Anon saves a whale | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 06/11/23(Sun)20:04:26 No.900764133 IMG_2021.jpg 69 KB JPG W E >Decide to buy one because why not > buys the whale one Vanuatu gena Might not be so exciting but I want to tell you something that made my day a bit better >Bracelet arrives in the mail a few days later >Put it on and read the instructions Nouvelle-Calédoni >Be me >depressed >browsing the interwebs >Stumble upon a charity website >They sell these bracelets that help save endangered animals >Apparently, each bracelet is connected to a specific whale >It has a unique GPS chip, and when you activate it, you get coordinates to track the animal's location >That's freaking awesome >Activate the bracelet and enter the code on the website >Get the GPS coordinates for the animal I saved > currently I can see the whale is somewhere in the Antarctic Ocean > that moment when I was a part of saving an endangered animal > makes my day much better thinking about it

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon dislikes cr1tikal | /r/Greentext

GRUEL Most GRUBL GFUEL GFUEL moistcr1tikal.jpg 113 KB JPG PSL >hey everyone, it's cr1tikal >today I'll be stealing this youtube video someone else made and "reacting" to it by silently watching it with barely any input >wow this is just like that time when d--- sex poop queef vagina >alright that's it for today, tomorrow I'll be covering that two week old drama now that I know what the safe public opinion is How low does your IQ have to be to watch this s---?

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Anon lives with his sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10 10/14/18(Sun)12:39:16 No.48693227 8 KB JPG >be me, living with older sister >she's the one who's usually cooking >she's a terrible cook >I barely know how to make a sandwich so we've got no options >one day get into a fight and I tell her that her food is disgusting >"if you don't like my food then you can eat my p----" >go into my room >hottest fapping session of my life also, how do I apologize to her? She's the main source of income and the only one who does housework and laundry while I just sit at my computer all day. She could go out and f--- with Chad all day yet she'd rather provide me shelter. How could I return her favor?

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Your orbiter also deserves to be happy, Chad. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/11/23(Sun)10:06:07 No.29117611 Why I'm such a terrible friend? >never felt interested by my friend despite being from opposite genders >she is pretty but mildly chubby >she is shy and i introverted >suddenly she tells me how she got some new friends at gym >one of these "friends" is a guy she likes >i encourage her to go after him because I think it's alright for her to meet new people and challenge herself 25 KB JPG >out of nowhere she tells me that she is dating him and that he kissed her >lie to her face about how happy im for her but in fact I'm raging about it Why? I mean, i never liked her before, but suddenly I'm feeling territorial about her, i don't want her to have a boyfriend, i don't want her to pay attention to someone else, i don't want her to touch, to kiss or do something like that with another man, even if the thought never crossed my mind before now she is all what I'm thinking about. I don't get it, i don't understand my own feelings. I mean she is a chubby tard obsessed with anime and a terrible dress code but she is MY chubby tard with a terrible dressing sense. I don't want her to be with someone else. Should i tell her that i want her now? I want her for me and only me.

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Anon Cooks Potatoes | /r/Greentext

File: maxresdefault.jpg (115 KB, 1280x720) Anonymous 06/10/23(Sat)14:16:54 No.186192135 Boil potatoes. Mash potatoes. Roundhouse kick a potato into a stew. Slam dunk a baby potato into the deep fryer. Wash dirty spuds. Marinate in a potato's jacket. Slice potatoes into fries. Stir fry potatoes in a wok. Toss potatoes into a salad. Put butter onto a baked potato. Judo throw potatoes into a pot. Peel potatoes' skins off. Report potatoes to the FDA. Chop potatoes in half. Parboil potatoes. Wrap potatoes in aliminium foil. Crush potatoes with a meat tenderiser. Fry potatoes in a vat of butter. Eat potatoes. Dice potatoes. Grow potatoes in a greenhouse. Cut potatoes with steel knives. Bake potatoes in the oven. Roast potatoes. Mandatory salt for potatoes. Grind potatoes in the blender. Drown potatoes in gravy. Garnish potatoes with a herb blend. Kick old potatoes into the compost. Feed potatoes to your family. Slice potatoes with a santoku knife. >>186193789

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Anon wonders about the new Transformers movie. | /r/Greentext

Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: r3669.jpg (1.13 MB, 2025x3000) UNITE OR FALL TRANSFORMERS RISE OF THE BEASTS WHY IN THEAT Pute Hmmm Anonymous 06/11/23(Sun)11:43:48 No.900748581 >First Transformers movie to have colored leads. >It's called Rise of the Beasts. What did they mean by this? [A

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Anon Analyses Dialogue | /r/Greentext

File: through-the-eyes-of-jonse(...).png (335 KB, 1200x600) Anonymous 06/10/23 (Sat)21:29:26 No.186201040 >>186201237 >>186201961 >>186202219 >>186202238 >>186202259 >>186203445 >>186203456 >>186203477 >>186203514 >>186203518 >>186203609 >>186203776 >>186204117 >>186204149 >Meow What the f---? What did he mean by this?

