Anon gets cheated on | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 12/21/18(Fri)14:51:38 No.787850675 >be me 16 >have a gf of two years >always have been self conscious of her cheating on me 36 KB JPG >decide to make a fake account and hit her up on snapchat >she doesn't suspect a thing >eventually convince to trade nudes >she loves it and sends pics of her ass/t--- >she tells me about how she would go behind her boyfriends back and f--- me whenever she could >still going on >i don't know if i should tell her or keep going >tfw my gf is cheating on me with me

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon goes to the restroom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Story from today >Go to use restroom >Pick the urinal on the far left as it's the closest (there are 3 for context) >Soon after another guy comes, takes the far right urinal >Randomly a third guy comes in and exclaims "Ayooo, it's peepee time" >He approaches middle stall and says "mind if I squeeeeze in here?" Before doing so regardless >"How are we doing today, fellas?" >Start to awkwardly laugh, finish pissing and and got to wash my hands >He follows me, watches me wash my hands, then proceeds to not wash his and leave Did I meet a sigma male? 366 01/25/22(Tue)01:18:47 No.67134420 27 KB JPG

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Anon goes on r/Conservative | /r/Greentext

> Open /r/Conservative to see what they're talking about >trans agenda >trans agenda >Hunter Biden's c--- >pride flags >Hunter Biden's c--- >Here's how Trump can still win >pride flags >trans agenda >trans t--- at the white house >Hunter Biden's c---

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anon has some misadventures with a carrot | /r/Greentext

Damn.. I kinda created my own personal hell through poor decisior making Anonymous 07/08/23(Sat)23:09:40 No.73955576 >>73956536 IS IT OVER FOR ME BROS??? The Damocles' Carrot >be me >watches a--- p--- >sees the girls enjoying it >thinks to muhself: wow must be nice huh? >sneak a carrot out of the fridge >shoves it into my ass when my parents were downstairs >hurts like F--- but believes that it will feel good >it doesnt >hears footsteps >OH F--- >pulls out the s----ridden carrot and throw it into the laundry bin because i am a retard >mom walks up, i pull up my pants >mom checks in says hi and leaves >forgets to take out the s--- ridden carrot ✓ >>73956487 my parents has never mentioned it to me till this day. they MUST have found out they MUST have but they've never bought it up to me, its been 6 F------ YEARS and its been haunting me in my dreams for FOREVER

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Least protective anon towards woman | /r/Greentext

07/09/23(Sun)14:50:38 No.73958148 : Anonymous >>73958014 >>73957656 none of this mfs are me, the story goes like this >be me >get paired up with a cutie on a college project >for some reason she doesn't want me to go to her home so suggest we do the project at my house >bitch suggest day were coincidentally my parents arent home >it's like shes setting up a sex adventure >the day comes >nobody's home, she's cute and im extremely horny at this point >realize i could have her and nobody could stop me >don't want to r--- her cuz ill obvs end up in jail or smth >impure thoughts flood my head >realize it's gonna happen weather any or us likes it or not >tell her she better go home >says she wants the project to be done today so she doesn't wanna leave >my warnings arent working >remember my based dad hides guns in his closet >tell her im going to drop a deuce but grab a gun >tell her she has to go otherwise i will be forced to r--- her >bitch yells like a banshee and runs away leaving all her s--- here >know for a fact she will accuse me of r--- regardless so may as well shouldve done it >too late anyways

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Anon likes single moms and the polish | /r/Greentext

File: Napoleon Bonaparte.jpg (1.04 MB, 1536x2048) Napoleon Anonymous (ID: Schuy64b >be me >manlet >fall in love with single mom >cucks me and cant bear me a son >f--- tons of bitches and get remarried >basically emperor of the world >make the mistake of invading Russia >get exiled 07/09/23(Sun)12:32:36 No.433821324 [Reply] >>433821418 >escape, take power again, lose and get exiled again >last words were single moms name >> Anonymous (ID: (USnngFQ) 07/09/23 (Sun)12:34:22 No.433821418 >>433821324 (OP) Yeah, I'm thinking based.

