Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>be me >it's 1AM >have to pee >like, really bad >get out of bed and waddle to bathroom, half-asleep >start peeing, still half-asleep 155 KB JPG >God it feels so good >look down >completely missed the toilet bowl, p----- all over the floor >ohshit.png >mom saw everything cause i left the door open >OHSHIT.png >wake up >itwasalladream.exe >wait, bed feels weird >mfw i p----- and s--- myself

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon gets free starbucks | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/12/23(Mon )06:21:06 No.73645098 21 KB JPG >be me >go to park >sit on bench for hours because I don't have anyone to talk to >notice two beautiful women come up to me >they give me a starbucks drink because they saw me sitting alone for hours >they leave and I never see them again What did they mean this?

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Anon has a unexpected turn | /r/Greentext

28 KB JPG >be me, 14 >sister is 16 >be at home one night, dad is out >sister is wearing bra and panties >boner.jpg >sitting on the couch watching tv >she says she's going to bed, goes to her room >dad gets home >dad and I f--- 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon loses his best fren | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 46 KB JPG >get injured a few times but the vet fixes him up and he recovers >cat now 19yrs old >old injuries are catching up to him >hasn't been able to move very well these past couple of months 06/11/23(Sun)18:52:59 No.73642361 >starts losing balance a week ago, instead of his usual bed he now rests in the hallway near his food. When you pet him it feels like skin and bones. Drinks a lot more now : Anonymous >have cat >a real warrior, fought off hawks and caught rabbits >yesterday is unable to stand on his own, gives me that look with dilated pupils that he is tired and in terrible pain >today unable to lift his head, make him drink water and hand feed him the biggest steak he's ever seen >vet says at his age and state the best they could do would be to make him a bit more comfortable for a month at best >putting down my best buddy tomorrow 我告诉自己不许哭 I told myself don't cry 123 KB JPG 06/11/23(Sun)18:56:57 No.73642402 This broke my heart op. Stay strong

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Anon has a fever dream | /r/Greentext

54 KB JPG >Be me, 13 at the time >Sitting in English class >Ms Davis bends over and I see a tiddy >Pop a huge boner >Didn't realize it at the time but having a 7 incher is unusual for my age >Literally impossible to hide with my athletic shorts >All of the girls swarm my desk >One of them is running her hand up my thigh >Another is taking a selfie with it super close to her face >Suddenly the most popular, hottest girl in class walks over >She pulls my shorts down >Pants still at my ankles, I run out the class in tears >I waddle to principal's office as fast as I can >Explain everything that happened >I forget that my penis is out >He starts sucking my d--- >I s--- >He gets mad, calls my parents, explains that I s--- while he was sucking me off >My parents spank me

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anon discovers biology class. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/06/2023, 16:17:37 No.28307796 83 KB JPEG > be me > obsessed with biology > rat dissection next week > super excited! > disection time!1!!! > see rats face, realise it was a living animal with friends and a family > still need to see the insides > stomach bursts on my clothes > vomit and cry and leave the room > now all the food i smell and eat reminds me of the rat and i refuse to eat it > dangerously underweight > goes to doctor > mfw a rat gives me an eating disorder

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Anon wonders what people will be doing during the Reddit Blackout Protest. | /r/Greentext

File: 61ebjoEXdQL._AC_UF1000.10(...).jpg (62 KB, 920x1000) Reddit Blackout Protest. Anonymous 06/11/23(Sun)17:40:02 No.73641582 ► >So guys, as you probably know, there is a blackout protest going on on Reddit starting soon on June 12th because of the upcoming API changes on Reddit. >Several subreddits that are participating will be private for 48 hours. >Some are threatening to remain privated unless the API changes don't happen. >So I want to ask everyone here who uses Reddit, what are you going to do during the Reddit Blackout Protest?Personally I am gonna go dark and stop using Reddit for 48 hours, maybe longer depending on what is going on, but I would like to hear what you would be doing.