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Anon is spitting facts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: e3dVvhv4) Center Left 0 Right Far Left Far Right 61 KB PNG 06/11/23(Sun)11:23:34 No.430232240 This s----- image board is literally feminists and commies but opposite, best example of the horseshoe theory. >Talk to leftists irl >"I think abortion is immoral, trans women and men arent real women and men" >REEEEEEEEEEE YOU ARE A F------ RACIST HOMOPHOBIC NAZI!! STOP TRYING TO KILL JEWS AND MINORITIES!!! >On /Pol/ >"I dont think all women are souless w-----, the "6ft bias" applies in online dating, also most immigrants are good as long as theyre legal, and being a step father is a good thing as long as you have children of your own" >REEEEE YOU ARE A F------ KEK BASEDBOY T-----, YOU F------ F-- NIG K---, STOP TRYING TO SHILL TO THE JEW, WHY DO YOU WANT TO KILL BABIES???? literally the same, Tumblr, Reddit, and 4chan /pol/ are good evidence that we live in a simulation and the programmer was to lazy to give you f---- unique dialogue so they just swapped some words around, get a life.

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Anon has a thing for kankles | /r/Greentext

Once the realization has been made by the masses that WW3 has started THE BUBBLE WILL FINALLY POP selling will be as intense, if not more so, than March of 2020. We will see 2-3k down days again in the DOW. The market will crater, housing will crash, rates will spike, the USDX will leap towards 120. The Dow will crater down to 18-21k, housing will crash roughly 25%, and commodities will get crushed >sauce: archive ph/toiws Feds Preparing for Gun Confiscations Thanks to horrible governmental policy, debt insolvency, systemic corruption, economic sabotage, soaring fertilizer prices, insane geo-engineering warfare against populations and the war in Ukraine, global food supplies have been getting plundered. So we really needed a banner year for agricultural production in both the United States and Europe in 2022 and that is not happening. In fact, unprecedented 'drought' is absolutely devastating crops all over the northern hemisphere. In 2023, there simply is not going to be enough food for everyone: 2 Replies 771 KB JPG : Anonymous >>900731666 (OP) # Dat bitch got kankles. I got a thing for kankles. View Thread 06/10/23(Sat)21:15:23 No.900732322

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Anon has thoughts on Ted Kaczynski | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the life-expectancy of those of us who live in "advanced" countries, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology will worsen the situation. It will certainly subject human beings to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world, it will probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering even in "advanced" countries 1958 1962 1958 1994 1959 1996 06/10/23(Sat)17:22:07 No.73629692 106 KB JPG >The industrial-technological system may survive or it may break down. If it survives, it MAY eventually achieve a low level of physical and psychological suffering, but only after passing through a long and very painful period of adjustment and only at the cost of permanently reducing human beings and many other living organisms to engineered products and mere cogs in the social machine. Furthermore, if the system survives, the consequences will be inevitable: There is no way of reforming or modifying the system so as to prevent it from depriving people of dignity and autonomy. You can call him crazy, you can call him insane, but he was right all along.

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Anon has a fake tinder profile | /r/Greentext

>download tinder >every girl looks about the same >they all have stupid bios >every match I get acts like they're too good for me 267 KB PNG > finally have enough of the b------- >start trolling for the fun of it seeing as I got nowhere before >act like a complete a------ >put pics up of me in my buddies C63 AMG >pictures of me leaning on the car etc >put job down as lawyer >lie saying I live in a rich neighborhood >post pics of a random pool with a view >start matching like crazy >girls message me first everytime >a lot asking about the car >be a d--- and tell them their t--- aren't big enough to ride in it they aren't pretty enough to be seen in it etc. >a lot of them respond with lols and laughing emojis remaining friendly >tell me how funny I am >some offer to suck my d---/ f--- me in the car or by "my pool" >realize how awesome life could be if I had money >get depressed >realize what a loser I am

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Will it Get Better? | /r/Greentext

← /b/900746379/ 24m (6/11 0:18) 900746379 0 Re. 0 Img PNG 148KB (840 x 420) 98432-meme-pepe-frog-sad-images-the.png mons Q Sad Coom... >be me, slightly overweight but overall pretty normal teen >bit of a coomer >slightly socially awkward but very afraid to talk to girls >big bro brings home chick >they hang out, eventually go to his room >they f--- >girl is moaning loudly >boner >i go to bathroom across the hall from his room >coom to moaning noises >shame.jpeg >think about being lonely coomer retard >more shame >fall asleep does it get better bros?

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Anon got a caring dad | /r/Greentext

>Dated 6 girls in high school >Never introduced any of them to my parents >Now I think my dad thinks i've never had a girlfriend before >I'm like 75% he thinks i'm gay and is trying to get me to say it >Any time he sees a girl like over the age of 14 he'll point her out to me >I know he's trying to be nice or whatever but it's really uncomfortable 7 KB JPG

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