Anon has no sex | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: RAPTOR.png (722 KB, 532x753) HOW TO SURVIVE A RAPTOR ATTACK BUN BLOWLY LAY ON THE ONUND AND PLAY OMA Anonymous 07/16/23(Sun)12:13:29 No.74048645 >be with current girlfriend for 2 years with no sex >she starts getting distant, ask her what's wrong >"I love you anon, but I don't think you can satisfy my physical needs" >ask her what she means >she wants to continue dating but see someone on the side to "satisfy her sexual needs" >I can't believe this, after EVERYTHING I've done for her. Should I just rope myself now?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon eats some fiber | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous tho 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279 >be fat >go to /fit/ and find a solution >main problem is i eat like a dumpster >apparently things with loads of fiber is going to 211 KB JPG save my filthy soul >"Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and helps with digestion" >go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars >the first day i have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks >i dont s--- that day >next day i fiber myself up even more >i dont s--- that day either >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in my colon >can feel the pounds dropping off because im not very hungry anymore >i dont s--- the third day >i dont s--- the fourth day >thefinaldaydawns.mp3 >i have my morning coffee and feel my insides rumble in that familiar way >the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me >it's whistling >just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapas coffin >no sound other than the whistling hiss >suddenly stops >the hole is plugged >SOS >this s--- is so solid it feels like i'm giving. a--- birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson >hang on to the shower curtain and pray >the rock is shot out of my a------ at mach speed >my entire ass is covered in toilet water >now the fun begins >a fart that could do more damage to the ozone layer than aerosol ever did is shooting s--- bullets out of me >solid and prefectly round nuggets >the smell is killing me >blacking out >the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks >iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg >my guts are yelling in german >sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly >most of the s--- isn't even digested at this point >just forced out by all the gas that had been building up to my throat >after an hour it finally seems to be over >im shivering and crying >both legs collapse as i try to stand up >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet >gondorcallsforaid.rar >shakily wipe my ass >completely clean

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Anon gets cukced by his gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: SyiJeOf+ Worst financial decision of my(...) 26 KB JPG 07/10/23 (Mon) 01:58:09 No.55507936 >distant relative dies, has no kids or brothers >my parents decide to keep his apartment >tried selling it, couldn't get a good offer, needs a lot of repairs >ask my dad if i can move in in exchange for maintaining it and doing repairs >my dad agrees >couple of years later >get a gf, she asks to move in with me, I agree >six months later i decide the apartment is not big enough for 2 people and that I want to end the relationship >tell her she can stay for some time while figuring out where to go and what to do >she says "you can do whatever you want, but im not leaving" >oh s--- >i dont feel safe leaving my stuff with her when i leave for work so i pack my bags and move back in with my parents >my dad calls me a f------ idiot and we go see a lawyer to ask how to start the eviction process >lawyer explains that only the legal owner can start the eviction process, and by legal owner he means the person whos name is on the deed (our dead relative) >updating the deed will take months and cost small fortune, it requires a judicial process known as a sucession, theres no way we can start it before 2024, and by the time shes evicted she will probably have wrecked the apartment >my entire family thinks im a f------ idiot for getting into this situation Im never, ever, getting a gf again.

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Anon is in a pickle | /r/Greentext

Anonymous oneitis discovered im still al(...) O 07/16/23(Sun)11:16:01 No.74048082 1.83 MB JPG >be me 10 years ago >grade 9 >exchanged social media account with a girl sitting next to me in class >msg'ed back and forth a bit >went on a date and two >confessed >"sr anon im just not sure" >"ok cool" >went to different highschools and never see each other again >be me two years ago >depressed and stuffs >scrolled through my old msg >saw my conversation with her >it felt weirdly calming to read through our old msgs >apparently she has switched to another acc long ago >decided to msg the abandon acc every once in a while >just dumb, daily, trivial stuffs >sometime a "miss u" >always felt relax afterward, really help with mental mind >my messages never got "delivered", let alone read >keep doing that for 2 years >suddenly today >"omg anon you are still messaging this account?" what do now?

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Anon wonders why | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous نے 07/03/23(Mon)21:09:31 No.7388868 a6e.png 20 KB PNG ? Why do so many f--- here say that women have no value unless they're like, a 16 year old virgin? Is it cope?"

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It was so wholesome until it wasn’t | /r/Greentext

Anonymous joined incel support group 05/21/23(Sun)21:54:25 No.73405892 >Be me, socially awkward incel >Attend support group for incels kinda like AA >Feeling lonely and frustrated, seeking validation and understanding 132 KB PNG >Enter room filled with incels sharing their struggles >Notice a woman sitting in the corner looking equally uncomfortable >Realize she's a femcel >Surprised to see her there, assumed it was only guys >Musters up the courage to approach her, nervously introducing myself >She responds with a kind smile, appreciating my attempt at conversation >Start talking about our experiences, realizing we share common frustrations >Discover that we both face societal pressure and stereotypes >Exchange stories of rejection, loneliness, and feelings of inadequacy >Share our thoughts on gender roles and expectations imposed by society >Find solace in each other's understanding and empathy >Begin to challenge our preconceived notions about the opposite sex >Realize that both men and women can experience similar struggles >Start supporting each other, sharing advice and encouragement >Develop a genuine connection based on empathy and mutual respect >Our friendship becomes a safe space for open dialogue and personal growth >She eventually comes back to my place and I creampied her and I never went back to that sorry group of virgins >Broke up with that bitch cause now I have the confidence to go after whoever I want and dont gaf about the outcome >Havent had issues g----------- since

