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Mom found the storage No. 19036609 08/22/23(Tue)14:43:00 FuckingKillMe.jpg 23 KB 360x360 >be me, 26 >live alone >furiously slapping my meatloaf >spill my yoghurt on average 4 times a day >usually use a sock, shirt, shoe etc, and when it's filled and/or smells too bad, i store it in my closet >have used the same sock a few weeks now >ThickCrust.exe >ffw to today >mom comes by at work to return my key, she was over at my place to put back a spare mattress she borrowed due to visitors etc "btw anon, i thought i could help you out a little with laundry, so i looked into your closet.. and.. i found something... disturbing.. >InternalScreaming.mp3 >starts sweating and shaking >she hands me 1000 dollars, straight face "please buy new clothes and use tissues or the sink in the future, honey, i threw everything in the bin" This is definently a new low for me :) Can i pretend like this never happend? 0 replies, 0 images

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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Anons in his mid 30s | /r/Greentext

File: humor-tv-parks-recreation-screensho(...).jpg (33 KB, 600x334) LandDiruse you Ling] O /r9k/ Anonymous 08/22/23(Tue)04:58:25 No.74470989 [Reply] >be me >Mid 30s >Head to the gun range with my father & brother last weekend to shoot sporting clays >I'm the oldest child but have very little in common with my brother & father >Cept shootan. I'm a pretty good shot and we've been out hunting as a family for the last decade. >Lil bro does the best, but he's a crack shot so no surprise. >Dad doesn't shoot as good as usual. Movements are stiff & he has difficulty tracking the faster/harder clays >Soundly beat my father for the first time >Feel pretty good about it. Up until we are heading back to a rest area and he has to stop & rest because he can't keep up with brother & I. >Reality sets in, realize I don't have as much time as I thought >Mfw it hits hard I've always wanted to win but not like this. Anonymous 08/22/23(Tue)06:00:21 No.74471553 Decent greentext

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Anons a combat medic | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 08/22/23(Tue)10:26:26 No.25736845 File: 1679839254983096.gif (339 KB, 220x208) >>25725826 I'll tell you what... Small greentext >Be me >.milfag >68W Combat medic >Deployed to Iraq >I have one job: Train Police >They're f------ muslims >Easily some of the dumbest m------------ on the planet >They scream that they hate gays >Throw them off roofs >They laugh when they talk about that s--- >Not that I disagree with rooftop f------, but the rest are f------ too >We catch them constantly balls deep in each other >Like anytime they got a moment alone, they're f------ >Superstitious as f--- too >ABSOLUTELY believe they can get turned into frogs or other undesirable animals >One day on training patrol in green zone >Run into crazy old lady screeching >Normally they would just beat her ass and be done with it >This bitch is screaming that she is gonna turn them into pigs or dogs or some s--- >She has unlocked their most primal fear >These greasy Muslim f------ for all the bravado, are pants shittingly terrified of this woman >Normally they would just beat her ass and send her on her way >Not this time >Engage: Halal Snackbar!!! (I know what they're saying before some Eurofaggot tries to correct me) >One of the trainees is screaming at her with his gun pointed like she has her hand on a nuke >Yelling about "Don't do it!" >She is threatening to turn one of the trainees into a dog and points at him >Woman turns and runs away >At this point, I'm mouth agape, dumbfounded. >Trainees breath sigh of relief, all are accounted for, no new dogs around >They literally counted to make sure >One guy says that if he ever gets turned into a pig or dog, to shoot him. >Tell them that they can't get turned into a dog or pig like I tell a 3 year old >They don't believe me and talk about people they knew who did. >Inshallah indeed...

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Anon talks to a coworker | /r/Greentext

image.jpg 58 KB JPG 352 >work with a fat girl >she's worried about getting diabetes >says her parents both have it >ask what kind and she says Type 2 >tell her I can help her lose weight if she wants >she tells me that doesn't matter and she'll get it anyway because weight doesn't cause diabetes >proceeds to snack on a 2lb bag of skittl- I mean genetics on her desk every damn day >mfw

