST 24, 2023 ELECTION INTERFERENCE NEVER SURRENDER! DONALDJTRUMP.COM 1692955477438581.jpg 73 KB JPG >Never Surrender! >surrenders can someone explain this to me?

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Anon is a cat guy now | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Take the cat pill anons 1.36 MB PNG 08/25/23(Fri)11:52:19 No.904967591 >be me >depressed, loner, NEET, live at my parents house >one day we get a cat, whatever >cat hates me for whatever reason >is always super cuddly with parents but constantly barfs near me or on my things >never lets me pet him or play with him >also meows really aggressively around me for no reason >try playing with him, he isn't interested and keeps meowing >try feeding him, he keeps meowing >literally just always meowing as loud as he can around me, it's annoying as hell >trying to play clone hero while parents are gone and cat is meowing like always >starts walking all over my desk, I've had it with this f----- >just start meowing back at him, louder than him, it scares him off and he goes hiding somewhere >parents get home and look for him, can't find him anywhere, ask if I let him out >we tear the house apart trying to find him, look everywhere, we came to the conclusion that he must've got out somehow and that was that >ffw tomorrow night, cat comes out of nowhere from upstairs and rubs all over my legs as I'm standing in the kitchen. >whereTFwereyoulittleshit.jpeg >cat is suddenly very friendly with me and always wants to be near me >I start warming up to him as well, it's nice having a cat on your lap while gaming/watching TV >noticed I'm feeling less depressed lately, cat is still super friendly with me, even sleeps in my bed now >Mfw no longer depressed cause I meowed at a cat in frustration Guess I'm a cat person now bots

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Anon made a birdcel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sysporiday 547 KB PNG 08/22/23(Tue)08:03:47 No.4598687 >buy baby parakeet >store girl tells me it's female >time passes >Nose turns blue which means male >bring to store to exchange >they refuse >Have to buy a new birb >release old birb into the wild >Walk around town a month later and see old birb around town >Feel kind of happy for him : Anonymous >>4598687 (OP) # >Feel kind of happy for him Anon you made him a birdcel who will never find birdlove 08/22/23(Tue) 15:49:54 No.4598895

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Concerning amount of trolling | /r/Greentext

tinkerchan xd я так устала быть такой ахуенной няшкои 51 KB JPG 08/14/23(Mon)02:25:40 No.74372351 >be me >never put in school so most of my first social interaction was sexually harrassing peopl on roblox >have r--- o----- in the bathroom simulators >troll women on reddit by pretending to be a misogynistic chad for fun >finally go to community college and meet IRL people >dont know how to act around other women at all so ignore them >one of my first frends gets a gf >meet her at a thanksgiving event >she joke flirts with me by sitting in my lap >IMMEDIATELY grab her >start uncontrollably humping her >le funy r--- troll >everyone screams >she says she unirnoicaly traumatized even tho it was le funny >am banned from club meetings was she asking for it anons i dont know wjat to do im f----- for life

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Why is he like this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: DtwWmaG9 19 KB JPG 08/03/23(Thu)01:05:17 No.436652414 Richard dawkins and all the other libtards over the last 30 years be like >screw tradition, screw religion, screw nationalism, screw its cultural practices! But then a sudden transwoman is like >im a woman Richard dawkins and other progressive livtards destroying this culture for the last 30 years all of a sudden like; >OMG WHATS WRONG WITH EVERYONE THESE DAYS, JUST BE NORMAL, BE TRADITIONAL!

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Anon's wife and kids are missing? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/23(Fri)12:55:22 No.189131448 ABILIN THE NELS DIAY3IxV4AAAK9b.jpg 125 KB JPG >Yeah, I really appreciate all the work the police are doing to find my wife and kids >Or whoever killed them I guess, IF that's even what happened haha >Probably was some Puerto Rican guy I bet >The cops all work so hard, they should probably just like take a break and quit worrying about it >I mean if they do find him we should all just promise we won't be mad >Maybe take off his favorite Carolina Tarheels shirt and spank him on his bare butt or something >Man I am like >I am like so super upset right now, darn it dude >Darn that Puerto Rican guy >Darn him to heck >I hate having all of this money and peace and quiet it seriously sucks so much >Anyway if you guys see my bitch wife hit me up on Insta

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Anon has a favorite corner | /r/Greentext

>be me >kindergaten age >spend lot of time at grandma's, countryside >huge yard, lots of space to play around >need to poop >dont really feel like going all the way back to the house and poop in toilet >go to nearby garage >pick a corner 9 KB PNG >poop >do this everyday for one summer i miss my poop corner, things were a lot better when i used to poop in the garage. what shameful/autistic things did you do when you were little anons?

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Anon starts a YouTube channel | /r/Greentext

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Anon goes to a restaurant | /r/Greentext

File: 1674253352374809.jpg (60 KB, 700x933) >remove underwear >wipe thoroughly >no trash can Anonymous 08/25/23(Fri)09:45:35 No.74506112 >>74506876 paper >drive away How is your day been going? >eat a meal at restaurant >finish and pay >need to poop >go to restroom to poop >poop >no toilet papers >damn. >no hand towels neither >damn. >consider the situation >ahah. the underwear. >damn. >well then bottoms up >underwear into toilet >flush >water begins to rise >oh well worth a try >after all life is about struggle. >leave restroom >inform girl at counter that men's room had run out of toilet

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Anon ascends to normiedom with the power of drugs | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/15/21 (Mon) 07:54:08 No.62759582 >friend sells me some adderall >take pill >feel f------ euphoric, literally nothing can stop me >zero social anxiety, i could tell my whole life story to a random person if 213 KB JPG i wanted to >compulsive behaviors almost disappear entirely for the first time in over 2 years >don't feel worried anymore, start realizing that all my problems are just temporary and i can fix them easily >actually want to live my life, go out and have fun >don't feel empty anymore, always thinking positive and for the future >drug starts to wear off after a few hours >go back to my normal suicidal self H--------, is this what life as a normie is actually like? Those first few minutes I felt like I was in paradise. Now I just know how much I was robbed of a happy existence.

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anon is a fish (full thread) | /r/Greentext

26 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous TetraMin 68 KB JPG : Anonymous >be me >fish ><> : Anonymous >>848124746 (OP) # good thread Agreed here ya go bud keep on rocking View Thread 02/23/21(Tue)14:38:48 No.848124843 02/23/21(Tue)14:39:52 No.848124908 02/23/21(Tue)14:42:19 No.848125078

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Anon is worth twice less | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Denver, CO Data Scientist JALA 3.5 MB WEBM 08/24/23(Thu)17:47:47 No.95583682 What the f--- are data scientists paid for so much? I'm a data engineer and do almost the same s--- as them but get paid twice less 08/24/23(Thu)17:49:51 No.95583723 : Anonymous what the f--- is a data scientist? >>95583753 # >>95583817 # >>95583979 # >>95584061 # >>95586246 # >>95588240 # >>95588391 # : Anonymous 08/24/23(Thu)17:51:06 No.95583748 >>95583682 (OP) # >but get paid twice less I think I know why.

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