anon gets ghosted | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous >be me >28 year old virgin >talking to girl for a month >start sexting >she says it's okay >send pic >"lol" >everything goes well >she wants to see my c--- >warn her it's small What do anons? 09/23/21(Thu)15:08:32 No.86363519 >haven't heard from her since and that was 2 days ago and we talked multiple times per day before that. 1 Reply 148 KB JPG Anonymous Shoot self View Thread 09/23/21(Thu)15:09:25 No.863635234

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Anonymous 03/16/23(Thu)14:34:40 No.92128194 File: Alpha and his watch.png (1.59 MB, 1102x1190) >>92118515 (OP) >be me >buy casio f91w watch >only $10, such a steal >wear it everywhere >people ask "is that a rolex?" >nah bro, it's a casio f91w >they look disappointed > little do they know, it's the real flex >accidentally drop it, still works >try to scratch the screen, impossible >it's like a little tank on my wrist >even have a stopwatch, so fancy >forget to take it off in the shower, no problem >water-resistant af >never taking this bad boy off >Casio F91W gang for life

File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

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Anon has a question | /r/Greentext

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Anon lists the phrases that infuriates him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ITT: Blood boiling phrases ME 43 KB PNG >projection 07/03/23(Mon)21:06:13 No.73888586 >nobody can love you if you don't love yourself first >you reek of desperation >self-fulfilling prophecy >wallowing in self-pity >you're not entitled to anything >it's all in your head >vulnerable narcissist

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Anon wants to apologise. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/23(Sat)09:19:02 No.74031164 66 KB JPG >be me >horny 12-14 year old boy >little sister loves little mermaid, has Ariel bath towel >every time I take a shower, Ariel's t--- in her sexy clam shell bra and that cleavage line get me hard >furiously masturbate and c-- on Ariel's t--- and face every single time I take a shower for 2 years >Just now realize I was c------ on the towel my little sister dried her hair and face with every single time she took a shower right after me >realize how f----- up that is >she might still have the towel Should I apologize or leave well enough alone?

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Anon sucks cock | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 56 KB JPG 07/15/23(Sat)09:13:44 No.902640865 f--- you /b/, f--- all you degenerates. I finally gave in to all the trap s--- and gave it a go with one and f--- you guys >be me >so far so good >pulls out benis >umm idk >meet a trap online cuz trap threads encouraged me >we meet up at her job >she comes out and mess around in her car >play with it while she strokes me >she gives me head >my turn >weird but I try to suck my first benis >just as I'm down there her coworkers come out >they all bang on the car >before I can lift my head I feel her manly hands push my head down on benis >I'm being forced to d--------- >her and her coworkers are loving it >as I'm gagging and fighting for air, I think if the anons on /b/ were right and this is actually gay >finally let's go and I get air >she kisses and slaps me and her coworkers laugh >I'm sitting there not knowing what to do >I awkwardly leave and drive off >5 blocks down I pull over and cry a bit >w-- just happened!? f--- you /b/, f--- all of you and your sick trap fetishes. I'm still trying to cope with what happened. f--- all of you 9 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon is cursed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous * * 320 KB JPG 09/12/22 (Mon)09:27:04 No.3285677 >be me >in 5th grade or sum >really good at finding 4 leafed clovers 9 Replies / 1 Image >one day i start finding 5 leafed clovers (yes actual clovers, theyre rare but if you look in big patches you can find them) >decide to be nice and give a 5 leafed clover to a girl during recess >she breaks her arm not 10 minutes later ayo did i curse that mf? her arm was EXTREMELY broken, like bent at a 90 degree angle to where the bone was visible through the skin View Thread

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Anons spidey sense goes off | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: JPZFy4h4) Become a Member News By Damakant Jayshi No, transgenders do not e-------- into every batch of Bud Light sold. The rumor surfaced amid a right-wing push to stop buying the beer after it partnered with Dylan Mulvaney, a trans TikTok celebrity. Image Via SOPA Images/Getty Images 07/14/23(Fri)17:36:43 No.434490099 Snopes BUD LIGHT r/agender u/UselessAltThing 1688643325648726.jpg 50 KB JPG I start crying wher populated areas. TWISTOF Greetings. I'm a ninetee lived in Manhattan my e desire to leave. >>434501850 # >>434503105 # >>434503709 # >>434504863 # Anonymous (ID: (WX4wCYKW) Anonymous (ID: JPZFy4F 07/14/23 (Fri)20:17:23 No.434503709 ax= Published Apr 14, 2023 >>434490099 # >Literally no one asks if there is c-- in bud light Trans people: WE ARE DEFINITELY NOT C------ IN YOUR BEER YOU F------ BIGGOT >wut Since I was young when I've been taken to rural/ suburban areas I've started crying. There's something about them that makes me really hate them, they feel so boring and lonely, and whenever I'm there I get worried that I'm not going to be able to leave, or sad because I know they exist. Even now that I'm an adult I just start crying or panicking when I'm there. COO 1674537659305386.png 1.73 MB PNG VOD funny.co