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Anon does not care for climate change activists very much | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/10/23(Sat)23:00:01 No.186204755 images (7).jpg 27 KB JPG >AHHHHH THE WORLD IS GOING TO BE 0.1 DEGREE WARMER IN THE NEXT 50 YEARS AHHH WHY WON'T ANYONE DO ANYTHING TO STOP IT >*Climbs into one of his sixteen SUVS* >AHHH THE HECKIN' ENVIRONMENT IS BEING DESTROYED BY RICH CEOS AHHH >*boards private jet* >SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING, WHY WON'T ANYONE LISTEN??? WE HAVE TO SAVE THE EARTH!!! >*lands on the runway at his private island. Enters his sixth vacation home, all 17 rooms pre cooled to his exact specifications* >I'M GOING INSAAAAAANE >*heads to the beach to board his yacht*

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Anon lives in Minnesota | /r/Greentext

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Anon is a doctor...... | /r/Greentext

>be me >surgeon >35 hour operation >do it perfectly with no mistakes everyone thanks god

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Top fucking kek | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 136 KB JPG 02/13/22(Sun)19:52:58 No.163841156 >2022 >no more gay joke, fat joke, black people joke 02/13/22(Sun)19:54:27 No.163841195 : Anonymous >A gay, a fat, and a black walks into a bar >the bartender turns and says "Hi, OP!" >>163841371 # >>163841815 # >>163842163 # >>163842333 # >>163842466 # >>163844282 # >>163844378 # >>163844533 # >>163844832 # >>163845190 #

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Anon is an alien | /r/Greentext

File: aliens-dancing.gif (1.32 MB, 220x147) https://is2.4chan.org/x/1692688468344205.gif I am an Alien Ayylmao !!FTlcqHEGWXh 08/22/23(Tue)09:14:28 No.35679798 [Reply] >>35680065 >>35680070 >>35680094 I will answer your questions if I can. I'm not so knowledgeable about everything relating to us but I will try my best to answer your questions 10 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. Ayylmao !!FTlcqHEGWXh 08/22/23(Tue)09:36:44 No.35679932 >>35679887 >What is your number? No idea >What is the name of your ship? No Idea >What is your position/function on the ship? Tourist/Immigrant >What is your species? Currently Human, I don't recall my previous species but I was brought to earth by something like those Greys >What is your faction's agenda? To live among Humans or as a Human >so is it true you can't teleport you just create localized wormholes and go through them so fast in your space ships that it doesn't close up on you or was that a lie from nobody in particular and you can really teleport and can you give me the math for making wormholes and why it doesn't stablize easy? uhh, I don't know >>35679915 >>35679924

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femanons game dillema | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous is being bad at video games fembrained? ive spent hundreds of hours into playing games through my life and yet i never mastered, actually not even got good at, any game ive played i just boot up a game for like a round or two or maybe half an hour and play on easy mode with cheats on and thats enough of a fill for me for the day i still have never even actually beaten the dragon in minecraft for example and i stay away from competitive games because theyre just not fun lol 2 121 KB JPG : Anonymous yes, unless its celeste >>32462112 # 08/21/23 (Mon)21:18:59 No.32461200 : Anonymous >>32461428 # 08/21/23(Mon)21:38:28 No.32461424 : Anonymous >>32461200 (OP) # Yes, but you're the perfect vidya gf/wife. You're no threat to your man's ego at gaming ability but want to be involved in his main hobby. Literally me >>32461534 # >>32462112 # 08/21/23(Mon)21:38:57 No.32461428 >>32462112 # 08/21/23(Mon)21:49:11 No.32461534 : Anonymous >>32461200 (OP) # Uuugh competitive games. I always got dragged into them by my friends but I never cared to git gud because I'm not a very competitive person. But my friends played them. So I had to play them. And now a friend I play coop pve games with wants to up the difficulty constantly like, I just wanna spend some time with my friend not stress out. I think guys are just really annoying when they get into a game 08/21/23(Mon)21:59:06 No.32461640 : Flux !!HOR183FojEb 08/21/23 (Mon)22:03:27 No.32461695 >>32461200 (OP) # i'll teach ya to play videogames, anonette. 08/21/23(Mon) 22:37:03 No.32462112 : Anonymous >>32461424 # god no, i would never! no but actually i really hate those types of games >>32461428 # >>32461640 # yea i rlly dont get it either games are supposed to be FUN not a STRESS

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Anon moves into a country house | /r/Greentext

