Anons spidey sense goes off | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous (ID: JPZFy4h4) Become a Member News By Damakant Jayshi No, transgenders do not e-------- into every batch of Bud Light sold. The rumor surfaced amid a right-wing push to stop buying the beer after it partnered with Dylan Mulvaney, a trans TikTok celebrity. Image Via SOPA Images/Getty Images 07/14/23(Fri)17:36:43 No.434490099 Snopes BUD LIGHT r/agender u/UselessAltThing 1688643325648726.jpg 50 KB JPG I start crying wher populated areas. TWISTOF Greetings. I'm a ninetee lived in Manhattan my e desire to leave. >>434501850 # >>434503105 # >>434503709 # >>434504863 # Anonymous (ID: (WX4wCYKW) Anonymous (ID: JPZFy4F 07/14/23 (Fri)20:17:23 No.434503709 ax= Published Apr 14, 2023 >>434490099 # >Literally no one asks if there is c-- in bud light Trans people: WE ARE DEFINITELY NOT C------ IN YOUR BEER YOU F------ BIGGOT >wut Since I was young when I've been taken to rural/ suburban areas I've started crying. There's something about them that makes me really hate them, they feel so boring and lonely, and whenever I'm there I get worried that I'm not going to be able to leave, or sad because I know they exist. Even now that I'm an adult I just start crying or panicking when I'm there. COO 1674537659305386.png 1.73 MB PNG VOD funny.co

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon's other body pillow gets jealous | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/14/23(Fri)17:44:55 No.902606347 >>902606374 >>902606673 >>902606945 >>902607162 >>902607365 >>902607841 >>902608284 >>902608471 >>902608529 >>902608838 File: 00041-3719829128.png (853 KB, 664x1000) >>902606317 >be me waiting for delivery man to arrive >he carries the big package inside the house >blimey mate, whaddya got 'ere, a new wife? >me laugh awkwardly and say haha good one >hand him a £1 coin tip and say thanks >open it up >my new body pillow with Al generated anime girl >she is unique to me, not trafficked from a japanese cartoon >wonder how old she is >check the label >Made in China, {picture of a goat} >oh wat >google chinese year of the goat >2015 >she is 8 years old >do a bit more research >chinese new year repeats on a 12 year rotation >the previous year of the goat was 2003 >she becomes 20 years old >a lovely young lady, just like my grandma always told me to find >end up getting into an argument with my girlfriend >she tells me it's weird her age is actually 8 not 20 >she doesn't let me keep her >unable to get a refund >fuuuuuuck what would you do? Anonymous 07/14/23(Fri)17:47:52 No.902606374 >>902606458 >>902606694 >>902607127 >>902607399 >>902607663 >>902607834 >>902608155 >>902608557 >>902609268 >>902609620 >>902610210 >>902610598 >>902610722 >>902611378 >>902611964 >>902612300 >>902613010 >>902613284 >>902614011 >>902614404 >>902614648 >>902614844 >>902615479 >>902615994 >>902616082 >>902606347 Buy a needle and thread then sew up your girlfriend's mouth so she can't argue with you.