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Anon's other body pillow gets jealous | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/14/23(Fri)17:44:55 No.902606347 >>902606374 >>902606673 >>902606945 >>902607162 >>902607365 >>902607841 >>902608284 >>902608471 >>902608529 >>902608838 File: 00041-3719829128.png (853 KB, 664x1000) >>902606317 >be me waiting for delivery man to arrive >he carries the big package inside the house >blimey mate, whaddya got 'ere, a new wife? >me laugh awkwardly and say haha good one >hand him a £1 coin tip and say thanks >open it up >my new body pillow with Al generated anime girl >she is unique to me, not trafficked from a japanese cartoon >wonder how old she is >check the label >Made in China, {picture of a goat} >oh wat >google chinese year of the goat >2015 >she is 8 years old >do a bit more research >chinese new year repeats on a 12 year rotation >the previous year of the goat was 2003 >she becomes 20 years old >a lovely young lady, just like my grandma always told me to find >end up getting into an argument with my girlfriend >she tells me it's weird her age is actually 8 not 20 >she doesn't let me keep her >unable to get a refund >fuuuuuuck what would you do? Anonymous 07/14/23(Fri)17:47:52 No.902606374 >>902606458 >>902606694 >>902607127 >>902607399 >>902607663 >>902607834 >>902608155 >>902608557 >>902609268 >>902609620 >>902610210 >>902610598 >>902610722 >>902611378 >>902611964 >>902612300 >>902613010 >>902613284 >>902614011 >>902614404 >>902614648 >>902614844 >>902615479 >>902615994 >>902616082 >>902606347 Buy a needle and thread then sew up your girlfriend's mouth so she can't argue with you.

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The greatest banepost of all time | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/24/15(Tue)22:48:23 No.39321161 >>39321254 >>39321295 >>39321361 >>39321398 >>39321453 >>39321529 >>39321587 >>39321748 >>39321856 >>39321874 >>39322824 >>39325005 1427232819395.jpg (84 KB, 625x700) google igdb Dr. Pavel brought friends. Anonymous 03/25/15 (Wed)00:00:00 No.39325005>>39326685 1427236345413.jpg (288 KB, 625x700) google iqdb >>39321161 Guys? Germanwings plane 4U 9525 crashes in French Alps - no survivors Less than a minute ago Europe Bruce Robin, a prosecutor from Marseille, told the Reuters news agency that he had seen the wreckage of the aircraft from a helicopter. no this is... no. SECOURS EN MONTAGNE GENDARMERIE Anonymous 03/24 e)22:22:28 No.39319908>>39319974 >>39320008>>39320601 >>39320989 >>39321295 >Bruce Robin, a prosecutor from Marseille, told the Reuters news agency that he had seen the wreckage of the aircraft from a helicopter. >Bruce >Robin CIA.jpg (29 KB, 350x250) google iqdb Anonymous 03/24/15 (Tue)21:55:10 No.39318599= http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-32030270 >Plane named 4U crashes near village of Bains. >No survivors Where were you when Baneposting tore the fabric of reality? Germanwings Flight 9525 Cancelled BCN+ Departed Barcelona, Tuesday, March 24 Scheduled 9:35 AM Terminal 10:01 AM 2 Showing airport times In the news Germanwings Flight 4U9525: Airbus A320 crashes in southern France CBC.ca 19 mins ago Bains gjas ragne-Montéglin Mison Ribiers Sisteron Flightradar24 on Twitter: "Germanwings flight # 4U9525 (registration D-AIPX) was lost from Flightradar24 at 6800 feet at... twitter.com-41 mins ago Bains Manosque Valensole inte-Tulle Gréoux-les-Bains non-sur-Verdon La Verdière Riez Gate Germanwings flight 4U9525 crashes in French Alps - live updates The Guardian - 2 mins ago Le Monde reports that 80 fire department staff are on their way to the crash site along with >Lucian luCIAn >1.93 m height big guy >4U9525 Digne régional du Verdon O Bains hear Digne-les-Bains' in French alps 4U FOR YOU >Le Bains Bane Beauvezer Arrived Düsseldorf, Tuesday, March 24 Scheduled 11:55 AM Terminal Gate 11:49 AM A72 Castellane Annot 5521 Saint-Etienne-de-Tinée Maritime Parc nation du Mercanti some time Puget-Théniers no survivors DUS Levens Seillans Digne-les-Bains is about 100 miles north-west of the southern French coast. Credit: Google Maps borgo Demonte Dalma Carros Feedback Bains Vence Nice Grasse Cagnes-sur-Mer Entracque Contes >crashed plane >no survivors >flight number starts with 4U >region called les Bains Breil-st Sospel An Airbus A320 reported to have crashed in the southern French Alps is believed to have gone down near Digne-les-Bains. no survivors Last updated Tue 24 Mar 2015 French President Francois Hollande also said no survivors were expected. The plane crashed near Digne-les-Bains, in the Alpes de Haute Provence region, Valls said. Men Beausoleil "The conditions of the accident are not yet clear but lead us to believe there will be no survivors," Hollande said. VA Lufthansa said Tuesday on Twitter that "we do not yet know what has happened to flight 4U 9525." Anonymous 03/24/15(Tue)06:47:43 No.54606222 >>54606310 >>54606484 Tfw+you+shoot+a+man+befor(...).jpg (13 KB, 249x386) Les Bains CIA >possible big guys on board >may or may not be a CIA master plan rev up those big guy folders we might be here for BANE? Anonymous 03/24/15(Tue)07:58:42 No.5460/561 >>54607585 >>54607641 >>54607699 >>54607728 >>54607736 >>54607741 >>54607789 >>54607835 >>546 File: 1383949116870.jpg (178 KB, 456x628) This is your fault /tv/. You manifested this demon into reality. Your constant bane postign and plane crashes with no survivors have all turned into a reality. All the signs are there, the 4U flight number, the region being in les BAINS. You have brought into the world pure evil. 4 shame.