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Anon realizes the REAL problem | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 75 KB JPG 06/11/23(Sun)18:18:44 No.73641996 >be me >autist + khv + neet combo breaker >spend most (all) of my time on /pol/ and /r9k/ >every other thread is about how n------ are destroying society, chads and chad privilege, interracial dating statistics, sexual market value, etc >go to a bar irl and just sit and people watch >early 20s kids on first dates >guys after work grabbing drinks >people watching sports and just getting along >nobody is discussing blackpill, or lookism >nobody gives a s--- about prey eyes or canthal tilt or jaw recession >nobody cares about hypergamy or female monopoly of sex >everyone is literally just having pleasant conversations and enjoying themselves is... is this place the problem? f------ normie. gtfo : Anonymous bet there were no interracial first dates tho, huh? 06/11/23(Sun)18:20:39 No.73642010

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Anon hates society | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 321 KB GIF 06/11/23(Sun)14:18:57 No.73639342 >muh required graduation from certain field >muh certificate >muh training >muh 5 years of needed experience >muh teamwork >muh time flexibility >muh psychological test >muh physical test >muh working from 5 in the morning is normal and ethical 2 Replies >muh minimal wage is still enough to cover expenses >if you fulfill all of these we will maybe give you a chance F--- this retarded gay society View Thread : Anonymous >>73639342 (OP) # i have a degree and i would honestly rather shovel s--- for barely above minimum wage for 60 hours a week than tolerate this interview qualification b------- far less humiliating to be a menial labour wagie slave, than to prance around some rich guy competing with 5 other trained monkeys to get a 2 euro higher hour 06/11/23(Sun)14:20:49 No.73639366

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someone’s been fiddling | /r/Greentext

</fit/ salmonella in penis? Anonymous No. 51230182 (8 h) JPG 94.60 KB Hi guys, I was cooking last night, making some chicken breasts. I had spilled some soda on my pants, so I was cooking without pants on. I was moving some trays around and I accidentally dropped a chicken breast on the floor. But it hit my penis before it hit the floor. This morning my penis seems like it is inflamed and the peehole hurts if I touch it. Is it possible I got salmonella poisoning? Anonymous No. 51230183 (8 h) You f----- those chicken breasts didn't you? Anonymous No. 51230188 (8 h) You f----- the raw chicken, didn't you? = Anonymous No. 51230192 (8 h) you did

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Anon hates Indians | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Indians lol Imagine actually being Indian lol 8 hours BEING RACIST ON THE >colonised by Britain for years despite INTERNET having over a billion people >got independence by Britain after they used all their resources >has smallest d---- in the world >one of the smallest people in the 1 MINUTE LISTENING TO A WOMAN TALK 79 KB JPG world >have the gene that makes them smell because of their skin colour (2nd to n------) >dont use deodorant because water is better supposedly despite everyone knowing they smell terrible >wash ass with bare hands and water and then eat without utensils Lol even the women should kill themselves : Anonymous 06/11/23(Sun)07:18:34 No.73635606 >>73636314 # : Anonymous >>73635606 (OP) # >>73635626 # >>73637417 # 06/11/23(Sun)07:22:25 No.73635626 06/11/23(Sun)09:03:19 No.73636314 Did an Indian f--- your wife or something? Get over it kek

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Femanon craves intimacy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous a 26 KB JPG 06/11/23(Sun)14:38:37 No.73639582 > be me > be woman > go to male virgin friend's house to get drunk > friend lives with dad who isn't home > get drunk > friend gets much much drunker > start 2 have drunk sex because sex addict > his dad comes home > he was too drunk and nervous to get hard > i don't judge, its whatevah, sex is sex > comfort him and whatevr cuz good person > i go out and strike up convo with his dad while he rests > dad is really sweet and slightly buzzed, rugged charm > he asks if im hungry > makes me instant mac and cheese > instant infatuation 10 Replies > i can't stop thinking about sex with friend's dad > i want his dad to use me as a personal c--- sleeve > i fantasize about his son leaving the house and being alone with him long enough for him to pound my desperate p---- until he c--- on my petite tummy Anonymous >>73639582 (OP) # larp... hot larp but larp none the less View Thread 06/11/23(Sun)14:55:48 No.73639786 : Anonymous >>73639750 # this story is disgustingly real and the thought of his c--- filling me up is frustrating beyond belief 06/11/23(Sun)14:58:37 No.73639810

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Anon getting pissed off | /r/Greentext

135 KB PNG >WOW anon you're so tall >haha i bet you are good at basketball >how is the weather up there teehee >i can't reach the top shelf,can you help me? >i wish i was as tall as you anon, must be nice Will all of you shut up already. There is nothing good about being tall and only people who really care about height are incels

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