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Anonymous 05/07/23 (Wed)03:30:13 No.877885925 107 KB JPG >recently single after very long relationship >only ever had sex with her >match with cute girl on Tinder >go over to apartment and go for a walk in the rain >she brings me upstairs >we watch a movie and flirt a little but im nervous and she was a little awkward >she turns off the lights and randomly says "time for bed" >we start to make out >get naked >she's a literal 10/10 perfect body >I am fingering her and eating her out >go to get condom and boner goes down >oh f--- >won't get hard >so nervous and uncomfortable my little buddy refuses to cooperate >just finger her and play with her n------ >think she came but who knows >we lay together and she can tell im bothered >asks me what's the matter and explains that she literally doesn't care she had a great time >kisses me and we hold eachother tight >tells me about her ex >total f------ scumbag >tell her I've been having a rough time since my breakup too >she says "I could get used to this" >talk until around 2AM >cuddle all night but I can't really sleep >by morning I'm completely in love >go to take train home and kiss her goodbye >she unmatches me an hour later

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.

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Anon gets cheated on | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/21/18(Fri)14:51:38 No.787850675 >be me 16 >have a gf of two years >always have been self conscious of her cheating on me 36 KB JPG >decide to make a fake account and hit her up on snapchat >she doesn't suspect a thing >eventually convince to trade nudes >she loves it and sends pics of her ass/t--- >she tells me about how she would go behind her boyfriends back and f--- me whenever she could >still going on >i don't know if i should tell her or keep going >tfw my gf is cheating on me with me

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Anon goes to the restroom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Story from today >Go to use restroom >Pick the urinal on the far left as it's the closest (there are 3 for context) >Soon after another guy comes, takes the far right urinal >Randomly a third guy comes in and exclaims "Ayooo, it's peepee time" >He approaches middle stall and says "mind if I squeeeeze in here?" Before doing so regardless >"How are we doing today, fellas?" >Start to awkwardly laugh, finish pissing and and got to wash my hands >He follows me, watches me wash my hands, then proceeds to not wash his and leave Did I meet a sigma male? 366 01/25/22(Tue)01:18:47 No.67134420 27 KB JPG

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Anon goes on r/Conservative | /r/Greentext

> Open /r/Conservative to see what they're talking about >trans agenda >trans agenda >Hunter Biden's c--- >pride flags >Hunter Biden's c--- >Here's how Trump can still win >pride flags >trans agenda >trans t--- at the white house >Hunter Biden's c---

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anon has some misadventures with a carrot | /r/Greentext

Damn.. I kinda created my own personal hell through poor decisior making Anonymous 07/08/23(Sat)23:09:40 No.73955576 >>73956536 IS IT OVER FOR ME BROS??? The Damocles' Carrot >be me >watches a--- p--- >sees the girls enjoying it >thinks to muhself: wow must be nice huh? >sneak a carrot out of the fridge >shoves it into my ass when my parents were downstairs >hurts like F--- but believes that it will feel good >it doesnt >hears footsteps >OH F--- >pulls out the s----ridden carrot and throw it into the laundry bin because i am a retard >mom walks up, i pull up my pants >mom checks in says hi and leaves >forgets to take out the s--- ridden carrot ✓ >>73956487 my parents has never mentioned it to me till this day. they MUST have found out they MUST have but they've never bought it up to me, its been 6 F------ YEARS and its been haunting me in my dreams for FOREVER

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Least protective anon towards woman | /r/Greentext

07/09/23(Sun)14:50:38 No.73958148 : Anonymous >>73958014 >>73957656 none of this mfs are me, the story goes like this >be me >get paired up with a cutie on a college project >for some reason she doesn't want me to go to her home so suggest we do the project at my house >bitch suggest day were coincidentally my parents arent home >it's like shes setting up a sex adventure >the day comes >nobody's home, she's cute and im extremely horny at this point >realize i could have her and nobody could stop me >don't want to r--- her cuz ill obvs end up in jail or smth >impure thoughts flood my head >realize it's gonna happen weather any or us likes it or not >tell her she better go home >says she wants the project to be done today so she doesn't wanna leave >my warnings arent working >remember my based dad hides guns in his closet >tell her im going to drop a deuce but grab a gun >tell her she has to go otherwise i will be forced to r--- her >bitch yells like a banshee and runs away leaving all her s--- here >know for a fact she will accuse me of r--- regardless so may as well shouldve done it >too late anyways

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Anon likes single moms and the polish | /r/Greentext

File: Napoleon Bonaparte.jpg (1.04 MB, 1536x2048) Napoleon Anonymous (ID: Schuy64b >be me >manlet >fall in love with single mom >cucks me and cant bear me a son >f--- tons of bitches and get remarried >basically emperor of the world >make the mistake of invading Russia >get exiled 07/09/23(Sun)12:32:36 No.433821324 [Reply] >>433821418 >escape, take power again, lose and get exiled again >last words were single moms name >> Anonymous (ID: (USnngFQ) 07/09/23 (Sun)12:34:22 No.433821418 >>433821324 (OP) Yeah, I'm thinking based.

