Anon got a Tinder girl and have sex with condom | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 05/07/23 (Wed)03:30:13 No.877885925 107 KB JPG >recently single after very long relationship >only ever had sex with her >match with cute girl on Tinder >go over to apartment and go for a walk in the rain >she brings me upstairs >we watch a movie and flirt a little but im nervous and she was a little awkward >she turns off the lights and randomly says "time for bed" >we start to make out >get naked >she's a literal 10/10 perfect body >I am fingering her and eating her out >go to get condom and boner goes down >oh f--- >won't get hard >so nervous and uncomfortable my little buddy refuses to cooperate >just finger her and play with her n------ >think she came but who knows >we lay together and she can tell im bothered >asks me what's the matter and explains that she literally doesn't care she had a great time >kisses me and we hold eachother tight >tells me about her ex >total f------ scumbag >tell her I've been having a rough time since my breakup too >she says "I could get used to this" >talk until around 2AM >cuddle all night but I can't really sleep >by morning I'm completely in love >go to take train home and kiss her goodbye >she unmatches me an hour later

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon gets cheated on | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/21/18(Fri)14:51:38 No.787850675 >be me 16 >have a gf of two years >always have been self conscious of her cheating on me 36 KB JPG >decide to make a fake account and hit her up on snapchat >she doesn't suspect a thing >eventually convince to trade nudes >she loves it and sends pics of her ass/t--- >she tells me about how she would go behind her boyfriends back and f--- me whenever she could >still going on >i don't know if i should tell her or keep going >tfw my gf is cheating on me with me

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Anon goes to the restroom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Story from today >Go to use restroom >Pick the urinal on the far left as it's the closest (there are 3 for context) >Soon after another guy comes, takes the far right urinal >Randomly a third guy comes in and exclaims "Ayooo, it's peepee time" >He approaches middle stall and says "mind if I squeeeeze in here?" Before doing so regardless >"How are we doing today, fellas?" >Start to awkwardly laugh, finish pissing and and got to wash my hands >He follows me, watches me wash my hands, then proceeds to not wash his and leave Did I meet a sigma male? 366 01/25/22(Tue)01:18:47 No.67134420 27 KB JPG

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Anon goes on r/Conservative | /r/Greentext

> Open /r/Conservative to see what they're talking about >trans agenda >trans agenda >Hunter Biden's c--- >pride flags >Hunter Biden's c--- >Here's how Trump can still win >pride flags >trans agenda >trans t--- at the white house >Hunter Biden's c---

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anon has some misadventures with a carrot | /r/Greentext

Damn.. I kinda created my own personal hell through poor decisior making Anonymous 07/08/23(Sat)23:09:40 No.73955576 >>73956536 IS IT OVER FOR ME BROS??? The Damocles' Carrot >be me >watches a--- p--- >sees the girls enjoying it >thinks to muhself: wow must be nice huh? >sneak a carrot out of the fridge >shoves it into my ass when my parents were downstairs >hurts like F--- but believes that it will feel good >it doesnt >hears footsteps >OH F--- >pulls out the s----ridden carrot and throw it into the laundry bin because i am a retard >mom walks up, i pull up my pants >mom checks in says hi and leaves >forgets to take out the s--- ridden carrot ✓ >>73956487 my parents has never mentioned it to me till this day. they MUST have found out they MUST have but they've never bought it up to me, its been 6 F------ YEARS and its been haunting me in my dreams for FOREVER

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Least protective anon towards woman | /r/Greentext

07/09/23(Sun)14:50:38 No.73958148 : Anonymous >>73958014 >>73957656 none of this mfs are me, the story goes like this >be me >get paired up with a cutie on a college project >for some reason she doesn't want me to go to her home so suggest we do the project at my house >bitch suggest day were coincidentally my parents arent home >it's like shes setting up a sex adventure >the day comes >nobody's home, she's cute and im extremely horny at this point >realize i could have her and nobody could stop me >don't want to r--- her cuz ill obvs end up in jail or smth >impure thoughts flood my head >realize it's gonna happen weather any or us likes it or not >tell her she better go home >says she wants the project to be done today so she doesn't wanna leave >my warnings arent working >remember my based dad hides guns in his closet >tell her im going to drop a deuce but grab a gun >tell her she has to go otherwise i will be forced to r--- her >bitch yells like a banshee and runs away leaving all her s--- here >know for a fact she will accuse me of r--- regardless so may as well shouldve done it >too late anyways