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Anon will print a new wife | /r/Greentext

17h (7/7 23:26) · 2644720 · 5 Re · 0 Img JPG 12KB (270 × 270). dff5d2a619d6ae705a8d2625bacc0443.jpg 1 Reply 08 >get into the maker hobby >my wife tells me to stop buying things I'm just going to keep buying until there is nothing left you have no idea. And you thought that $200 3d printer was bad.

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Anon discovers free will | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 46 KB JPG >Later that day Go to the Store >Remember again that I have free will >Pick up a champagne bottle and smash it on the ground >Employee saw me and asked me to leave 3 Replies / 1 Image I do stuff like this sometimes and it's been ruining my life. I don't know how to stop Anonymous 07/14/23(Fri)13:52:54 No.74025793 5 KB JPG >be me >Be on elevator full of people >Remember that I have free will >Start screaming as loud as I can >Everybody on the elevator is horrified >>74026397 # View Thread 07/14/23(Fri) 14:24:29 No.74026133 >>74025793 (OP) # >remember that you have free will >start no acting like a f------ retard There's your solution buddy

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anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/23(Sat)03:33:11 No.902618221 Samsquanch.jpg 139 KB JPG my brother is convinced that there's a Bigfoot near our house. He believes this because every time the lazy p------------ does shrooms, I get in my gorilla suit and go to our yard and walk around and chimp out. he screams bloody murder every™ time and no one believes him because I bring up that he's a useless junkie so everyone one brushes it off. seeing him get mad and almost cry because he swears to God a Bigfoot is stalking him at family events or outings w friends is priceless >pic related

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Anon suffers from ennui | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 14 KB JPG in me. Anonymous 07/14/23(Fri)09:42:49 No.74024451 >realize from a young age that life is garbage unless you're rich, nothing matters, no one cares, we all die in the end, we're basically a mistake. Anonymous >>74024451 (OP) # What you do now is tend to your own pitiful existence. >>74024544 # >>74024586 # Man what do I do now? I feel like this has crushed any hope or enthusiasm >>74024644 # : Anonymous 07/14/23(Fri)09:48:31 No.74024516 >>74024516 # Enlighten me on your "not" pitiful existence please. 07/14/23(Fri)09:50:53 No.74024544 >>74024566 # >>74026461 # 07/14/23(Fri)09:51:23 No.74024553 >realize >from a young age you're still young, you don't know s--- about the world you've got 3x or 4x your current age in expected lifespan, don't corner yourself into a mindset you can't escape, stop with all this doomer b------- Anonymous >>74024553 # you can't escape it because it's the truth 07/14/23(Fri)09:52:38 No.74024566

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