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The greatest banepost of all time | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/24/15(Tue)22:48:23 No.39321161 >>39321254 >>39321295 >>39321361 >>39321398 >>39321453 >>39321529 >>39321587 >>39321748 >>39321856 >>39321874 >>39322824 >>39325005 1427232819395.jpg (84 KB, 625x700) google igdb Dr. Pavel brought friends. Anonymous 03/25/15 (Wed)00:00:00 No.39325005>>39326685 1427236345413.jpg (288 KB, 625x700) google iqdb >>39321161 Guys? Germanwings plane 4U 9525 crashes in French Alps - no survivors Less than a minute ago Europe Bruce Robin, a prosecutor from Marseille, told the Reuters news agency that he had seen the wreckage of the aircraft from a helicopter. no this is... no. SECOURS EN MONTAGNE GENDARMERIE Anonymous 03/24 e)22:22:28 No.39319908>>39319974 >>39320008>>39320601 >>39320989 >>39321295 >Bruce Robin, a prosecutor from Marseille, told the Reuters news agency that he had seen the wreckage of the aircraft from a helicopter. >Bruce >Robin CIA.jpg (29 KB, 350x250) google iqdb Anonymous 03/24/15 (Tue)21:55:10 No.39318599= http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-32030270 >Plane named 4U crashes near village of Bains. >No survivors Where were you when Baneposting tore the fabric of reality? Germanwings Flight 9525 Cancelled BCN+ Departed Barcelona, Tuesday, March 24 Scheduled 9:35 AM Terminal 10:01 AM 2 Showing airport times In the news Germanwings Flight 4U9525: Airbus A320 crashes in southern France CBC.ca 19 mins ago Bains gjas ragne-Montéglin Mison Ribiers Sisteron Flightradar24 on Twitter: "Germanwings flight # 4U9525 (registration D-AIPX) was lost from Flightradar24 at 6800 feet at... twitter.com-41 mins ago Bains Manosque Valensole inte-Tulle Gréoux-les-Bains non-sur-Verdon La Verdière Riez Gate Germanwings flight 4U9525 crashes in French Alps - live updates The Guardian - 2 mins ago Le Monde reports that 80 fire department staff are on their way to the crash site along with >Lucian luCIAn >1.93 m height big guy >4U9525 Digne régional du Verdon O Bains hear Digne-les-Bains' in French alps 4U FOR YOU >Le Bains Bane Beauvezer Arrived Düsseldorf, Tuesday, March 24 Scheduled 11:55 AM Terminal Gate 11:49 AM A72 Castellane Annot 5521 Saint-Etienne-de-Tinée Maritime Parc nation du Mercanti some time Puget-Théniers no survivors DUS Levens Seillans Digne-les-Bains is about 100 miles north-west of the southern French coast. Credit: Google Maps borgo Demonte Dalma Carros Feedback Bains Vence Nice Grasse Cagnes-sur-Mer Entracque Contes >crashed plane >no survivors >flight number starts with 4U >region called les Bains Breil-st Sospel An Airbus A320 reported to have crashed in the southern French Alps is believed to have gone down near Digne-les-Bains. no survivors Last updated Tue 24 Mar 2015 French President Francois Hollande also said no survivors were expected. The plane crashed near Digne-les-Bains, in the Alpes de Haute Provence region, Valls said. Men Beausoleil "The conditions of the accident are not yet clear but lead us to believe there will be no survivors," Hollande said. VA Lufthansa said Tuesday on Twitter that "we do not yet know what has happened to flight 4U 9525." Anonymous 03/24/15(Tue)06:47:43 No.54606222 >>54606310 >>54606484 Tfw+you+shoot+a+man+befor(...).jpg (13 KB, 249x386) Les Bains CIA >possible big guys on board >may or may not be a CIA master plan rev up those big guy folders we might be here for BANE? Anonymous 03/24/15(Tue)07:58:42 No.5460/561 >>54607585 >>54607641 >>54607699 >>54607728 >>54607736 >>54607741 >>54607789 >>54607835 >>546 File: 1383949116870.jpg (178 KB, 456x628) This is your fault /tv/. You manifested this demon into reality. Your constant bane postign and plane crashes with no survivors have all turned into a reality. All the signs are there, the 4U flight number, the region being in les BAINS. You have brought into the world pure evil. 4 shame.

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Anon will print a new wife | /r/Greentext

17h (7/7 23:26) · 2644720 · 5 Re · 0 Img JPG 12KB (270 × 270). dff5d2a619d6ae705a8d2625bacc0443.jpg 1 Reply 08 >get into the maker hobby >my wife tells me to stop buying things I'm just going to keep buying until there is nothing left you have no idea. And you thought that $200 3d printer was bad.

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Anon discovers free will | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 46 KB JPG >Later that day Go to the Store >Remember again that I have free will >Pick up a champagne bottle and smash it on the ground >Employee saw me and asked me to leave 3 Replies / 1 Image I do stuff like this sometimes and it's been ruining my life. I don't know how to stop Anonymous 07/14/23(Fri)13:52:54 No.74025793 5 KB JPG >be me >Be on elevator full of people >Remember that I have free will >Start screaming as loud as I can >Everybody on the elevator is horrified >>74026397 # View Thread 07/14/23(Fri) 14:24:29 No.74026133 >>74025793 (OP) # >remember that you have free will >start no acting like a f------ retard There's your solution buddy

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anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/23(Sat)03:33:11 No.902618221 Samsquanch.jpg 139 KB JPG my brother is convinced that there's a Bigfoot near our house. He believes this because every time the lazy p------------ does shrooms, I get in my gorilla suit and go to our yard and walk around and chimp out. he screams bloody murder every™ time and no one believes him because I bring up that he's a useless junkie so everyone one brushes it off. seeing him get mad and almost cry because he swears to God a Bigfoot is stalking him at family events or outings w friends is priceless >pic related

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Anon suffers from ennui | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 14 KB JPG in me. Anonymous 07/14/23(Fri)09:42:49 No.74024451 >realize from a young age that life is garbage unless you're rich, nothing matters, no one cares, we all die in the end, we're basically a mistake. Anonymous >>74024451 (OP) # What you do now is tend to your own pitiful existence. >>74024544 # >>74024586 # Man what do I do now? I feel like this has crushed any hope or enthusiasm >>74024644 # : Anonymous 07/14/23(Fri)09:48:31 No.74024516 >>74024516 # Enlighten me on your "not" pitiful existence please. 07/14/23(Fri)09:50:53 No.74024544 >>74024566 # >>74026461 # 07/14/23(Fri)09:51:23 No.74024553 >realize >from a young age you're still young, you don't know s--- about the world you've got 3x or 4x your current age in expected lifespan, don't corner yourself into a mindset you can't escape, stop with all this doomer b------- Anonymous >>74024553 # you can't escape it because it's the truth 07/14/23(Fri)09:52:38 No.74024566

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Anon Likes Quartz | /r/Greentext