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Anon makes a sandwich. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/08/23(Sat) 23:18:12 No.90229217 WHEEZE e9f.png 53 KB PNG >be me >local sandwich making f-- >be at work >4/10 coal burning roastie comes in with tiny n----- >neverhurtnoone.mp4 >proceeds to order sandwich for her shitskin spawn >starts screaming order at her >don'tgetpaidenoughforthis.mov >get to the veggies >only wants banana peppers and hot sauce >ufuckinwot >mfw the only thing that could calm a feral gorilla was bananas and hotsauce Tl;dr stereotypes exist for a reason.

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Anon, the chronic wizard | /r/Greentext

onymous 10/01/22(Sat)04:48:59 No.70415205 >29 >kissless >hugless >virgin >can clearly remember how when I turned 20 I thought to myself "It's okay that I'm turning 20 and have yet to be on a date with a girl, I've got my whole twenties to figure this thing out" >am turning 30 next year and feel like I am no closer to getting a girlfriend than >quiet voice in my head telling me that I am f----- and that it is too late is getting so loud that I have trouble thinking over it >quiet voice in my head tells me that no woman is going to want to put up with a retarded 30-year-old man who doesn't know how dates work 21 KB JPG >quiet voice tells me that this pain in my heart is going to get worse and will continue to get worse forever and that there is no hope >quiet voice starts screaming at me whenever I have to interact with a female cashier or waitress that this woman can see how disgustingly lonely I am and that I need to stop bothering her

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no no, he has a point. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 56 KB JPG 07/08/23(Sat)17:36:11 No.187268040 >Held the literal Holy Grail >The cup that Christ drank from at the last supper >Finds out it gives you immortal life >Healed his fathers wound with the blessed water >Ends up a depressed loner with no meaning in his life Something missing here?

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Anon no friens, me sad. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous "you are what you eat" no wonder I'm batteries 66 KB JPG 07/09/23(Sun)02:30:40 No.7395415 >Cut off all my s----- friends months ago because they always treated me like s--- >Only 1 friend left >He tells me he's going on a business trip for a year and a half a month ago >See him online playing games with the old s----- friends today >He ignores my messages >Starting the think the business trip thing was a lie he is using to ignore me

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Free Healthcare license | /r/Greentext

07/08/23 (Sat)20:59:45 No.902266866 Anonymous >Be me, today, Britbong. >Wake up, buy license on phone and watch some TV >Cook small breakfast of sausages, back bacon, eggs, tomatoes, mushrooms, fried bread, and beans on my licensed stove >After a while get a little hungry, leave flat >Too tired for stairs, buy elevator license and call a cabbie >Hackney shows up, I buy hackney license and hop in >Cabbie says, "Oi! ifis' sitefor stalin beuful for it innnit? What hasta firin beaufor in a wassah eh? >I say, "alrite". >Arrive at kebab bazaar across the street, pay cabbie and purchase bazaar and kebab license >Choose kebab store #1,353 for their amazing curry kebab. Buy a curry license. >On my way out see some American tourists. >Greet them with "G'day governor!". >Get shot. >Buy free healthcare license. >Post story to /b from hospital (bought internet license). >So, how is your day going?

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anon is real and gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous poggers 341 KB PNG 7 Replies 07/08/23(Sat) 20:38:23 No.73954257 What are the most male dominated professions that aren't physical labor or programming? I don't want to work with women anymore. : Anonymous >>73954257 (OP) # Gay p--- industry? >>73956931 # View Thread 07/08/23(Sat)22:44:02 No.73955375

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Greentext Stories - Anon got a Tinder girl and have sex with condom | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 05/07/23 (Wed)03:30:13 No.877885925 107 KB JPG >recently single after very long relationship >only ever had sex with her >match with cute girl on Tinder >go over to apartment and go for a walk in the rain >she brings me upstairs >we watch a movie and flirt a little but im nervous and she was a little awkward >she turns off the lights and randomly says "time for bed" >we start to make out >get naked >she's a literal 10/10 perfect body >I am fingering her and eating her out >go to get condom and boner goes down >oh f--- >won't get hard >so nervous and uncomfortable my little buddy refuses to cooperate >just finger her and play with her n------ >think she came but who knows >we lay together and she can tell im bothered >asks me what's the matter and explains that she literally doesn't care she had a great time >kisses me and we hold eachother tight >tells me about her ex >total f------ scumbag >tell her I've been having a rough time since my breakup too >she says "I could get used to this" >talk until around 2AM >cuddle all night but I can't really sleep >by morning I'm completely in love >go to take train home and kiss her goodbye >she unmatches me an hour later

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