Anon seeking for help | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

71 KB JPG >be a naturally beautiful young girl >female classmates bully you out of envy >boys ignore you because your looks intimidate them >grow up thinking you're ugly as a result of perceived rejection by peers >develop low self esteem and poor social skills >never believing anyone who expresses romantic interest towards you >turn into a bitter and hateful loner >become unable to form romantic relationships despite being attractive what would you do?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon being antichrist | /r/Greentext

27 KB JPG >be me >highschool >try to get girlfriend >"sorry anon let's stay friends" >becomes a nun >uni >have a gf >"sorry anon I felt the calling" >becomes a nun >make friends with lady at the cafe near my home >ask on a date >"oh anon pardon me, I can't" >ofc she would be a nun How the f--- am I supposed to compete with Jesus?

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Anon's looking kids | /r/Greentext

22 KB JPG >be me >Poor >Struggling game developer >Target a popular fanbase and make an app >Include ads & in-app purchases >Gets popular >Happy.jpg >Drain a bunch of 9 year olds financially >Goes unnoticed and s--- on copyright laws >Makes a living out of it

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Anon surpassed all the levels of awkwardness | /r/Greentext

76 KB JPG >go for a walk >walk into a store >get a carton of milk >go outside and open milk >walk around while drinking it >enjoying life >everyone starts looking at me >few people start laughing >keep drinking milk what the f--- is wrong with people can i not drink milk?

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anon prioritises sleep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous am i retarded? 06/11/23(Sun)20:00:59 No.900757295 lia doomer.jpg 37 KB JPG >be me >get drunk >tell girl that i like her at 5 in the morning through text >she calls me at 8 >tells me to "stop playing" and " i knew she was talking to someone" >tell her im tired and am going back to sleep >go back to sleep am i retarded or is this totally normal behavior?

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Anon saves a whale | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/11/23(Sun)20:04:26 No.900764133 IMG_2021.jpg 69 KB JPG W E >Decide to buy one because why not > buys the whale one Vanuatu gena Might not be so exciting but I want to tell you something that made my day a bit better >Bracelet arrives in the mail a few days later >Put it on and read the instructions Nouvelle-Calédoni >Be me >depressed >browsing the interwebs >Stumble upon a charity website >They sell these bracelets that help save endangered animals >Apparently, each bracelet is connected to a specific whale >It has a unique GPS chip, and when you activate it, you get coordinates to track the animal's location >That's freaking awesome >Activate the bracelet and enter the code on the website >Get the GPS coordinates for the animal I saved > currently I can see the whale is somewhere in the Antarctic Ocean > that moment when I was a part of saving an endangered animal > makes my day much better thinking about it

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Anon dislikes cr1tikal | /r/Greentext

GRUEL Most GRUBL GFUEL GFUEL moistcr1tikal.jpg 113 KB JPG PSL >hey everyone, it's cr1tikal >today I'll be stealing this youtube video someone else made and "reacting" to it by silently watching it with barely any input >wow this is just like that time when d--- sex poop queef vagina >alright that's it for today, tomorrow I'll be covering that two week old drama now that I know what the safe public opinion is How low does your IQ have to be to watch this s---?

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Anon lives with his sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10 10/14/18(Sun)12:39:16 No.48693227 8 KB JPG >be me, living with older sister >she's the one who's usually cooking >she's a terrible cook >I barely know how to make a sandwich so we've got no options >one day get into a fight and I tell her that her food is disgusting >"if you don't like my food then you can eat my p----" >go into my room >hottest fapping session of my life also, how do I apologize to her? She's the main source of income and the only one who does housework and laundry while I just sit at my computer all day. She could go out and f--- with Chad all day yet she'd rather provide me shelter. How could I return her favor?