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This is getting quite silly | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 4Kic/1H Elon Moment 12/16/22(Fri) 19:50:00 No.408609519 619731CE-8607-4326-A39A-AA5BA13DF507.jpg 61 KB JPG >exclaims "Vox Populi, Vox Dei" >posts poll on if he should let jet tracker back on twitter >doesn't get answer he wanted >shamelessly makes new poll >loses second poll by an even wider margin

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Anon rides a bike | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Why am I like this 375 KB JPG 07/16/23(Sun)09:33:58 No.902694583 >get new motorcycle to learn to ride on, picrel >ride for about a week 2 Replies >2 hot girls around my age pull up in a car next to me at a stop light, giggling very cute to each other >"heeyyyyy i love your bike, are you from here? ;)" >panic because gril talk to me >"THANKS" >stall bike, then proceed to ride away quickly and nearly drop the bike around the turn right in front of them I have now been riding for 2 months, and the only other people who have came up to me are weird old people and people getting angry that I am "riding a dirtbike on the road" Anonymous >>902694583 (OP) # Ride your own ride, anon >been riding for many years View Thread 07/16/23(Sun)09:35:51 No.902694650 Anonymous >>902694583 (OP) # kickass! id masturbate to that memory till i was raw if i were u 07/16/23(Sun)09:58:51 No.902695289

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Anon discovers GBP’s | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 30 KB JPG 04/13/19(Sat)17:51:37 No.797323901 >be me >move to Britain >get job >get paid in GBP >goodboypoints?? >they buy tendies >goodboypoints.

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Anon asks an innocent question | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 106 KB JPG 07/15/23(Sat)23:34:12 No.902686323 Do you believe in God? : Anonymous >>902686323 (OP) # I believe in how much of a f----- you are 07/15/23(Sat)23:34:57 No.902686342

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Anon Doesn't Understand Fantastic Mr. Fox | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 04/30/23(Sun)18:01:55 No.183925044 ► >>183925587 >>183925792 >>183925843 >>183925862 >>183942203 File: maxresdefault.jpg (254 KB, 1280x720) FHD >>183910133 (OP) Still this day have no idea what this scene supposed to mean https://youtu.be/ELqdLvz60zA [Embed] ☐ Anonymous 04/30/23(Sun)18:25:38 No.183925792 File: 1679824881753054.jpg (123 KB, 826x878) moworld would be a botto pace without me which i why have to koop ving >>183925044 It was letting go of his idealised self-image and accepting who he really was with all his flaws. He and the wolf are two complete different worlds and he realizes that he isn't the wild animal he thought he was. Anonymous 04/30/23(Sun)18:28:26 No.183925862 ► >>183925044 He spent the whole movie trying to prove to everyone that he was a wild animal and for 30 seconds, he comes in contact with an actual wild animal and realizes how much it's still beyond him and how much he respects it. ☐ Anonymous 05/01/23(Mon)03:16:28 No.183942203 ► >>183925044 >Fox is self conscious because he works a white collar job that he hates and lives in a hole. Entire movie is started by his midlife crisis >His excuse is always that he's a wild animal even though he is somewhat the opposite. >Works a job, lives in a house, speaks latin etc. Very civillized animal in that regard >keeps saying he's afraid of wolves >wolves are dangerous and wild, everything that fox isn't >In that scene he finally meets the wolf and realizes he can't talk with him >Wolf doesn't speak english, french or latin. >Wolf doesn't even understand who he is (canis lupus) >Wolf is Gigachad that dgaf >Salutes Fox though cuz they are brothers in a way, both tryin to make it >Fox realizes that he isn't a wolf and that he never will be a wolf >He isn't dangerous or wild, he speaks french and latin and is riding a motorcycle >(wolf is walking on all 4s unlike any other animal that talks in the movie) >He realizes how magnificent a wolf is, but then leaves I think it's about accepting yourself. Fox is trying to be something he is not and keeps f------ s--- up because of his ego, his desire to prove his wildness. In the end though, he swallows his pride and accepts who he is, saving the day. He realizes he isn't a wild animal in the way a wolf is. The wolf is entirely different from him. He accepts is and lets it go, becoming a Chad in his own way, by accepting who he is That's just my interpretation though

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Anon has problems | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/23(Sat) 19:55:16 No.902684845 7 KB JPG >be me >get heart broken >decide to work on myself >start going to therapy >progress is being made, generally more optimistic and in a better mood. confidence is returning >ex tells me she's proud if the man I've become (we work together) >feelsgoodman >spontaneous solo camping trip, best time of my life >get back >life begins to fall apart, thinking about ex all the time, optimism turns to pessimism, relapse on past addictions, music is the only thing keeping me from complete insanity >write a letter to ex asking to give us another chance >says she'll think about it >see her tmr, anxious out of my mind there is no meme, w-- did that trip do to me

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Anon is a follower of Christ | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >>902683806 >be me 07/15/23(Sat) 19:45:28 No.902684476 (OP) # >follower of Christ >these harlots approach me >offer me many sins should I defeat them in a race >I accept their challenge >The love of Christ flowing within my being overpowers the futile efforts these girls put into their physiques >l easily out-run them >I keep running >They call and call, for they want sin >I run and run, not happenin'! >To home I return, my soul still clean >Read several Bible excerpts, just to be safe >I love you, Jesus!

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