File: 1683889656642.jpg (22 KB, 456x456) 00234 6031-300 JAPAN SEIKO 35 A C Anonymous 05/12/23(Fri)21:07:47 No.93380729 ▶ >>93380909 >>93381034 >>93382300 >>93382358 >>93382494 >>93382500 >>93382782 >>93391914 >>93393912 >>93396277 >>93397042 >>93399029 >>93399536 >>93400084 >>93400725 >>93400725 >electronical How did the Swiss technology is actually inferior? ☐ Anonymous 05/13/23(Sat)19:18:28 No.93400725 ► >>93402688 >>93380729 (OP) Mechanical is always superior to electronical s---. If I could buy a car that is fully mechanical I would. manage to convince the world that an objectively superior timekeeping ☐ Anonymous 05/13/23(Sat)22:14:34 No.93402688

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Anon invites Weezer to marriage | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Weezer ruined my marriage 07/14/23 (Fri)14:41:08 No.74025060 >be me >Back to green album release (2001) >Wife (Luso-Japanese ancestry) wants a somewhat popular band to play on marriage >Try to invite asthma band to play (even though I only listened to blue) and they accepted, great >Marriage day. Everybody is happy, the day is beautiful and shine and the music fits perfectly the day, family from America, Brazil, Portugal and ,specially, Japan is here. 20 KB JPG >The whole band is happy except Cuomo guy who's weirdly looking at the japenese part of the family >My wife 18 y/o Japanese cousin arrives and f---, cuomo is even weirder know >Suddenly he makes a AWOOGA MOMENT and starts singing about a 18 y/o Japanese girl and openly says how he wonder how she touch herself >Everybody is looking to him weird, the girl is crying shocked by the song, wife is looking in despair to me. Even the band is wondering rivers song choice >Party ends earlier and wife divorce a week after >Look at their second album >Horny songs about japenese girls >Why didn't I expected this

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Anon doesn’t want Windows 11 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous DEVILISH maen 109 KB JPG me 07/14/23(Fri) 13:08:03 No.74026671 >finally say okay >he tries to download Windows 11 on my laptop >looks like he's afk during the download >hit Wi-Fi switch >IT guy keeps pestering me to update my laptop >WIN+L >loses the download and remote access >pretend I'm afk while he keeps trying to message >>74026779 # >refuse to do it >he offers to do it for me from remote Anonymous desktop >blow him off for 3 weeks hehehehe I'm never upgrading or updating, idiot Anonymous This is mean and it upset me >>74026795 # 07/14/23(Fri)13:12:27 No.74026713 07/14/23(Fri)13:17:12 No.74026770 Kek I work in IT on the side of the guy updating your laptop OP. Let me tell you man all we do is compile noncompliance reports and send them to your boss. I've gotten a few people fired kek. Wasn't my want, but if you're going to be a c--- then you can't work with us 39 KB PNG

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Anon has a stroke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)03:44:20 No.252913869 >>252911908 # losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252914047 # >>252914093 # >>252914100 # >>252914125 # >>252914134 # >>252914294 # >>252914315 # >>252914527 # >>252914536 # >>252914582 # >>252914605 # >>252914643 # >>252914670 # >>252914680 # >>252914780 # >>252914811 # >>252915009 # >>252915019 # >>252915216 # >>252915260 # >>252915280 # >>252915315 # >>252916087 # >>252916275 # >>252916436 # >>252916516 # >>252916539 # >>252916565 # >>252916569 # >>252916574 # >>252916659 # >>252916737 # >>252916787 # >>252916802 # >>252916842 # >>252916974 # >>252917020 # >>252917066 # >>252917095 # >>252917156 # >>252917166 # >>252917201 # >>252917265 # >>252917325 # >>252917490 # >>252917497 # >>252917507 # >>252918071 # >>252918109 # >>252918460 # >>252918543 # >>252918601 # >>252918806 # >>252919082 # >>252919137 # >>252919328 # >>252919382 # >>252919432 # >>252919448 # >>252919457 # >>252919510 # >>252919544 # >>252919551 # >>252919576 #

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Anon has a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2.37 MB PNG 07/14/23(Fri)15:55:06 No.74027207 >tell my best friends back around Christmas that I have feelings for her >she cries while turning me down, pushing her huge boobs against me as she hugs me for about half an hour apologizing over and over and telling me we'll always be friends >we've stayed best friends >the other day while I'm at her apartment, she randomly walks up to me while I'm on the couch and kisses me on top of the head, telling me "I couldn't help kissing you, you just looked so cute and sweet sitting there" >we've been talking on the phone more often, up to six hours sometimes, with her always being the one to call me >yesterday I asked her if her feelings for me are changing >she said that no, the kiss was just a platonic one and she enjoys talking to me so much because we're friends >turned down a second time when I'd raised my own hopes fairly high I kind of... I kind of want to die.

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Anon realizes that the race is doomed. | /r/Greentext

>Brother is a history teacher for kids in 5th grade >Told me he brought up 9/11 to his class >Said kids went instantly insane >They didn't know it was real >One kid said he thought it was just a meme

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