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Your orbiter also deserves to be happy, Chad. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/11/23(Sun)10:06:07 No.29117611 Why I'm such a terrible friend? >never felt interested by my friend despite being from opposite genders >she is pretty but mildly chubby >she is shy and i introverted >suddenly she tells me how she got some new friends at gym >one of these "friends" is a guy she likes >i encourage her to go after him because I think it's alright for her to meet new people and challenge herself 25 KB JPG >out of nowhere she tells me that she is dating him and that he kissed her >lie to her face about how happy im for her but in fact I'm raging about it Why? I mean, i never liked her before, but suddenly I'm feeling territorial about her, i don't want her to have a boyfriend, i don't want her to pay attention to someone else, i don't want her to touch, to kiss or do something like that with another man, even if the thought never crossed my mind before now she is all what I'm thinking about. I don't get it, i don't understand my own feelings. I mean she is a chubby tard obsessed with anime and a terrible dress code but she is MY chubby tard with a terrible dressing sense. I don't want her to be with someone else. Should i tell her that i want her now? I want her for me and only me.

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Anon Cooks Potatoes | /r/Greentext

File: maxresdefault.jpg (115 KB, 1280x720) Anonymous 06/10/23(Sat)14:16:54 No.186192135 Boil potatoes. Mash potatoes. Roundhouse kick a potato into a stew. Slam dunk a baby potato into the deep fryer. Wash dirty spuds. Marinate in a potato's jacket. Slice potatoes into fries. Stir fry potatoes in a wok. Toss potatoes into a salad. Put butter onto a baked potato. Judo throw potatoes into a pot. Peel potatoes' skins off. Report potatoes to the FDA. Chop potatoes in half. Parboil potatoes. Wrap potatoes in aliminium foil. Crush potatoes with a meat tenderiser. Fry potatoes in a vat of butter. Eat potatoes. Dice potatoes. Grow potatoes in a greenhouse. Cut potatoes with steel knives. Bake potatoes in the oven. Roast potatoes. Mandatory salt for potatoes. Grind potatoes in the blender. Drown potatoes in gravy. Garnish potatoes with a herb blend. Kick old potatoes into the compost. Feed potatoes to your family. Slice potatoes with a santoku knife. >>186193789

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Anon wonders about the new Transformers movie. | /r/Greentext

Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: r3669.jpg (1.13 MB, 2025x3000) UNITE OR FALL TRANSFORMERS RISE OF THE BEASTS WHY IN THEAT Pute Hmmm Anonymous 06/11/23(Sun)11:43:48 No.900748581 >First Transformers movie to have colored leads. >It's called Rise of the Beasts. What did they mean by this? [A

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Anon Analyses Dialogue | /r/Greentext

File: through-the-eyes-of-jonse(...).png (335 KB, 1200x600) Anonymous 06/10/23 (Sat)21:29:26 No.186201040 >>186201237 >>186201961 >>186202219 >>186202238 >>186202259 >>186203445 >>186203456 >>186203477 >>186203514 >>186203518 >>186203609 >>186203776 >>186204117 >>186204149 >Meow What the f---? What did he mean by this?

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Anon is spitting facts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: e3dVvhv4) Center Left 0 Right Far Left Far Right 61 KB PNG 06/11/23(Sun)11:23:34 No.430232240 This s----- image board is literally feminists and commies but opposite, best example of the horseshoe theory. >Talk to leftists irl >"I think abortion is immoral, trans women and men arent real women and men" >REEEEEEEEEEE YOU ARE A F------ RACIST HOMOPHOBIC NAZI!! STOP TRYING TO KILL JEWS AND MINORITIES!!! >On /Pol/ >"I dont think all women are souless w-----, the "6ft bias" applies in online dating, also most immigrants are good as long as theyre legal, and being a step father is a good thing as long as you have children of your own" >REEEEE YOU ARE A F------ KEK BASEDBOY T-----, YOU F------ F-- NIG K---, STOP TRYING TO SHILL TO THE JEW, WHY DO YOU WANT TO KILL BABIES???? literally the same, Tumblr, Reddit, and 4chan /pol/ are good evidence that we live in a simulation and the programmer was to lazy to give you f---- unique dialogue so they just swapped some words around, get a life.

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