File: pepe.jpg (62 KB, 975x600) F i wasn't expecting that Anonymous 08/21/23(Mon)18:02:28 No.2634462 ► >be me, 20 years old >move into a farmhouse and live alone enjoying my life >decide to invite my friends over and we explore a nearby school at the middle of the night >we make this a "tradition" and keep buying tactical gear to do more "urban exploration", friends end up buying NVGS while i buy a ghillie suit >ffw to last night, friends come fully loaded in tactical gear and we think the schools onto us, so i lay down in a field >friends find a USB in their Admin building and swipe it, plug it into their computer and look at it my ghillie suit and comms >another group of people are seen entering the same school on a bike wearing hi vis and no masks are seen clearly breaking into classrooms. >mfw the school never suspected our group was doing anything >mfw we have competition and dont know who the f--- those people are well anons, i dont know wether or not to be confused or worried about anything but this s--- will be interesting to watch >> Anonymous 08/21/23(Mon)20:11:30 No.2634482 One time I borrowed a PVS-14 from a friend. I laid in a grass field looking at the stars for 10 minutes and caught a wonderful shooting star. I've never seen one like that one since. You should behead the opponents. >>> Anonymous 08/21/23(Mon)20:23:19 No.2634489 ► No idea what's going on here but I'm glad you're all having fun

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Anon is a master of wordplay. | /r/Greentext

>> WATCH OUT S.S. TRUMP... HERE COMES A JOEPEDO! Anonymous (ID: PtowQKud) 03/09/20(Mon)22:03:13 No.247294862>>247294935 >>247295044>>247295084>>247295127 >>247295906 >>247296042 >>247296832 >>247297042 >>247297305 >>247297334>>247297437 >>247297491 >>247297634>>247297739 >>247297886 >>247297950 >>247298451 >>247298826 >>247299016 >>247299368 >>247299587 >>247299715 >the meme that finally brought down Trump Anonymous (ID: nCMcTDSr 03/09/20(Mon)22:05:01 No.247295044>>247295159 >>247295629 >>247295685>>247296586 >>247296818 >>247296832 >>247297136 >>247297394>>247297812>>247299016 >>247299040 >>247299115>>247299194>>247299270 >>247299368 File: 237AB6A5-746D-42CE-B957-1(...).jpg (3 KB, 125x119) >>247294862 (OP) > Joe >P--- Ahahahahahahahahaha Anonymous (ID: PtowQKud) 03/09/20(Mon)22:05:56 No.247295159 >>247296818 >>247296832 >>247297834>>247298392 >>247295044 no not like that Anonymous (ID: PtowQKud) 03/09/20(Mon)22:15:17 No.247296235>>247296329 >>247296657 >>247296786 >>247296832 >>247296996 >>247297164>>247297205>>247297294 >>247297576 >>247297990 >>247298981 >>247299159 >>247299368 how do I delete the thread how do I delete the thread

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Anon was a little depressive. The replies speak for themselves. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2.44 MB JPG 08/12/23(Sat)01:00:29 No.117759237 >>117759082 # During my worst depressive stretch I always made it to the bathroom. The toilet clogged and I couldn't unclog it and just kept s------- on top of s---. >>117759254 # >>117760933 # >>117761536 # >>117763864 # >>117763929 # >>117763955 # >>117763980 # >>117764015 # >>117764024 # >>117764048 # >>117764959 # >>117768652 # >>117768726 # >>117768974 # >>117769580 # >>117771826 # >>117772692 #

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Greentext Stories - anon can't take it any more | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Mom found the storage No. 19036609 08/22/23(Tue)14:43:00 FuckingKillMe.jpg 23 KB 360x360 >be me, 26 >live alone >furiously slapping my meatloaf >spill my yoghurt on average 4 times a day >usually use a sock, shirt, shoe etc, and when it's filled and/or smells too bad, i store it in my closet >have used the same sock a few weeks now >ThickCrust.exe >ffw to today >mom comes by at work to return my key, she was over at my place to put back a spare mattress she borrowed due to visitors etc "btw anon, i thought i could help you out a little with laundry, so i looked into your closet.. and.. i found something... disturbing.. >InternalScreaming.mp3 >starts sweating and shaking >she hands me 1000 dollars, straight face "please buy new clothes and use tissues or the sink in the future, honey, i threw everything in the bin" This is definently a new low for me :) Can i pretend like this never happend? 0 replies, 0 images

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