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Anon makes a sandwich. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/08/23(Sat) 23:18:12 No.90229217 WHEEZE e9f.png 53 KB PNG >be me >local sandwich making f-- >be at work >4/10 coal burning roastie comes in with tiny n----- >neverhurtnoone.mp4 >proceeds to order sandwich for her shitskin spawn >starts screaming order at her >don'tgetpaidenoughforthis.mov >get to the veggies >only wants banana peppers and hot sauce >ufuckinwot >mfw the only thing that could calm a feral gorilla was bananas and hotsauce Tl;dr stereotypes exist for a reason.

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Anon, the chronic wizard | /r/Greentext

onymous 10/01/22(Sat)04:48:59 No.70415205 >29 >kissless >hugless >virgin >can clearly remember how when I turned 20 I thought to myself "It's okay that I'm turning 20 and have yet to be on a date with a girl, I've got my whole twenties to figure this thing out" >am turning 30 next year and feel like I am no closer to getting a girlfriend than >quiet voice in my head telling me that I am f----- and that it is too late is getting so loud that I have trouble thinking over it >quiet voice in my head tells me that no woman is going to want to put up with a retarded 30-year-old man who doesn't know how dates work 21 KB JPG >quiet voice tells me that this pain in my heart is going to get worse and will continue to get worse forever and that there is no hope >quiet voice starts screaming at me whenever I have to interact with a female cashier or waitress that this woman can see how disgustingly lonely I am and that I need to stop bothering her

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no no, he has a point. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 56 KB JPG 07/08/23(Sat)17:36:11 No.187268040 >Held the literal Holy Grail >The cup that Christ drank from at the last supper >Finds out it gives you immortal life >Healed his fathers wound with the blessed water >Ends up a depressed loner with no meaning in his life Something missing here?

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Anon no friens, me sad. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous "you are what you eat" no wonder I'm batteries 66 KB JPG 07/09/23(Sun)02:30:40 No.7395415 >Cut off all my s----- friends months ago because they always treated me like s--- >Only 1 friend left >He tells me he's going on a business trip for a year and a half a month ago >See him online playing games with the old s----- friends today >He ignores my messages >Starting the think the business trip thing was a lie he is using to ignore me

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Free Healthcare license | /r/Greentext

07/08/23 (Sat)20:59:45 No.902266866 Anonymous >Be me, today, Britbong. >Wake up, buy license on phone and watch some TV >Cook small breakfast of sausages, back bacon, eggs, tomatoes, mushrooms, fried bread, and beans on my licensed stove >After a while get a little hungry, leave flat >Too tired for stairs, buy elevator license and call a cabbie >Hackney shows up, I buy hackney license and hop in >Cabbie says, "Oi! ifis' sitefor stalin beuful for it innnit? What hasta firin beaufor in a wassah eh? >I say, "alrite". >Arrive at kebab bazaar across the street, pay cabbie and purchase bazaar and kebab license >Choose kebab store #1,353 for their amazing curry kebab. Buy a curry license. >On my way out see some American tourists. >Greet them with "G'day governor!". >Get shot. >Buy free healthcare license. >Post story to /b from hospital (bought internet license). >So, how is your day going?

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anon is real and gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous poggers 341 KB PNG 7 Replies 07/08/23(Sat) 20:38:23 No.73954257 What are the most male dominated professions that aren't physical labor or programming? I don't want to work with women anymore. : Anonymous >>73954257 (OP) # Gay p--- industry? >>73956931 # View Thread 07/08/23(Sat)22:44:02 No.73955375

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Anon wants to end it all | /r/Greentext

Anonymous IT'S OVER 07/09/23(Sun)00:58:56 No.902278300 18 KB PNG >x exists >x can benefit (good) >x can suffer (bad) >x does not exist >x cannot benefit (not bad) >x cannot suffer (good) not existing is objectively better than existing. 17 Replies View Thread

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