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Anon likes single moms and the polish | /r/Greentext

File: Napoleon Bonaparte.jpg (1.04 MB, 1536x2048) Napoleon Anonymous (ID: Schuy64b >be me >manlet >fall in love with single mom >cucks me and cant bear me a son >f--- tons of bitches and get remarried >basically emperor of the world >make the mistake of invading Russia >get exiled 07/09/23(Sun)12:32:36 No.433821324 [Reply] >>433821418 >escape, take power again, lose and get exiled again >last words were single moms name >> Anonymous (ID: (USnngFQ) 07/09/23 (Sun)12:34:22 No.433821418 >>433821324 (OP) Yeah, I'm thinking based.

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Anon makes a sandwich. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/08/23(Sat) 23:18:12 No.90229217 WHEEZE e9f.png 53 KB PNG >be me >local sandwich making f-- >be at work >4/10 coal burning roastie comes in with tiny n----- >neverhurtnoone.mp4 >proceeds to order sandwich for her shitskin spawn >starts screaming order at her >don'tgetpaidenoughforthis.mov >get to the veggies >only wants banana peppers and hot sauce >ufuckinwot >mfw the only thing that could calm a feral gorilla was bananas and hotsauce Tl;dr stereotypes exist for a reason.

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Anon, the chronic wizard | /r/Greentext

onymous 10/01/22(Sat)04:48:59 No.70415205 >29 >kissless >hugless >virgin >can clearly remember how when I turned 20 I thought to myself "It's okay that I'm turning 20 and have yet to be on a date with a girl, I've got my whole twenties to figure this thing out" >am turning 30 next year and feel like I am no closer to getting a girlfriend than >quiet voice in my head telling me that I am f----- and that it is too late is getting so loud that I have trouble thinking over it >quiet voice in my head tells me that no woman is going to want to put up with a retarded 30-year-old man who doesn't know how dates work 21 KB JPG >quiet voice tells me that this pain in my heart is going to get worse and will continue to get worse forever and that there is no hope >quiet voice starts screaming at me whenever I have to interact with a female cashier or waitress that this woman can see how disgustingly lonely I am and that I need to stop bothering her

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no no, he has a point. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 56 KB JPG 07/08/23(Sat)17:36:11 No.187268040 >Held the literal Holy Grail >The cup that Christ drank from at the last supper >Finds out it gives you immortal life >Healed his fathers wound with the blessed water >Ends up a depressed loner with no meaning in his life Something missing here?

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Anon no friens, me sad. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous "you are what you eat" no wonder I'm batteries 66 KB JPG 07/09/23(Sun)02:30:40 No.7395415 >Cut off all my s----- friends months ago because they always treated me like s--- >Only 1 friend left >He tells me he's going on a business trip for a year and a half a month ago >See him online playing games with the old s----- friends today >He ignores my messages >Starting the think the business trip thing was a lie he is using to ignore me

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Free Healthcare license | /r/Greentext

07/08/23 (Sat)20:59:45 No.902266866 Anonymous >Be me, today, Britbong. >Wake up, buy license on phone and watch some TV >Cook small breakfast of sausages, back bacon, eggs, tomatoes, mushrooms, fried bread, and beans on my licensed stove >After a while get a little hungry, leave flat >Too tired for stairs, buy elevator license and call a cabbie >Hackney shows up, I buy hackney license and hop in >Cabbie says, "Oi! ifis' sitefor stalin beuful for it innnit? What hasta firin beaufor in a wassah eh? >I say, "alrite". >Arrive at kebab bazaar across the street, pay cabbie and purchase bazaar and kebab license >Choose kebab store #1,353 for their amazing curry kebab. Buy a curry license. >On my way out see some American tourists. >Greet them with "G'day governor!". >Get shot. >Buy free healthcare license. >Post story to /b from hospital (bought internet license). >So, how is your day going?

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anon is real and gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous poggers 341 KB PNG 7 Replies 07/08/23(Sat) 20:38:23 No.73954257 What are the most male dominated professions that aren't physical labor or programming? I don't want to work with women anymore. : Anonymous >>73954257 (OP) # Gay p--- industry? >>73956931 # View Thread 07/08/23(Sat)22:44:02 No.73955375

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